CHAPTER THREE- THE BATTLE
No Lion King, no VeggieTales no Spanish Inquistion. Who ARE you anyway?!?!
**I SHALL TELL YOU WHEN THE STORY IS DONE! NOW CONTINUE WE HAVE PEOPLE READING!**
We do?
**YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**
Oh! We do! Heh, heh. Where was it? Oh yes. Sirius and Aragorn glared each other down, both ready to fight. Harry and Frodo were glaring at each other, and Ron and Samwise were glaring at each other. The air was tense, and obviously there was going to be a fight. But who started it would shock everyone.
"I AM SO AN ELF!" Dobby flung himself at Legolas and bit his leg.
"AG!" Legolas shrieked and tried shaking the thing off of him but Dobby felt tight. This seemed to cue the other fights. No one was ever sure who dove first. Sirius or Aragorn but within nanoseconds the two were fighting. This cued Harry and Frodo to begin their little battle. Which forced Ron and Samwise into their battle.
"Go Harry and little bro!" Fred and George cheered.
"They're going to lose." Merry said.
"Of course." Pippin said. Fred and George looked at each other, and then tackled the two Hobbits. No one was ever sure when Dumbledore and Gandalf started fighting, but soon spells and curses were being shot at each other. On the side, Boromir, Gimli and Draco watched.
"Is that a real axe?" Draco asked Gimli.
"Of course it is."
"Cool, let me try it."
"It is no toy."
"I know. I want to try it."
"No."
"Yes." And so soon those two were fighting. Boromir sat back, and watching the battles. Over where the two old wizards dueled, bushes, rocks and trees were rapidly disappearing. Some turning into animals and running, hopping or flying away. Others were blown up. And others just... plain disappearing.
Meanwhile, over at Harry and Frodo's battle, both had disappeared. Harry using his Invisibility Cloak (that had appeared shortly before), and Frodo using the Ring of Power. You could see the occasional one falling and Boromir figured if you were invisible, you could see other invisible things.
Over where Ron and Samwise were having it out, Samwise had gotten a frying pan and Ron a pot and lid. He used the lid as a sort of shield, and the pot to bash against the frying pan.
Near by, Fred and Merry were duking it out, both totally missing the other. And George and Pippin were using firecrackers as sort of swords. George already had his firecracker with him but where Pippin got his, the world will never know.
Then Legolas was trying to fling Dobby off of him, but the house-elf was scrambling all over the real elf's body, biting him. Legolas often managed to hit him but not to grab. He contemplated using his arrows as small spears but didn't want to accidentally stab himself.
Then Draco and Gimli were fighting (the axe long forgotten). Draco kept pulling Gimli's beard taught and Gimli pulled Draco's hair. He kept shouting 'Not the beard!' whilst Draco screamed 'not my hair!'
And finally, Aragorn and Sirius's battle. Those were the two making the most. By the end of the battle they'd both be bloody and bruised.
All in all it was a humorous situation. Boromir, not having his own battle, just watched. After a while, a-
**YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ADD SOMETHING STUPID ARE YOU?!**
No!
**ARE YOU SURE?**
Yes!
"I think they should, it might lighten the mood and those guys might stop fighting." Boromir said.
**UM, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO IGNORE US.**
"How can I ignore a huge booming voice filling the entire valley?!" Boromir demanded.
**JUST IGNORE US.**
"You're a-a huge booming voice! I can't!"
**JUST IGNORE US!!! OR ELSE!**
"Or else WHAT?!" Boromir demanded. The battles were quieted as black clouds appeared and lightning hit the tree Boromir was by. Hey, that is mean!!!!
**I WARNED HIM!**
"Boromir! Are you fighting with the narrator?!" Aragorn shrieked.
He isn't the narrator. I am the narrator.
"Then who is he?" Aragorn asked.
"Good question, Aragorn. Who ARE you?" The battles stopped and they stared at the odd voice. I, the narrator, did too.
