Trying To Cheat Fate
By: Xiao-chan
Author's Note:
Been a long time. Hello everyone! I'm back. I actually did a little bit of research on
pregnancy and decided the week Meiling is on. Thank you so much to wispykitty for the
advice. Also, only one more thing: I'll try to be focusing on Meiling and Eriol in the very
beginning.
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Chapter Seven: Opinions.
----------
"Any where you'd like to start this time, Meiling?" Eriol's voice rose as he looked up from his notebook. He had just finished writing the date under the last entry he had made.
"No," Eriol paused waiting just a moment to see if she decided to change her mind, then focus everything around that one topic. She didn't.
"All right, Meiling. I have a question, if you don't mind."
Meiling turned herself to not face him, her ruby eyes gently scanning the walls for anything that might be considered a 'mess up'. Any scratches, anything at all that she could focus her full attention on. Anything at all to take her mind of Eriol and his trying to 'help' her.
"Why don't you want your baby?"
She began to scan the walls faster. This was exactly the question she hoped that he never would ask her. How could she actually put her answer into.. words? She just didn't want the baby. Simple, right?
Wrong.
"I'm no exactly mommy material. Nineteen years old. What exactly do you expect of me? I'm YOUNG and I shouldn't have to throw away the good things in life so I can mature with this child of mine," she finally replied softly and quickly.
"But to cut yourself over it, Meiling?"
"I only did it once," she stated as she began to curl herself into a relaxed ball.
"Once is one too much."
"What would YOU know about it? I don't expect you to get pregnant at nineteen years old!" The room went silent after her outburst, and finally there was a gently noise of a pen scribbling across a pad of notebook paper. Eriol's notebook that he took notes on. Notes about her. Notes about Meiling Li.
Finally that silenced, then the noise of something being pushed across the carpet towards her. She turned slightly and looked down at it, a box of tissues. She quietly snatched one and folded it in her hands, knowing it would be useful sometime during this session.
"So, Eriol, can I ask you a question?"
"Yes, you can, if you want."
"Why do you think I cut myself that one time?"
----------
Pace. Pace. Pace. The hallway was filled with the sound of Syaoran's shoes squeaking against the floor as he paced the hallway slowly. It had been nearly fifteen minutes since Meiling had entered Eriol Hiiragizawa's office and he had been pacing nervously for the whole time.
Eventually he had come to a complete stop and starred at the clock above the door
down the hall. The time seemed to be slowly. Tick.....tick........tick..........tick...................t...i...c...k. He only wished that that session would end quickly, so he could see if he had helped her any. Even at times, he wanted to burst into that room, but, of course, he couldn't.
He began to count the weeks with his fingers. One finger ment one week, two fingers ment two weeks, and three fingers ment three ways, and so on. He had finally paused on the second finger, on his left hand. It had been seven weeks. Meiling had been pregnant with a baby for seven weeks.
----------
"Actually, there is many different reasons for cutting. For you, I would say, that I think that you cut yourself because you are nervous."
"What do you mean. How am I nervous?"
"Nervous about what would happen if you gave birth to your baby. What your life would turn into with it."
She could finally feel a tear slide down her cheek, and gently wiped her eyes with the end of the tissue to get rid of it. She went silent for a few minutes, trying to clear her head of all her thoughts. "Can we change the subject, please?" Her voice seemed unusually quiet and soft, almost like it was hurt.
He again jotted another note onto his notebook paper. "Of course we can change the subject. What would you like to talk about?"
"..Syaoran."
"Your fiancee?"
"My baby's father. Yes, him."
"All right."
"You know, sometimes I think it's his fault for all of this. That's his fault that I'm stuck in this world with this baby. I mean, sometimes I hate him for it," Eriol gently leaned forward in his chair, setting his pen down to hear her speak more. "But then again, there is those times that I'm glad he's there for me. Like when I had that blade, he came back in and stopped me from cutting myself," she paused and a smile gently curled to her lips. "He comforted me while I broke down and cried.
"Sometimes I'm actually wanting to keep this baby. It's like one single second that I want to have it, but then I don't. Sometimes I want to ask him if he wants me to have this baby, but I don't."
"Why don't you ask him, Meiling?"
"I don't know."
"All right. Well, good job today, Meiling. Time is up. I hope you'll be here next week," Meiling gently nodded and used her tissue to dry her tears one last time, the finally turned over to look at him. "If you have any problems, please, call me," again she nodded. Slowly standing up she made her way to the door and exited.
