Breathing: Part II

by Shunyata Ryuen

Five months have passed since the revelations of the Carnival, and the Suzaku 7 find themselves on the verge of the promised conflict. How can one small boy create so much danger? Rated R for adult situations. Nuri/Hori. Ch. 4.

3. III

[Breathing:  Part II, Chapter III]

~*~

Ryuuen was sulking.  Seated beside him in the passenger's seat, the older man had both arms folded over his chest, legs crossed at the ankle, and was glaring out at the passing scenery with rare malice.  As Sai flicked on his turn signal, preparing to slide the Taurus into the passing lane, he couldn't help but smile at how adept Ryuuen was at maintaining his current state of pouting.  He'd started early this morning, immediately after they "discussed" the importance of keeping his check-up appointment with Dr. Reckner, and he'd been sulking ever since.  Of course, they both knew that he wasn't actually angry; after the disturbing events of the previous evening, Ryuuen hadn't even let Sai venture into another room by himself, so it seemed unlikely that he was truly angry now. 

"I do hope you won't be doing this when we go to the adoption agency this afternoon," Sai said wryly.  He glanced at Ryuuen just in time to see the pout smirk upwards into a wide, goopy smile. 

Upon realizing that his change of mood was being observed, however, Ryuuen folded his arms more tightly against his chest and said, "Hrmph."

Sai shook his head, smiling despite his best efforts not to.  "Ryuuen, sweetheart, I'm sorry.  I know you don't want to go to this."  I would have to be deaf, dumb, blind, and in another time zone not to, I think.  "But, honey, I just want to make sure that you stay healthy.  If we're going to have a child now, we're going to both need to keep ourselves healthy.  It's not about us anymore--it's about him, and making sure that we stay around for as long as possible to take care of him."

That did it.  Ryuuen grinned again, leaning his head back against the headrest and sighing.

"I can't believe we're going to have a child," he murmured.  "I...I mean, I know that gay adoption is legal in Pennsylvania, and that we're eligible in all the other categories, but I...I just can't believe..."  He shook his head. 

Sai nodded, knowing exactly what he meant.  The odds had been against them from the start.  They were gay, they were just barely above the minimum age requirement, and their marriage wasn't recognized by the state, thus diminishing whatever leverage that status would've given them.  The only way it could possibly have been worse was, perhaps, if he and Ryuuen lived in a large cardboard box in the junkyard down the street.

And yet, it was true.  They'd received the call this morning, although Shouka had more than prepared them for it the night before.  Their adoption had gone through, and after they met the child and filled out some additional paperwork, he would come to live with them and that would be that. 

Of course, that was another problem:  the apartment they shared with Miaka and Taka was comfortable for the four of them, but certainly wasn't ready for a three-year-old addition.  Taka had been very polite about the entire thing, promising them that he would welcome any child of theirs into his home, but a tiny muscle in his neck had been twitching the entire time.  Sai was sure he'd been envisioning his white rug bathed in grape juice, his tidy kitchen splattered with Spaghetti-O's, and everything breakable in the apartment lying shattered on the floor.  That thought brought up another thought, and he knew that it was time to discuss it. 

"Ryuuen," he said slowly, not glancing at the man as he shifted back into the other lane.  "Now that we're going to have a child...  Well, sweetheart, it'll be hard, but we're probably going to have to--"

"To move out," Ryuuen sighed.  "I know."  His gaze drifted to the window, flickering back and forth as the guard rails zipped past the car.  "I wish we didn't have to, but I guess we don't have much choice.  Even if Taka wasn't obsessive about his carpeting, that apartment wouldn't be right for a little kid.  We need someplace where he can have a room of his own."  A tiny smile worked at the man's lips.  "And maybe a little yard to play in."

"Well, I was thinking about it last night."  The younger man chewed on his lower lip, contemplating how best to address the issue; finally, he opted to pull off the edge of the road, bring the car to a halt, and turn on his four-way-flashers. 

He had definitely captured Ryuuen's attention.  The smaller man was staring at him with wide eyes, folded arms loose, one eyebrow slightly raised.  Sai waited perhaps a half a second to gather his thoughts, and then twisted in his seat, reached forward, and took Ryuuen's hand into his own.

"I'd think this was a marriage proposal," Ryuuen said with a shake of his head, "but I'm pretty sure we already did that."

"Ryuuen," Sai said seriously, clasping his free hand over their joined fingers, "there's something that...that I need to discuss with you.  And you don't have to say yes, just think about it."  He drew a deep breath.  "When...when we moved in with Miaka and Taka, you know that it was so we could be near our friends, and not because we couldn't afford anything better.  But with a child...  Well, it just wouldn't be fair to stay in something so small, or to not use every resource available to us to make sure that that child has a good, stable life."

Ryuuen blinked at him.  He wasn't sure if the older man had any idea what he was implying yet, but those slender fingers had tightened slightly around his own.

