Little Noodle Boy at Skool
Part Five
The rest of the finals went by fast. Now only one last final remained. Ranting. Since their victory in Getting Shot, Happy and Gothic had continued to study with each other. They composed their rants together, and recited them for each other.
"How's this, fried monkey fur? Ahem. 'MR. NOTEBOOK, TASTE MY SCISSORS! THE BURN, THE SCISSORY BURN! FEEL IT, AND SUCK MY DOORKNOB! WATCH LUCKY CHARMS COMMERCIALS AND PUKE! HAMSTER BOY TO THE RESCUE! NO, CHOCOLATE SHAKE, DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!'"
"Eh, not great. Here goes mine! "SMELL THE EVIL JELLO! STUFFED WITH TACQUITO-Y GOODNESS! WATCH ME AS I WHACK YOU WITH SPORKS AND BENDY STRAWS!'"
"Okay. But we both need work, rancid pork chop!"
The next day came too soon. Ms. Magic Dooky watched, bored, as they filed into class. Stupid slacking food sticks, all of them. She explained the rules, as none of them seemed ever to learn.
"HAPPY! COME UP HERE, NOW!"
"Ah-hem. 'LICK THE PLASTIC, TOMMY! LICK THE PLASTIC! I USE SPOOKY VOODOO POWERS TO ENHANCE THE PAPERY GOODNESS! I FOLLOW MY BUTT, WHEREVER IT STRUTS! SET YOUR ANTENNAE ON FIRE, YOU DUMB INSECT FUCKS! I SMELL YOUR DOG'S ASS!"
"Very good, Happy. A-. GOTHIC! You will come up, you miserable piñata stuffing!"
"OH, GREAT PAIN OF THE INTESTINAL GAS, I BOW TO THEE! THE FARTS OF MIGHTY STINK, MAY THE DOOM THEY WREAK BE INCREDIBLE! HOPE IS LOST AS SHIT OF SQUIRREL FLOODS THE WORLD! OH, THE SQUIRRELLY SICKNESS OF THAT!"
"Good, carpet droppings! A!"
The others didn't fare too well. Most got, at best, C-s. They were sad little cabbages.
Speaking of spotted pigs, their graduation ceremony was next week. Gothic was Most Incredible Ranting Fish Stick (translation: valedictorian), while Happy was Magnificent Talking Dooky Bag (Magna Cum Laud, or whatever that is. I don't know).
"AND IN FINISH," Concluded Gothic in his speech, "BECOME HAPPY LITTLE TALKING CHURROS! SLUSHIES MAY BLESS YOU!" The parents, teachers and most of the kids cheered, the loudest being Happy. Britney, Popular and Bitchy sat in the back and pouted.
Happy, well, you all know how he ended up. Still ranting on the streets. Gothic, for his mastering the art of street preaching, was sent to a defective head meat institute, but escaped to a country more tolerant of insanity. I don't know where. Britney, Popular, Bitchy and the other popular noodles worked at Super Boring, Inc., the noodle world's big corporation. They will certainly never star in a comic strip of their own.
THE END!
Part Five
The rest of the finals went by fast. Now only one last final remained. Ranting. Since their victory in Getting Shot, Happy and Gothic had continued to study with each other. They composed their rants together, and recited them for each other.
"How's this, fried monkey fur? Ahem. 'MR. NOTEBOOK, TASTE MY SCISSORS! THE BURN, THE SCISSORY BURN! FEEL IT, AND SUCK MY DOORKNOB! WATCH LUCKY CHARMS COMMERCIALS AND PUKE! HAMSTER BOY TO THE RESCUE! NO, CHOCOLATE SHAKE, DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!'"
"Eh, not great. Here goes mine! "SMELL THE EVIL JELLO! STUFFED WITH TACQUITO-Y GOODNESS! WATCH ME AS I WHACK YOU WITH SPORKS AND BENDY STRAWS!'"
"Okay. But we both need work, rancid pork chop!"
The next day came too soon. Ms. Magic Dooky watched, bored, as they filed into class. Stupid slacking food sticks, all of them. She explained the rules, as none of them seemed ever to learn.
"HAPPY! COME UP HERE, NOW!"
"Ah-hem. 'LICK THE PLASTIC, TOMMY! LICK THE PLASTIC! I USE SPOOKY VOODOO POWERS TO ENHANCE THE PAPERY GOODNESS! I FOLLOW MY BUTT, WHEREVER IT STRUTS! SET YOUR ANTENNAE ON FIRE, YOU DUMB INSECT FUCKS! I SMELL YOUR DOG'S ASS!"
"Very good, Happy. A-. GOTHIC! You will come up, you miserable piñata stuffing!"
"OH, GREAT PAIN OF THE INTESTINAL GAS, I BOW TO THEE! THE FARTS OF MIGHTY STINK, MAY THE DOOM THEY WREAK BE INCREDIBLE! HOPE IS LOST AS SHIT OF SQUIRREL FLOODS THE WORLD! OH, THE SQUIRRELLY SICKNESS OF THAT!"
"Good, carpet droppings! A!"
The others didn't fare too well. Most got, at best, C-s. They were sad little cabbages.
Speaking of spotted pigs, their graduation ceremony was next week. Gothic was Most Incredible Ranting Fish Stick (translation: valedictorian), while Happy was Magnificent Talking Dooky Bag (Magna Cum Laud, or whatever that is. I don't know).
"AND IN FINISH," Concluded Gothic in his speech, "BECOME HAPPY LITTLE TALKING CHURROS! SLUSHIES MAY BLESS YOU!" The parents, teachers and most of the kids cheered, the loudest being Happy. Britney, Popular and Bitchy sat in the back and pouted.
Happy, well, you all know how he ended up. Still ranting on the streets. Gothic, for his mastering the art of street preaching, was sent to a defective head meat institute, but escaped to a country more tolerant of insanity. I don't know where. Britney, Popular, Bitchy and the other popular noodles worked at Super Boring, Inc., the noodle world's big corporation. They will certainly never star in a comic strip of their own.
THE END!