Trying To Cheat Fate.
By: Xiao-chan
Author's Note:
YAY. Trying to cheat fate is coming a success! I'm so happy about that.. heehee, and for that I've been typing a lot for each chapter each night (if it's possible.) and today on chapter five I have something else for you all at the end of the fiction, a poem I think fits Meiling very well and how she feels in this fiction, and how she feels toward Syaoran as well.
About chapter four, I forgot to say why she was going to commit suicide. So, here is another after note from Chapter four:
After Note (Another one from chapter four.):
You guys may be asking why Meiling would actually try to commit suicide over her baby. Why not abortion? It's actually simple if you read the text very closely. In the text I had meiling said she never wanted to be a mom. SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A MOM. Understand? Good.. Anyway, as I was saying she doesn't want an abortion because that'll kill the baby and then the chance of becoming pregnant is still a concern in the future. BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A MOM. So, the solution? Kill herself and the baby so it won't be a concern. Think about it, everyone.
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Chapter Five: A Fallen Angel.
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"Are you going to be all right, Meiling?" He could feel her breathing slowly falling down to quick and quiet gasps for air. Nearly thirty minutes of standing in the kitchen, holding Meiling while she hysterically confessed seemed to help the nineteen year old female calm down, while the other one tried to figure everything out.
"Syaoran, do I look like I'll be ALL RIGHT?" She had a point, too, after watching her try to commit suicide and ruin her, his, and the baby's life, how could he trust her? For all he knew, if he let her out of his sight for twetny minutes she WOULD commit suicide. Exactly opposite of what Syaoran wanted.
He could feel his legs began to feel limp and brought her over to the couch, sitting, while she still had been laying against him. He had ended up holding her like a baby in her lap, her head laying against his chest. Even with the placement of her body on his and the comforting Meiling continued to act almost normal. Most unlike the new depressive struck one he was learning to deal with.
Slowly her voice began to speak softly. It was like a melody, singing gently to him and her. So pure, so..indescribably beautiful in it's own way, even if she was talking and not singing it sounded like she was singing softly, something Syaoran had grown to love. A voice of an angel, it was a trait of Meiling, something you didn't hear from anyone else. "Syaoran, what I don't understand is," the long pause seemed to be a melody in it's own way anyway. "why you've just been there for me?" That question, seemed quite easy to answer in his mind, but to a suicidal nineteen year old pregnant female, he could understand why she asked it.
He pulled her left hand up and gently kissed the ring finger. "When I asked you to marry me, Mei, it was like a promise to me. Like I already said "I do,". It was a promise to be there for you when you needed me to the most, like now, to love and cherish you. I'm keeping the promise, and I'm planning on never ever breaking what I promised you. When I said "will you marry me?" and you said yes it was like me giving you all my love. I don't know if that exactly makes sense, but.."
Meiling turned his head to where her ruby eyes met his and smiled. A true smile, something he loved to see, something that brightened his day, and lit the way when the path was dark. Meiling, to him, was an angel in disquise, so pure, so lovely, and so very innocent. His angel, the one he'd help when her wings wouldn't work and she would fall. That was what he was doing now. She was like a fallen angel.
"I love you," the soft whispering ran through her sending soft rushes of warmth. She felt his touch gently lay on her stomach, but ignored and didn't push away.
"I love you," her voice repeated back, it holding it's own gentleness. She placed her hand on top of his, which had been laid on her stomach. He grinned, and kissed her gently on the cheek.
If only happiness could last like that forever..
----------
"You know that I'm here for you, right, Meiling?" He questioned her before sliding in to their bed. She had repeated, on her side. Syaoran's arm wrapped around her gently. She nodded gently in responce and shut her eyes slowly.
"Good. Remember I'm here for you, and I always be. Sweet dreams, Meiling," he took in one deep breath and began to go into a sleep.
Despite the nine o'clock atomisphere, Meiling could still barely see her own body. She had been staring deeply at the wrist she had tried to slit earlier today. She sighed and looked at the arm wrapped around her. It had been preventing her from escape. She looked at her wrist again, and gently used her nail to scrape at it, focing a little shot of pain to shoot through her system.
----------
It had been early when Meiling had finally awoke, it was still slightly dark. She turned slightly to find Syaoran had released her from his warm grip, and she was finally free to stand up and get out of the bedroom. And she did, making her down to the kitchen. She had set her hand on the drawer, pulling it open to find another silver blade.. Oh, the urge, she set her hand back on the clean black handle and paused. This time, she had time to think about what would happen to her and Syaoran.
"But.. Syaoran," she hesitated and looked desperatley at the blade.. So clean and deadly, it could kill her if she used it.. But then again, there was always the after shock. What would happen to everyone else? "Syaoran.. Syaoran. My Syaoran," she glanced back down at it once again. "I.. can't," she pulled her hand out quickly and slammed the drawer back to it's closed position, sending a loud Syaoran waking noise through out the house.
