Vaughn closed his eyes and took a sharp breath. With four words, Sydney Bristow had turned his world upside down -- in the good way. He could hardly believe that this incredible, beautiful, brave woman had just told him that she loved him, especially after he had been less than forthcoming about his own feelings for her. He had almost wanted to slap himself when he told her that he "cared" for her. More like worshiped, adored, needed, and wanted her. But he had been afraid to tell her, even after she poured out her heart about Danny. For so long, he was convinced that his love for her was unrequited. Even when she asked him to the hockey game, he thought it was more about thumbing her nose at Sloane than wanting to spend time with him. They had grown much closer since she rescued him in France, but he wasn't presumptuous enough to assume that the depth of her feelings matched his. But now, she had gone and proven him wrong. He had never in his life been so happy to be wrong about something.
Still, he was almost afraid to open his eyes, for fear that he was dreaming this. But when he finally did open them, he found himself looking into Sydney's dark brown eyes, which were searching his own.
"Vaughn, are you going to say something?" she asked, her voice shaky.
He closed his eyes again and leaned his forehead against hers. "Do you know," he whispered "how many times I've dreamt of hearing you say that? In my dreams, though, I always told you first."
"Well, so far," she teased, "you haven't told me anything, except that you care about me, and frankly, that's not a lot for me to go on."
Even now, in the middle of the most important moment of his life, she could make him laugh. He reached up to pull Sydney's hand from the back of his head. He held it in his and moved it to his chest so she could feel his heart beating, beating for her. "Sydney Bristow, I've been in love with you from the moment I saw you in that red wig."
Sydney was sure that her heart had just doubled in size, and her dimples were out in full force. "That long, huh? Why did you wait so long to tell me?"
"A thousand reasons. I wasn't sure that you felt the same way, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, I was trying to keep our relationship professional, not to mention the inappropriateness of a handler falling in love with his agent. I always thought that I would wait until SD-6 was destroyed to tell you."
"Vaughn!" she said exasperatedly. "Who knows when that will be. I can't believe that you were just going to wait for who knows how long to tell me that you loved me."
"Sydney, I don't think I have to remind you of all the reasons why I shouldn't even be telling you this now."
"I know," she sighed. "I know that you're right. But you did tell me, and you can't take it back, now."
"No, I can't. I wouldn't. Now you know why I can't sleep when you're on a mission, and why I smile every time a paper bag gets delivered to my office, and why my heart starts beating faster every time I hear your footsteps in the warehouse."
"And why you would do something completely crazy, like break into the Vatican with me?" She smiled as he nodded. "You would do anything for me, wouldn't you?" It was a rhetorical question, really. She already knew that he would -- that he had -- and she loved him for it. "I know you would, because I would for you too."
"Yeah, that's part of the problem, Syd. If Sloane, or your mom, or Kendall and Devlin knew that . . . there's no telling what they would do. Having the feelings for each other that we do puts us at their mercy."
"Vaughn, I know that. I know that it's terribly inconvenient to be in love with you, but I don't care. After Danny, I didn't think that I would ever open my heart to anyone again. But I did. Now that I know that you love me, I won't give you up. Ever. Please don't ask me to do that."
"I'm not asking you to do that. I would never ask you to do that. I tried to close myself off to you once before and it nearly killed me." He took a deep breath. "But we have to be realistic about this. We just made our lives a thousand times more complicated than they were yesterday."
She broke away from him and walked to the window. Is was so beautiful outside, so peaceful and calm. She wished her life could be that way. She wondered if it ever would be. "You know, usually when two people finally admit that they love each other, it makes their lives better, not worse."
He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her back into his embrace and bent his head down to nuzzle her neck. "Sydney, if you never remember anything else that I tell you, remember this. Loving you and knowing that you love me too makes my life so much better than it was before. You could never make my life worse. Ever. Things are more complicated now, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We'll figure this out, I promise."
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his. He always knew how to make her feel better. It was like magic. She knew that he needed to be practical -- someone had to be, and they both knew it wouldn't be her. He was right, they would have to figure out a way not to let their feelings interfere with the work ahead of them. They had to, because now they were fighting for something much more important than the downfall of SD-6.
"You make my life better, too, Vaughn. You always have. You always will, I know that."