----------
"What did you guys talk about?" Syaoran asked as he slipped himself into their bed, in his normal spot next to hers. Again she turned so her back was facing him.
"Nothing," she mumbled quietly. "Nothing really important, Syaoran."
"All right, if you say so," he replied back in the same tone. He moved a bit closer and gently placed a kiss on her cheek, hoping to death that it wouldn't make her uncomfortable. "Sweet dreams, Mei," he moved back to his spot and closed his eyes.
A few minutes passed, the couple still laying in their spots awake, wide awake.
"I told him that sometimes I blame you for it.. Syaoran?" She whispered, flipping sides to face him. She gently tapped him. "Are you awake?"
"Yes, Mei?"
"I told him that," she began to stumble with the right words. She felt like crying again but held them back, knowing this was important and that it was going to be hard to take, harder if she broke down crying like she did everytime. "that..that.. I thought that sometimes this was your fault. I said that sometimes I want to hate you for doing this to me.."
Syaoran seemed to skip a heart beat hearing that. He gently pulled himself into a sitting position, looking at Meiling through the darkness. He wanted to tell her it was HER fault, but he couldn't, no matter how much those words hurt him, no matter how many times it felt like those words were stabbing him, he couldn't argue back to her. "Hate me for doing this to you," his voice trailed off, repeating part of what she had said to him. "Meiling--"
"I also said that I'm glad you're there for me, that I know it was my fault. Syaoran, I'm.. sorry," she forced the words out, trying to make sure they didn't sound as hurtful at they actually were. "Sorry," she repeated, turning back again. He slowly laid back down, but scooted closer to her, setting an arm around her, and his hand softly joining in hers.
"Don't be sorry, Mei," he knew that what she had told him was REALLY hurtful, but he really couldn't hold it against her. This was something too serious, and arguing would add to it. His fingers gently rubbed against her.
Another few minutes of silence passed.
"Syaoran?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you want me to have this baby?" His fingers instantly stopped rubbing against hers. She could again feel those tears threatening to drench her face again, but held them back. She gently bit her lower lip trying to hold everything in at one time.
----------
After Note:
Hmmm.. like? Maybe better then the last chapters? I HOPE so.
By: Xiao-chan
Author's Note:
Been a long time. Hello everyone! I'm back. I actually did a little bit of research on
pregnancy and decided the week Meiling is on. Thank you so much to wispykitty for the
advice. Also, only one more thing: I'll try to be focusing on Meiling and Eriol in the very
beginning.
----------
Chapter Seven: Opinions.
----------
"Any where you'd like to start this time, Meiling?" Eriol's voice rose as he looked up from his notebook. He had just finished writing the date under the last entry he had made.
"No," Eriol paused waiting just a moment to see if she decided to change her mind, then focus everything around that one topic. She didn't.
"All right, Meiling. I have a question, if you don't mind."
Meiling turned herself to not face him, her ruby eyes gently scanning the walls for anything that might be considered a 'mess up'. Any scratches, anything at all that she could focus her full attention on. Anything at all to take her mind of Eriol and his trying to 'help' her.
"Why don't you want your baby?"
She began to scan the walls faster. This was exactly the question she hoped that he never would ask her. How could she actually put her answer into.. words? She just didn't want the baby. Simple, right?
Wrong.
"I'm no exactly mommy material. Nineteen years old. What exactly do you expect of me? I'm YOUNG and I shouldn't have to throw away the good things in life so I can mature with this child of mine," she finally replied softly and quickly.
"But to cut yourself over it, Meiling?"
"I only did it once," she stated as she began to curl herself into a relaxed ball.
"Once is one too much."
"What would YOU know about it? I don't expect you to get pregnant at nineteen years old!" The room went silent after her outburst, and finally there was a gently noise of a pen scribbling across a pad of notebook paper. Eriol's notebook that he took notes on. Notes about her. Notes about Meiling Li.
Finally that silenced, then the noise of something being pushed across the carpet towards her. She turned slightly and looked down at it, a box of tissues. She quietly snatched one and folded it in her hands, knowing it would be useful sometime during this session.
"So, Eriol, can I ask you a question?"
"Yes, you can, if you want."
"Why do you think I cut myself that one time?"
----------
Pace. Pace. Pace. The hallway was filled with the sound of Syaoran's shoes squeaking against the floor as he paced the hallway slowly. It had been nearly fifteen minutes since Meiling had entered Eriol Hiiragizawa's office and he had been pacing nervously for the whole time.