**I SHALL TELL YOU LATER. GO ON WITH YOUR BATTLES.**
"How can we in the middle of a storm?!" George demanded.
**OH. YES. SORRY.**
The clouds parted and the battles started again. And I continued narrating. See. I am narrating. After a while, a. a.
**A WHAT?**
Heh. A scarecrow, lion, tinman, girl and do-
**NO! NO! YOU PROMISED!**
No I didn't! I just said-
**NO WIZARD OF OZ!**
It isn't the Wizard. Its-
**NO!**
Okay FINE! After a while, the battles continued. Better?
**YES.**
Can I continue?
**YES.**
"Take. THAT!" Pippin smacked George upside the head with a large trout that had somehow appeared.
"Where'd you get that?" George asked.
"I don't know. Same place I got the firecracker I suppose." Pippin said with a slight shrug of his small hobbit shoulders.
"Say, you like firecrackers?" George asked.
"Of course. Back in the Shire, Merry and I were always getting into trouble." Pippin boasted.
"Say... imagine that. Back home Fred and I were total troublemakers. Still are."
"Wow!" The two sat down and began talking. Presently, Fred and Merry saw them and joined in.
"Look at those four." Gandalf said. Dumbledore lowered his wand.
"Maybe we could all get along."
"Yes." Gandalf said and turned to the other battles. "STOP!" He commanded. The battles froze. Harry and Frodo reappeared; Samwise had the frying pan an inch from Ron's head, who had his pot about to smash into Samwise's chest; Sirius had disappeared and there was now a dog biting Aragorn's leg. Gimli stopped pulling Draco's hair who in turn stopped pulling Gimli's beard. And Legolas finally caught Dobby and held him at arms length.
"We can all get along." Dumbledore said. There was a small pop and the dog disappeared and Sirius stood up.
"I guess we can."
"I suppose I shouldn't of accused you of being Sauron's spies." Aragorn said. Everyone made up to everyone else and since it was so late, the hobbits and Dobby cooked up a huge, huge dinner which everyone gladly ate.
No Lion King, no VeggieTales no Spanish Inquistion. Who ARE you anyway?!?!
**I SHALL TELL YOU WHEN THE STORY IS DONE! NOW CONTINUE WE HAVE PEOPLE READING!**
We do?
**YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**
Oh! We do! Heh, heh. Where was it? Oh yes. Sirius and Aragorn glared each other down, both ready to fight. Harry and Frodo were glaring at each other, and Ron and Samwise were glaring at each other. The air was tense, and obviously there was going to be a fight. But who started it would shock everyone.
"I AM SO AN ELF!" Dobby flung himself at Legolas and bit his leg.
"AG!" Legolas shrieked and tried shaking the thing off of him but Dobby felt tight. This seemed to cue the other fights. No one was ever sure who dove first. Sirius or Aragorn but within nanoseconds the two were fighting. This cued Harry and Frodo to begin their little battle. Which forced Ron and Samwise into their battle.
"Go Harry and little bro!" Fred and George cheered.
"They're going to lose." Merry said.
"Of course." Pippin said. Fred and George looked at each other, and then tackled the two Hobbits. No one was ever sure when Dumbledore and Gandalf started fighting, but soon spells and curses were being shot at each other. On the side, Boromir, Gimli and Draco watched.
"Is that a real axe?" Draco asked Gimli.
"Of course it is."
"Cool, let me try it."
"It is no toy."
"I know. I want to try it."
"No."
"Yes." And so soon those two were fighting. Boromir sat back, and watching the battles. Over where the two old wizards dueled, bushes, rocks and trees were rapidly disappearing. Some turning into animals and running, hopping or flying away. Others were blown up. And others just... plain disappearing.
Meanwhile, over at Harry and Frodo's battle, both had disappeared. Harry using his Invisibility Cloak (that had appeared shortly before), and Frodo using the Ring of Power. You could see the occasional one falling and Boromir figured if you were invisible, you could see other invisible things.