"I...I want us to buy a house," Sai admitted at last.  "Not a huge one.  But Ryuuen, I've got all this money from my parents' estate, and even more than that in the bank, and I can't think of anything I'd rather use it for.  So, if that's what you want, if you want a house, then...well, sweetheart, I think we should buy one."

He had been expecting happiness.  Joy.  Maybe a hug or a kiss or an excited little yell.  What he was not expecting was for Ryuuen to stare at him for a moment, eyes wide and blinking, and then suddenly burst into tears.   

He opened his mouth to say something, anything really, but before he could, Ryuuen had unfastened his seatbelt with shaky hands, scooted over, and wrapped both arms around the younger man's chest.  Sai's arms went automatically around those small shoulders, clasping them gently, and he was suddenly very glad that he'd thought to pull off the side of the road.

"Oh, Sai," Ryuuen managed after a few minutes, face still buried in the other man's chest.  "Sai, I-I can't believe...I can't believe that you would...that we could..."  He shook his head, drawing a long, shuddering breath, and then raised his head and stared up at the younger man.  His eyes were wet, his cheeks pink and streaked with tears.  "How...how soon could we start looking?"

Sai opened his mouth to answer--then stopped.  "Before I answer," he said slowly, "there's a box of Kleenex in the glove compartment.  Perhaps you should...ah...get them out."

Ryuuen's lower lip began to waver again.  "W-Whyyyy?"

Sai smiled down at him, then leaned forward to kiss him lightly on the lips.  "Get the tissues first."

Looking vaguely suspicious, Ryuuen slid back into his seat and tugged open the glove compartment; Sai waited until he'd removed the Kleenex packet from inside and dropped it into his lap before speaking.

"All right," Sai said slowly.  "The fact is...we don't have to look.  It seems that Suzaku wants this child to have a home just as much as he wants us to have the child, because...  Ryuuen, a few days ago, my aunt decided to sell her home, and she told me that no matter how much anyone else offered, if I wanted it, she would sell it to me.  She gave me a week to think it over, and now--  Well, I'd say we should take her up on her offer, wouldn't you?"

Ryuuen, to his credit, bit down hard on his lower lip to keep from crying any further, but Sai could see that it was a struggle.  So, while the smaller man was straining to keep his emotions in check, Sai unbuckled his seatbelt and reached forward to draw Ryuuen into his arms, guiding the man's cheek to his shoulder and hugging him close.

"This is so perfect," Ryuuen murmured, voice muffled by Sai's satiny dress shirt.  He gave a thin laugh, then, clutching Sai more tightly.  "If people weren't trying to kill us, this would be the best thing that's ever happened to me."  There was a moment's pause, and then he shook his head, smiling through a fresh onslaught of tears.  "What am I saying?  This is still is the best thing that's ever happened to me.  Sai, thank you so much."

Relaxing into the warmth of Ryuuen's arms around him, Ryuuen's body pressing against his own, Sai leaned his cheek against the top of the other man's head and closed his eyes.  There was so much he wanted to say--details about the new house, nestled in a cozy neighborhood only a short drive from their current apartment, all the preparations they were going to have to make to receive this child, the fact that they were going to be late for Ryuuen's appointment if they didn't start driving again soon--but when he opened his mouth, none of that came out.  All that came out was a soft, "I love you."

He could feel Ryuuen's smile, brightening the air between them like a burst of sunlight.  "You'd better," he said softly.  "I'd feel pretty stupid for having married you if you didn't."

They sat like that for awhile longer, warm and silent, the rhythmic ticking of the four-way-flashers rising above even the roar of passing cars.  By the time they pulled out onto the road again, merging back into the flow of traffic, they were already late for Ryuuen's appointment.

~*~

"I-I can't believe you guys'll be leaving."  Hands clasped on the kitchen table, trembling against a white place-mat, Miaka stared tearfully at her two friends.  "It'll be so weird, not...not living with you anymore."

Eyebrows pushing upwards on his forehead, Ryuuen got up from his chair and circled the table, then leaned down to hug Miaka tightly.  "Miaka, it'll be okay," he told her softly.  "We'll just be five minutes down the road, ne?  That's not too far at all!  And you guys can come visit us whenever you want.  I'm sure we could use the help."  He laughed, then, drawing back from the girl and smiling down at her.  "You could even come stay with us for awhile!  There's a guest room, right, Sai?"

Seated at his normal place in the sunny kitchen, back to the stove, Sai nodded.  "There is," he said.  "Right next to ours, just like here."

Biting down on her quavering lower lip, Miaka managed a shaky smile.  "O-Okay.  I guess we could do that."  She drew a long, trembling breath.  "I...I just can't believe how fast everything is changing.  You're gonna have a little boy, and...and you're gonna move out, and--"  She shook her head, voice suddenly small.  "I just wish everything didn't have to change."