She stumbled and walked backwards, going against the counter, then sliding to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest, while her slender arms wrapped around her. "What are you doing, Meiling?" She questioned herself. "Have you finally lost your sanity? Suicide? Why can't you get some HELP!? Suicide is just a permant answer to a non permanent problem.
"I can't do it. I shouldn't of tried in the first place, now you need it like it's a drug your additced to.. To see the blood run down your wrist and to feel as if the pain is slowly easing. You need to stop," she held her wrist and began to stare at her feet. "Stop it, Mei--"
"Meiling..?" The long pause was held. She didn't want to answer. She knew it was Syaoran, who else could it be? She avoided eye contact, sighing and continuing to sit quietly and still. She was a fallen angel, and she couldn't get up.
"I didn't do anything, Syaoran."
"Meiling," she could somehow feel his eyes darting from her to the closed drawers which lined their kitchen. There was no silver blade, no blood on her or anywhere else for the matter. The whole thought of her cutting herself had vanished instantly from his mind and had been replaced with concern. "What happened?" He moved to her side and knelt near her.
She put her face in her knees to hide her tears. "I'm fine, Syaoran," she turned her head so it would face the opposite side of him. He blinked, still a bit confused on why she had been refusing to look him into the eyes.
"Meiling, look at me," he gently slid his hand under her chin and tugged it toward him. She hesitated at first but then gave up and did as told, coming face to face with him. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"I, you, see, and, you.. I was," she paused, shifting in her place. "I went into the kitchen and I was going to," she paused for a long moment. "you know with a knife, and I put it back in and slammed the drawer." She could feel his eyes darting away from hers and back to her wrist. "I just--"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm.. fine, Syaoran," she moved quietly to her feet, looking at him then quickly looking away so he wouldn't see another tear running down her face. "I'm fine."
----------
Keep your eyes upon me
Keep me in your sight
Help me down the crooked road
Lead me to the light
The road I'm on is dark
I'm not sure I know the way
But with you beside me
I know I will not stray
Protect me from the world I'm in
I'm certain we'll make it through
Let me hold your hand
Let me lean on you.
~Lissa Barker
----------
After Note:
Well. enjoying? I hope sooo! And there is the poem I promised you. Doesn't it sound like Meiling? I really thought it did, and I simply had to post it. :x I think I have another poem for the next chapter. Well.. that's all for now? Keep reviewing, I love it when you review! AND NO FLAMES. Thanks.
By: Xiao-chan
Author's Note:
YAY. Trying to cheat fate is coming a success! I'm so happy about that.. heehee, and for that I've been typing a lot for each chapter each night (if it's possible.) and today on chapter five I have something else for you all at the end of the fiction, a poem I think fits Meiling very well and how she feels in this fiction, and how she feels toward Syaoran as well.
About chapter four, I forgot to say why she was going to commit suicide. So, here is another after note from Chapter four:
After Note (Another one from chapter four.):
You guys may be asking why Meiling would actually try to commit suicide over her baby. Why not abortion? It's actually simple if you read the text very closely. In the text I had meiling said she never wanted to be a mom. SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A MOM. Understand? Good.. Anyway, as I was saying she doesn't want an abortion because that'll kill the baby and then the chance of becoming pregnant is still a concern in the future. BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A MOM. So, the solution? Kill herself and the baby so it won't be a concern. Think about it, everyone.
----------
Chapter Five: A Fallen Angel.
----------
"Are you going to be all right, Meiling?" He could feel her breathing slowly falling down to quick and quiet gasps for air. Nearly thirty minutes of standing in the kitchen, holding Meiling while she hysterically confessed seemed to help the nineteen year old female calm down, while the other one tried to figure everything out.
"Syaoran, do I look like I'll be ALL RIGHT?" She had a point, too, after watching her try to commit suicide and ruin her, his, and the baby's life, how could he trust her? For all he knew, if he let her out of his sight for twetny minutes she WOULD commit suicide. Exactly opposite of what Syaoran wanted.
He could feel his legs began to feel limp and brought her over to the couch, sitting, while she still had been laying against him. He had ended up holding her like a baby in her lap, her head laying against his chest. Even with the placement of her body on his and the comforting Meiling continued to act almost normal. Most unlike the new depressive struck one he was learning to deal with.
Slowly her voice began to speak softly. It was like a melody, singing gently to him and her. So pure, so..indescribably beautiful in it's own way, even if she was talking and not singing it sounded like she was singing softly, something Syaoran had grown to love. A voice of an angel, it was a trait of Meiling, something you didn't hear from anyone else. "Syaoran, what I don't understand is," the long pause seemed to be a melody in it's own way anyway. "why you've just been there for me?" That question, seemed quite easy to answer in his mind, but to a suicidal nineteen year old pregnant female, he could understand why she asked it.
