AN: A short fic that I blame entirely on my friend Ms. Prongs. She sent me
some funny moments from a fic and this ideal suddenly struck me. At first I
though this was going to be major sappy then slowly it turned into being
funny. *smirks* So here you all are. I think it's funny but then again
that's my humor. So see ya at the end!
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I don't own Harry Potter which belongs to J. K. Rowling and others. Please no suing.
Slapped!
By Wyltk
"HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRESS ROBES!" Harry swallowed his laughter as his godfather marched towards him. His eyes and posture were screaming murder but Harry decided to push just a bit more.
"Now, Now Paw-Paw!"
'Bad move! Really bad move!' Harry thought running to the dressing room across the hall and knocking wildly on the door. "ARABELLA! HELP!"
The door opened and one of the bridesmaids smiled at him and let him in. Harry smiled at her and poked his head out of the small crack of the door sticking his tongue out at his godfather before shutting and locking the door.
"Thank you."
He turned his vivid green eyes to the bridesmaids to see them giving him appraising looks. He had the sudden picture of three giant cats cornering a mouse and he smiled nervously taking a small step back.
"Bella, suga. We just found our make up tester." said the Maid of Honor who happened to have spent three years in Texas and had quite the accent.
Laughing nervously Harry glanced at the door, the bridesmaids and finally a quick look of an escape. The way he saw it he had three choices here. His irate godfather whose nerves were stretched to the limit, staying with the bridesmaids and becoming a live guinea pig, or making a run for the third story window. The window would have won had it not been for the fact that Arabella would kill him if he got any blood on his dress robes.
'Godfather it is!' He made a break for the door and flew out of it and straight into his godfathers awaiting arms.
"Harry, Harry, Harry." Oh painful Lockhart flashback. "Your going to change my dress robes back. Now."
Sirius's voice had lowered quite a few more octaves then it should have. And Harry, for once having a keen self preservation, nodded agreeably. Sirius grinned triumphantly and took him by the arm leading him back towards the groom's dressing rooms.
Harry dug around in his pockets and brought out a potion pouring it over the green and yellow striped robes. They changed back to the dark blue of before, completely dry. At Sirius's amused look he smiled.
"WWW." Sirius nodded knowledgably and made a mental note to buy some of that from Fred and George.
"Hey Paw-paw?" Harry asked as he watched Sirius nervously don the robes.
"Yes, Harry?" Sirius asked giving up on the name. Though he planned to kill Remus for telling Harry any of his baby stories.
"How did you ask Arabella to marry you?" the sixteen year old blinked at the older man.
"Before or after Azkaban?" Sirius's laughing eyes found Harry and he raised an eyebrow.
"Which is the best?"
"Don't you mean which one did I get slapped on?"
"That too."
"I asked her." Sirius said glaring good naturedly.
"Thanks that helps."
"OH! Does ickle Harry have a wittle girlie in mind? Hmmmm?"
"Shut up Paw-paw."
"Well now. Let's see. The first time I asked her I was a tad bit insincere but what can you expect from a nine year old?"
"You asked her to marry you when you we're nine?" asked Harry in disbelief.
"Oh yes, and every year after that. Exact date."
"Your nuts."
"Mostly but don't tell her that. We're getting married." Sirius said as if confiding a great secret.
"So what did she do?"
"Which time?"
"When you were nine."
"Slapped me."
"Ten?"
"Slapped me."
"Eleven?"
"Slapped."
"Twelve?"
"Enchanted my forehead to say no in neon flashing letters and slapped me."
"What about thirteen?"
"Told me if I asked her next year she would never talk to me again and slapped me."
"So when you were fourteen did she refuse to talk to you?"
"Hope she talked to me. Quite loudly actually." Sirius grinned at the memory. "I stood up on the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and asked her to marry me and she stood up smashed the pudding in my face and slapped me."
"Dare I ask about when you were fifteen?"
"She turned my head into a volley ball and slapped me."
"Getting good. Let's hear sixteen."
"I believe I went into the girls restroom, she wouldn't come out, and asked her. She stormed out of the stall slapped me, grabbed my ear, and stuffed my head in the toilet. She then proceeded to flush said toilet."
"I'm almost afraid to ask about seventeen."
"Too bad I'm telling you anyway. She was outside at the Quidditch pitch. And I approached her asked her to marry me and she said 'If it will finally shut you up after all these years fine.' And then she kissed me." Sirius's face turned dreamy.
"Wow."
"Sadly she was waiting for a ring and I hadn't thought she would ever except. So she slapped me and refused to talk to me for seven months straight.