Eventually he had come to a complete stop and starred at the clock above the door
down the hall. The time seemed to be slowly. Tick.....tick........tick..........tick...................t...i...c...k. He only wished that that session would end quickly, so he could see if he had helped her any. Even at times, he wanted to burst into that room, but, of course, he couldn't.
He began to count the weeks with his fingers. One finger ment one week, two fingers ment two weeks, and three fingers ment three ways, and so on. He had finally paused on the second finger, on his left hand. It had been seven weeks. Meiling had been pregnant with a baby for seven weeks.
----------
"Actually, there is many different reasons for cutting. For you, I would say, that I think that you cut yourself because you are nervous."
"What do you mean. How am I nervous?"
"Nervous about what would happen if you gave birth to your baby. What your life would turn into with it."
She could finally feel a tear slide down her cheek, and gently wiped her eyes with the end of the tissue to get rid of it. She went silent for a few minutes, trying to clear her head of all her thoughts. "Can we change the subject, please?" Her voice seemed unusually quiet and soft, almost like it was hurt.
He again jotted another note onto his notebook paper. "Of course we can change the subject. What would you like to talk about?"
"..Syaoran."
"Your fiancee?"
"My baby's father. Yes, him."
"All right."
"You know, sometimes I think it's his fault for all of this. That's his fault that I'm stuck in this world with this baby. I mean, sometimes I hate him for it," Eriol gently leaned forward in his chair, setting his pen down to hear her speak more. "But then again, there is those times that I'm glad he's there for me. Like when I had that blade, he came back in and stopped me from cutting myself," she paused and a smile gently curled to her lips. "He comforted me while I broke down and cried.
"Sometimes I'm actually wanting to keep this baby. It's like one single second that I want to have it, but then I don't. Sometimes I want to ask him if he wants me to have this baby, but I don't."
"Why don't you ask him, Meiling?"
"I don't know."
"All right. Well, good job today, Meiling. Time is up. I hope you'll be here next week," Meiling gently nodded and used her tissue to dry her tears one last time, the finally turned over to look at him. "If you have any problems, please, call me," again she nodded. Slowly standing up she made her way to the door and exited.
----------
"What did you guys talk about?" Syaoran asked as he slipped himself into their bed, in his normal spot next to hers. Again she turned so her back was facing him.
"Nothing," she mumbled quietly. "Nothing really important, Syaoran."
"All right, if you say so," he replied back in the same tone. He moved a bit closer and gently placed a kiss on her cheek, hoping to death that it wouldn't make her uncomfortable. "Sweet dreams, Mei," he moved back to his spot and closed his eyes.
A few minutes passed, the couple still laying in their spots awake, wide awake.
"I told him that sometimes I blame you for it.. Syaoran?" She whispered, flipping sides to face him. She gently tapped him. "Are you awake?"
"Yes, Mei?"
"I told him that," she began to stumble with the right words. She felt like crying again but held them back, knowing this was important and that it was going to be hard to take, harder if she broke down crying like she did everytime. "that..that.. I thought that sometimes this was your fault. I said that sometimes I want to hate you for doing this to me.."
Syaoran seemed to skip a heart beat hearing that. He gently pulled himself into a sitting position, looking at Meiling through the darkness. He wanted to tell her it was HER fault, but he couldn't, no matter how much those words hurt him, no matter how many times it felt like those words were stabbing him, he couldn't argue back to her. "Hate me for doing this to you," his voice trailed off, repeating part of what she had said to him. "Meiling--"
"I also said that I'm glad you're there for me, that I know it was my fault. Syaoran, I'm.. sorry," she forced the words out, trying to make sure they didn't sound as hurtful at they actually were. "Sorry," she repeated, turning back again. He slowly laid back down, but scooted closer to her, setting an arm around her, and his hand softly joining in hers.
"Don't be sorry, Mei," he knew that what she had told him was REALLY hurtful, but he really couldn't hold it against her. This was something too serious, and arguing would add to it. His fingers gently rubbed against her.
Another few minutes of silence passed.
"Syaoran?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you want me to have this baby?" His fingers instantly stopped rubbing against hers. She could again feel those tears threatening to drench her face again, but held them back. She gently bit her lower lip trying to hold everything in at one time.
----------
After Note:
Hmmm.. like? Maybe better then the last chapters? I HOPE so.