Little Noodle Boy Goes to Skool
By Nightmare Kitty
No one much cared, but Happy Noodle Boy wasn't always the big, annoying street preacher noodle. He was once a little annoying schoolboy noodle. He went to Noodle Akademy, filled with many others just like him. or not.
"Suck my cheese! You have NO idea what it's like to be a Ritz Bitz sandwich! Je veut un orginal super cool! Ecoute de mon mechant poisson!" Happy (we'll call characters by their first name in this story) screeched.
"Very good, little squirrel. You will not have to face my spooky cabbage of evil doom today. Here is your soda." The teacher hands Happy a soda, and he swallows the entire can.
In the back of the room, some MEAN noodles sat and talked all MEAN-LIKE about Happy.
"HAPPY IS NEVER HAPPY! Some giant chairs must have come from the sky and abducted his large bag of acorns!" said one, named Popular Noodle Girl.
"My lunch bag says yes! Happy has a large toenail that makes him fish food!" responded another, Britney Noodle Girl.
"No cheeze-wiz about it! Happy is a dumb peanut." the third, Bitchy Noodle Girl, agreed.
Hearing this, Happy stomped over to them and yelled, "May you have cheerios shoved up your pancreas! Have you no respect for my creepy butthole filled with moosey goodness? Suffer as I play pop music backwards, producing subliminal messages of doom which will hypnotize you into sucking out your eardrums!"
They stared for a moment until Bitchy responded, "You are SUCH a marmot."
Happy gasped. "HOW?! HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MARMOTMAN?! His secret identity is hidden behind a mask of true sporkiness! Dunna-dunna-dunna-dunna MARMOTMAN!"
Popular responded, "What a bean burrito he is."
"BEANS, BEANS, THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOUR HEART! THE MORE YOU EAT THE MORE YOU FART! THE MORE YOU FART THE TASTIER YOUR PISS SO THE POWER OF BEANS MAY YOU NEVER DISMISS!" countered Happy.
After his rendering of the dirty rhyme, the bell rang, and all the young noodles filed into the cafeteria. The lunch noodle yelled "Attention all you spaghetti strings! Our food service of foody doom brings you loads of barbecued reindeer, plastic on a stick and chocolate covered paper! Eat or face my flying chicken-monkeys of evil!"
"Yum. Plastic." thought Happy. He shoved his way through the lunch line, ignoring all who told him not to cut, and yelled at the cafeteria lady, "OH, FOODMASTER! SUPPLY ME WITH MY RUDOLPH MEAT AND SYNTHETIC MATERIAL SHISHKABOB! GIVE ME MY PAPERY DESSERT!" And that she did.
"What a nice pumpkin," she beamed as he paid and went to sit at his table. He started to read from his textbook, titled: "How to Survive Gunshot Wounds From Annoyed People." Getting Shot was his hardest subject, as he always died in practice rants from some asshole with a gun. He already had an F in the class, meaning "Fucked for life" in the Akademy's grading system. If he wanted to be an effective street preacher, he would have to survive the gun wounds, NOT just reanimate twenty minutes after being shot. His eyes widened at the sudden thought. "HOLY COOKIE! THE TEST OF DEATHY TESTING IS COMING! I AM NOT A HAPPY TISSUE!" he yelled out loud, realizing Getting Shot was his next class.
"FREAK!" yelled Britney from across the cafeteria.
To be continued. will Happy pass his Getting Shot exam? Will the mean noodles stop being all mean and stuff? WHAT IS WITH MARMOTMAN?! Find out next chapter.
By Nightmare Kitty
No one much cared, but Happy Noodle Boy wasn't always the big, annoying street preacher noodle. He was once a little annoying schoolboy noodle. He went to Noodle Akademy, filled with many others just like him. or not.
"Suck my cheese! You have NO idea what it's like to be a Ritz Bitz sandwich! Je veut un orginal super cool! Ecoute de mon mechant poisson!" Happy (we'll call characters by their first name in this story) screeched.
"Very good, little squirrel. You will not have to face my spooky cabbage of evil doom today. Here is your soda." The teacher hands Happy a soda, and he swallows the entire can.
In the back of the room, some MEAN noodles sat and talked all MEAN-LIKE about Happy.
"HAPPY IS NEVER HAPPY! Some giant chairs must have come from the sky and abducted his large bag of acorns!" said one, named Popular Noodle Girl.
"My lunch bag says yes! Happy has a large toenail that makes him fish food!" responded another, Britney Noodle Girl.
"No cheeze-wiz about it! Happy is a dumb peanut." the third, Bitchy Noodle Girl, agreed.
Hearing this, Happy stomped over to them and yelled, "May you have cheerios shoved up your pancreas! Have you no respect for my creepy butthole filled with moosey goodness? Suffer as I play pop music backwards, producing subliminal messages of doom which will hypnotize you into sucking out your eardrums!"
They stared for a moment until Bitchy responded, "You are SUCH a marmot."
Happy gasped. "HOW?! HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MARMOTMAN?! His secret identity is hidden behind a mask of true sporkiness! Dunna-dunna-dunna-dunna MARMOTMAN!"
Popular responded, "What a bean burrito he is."
"BEANS, BEANS, THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOUR HEART! THE MORE YOU EAT THE MORE YOU FART! THE MORE YOU FART THE TASTIER YOUR PISS SO THE POWER OF BEANS MAY YOU NEVER DISMISS!" countered Happy.
After his rendering of the dirty rhyme, the bell rang, and all the young noodles filed into the cafeteria. The lunch noodle yelled "Attention all you spaghetti strings! Our food service of foody doom brings you loads of barbecued reindeer, plastic on a stick and chocolate covered paper! Eat or face my flying chicken-monkeys of evil!"
"Yum. Plastic." thought Happy. He shoved his way through the lunch line, ignoring all who told him not to cut, and yelled at the cafeteria lady, "OH, FOODMASTER! SUPPLY ME WITH MY RUDOLPH MEAT AND SYNTHETIC MATERIAL SHISHKABOB! GIVE ME MY PAPERY DESSERT!" And that she did.
"What a nice pumpkin," she beamed as he paid and went to sit at his table. He started to read from his textbook, titled: "How to Survive Gunshot Wounds From Annoyed People." Getting Shot was his hardest subject, as he always died in practice rants from some asshole with a gun. He already had an F in the class, meaning "Fucked for life" in the Akademy's grading system. If he wanted to be an effective street preacher, he would have to survive the gun wounds, NOT just reanimate twenty minutes after being shot. His eyes widened at the sudden thought. "HOLY COOKIE! THE TEST OF DEATHY TESTING IS COMING! I AM NOT A HAPPY TISSUE!" he yelled out loud, realizing Getting Shot was his next class.
"FREAK!" yelled Britney from across the cafeteria.
To be continued. will Happy pass his Getting Shot exam? Will the mean noodles stop being all mean and stuff? WHAT IS WITH MARMOTMAN?! Find out next chapter.