"Either that, or I'll die trying." He was joking but he felt her stiffen in his arms.
"Vaughn, don't say that!" she exhaled sharply. "Considering my track record . . . it's nothing to joke about." Suddenly, she was finding it hard to breathe. After Danny and Noah, she was starting to believe that she was cursed to lose every man that meant anything to her. If anything ever happened to Vaughn, she knew that she would never get over it.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He kissed her temple and tried to soothe her. She was so complicated, like a constantly shifting puzzle that he could never quite figure out. But he couldn't deny that he loved the challenge. Life with Sydney would never, ever be boring, he was sure of that. He grew quiet with her as they both stared at the snow that was softly falling outside the window.
"It's so beautiful out there, " she said softly.
"It is in here, too." He could see her reflection smile in the window. "I love you, Sydney. So much."
"How much?" Her words were teasing, but the intensity in her eyes gave her away. She wasn't challenging him; she really needed to know -- wanted to know -- how much he loved her.
"More than I could tell you," he told her as he kissed her neck.
She turned around to face him, pressing her body against his. She took his arms and wrapped them back around her waist, and then wrapped her own arms around his neck. She looked into his eyes and was awed by the depth of emotion she saw in them. She knew that no man had ever looked at her the way that he did, with so much love and admiration and respect. No man had ever known or understood her more than he did, either. And she knew, even before it happened, that no man had ever kissed her the way that he would.
"Show me."
As his lips gently found hers, she knew that she had been right. Their kiss was soft and gentle, but gradually grew in intensity. After more than a year of buildup, it was no surprise that their passion for each other started to explode. As their kiss deepened, they were both short of breath, but reluctant to break the kiss that they had both waited so long for. Her hands were in his hair and his hands traced lazy circles across her back as he pulled her closer to him. When he started kissing her neck, she could barely fight the moan that escaped her lips.
Things were starting to go beyond the point where Vaughn could control himself any longer. He had already broken every rule of protocol except one, and he knew that he should stop before he crossed that last line. But nothing in his life had ever felt as good as holding Sydney in his arms and kissing her. He could only imagine one thing that would feel better, and he wanted that more than anything, so much so that he was desperately trying to ignore the nagging voices in the back of his mind. He silently told them to shut up as he slid Sydney's sweater off of one shoulder and kissed it softly.
She brought her arms down from around his neck so she could shrug the sweater off her arms. After it landed in a crumple on the floor, she moved her hands underneath his own sweater, moving them around his waist and across his chest. She could feel his body shudder under her touch. She pulled the sweater up in one smooth motion to remove it, but the turtleneck got stuck over his face, requiring some additional tugging. She could hear him laughing, and a giggle escaped her own mouth.
"See what you do to me, Vaughn? I can diffuse a bomb in a matter of seconds, but I can't even undress you without fumbling all over myself." When the sweater finally came off, she saw his green eyes full of laughter.
"Yeah, we're gonna have to work on your manual dexterity skills one day."
"No time like the present," she murmured as she kissed his chest. "But hey, check out my strength skills." She pushed him backwards until he found himself sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached out and pulled her towards him so she was standing between his legs. "SD-6 was useful for something, after all."
She regretted the statement almost as soon as she said it. He sighed loudly, even as he wrapped his arms tighter around her and rested his head against her stomach. She let her hands play in his hair, even though she was dreading the words that she knew would come out of his mouth.
"Syd, we shouldn't --"
"Don't," she pleaded. "Don't try to stop this." She almost wanted to scream. SD-6 had already taken so much from her. It wasn't going to take this too. "Don't you want this?"
He pulled his head back and looked up into her eyes. "Yes, of course I want this. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life. But Syd, if we do this," his voice was soft but intense, "if we do this, we're just going to want to do it again, and we can't. Once we get back to L.A., we're going to have to be more careful than ever before. But if I make love to you tonight . . . I don't think I'll trust myself to be alone with you again."
She smiled softly and kissed the top of his head. "So we'll get my dad to chaperone us."
"Syd," he groaned.
"Vaughn, stop dragging common sense into this," she said with an exasperated sigh. "I know all the reasons why I should push you out the door, and so do you. But I also know that I've never wanted anything more than I want to be with you right now. We just spent the whole day together, and it was amazing. Can't we have just one night together too? We can go back to being Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow when we get back to L.A., but tonight is about Michael and Sydney. And they have too many clothes on right now," she grinned.