Ryuuen studied her for a moment, looking as if he might cry again himself, then dropped to his knees beside her.  Peering up into her face, he drew the girl's hand into his own and held it tightly; his free hand raised to wipe the tears from her cheeks, his lips twisting into a wavering smile.  "What I'm about to say," he said quietly, "is going to sound sappy and Lifetime-movieish, but...well, I have to say it anyway.  Miaka..."  He shook his head.  "Miaka, you will always be my sister, no matter how far away I go or whatever happens.  I mean, do you think it's an accident that we all found each other again in this life?  Do you think it's an accident that out of everywhere in the world, we would all somehow end up in the very same place and be friends?  It's not an accident.  It's not.  It's because we're a part of each other, and we always will be.  So, no matter if we move down the street or across the world, we'll always find each other again, because that's just how it's supposed to be."

"Oh, Ryu-chan," Miaka whispered, springing forward to hug him.  "You're right--"  A laugh bubbled up through her tears.  "--that was really sappy."

They were still laughing a short time later when Taka came through the door, muttering about short lunch hours and diminishing employee benefits, and the news was repeated for his benefit.  And although it was clear that he would miss them, too, there was a certain amount of relief to his voice as he said, "And you'll be moving...before you bring the boy home, right?"

~*~

Genrou and Juan had removed the broken door from the apartment the night before, depositing its remains in the dumpster out back.  Given their other engagements, neither Ryuuen nor Sai had gotten around to purchasing another door yet, so nothing but air separated the bathroom from the bedroom.  Even so, when the time came for he and Sai to dress for their meeting at the adoption agency, Ryuuen opted to dismiss modesty in favor of staying in the same room with Sai.  Houjun had assured him that, with his wards in place, none of the Seiryuu seishi would be slipping in unannounced again, but Ryuuen wasn't about to take any chances.

He'd nearly forgotten about the bruise on his shoulder; it still hurt a bit, mostly just when it was touched, but against everything else he had to think about, it seemed a small thing.  It wasn't until he'd drawn the shirt up over his head and heard Sai's gasp that he remembered it, and by then it was too late to hide it.

"Sweetheart, your shoulder!" Sai exclaimed, rushing to his side and frowning down at the bruise. 

Despite not hurting terribly much, it looked awful, a huge, mottled splotch of blue and purple that enveloped his upper arm.  Hand going automatically to the spot, despite the prick of pain it caused, Ryuuen stared up into Sai's eyes almost guiltily.  It still felt mildly strange, standing here with his shirt off, but Sai's shirt was off, too, lying in a pile on the floor, and somehow it didn't bother him as much this way.  Half-naked?  Yes.  Alone?  No.  Somehow, that made it a million times better.

"It's okay, Sai," he managed, trying to put as much reassurance into his voice as he could muster.  "It's just a bruise.  It doesn't even hurt that much."  He hesitated, then brought a hand up to the taller man's cheek, where Sai's own bruise was nothing but a slight lump beneath layers of concealer.  "I wasn't the one in danger yesterday, Sai.  You were.  I'm glad I have this bruise, because...because it means that I got out of there in time.  And it really doesn't hurt that much."

Sai studied him for a few moments, frowning and reluctant, then sighed.  His tense features relaxed somewhat, and he slid forward to wrap Ryuuen gently into his arms.  "You don't have to guard me like this, you know," he said softly.  "It may surprise you, but I can take care of myself."

Although it sent a tingle of pain down his arm, Ryuuen tightened his arms around the taller man's chest.  "I know," he murmured, "but it makes me feel better to stay near you."

Gently releasing Ryuuen from the embrace, Sai took a short step back and smiled.  "Well, as luck would have it, I enjoy your company very much, so you may stay near me for as long as you like.  However--"  His gaze flickered to the clock radio on the bedside table, and the smile grew suddenly wider.  "--we have to leave in ten minutes to go pick up--"  His voice trembled on the words.  "--our son...so, I'd say we should get dressed."

Trembling and smiling and thinking he might cry again, Ryuuen nodded and started to dig through the drawers for an appropriate outfit.  Sai did the same beside him, and after at least seven different possibilities were tried on and dismissed, they were finally dressed and ready to go.  Miaka and Taka saw them off, all of them a little tearful, and then the pair trooped downstairs and climbed into the Taurus. 

As he fastened his seatbelt, just tensing his muscles to slide the key into the ignition, Sai asked, "Are you nervous?"

Ryuuen, arms wrapped around his stomach, could only smile.  "I am," he said softly.  "But you know, I've never been so happy to feel like I was gonna throw up in my life."

Laughing, Sai started the car, and they were on their way.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

N O T E S:

I'm afraid I'm on a time limit at the moment, but I'd like to thank my reviewers for chapter 2:  Kei-chan, shadow priestess, Skittles, trixie, and yanagi-shuku.  Thank you so much, and my goodness, so many of you wrote long reviews!! ^____^.  ...and to answer your question, yanagi-shuku, Mouse-chan and I have known each other for a little under a year. ^_^.

Anyway, this story is clipping right along; I have a lot of plans for it, and the idea of Ryuuen and Sai having a kid and a nice little house in the suburbs is really getting me excited!! ^____^.  Soooo, anyway.  Hopefully I'll have more of this out soon, but until then, review!  I enjoy reviews. ^_~.