"So did you stop asking her?"
"No way! I sought her out at eighteen I had a ring and a speech planned out. I went up to her and asked her to marry me. She called me the most inconsiderate pig in the entire universe and slapped me. Actually I think she liked slapping me more then she did any other part of the proposals."
Harry blinked in surprise and Sirius shrugged in a 'like I get it anymore then you do' way.
"When I was nineteen I had planned the day out perfectly. I had gotten Lily, who was married to your father by then, to take her to a restaurant and I paged her. She left and I slipped in the booth with Bella and we talked for a bit. I asked her to dance and finally got her up we danced and I got down on my knee and asked her to marry me. I opened the ring box and slipped it on her finger she slapped my lightly helped me up and kissed me. She then preceded to say yes."
Remus stepped into the room with a smug smile, already dressed in the matching robes as he was the best man. "Go on Padfoot, finish up your story." he said as he sat down.
"Tell Paw-paw." Sirius flared at him as Remus let out a snort of laughter,
"Well you remember in your fourth year that I was sent out to warn everyone. I had to stay with her off and on throughout the year and the day came when I used to ask her to marry me and asked if she had the ring still. She was crying hard after I asked and explained she had thrown it out five years after I was in Azkaban.
"Well by the next year I had a plain gold band and I asked her to marry me. And you my ring boy are here."
Harry glared at the reminder of his part in the wedding. Why they wanted him, a sixteen year old, as the ring barer he had no ideal. But he had the feeling that if he ever found out he would probably have no qualms in killing the both of them and force feeding them to Voldemort.
His mind went back to the ring and he frowned thoughtfully. "Did you ever find that ring, Paw-paw?"
"No, I suspect it's long gone by now. Who knows where it could be."
"What did it look like?" asked Harry as he glanced at the two men in front of him.
"Never told you did I? It was a silver band with Celtic knots engraved on it. In the middle was a small flat pearl and if you looked close enough I enchanted a dog and cat curled up together in the depths of the pearl."
Harry nodded at Sirius a small smile playing across his features which Remus caught immediately.
"So, Harry, who's the lucky girl?" Harry rolled his eyes and turned towards the mirror attempting to gel his hair into order.
"Not you too, Remus! Can't a guy ask his godfather how he and his soon to be godmother got married?"
Remus and Sirius glanced at each other in amusement. Slowly they turned to him and in the exact same tone said "No."
Harry glared at them through the mirror and picked up a come trying to get it to stay in place. He only succeeded in making the come flop out of his hair and hitting the mirror ricocheting off that and hitting Sirius square in the forehead. Sirius glared at him and rubbed his face as Harry and Remus broke into laughter.
"I guess we'll have to guess then Moony. Who do you think it could be?"
"Well if he denies it being a girl perhaps it's a guy and if so my votes on Draco Malfoy."
Harry choked and his eye's shot sparks at them. "I am not gay!"
"Alright then what about Patil?" Remus asked with a small smile.
"Bones?"
"Abbot?"
"Moaning Myrtle?" Sirius asked smugly as Harry ignored them and gave up on his hair completely missing the sly look Sirius donned.
"Well it certainly can't be Hermione since I saw her and Ron kissing in the corridors last May."
"What!" Harry yelled his face turning suspiciously red as he flung around to look at them.
"HAH! Hermione! You like Hermione!"
Harry realized he'd been tricked and was about to attack the groom when he was saved by the arrival of the pastor. The pastor told them they were needed up front in five minutes and Harry nodded excusing himself for a few minutes.
It was two minutes before Arabella was to walk up the isle when Harry returned and partially ran to the front of the church to stand by Sirius and Remus. Harry grinned goofily as he straightened his robes.
"What are you grinning at?" Sirius hissed through his smiled but the reply, which there was none but Sirius didn't know that, went unheard as the march had become and people we're rustling to stand up.
"With this ring I thee wed." Arabella spoke softly and Harry grinned at her bringing out the ring and handing it to her. Watching as she slipped it on Sirius's finger. He slipped the ring into Sirius's hand before he had a chance to look at it.
"With this ring I thee-" he caught sight of the ring and barely managed to say "wed" in his surprise. He gave a discreet glance to Harry and Harry smiled brightly at him.
"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black! You may now kiss the bride!"
Sirius leaned down and lifted Arabella's veil and kissed her softly laughing as they broke for air. He smiled at her and let her hug her bridesmaids and turned to hug Remus and Harry himself. Sirius hugged Harry after Remus.
"Where did you get that?" he hissed in Harry's ear.
"Six year olds are entirely too curious when they see shining rings in their babysitter's trash can."