Over where Ron and Samwise were having it out, Samwise had gotten a frying pan and Ron a pot and lid. He used the lid as a sort of shield, and the pot to bash against the frying pan.
Near by, Fred and Merry were duking it out, both totally missing the other. And George and Pippin were using firecrackers as sort of swords. George already had his firecracker with him but where Pippin got his, the world will never know.
Then Legolas was trying to fling Dobby off of him, but the house-elf was scrambling all over the real elf's body, biting him. Legolas often managed to hit him but not to grab. He contemplated using his arrows as small spears but didn't want to accidentally stab himself.
Then Draco and Gimli were fighting (the axe long forgotten). Draco kept pulling Gimli's beard taught and Gimli pulled Draco's hair. He kept shouting 'Not the beard!' whilst Draco screamed 'not my hair!'
And finally, Aragorn and Sirius's battle. Those were the two making the most. By the end of the battle they'd both be bloody and bruised.
All in all it was a humorous situation. Boromir, not having his own battle, just watched. After a while, a-
**YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ADD SOMETHING STUPID ARE YOU?!**
No!
**ARE YOU SURE?**
Yes!
"I think they should, it might lighten the mood and those guys might stop fighting." Boromir said.
**UM, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO IGNORE US.**
"How can I ignore a huge booming voice filling the entire valley?!" Boromir demanded.
**JUST IGNORE US.**
"You're a-a huge booming voice! I can't!"
**JUST IGNORE US!!! OR ELSE!**
"Or else WHAT?!" Boromir demanded. The battles were quieted as black clouds appeared and lightning hit the tree Boromir was by. Hey, that is mean!!!!
**I WARNED HIM!**
"Boromir! Are you fighting with the narrator?!" Aragorn shrieked.
He isn't the narrator. I am the narrator.
"Then who is he?" Aragorn asked.
"Good question, Aragorn. Who ARE you?" The battles stopped and they stared at the odd voice. I, the narrator, did too.
**I SHALL TELL YOU LATER. GO ON WITH YOUR BATTLES.**
"How can we in the middle of a storm?!" George demanded.
**OH. YES. SORRY.**
The clouds parted and the battles started again. And I continued narrating. See. I am narrating. After a while, a. a.
**A WHAT?**
Heh. A scarecrow, lion, tinman, girl and do-
**NO! NO! YOU PROMISED!**
No I didn't! I just said-
**NO WIZARD OF OZ!**
It isn't the Wizard. Its-
**NO!**
Okay FINE! After a while, the battles continued. Better?
**YES.**
Can I continue?
**YES.**
"Take. THAT!" Pippin smacked George upside the head with a large trout that had somehow appeared.
"Where'd you get that?" George asked.
"I don't know. Same place I got the firecracker I suppose." Pippin said with a slight shrug of his small hobbit shoulders.
"Say, you like firecrackers?" George asked.
"Of course. Back in the Shire, Merry and I were always getting into trouble." Pippin boasted.
"Say... imagine that. Back home Fred and I were total troublemakers. Still are."
"Wow!" The two sat down and began talking. Presently, Fred and Merry saw them and joined in.
"Look at those four." Gandalf said. Dumbledore lowered his wand.
"Maybe we could all get along."
"Yes." Gandalf said and turned to the other battles. "STOP!" He commanded. The battles froze. Harry and Frodo reappeared; Samwise had the frying pan an inch from Ron's head, who had his pot about to smash into Samwise's chest; Sirius had disappeared and there was now a dog biting Aragorn's leg. Gimli stopped pulling Draco's hair who in turn stopped pulling Gimli's beard. And Legolas finally caught Dobby and held him at arms length.
"We can all get along." Dumbledore said. There was a small pop and the dog disappeared and Sirius stood up.
"I guess we can."
"I suppose I shouldn't of accused you of being Sauron's spies." Aragorn said. Everyone made up to everyone else and since it was so late, the hobbits and Dobby cooked up a huge, huge dinner which everyone gladly ate.