He couldn't help but grin himself. God, would he ever be able to resist this woman? He had a feeling that he was destined to spend the rest of his life wrapped around her little finger -- happily. As he pulled her down into his lap, he told her that she was right -- Michael and Sydney *did* have too many clothes on. But that was a problem, maybe the *only* problem they had encountered together, that had an easy solution.
Still, he was almost afraid to open his eyes, for fear that he was dreaming this. But when he finally did open them, he found himself looking into Sydney's dark brown eyes, which were searching his own.
"Vaughn, are you going to say something?" she asked, her voice shaky.
He closed his eyes again and leaned his forehead against hers. "Do you know," he whispered "how many times I've dreamt of hearing you say that? In my dreams, though, I always told you first."
"Well, so far," she teased, "you haven't told me anything, except that you care about me, and frankly, that's not a lot for me to go on."
Even now, in the middle of the most important moment of his life, she could make him laugh. He reached up to pull Sydney's hand from the back of his head. He held it in his and moved it to his chest so she could feel his heart beating, beating for her. "Sydney Bristow, I've been in love with you from the moment I saw you in that red wig."
Sydney was sure that her heart had just doubled in size, and her dimples were out in full force. "That long, huh? Why did you wait so long to tell me?"
"A thousand reasons. I wasn't sure that you felt the same way, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, I was trying to keep our relationship professional, not to mention the inappropriateness of a handler falling in love with his agent. I always thought that I would wait until SD-6 was destroyed to tell you."
"Vaughn!" she said exasperatedly. "Who knows when that will be. I can't believe that you were just going to wait for who knows how long to tell me that you loved me."
"Sydney, I don't think I have to remind you of all the reasons why I shouldn't even be telling you this now."
"I know," she sighed. "I know that you're right. But you did tell me, and you can't take it back, now."
"No, I can't. I wouldn't. Now you know why I can't sleep when you're on a mission, and why I smile every time a paper bag gets delivered to my office, and why my heart starts beating faster every time I hear your footsteps in the warehouse."
"And why you would do something completely crazy, like break into the Vatican with me?" She smiled as he nodded. "You would do anything for me, wouldn't you?" It was a rhetorical question, really. She already knew that he would -- that he had -- and she loved him for it. "I know you would, because I would for you too."
"Yeah, that's part of the problem, Syd. If Sloane, or your mom, or Kendall and Devlin knew that . . . there's no telling what they would do. Having the feelings for each other that we do puts us at their mercy."
"Vaughn, I know that. I know that it's terribly inconvenient to be in love with you, but I don't care. After Danny, I didn't think that I would ever open my heart to anyone again. But I did. Now that I know that you love me, I won't give you up. Ever. Please don't ask me to do that."
"I'm not asking you to do that. I would never ask you to do that. I tried to close myself off to you once before and it nearly killed me." He took a deep breath. "But we have to be realistic about this. We just made our lives a thousand times more complicated than they were yesterday."
She broke away from him and walked to the window. Is was so beautiful outside, so peaceful and calm. She wished her life could be that way. She wondered if it ever would be. "You know, usually when two people finally admit that they love each other, it makes their lives better, not worse."
He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her back into his embrace and bent his head down to nuzzle her neck. "Sydney, if you never remember anything else that I tell you, remember this. Loving you and knowing that you love me too makes my life so much better than it was before. You could never make my life worse. Ever. Things are more complicated now, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We'll figure this out, I promise."
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his. He always knew how to make her feel better. It was like magic. She knew that he needed to be practical -- someone had to be, and they both knew it wouldn't be her. He was right, they would have to figure out a way not to let their feelings interfere with the work ahead of them. They had to, because now they were fighting for something much more important than the downfall of SD-6.
"You make my life better, too, Vaughn. You always have. You always will, I know that."
"Either that, or I'll die trying." He was joking but he felt her stiffen in his arms.