AN: I hope you all enjoyed it. *smiles at everyone* It was nice of you to read. It would be nicer of you to review.
Wyltk
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I don't own Harry Potter which belongs to J. K. Rowling and others. Please no suing.
Slapped!
By Wyltk
"HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRESS ROBES!" Harry swallowed his laughter as his godfather marched towards him. His eyes and posture were screaming murder but Harry decided to push just a bit more.
"Now, Now Paw-Paw!"
'Bad move! Really bad move!' Harry thought running to the dressing room across the hall and knocking wildly on the door. "ARABELLA! HELP!"
The door opened and one of the bridesmaids smiled at him and let him in. Harry smiled at her and poked his head out of the small crack of the door sticking his tongue out at his godfather before shutting and locking the door.
"Thank you."
He turned his vivid green eyes to the bridesmaids to see them giving him appraising looks. He had the sudden picture of three giant cats cornering a mouse and he smiled nervously taking a small step back.
"Bella, suga. We just found our make up tester." said the Maid of Honor who happened to have spent three years in Texas and had quite the accent.
Laughing nervously Harry glanced at the door, the bridesmaids and finally a quick look of an escape. The way he saw it he had three choices here. His irate godfather whose nerves were stretched to the limit, staying with the bridesmaids and becoming a live guinea pig, or making a run for the third story window. The window would have won had it not been for the fact that Arabella would kill him if he got any blood on his dress robes.
'Godfather it is!' He made a break for the door and flew out of it and straight into his godfathers awaiting arms.
"Harry, Harry, Harry." Oh painful Lockhart flashback. "Your going to change my dress robes back. Now."
Sirius's voice had lowered quite a few more octaves then it should have. And Harry, for once having a keen self preservation, nodded agreeably. Sirius grinned triumphantly and took him by the arm leading him back towards the groom's dressing rooms.
Harry dug around in his pockets and brought out a potion pouring it over the green and yellow striped robes. They changed back to the dark blue of before, completely dry. At Sirius's amused look he smiled.
"WWW." Sirius nodded knowledgably and made a mental note to buy some of that from Fred and George.
"Hey Paw-paw?" Harry asked as he watched Sirius nervously don the robes.
"Yes, Harry?" Sirius asked giving up on the name. Though he planned to kill Remus for telling Harry any of his baby stories.
"How did you ask Arabella to marry you?" the sixteen year old blinked at the older man.
"Before or after Azkaban?" Sirius's laughing eyes found Harry and he raised an eyebrow.
"Which is the best?"
"Don't you mean which one did I get slapped on?"
"That too."
"I asked her." Sirius said glaring good naturedly.
"Thanks that helps."
"OH! Does ickle Harry have a wittle girlie in mind? Hmmmm?"
"Shut up Paw-paw."
"Well now. Let's see. The first time I asked her I was a tad bit insincere but what can you expect from a nine year old?"
"You asked her to marry you when you we're nine?" asked Harry in disbelief.
"Oh yes, and every year after that. Exact date."
"Your nuts."
"Mostly but don't tell her that. We're getting married." Sirius said as if confiding a great secret.
"So what did she do?"
"Which time?"
"When you were nine."
"Slapped me."
"Ten?"
"Slapped me."
"Eleven?"
"Slapped."
"Twelve?"
"Enchanted my forehead to say no in neon flashing letters and slapped me."
"What about thirteen?"
"Told me if I asked her next year she would never talk to me again and slapped me."
"So when you were fourteen did she refuse to talk to you?"
"Hope she talked to me. Quite loudly actually." Sirius grinned at the memory. "I stood up on the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and asked her to marry me and she stood up smashed the pudding in my face and slapped me."
"Dare I ask about when you were fifteen?"
"She turned my head into a volley ball and slapped me."
"Getting good. Let's hear sixteen."
"I believe I went into the girls restroom, she wouldn't come out, and asked her. She stormed out of the stall slapped me, grabbed my ear, and stuffed my head in the toilet. She then proceeded to flush said toilet."
"I'm almost afraid to ask about seventeen."
"Too bad I'm telling you anyway. She was outside at the Quidditch pitch. And I approached her asked her to marry me and she said 'If it will finally shut you up after all these years fine.' And then she kissed me." Sirius's face turned dreamy.
"Wow."
"Sadly she was waiting for a ring and I hadn't thought she would ever except. So she slapped me and refused to talk to me for seven months straight.
"So did you stop asking her?"
"No way! I sought her out at eighteen I had a ring and a speech planned out. I went up to her and asked her to marry me. She called me the most inconsiderate pig in the entire universe and slapped me. Actually I think she liked slapping me more then she did any other part of the proposals."