He pulled her left hand up and gently kissed the ring finger. "When I asked you to marry me, Mei, it was like a promise to me. Like I already said "I do,". It was a promise to be there for you when you needed me to the most, like now, to love and cherish you. I'm keeping the promise, and I'm planning on never ever breaking what I promised you. When I said "will you marry me?" and you said yes it was like me giving you all my love. I don't know if that exactly makes sense, but.."
Meiling turned his head to where her ruby eyes met his and smiled. A true smile, something he loved to see, something that brightened his day, and lit the way when the path was dark. Meiling, to him, was an angel in disquise, so pure, so lovely, and so very innocent. His angel, the one he'd help when her wings wouldn't work and she would fall. That was what he was doing now. She was like a fallen angel.
"I love you," the soft whispering ran through her sending soft rushes of warmth. She felt his touch gently lay on her stomach, but ignored and didn't push away.
"I love you," her voice repeated back, it holding it's own gentleness. She placed her hand on top of his, which had been laid on her stomach. He grinned, and kissed her gently on the cheek.
If only happiness could last like that forever..
----------
"You know that I'm here for you, right, Meiling?" He questioned her before sliding in to their bed. She had repeated, on her side. Syaoran's arm wrapped around her gently. She nodded gently in responce and shut her eyes slowly.
"Good. Remember I'm here for you, and I always be. Sweet dreams, Meiling," he took in one deep breath and began to go into a sleep.
Despite the nine o'clock atomisphere, Meiling could still barely see her own body. She had been staring deeply at the wrist she had tried to slit earlier today. She sighed and looked at the arm wrapped around her. It had been preventing her from escape. She looked at her wrist again, and gently used her nail to scrape at it, focing a little shot of pain to shoot through her system.
----------
It had been early when Meiling had finally awoke, it was still slightly dark. She turned slightly to find Syaoran had released her from his warm grip, and she was finally free to stand up and get out of the bedroom. And she did, making her down to the kitchen. She had set her hand on the drawer, pulling it open to find another silver blade.. Oh, the urge, she set her hand back on the clean black handle and paused. This time, she had time to think about what would happen to her and Syaoran.
"But.. Syaoran," she hesitated and looked desperatley at the blade.. So clean and deadly, it could kill her if she used it.. But then again, there was always the after shock. What would happen to everyone else? "Syaoran.. Syaoran. My Syaoran," she glanced back down at it once again. "I.. can't," she pulled her hand out quickly and slammed the drawer back to it's closed position, sending a loud Syaoran waking noise through out the house.
She stumbled and walked backwards, going against the counter, then sliding to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest, while her slender arms wrapped around her. "What are you doing, Meiling?" She questioned herself. "Have you finally lost your sanity? Suicide? Why can't you get some HELP!? Suicide is just a permant answer to a non permanent problem.
"I can't do it. I shouldn't of tried in the first place, now you need it like it's a drug your additced to.. To see the blood run down your wrist and to feel as if the pain is slowly easing. You need to stop," she held her wrist and began to stare at her feet. "Stop it, Mei--"
"Meiling..?" The long pause was held. She didn't want to answer. She knew it was Syaoran, who else could it be? She avoided eye contact, sighing and continuing to sit quietly and still. She was a fallen angel, and she couldn't get up.
"I didn't do anything, Syaoran."
"Meiling," she could somehow feel his eyes darting from her to the closed drawers which lined their kitchen. There was no silver blade, no blood on her or anywhere else for the matter. The whole thought of her cutting herself had vanished instantly from his mind and had been replaced with concern. "What happened?" He moved to her side and knelt near her.
She put her face in her knees to hide her tears. "I'm fine, Syaoran," she turned her head so it would face the opposite side of him. He blinked, still a bit confused on why she had been refusing to look him into the eyes.
"Meiling, look at me," he gently slid his hand under her chin and tugged it toward him. She hesitated at first but then gave up and did as told, coming face to face with him. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"I, you, see, and, you.. I was," she paused, shifting in her place. "I went into the kitchen and I was going to," she paused for a long moment. "you know with a knife, and I put it back in and slammed the drawer." She could feel his eyes darting away from hers and back to her wrist. "I just--"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm.. fine, Syaoran," she moved quietly to her feet, looking at him then quickly looking away so he wouldn't see another tear running down her face. "I'm fine."
----------
Keep your eyes upon me
Keep me in your sight
Help me down the crooked road
Lead me to the light
The road I'm on is dark
I'm not sure I know the way
But with you beside me
I know I will not stray
Protect me from the world I'm in
I'm certain we'll make it through
Let me hold your hand
Let me lean on you.
~Lissa Barker
----------
After Note:
Well. enjoying? I hope sooo! And there is the poem I promised you. Doesn't it sound like Meiling? I really thought it did, and I simply had to post it. :x I think I have another poem for the next chapter. Well.. that's all for now? Keep reviewing, I love it when you review! AND NO FLAMES. Thanks.