Harry blinked in surprise and Sirius shrugged in a 'like I get it anymore then you do' way.
"When I was nineteen I had planned the day out perfectly. I had gotten Lily, who was married to your father by then, to take her to a restaurant and I paged her. She left and I slipped in the booth with Bella and we talked for a bit. I asked her to dance and finally got her up we danced and I got down on my knee and asked her to marry me. I opened the ring box and slipped it on her finger she slapped my lightly helped me up and kissed me. She then preceded to say yes."
Remus stepped into the room with a smug smile, already dressed in the matching robes as he was the best man. "Go on Padfoot, finish up your story." he said as he sat down.
"Tell Paw-paw." Sirius flared at him as Remus let out a snort of laughter,
"Well you remember in your fourth year that I was sent out to warn everyone. I had to stay with her off and on throughout the year and the day came when I used to ask her to marry me and asked if she had the ring still. She was crying hard after I asked and explained she had thrown it out five years after I was in Azkaban.
"Well by the next year I had a plain gold band and I asked her to marry me. And you my ring boy are here."
Harry glared at the reminder of his part in the wedding. Why they wanted him, a sixteen year old, as the ring barer he had no ideal. But he had the feeling that if he ever found out he would probably have no qualms in killing the both of them and force feeding them to Voldemort.
His mind went back to the ring and he frowned thoughtfully. "Did you ever find that ring, Paw-paw?"
"No, I suspect it's long gone by now. Who knows where it could be."
"What did it look like?" asked Harry as he glanced at the two men in front of him.
"Never told you did I? It was a silver band with Celtic knots engraved on it. In the middle was a small flat pearl and if you looked close enough I enchanted a dog and cat curled up together in the depths of the pearl."
Harry nodded at Sirius a small smile playing across his features which Remus caught immediately.
"So, Harry, who's the lucky girl?" Harry rolled his eyes and turned towards the mirror attempting to gel his hair into order.
"Not you too, Remus! Can't a guy ask his godfather how he and his soon to be godmother got married?"
Remus and Sirius glanced at each other in amusement. Slowly they turned to him and in the exact same tone said "No."
Harry glared at them through the mirror and picked up a come trying to get it to stay in place. He only succeeded in making the come flop out of his hair and hitting the mirror ricocheting off that and hitting Sirius square in the forehead. Sirius glared at him and rubbed his face as Harry and Remus broke into laughter.
"I guess we'll have to guess then Moony. Who do you think it could be?"
"Well if he denies it being a girl perhaps it's a guy and if so my votes on Draco Malfoy."
Harry choked and his eye's shot sparks at them. "I am not gay!"
"Alright then what about Patil?" Remus asked with a small smile.
"Bones?"
"Abbot?"
"Moaning Myrtle?" Sirius asked smugly as Harry ignored them and gave up on his hair completely missing the sly look Sirius donned.
"Well it certainly can't be Hermione since I saw her and Ron kissing in the corridors last May."
"What!" Harry yelled his face turning suspiciously red as he flung around to look at them.
"HAH! Hermione! You like Hermione!"
Harry realized he'd been tricked and was about to attack the groom when he was saved by the arrival of the pastor. The pastor told them they were needed up front in five minutes and Harry nodded excusing himself for a few minutes.
It was two minutes before Arabella was to walk up the isle when Harry returned and partially ran to the front of the church to stand by Sirius and Remus. Harry grinned goofily as he straightened his robes.
"What are you grinning at?" Sirius hissed through his smiled but the reply, which there was none but Sirius didn't know that, went unheard as the march had become and people we're rustling to stand up.
"With this ring I thee wed." Arabella spoke softly and Harry grinned at her bringing out the ring and handing it to her. Watching as she slipped it on Sirius's finger. He slipped the ring into Sirius's hand before he had a chance to look at it.
"With this ring I thee-" he caught sight of the ring and barely managed to say "wed" in his surprise. He gave a discreet glance to Harry and Harry smiled brightly at him.
"I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black! You may now kiss the bride!"
Sirius leaned down and lifted Arabella's veil and kissed her softly laughing as they broke for air. He smiled at her and let her hug her bridesmaids and turned to hug Remus and Harry himself. Sirius hugged Harry after Remus.
"Where did you get that?" he hissed in Harry's ear.
"Six year olds are entirely too curious when they see shining rings in their babysitter's trash can."
AN: I hope you all enjoyed it. *smiles at everyone* It was nice of you to read. It would be nicer of you to review.
Wyltk