"Vaughn, don't say that!" she exhaled sharply. "Considering my track record . . . it's nothing to joke about." Suddenly, she was finding it hard to breathe. After Danny and Noah, she was starting to believe that she was cursed to lose every man that meant anything to her. If anything ever happened to Vaughn, she knew that she would never get over it.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He kissed her temple and tried to soothe her. She was so complicated, like a constantly shifting puzzle that he could never quite figure out. But he couldn't deny that he loved the challenge. Life with Sydney would never, ever be boring, he was sure of that. He grew quiet with her as they both stared at the snow that was softly falling outside the window.
"It's so beautiful out there, " she said softly.
"It is in here, too." He could see her reflection smile in the window. "I love you, Sydney. So much."
"How much?" Her words were teasing, but the intensity in her eyes gave her away. She wasn't challenging him; she really needed to know -- wanted to know -- how much he loved her.
"More than I could tell you," he told her as he kissed her neck.
She turned around to face him, pressing her body against his. She took his arms and wrapped them back around her waist, and then wrapped her own arms around his neck. She looked into his eyes and was awed by the depth of emotion she saw in them. She knew that no man had ever looked at her the way that he did, with so much love and admiration and respect. No man had ever known or understood her more than he did, either. And she knew, even before it happened, that no man had ever kissed her the way that he would.
"Show me."
As his lips gently found hers, she knew that she had been right. Their kiss was soft and gentle, but gradually grew in intensity. After more than a year of buildup, it was no surprise that their passion for each other started to explode. As their kiss deepened, they were both short of breath, but reluctant to break the kiss that they had both waited so long for. Her hands were in his hair and his hands traced lazy circles across her back as he pulled her closer to him. When he started kissing her neck, she could barely fight the moan that escaped her lips.
Things were starting to go beyond the point where Vaughn could control himself any longer. He had already broken every rule of protocol except one, and he knew that he should stop before he crossed that last line. But nothing in his life had ever felt as good as holding Sydney in his arms and kissing her. He could only imagine one thing that would feel better, and he wanted that more than anything, so much so that he was desperately trying to ignore the nagging voices in the back of his mind. He silently told them to shut up as he slid Sydney's sweater off of one shoulder and kissed it softly.
She brought her arms down from around his neck so she could shrug the sweater off her arms. After it landed in a crumple on the floor, she moved her hands underneath his own sweater, moving them around his waist and across his chest. She could feel his body shudder under her touch. She pulled the sweater up in one smooth motion to remove it, but the turtleneck got stuck over his face, requiring some additional tugging. She could hear him laughing, and a giggle escaped her own mouth.
"See what you do to me, Vaughn? I can diffuse a bomb in a matter of seconds, but I can't even undress you without fumbling all over myself." When the sweater finally came off, she saw his green eyes full of laughter.
"Yeah, we're gonna have to work on your manual dexterity skills one day."
"No time like the present," she murmured as she kissed his chest. "But hey, check out my strength skills." She pushed him backwards until he found himself sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached out and pulled her towards him so she was standing between his legs. "SD-6 was useful for something, after all."
She regretted the statement almost as soon as she said it. He sighed loudly, even as he wrapped his arms tighter around her and rested his head against her stomach. She let her hands play in his hair, even though she was dreading the words that she knew would come out of his mouth.
"Syd, we shouldn't --"
"Don't," she pleaded. "Don't try to stop this." She almost wanted to scream. SD-6 had already taken so much from her. It wasn't going to take this too. "Don't you want this?"
He pulled his head back and looked up into her eyes. "Yes, of course I want this. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life. But Syd, if we do this," his voice was soft but intense, "if we do this, we're just going to want to do it again, and we can't. Once we get back to L.A., we're going to have to be more careful than ever before. But if I make love to you tonight . . . I don't think I'll trust myself to be alone with you again."
She smiled softly and kissed the top of his head. "So we'll get my dad to chaperone us."
"Syd," he groaned.
"Vaughn, stop dragging common sense into this," she said with an exasperated sigh. "I know all the reasons why I should push you out the door, and so do you. But I also know that I've never wanted anything more than I want to be with you right now. We just spent the whole day together, and it was amazing. Can't we have just one night together too? We can go back to being Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow when we get back to L.A., but tonight is about Michael and Sydney. And they have too many clothes on right now," she grinned.
He couldn't help but grin himself. God, would he ever be able to resist this woman? He had a feeling that he was destined to spend the rest of his life wrapped around her little finger -- happily. As he pulled her down into his lap, he told her that she was right -- Michael and Sydney *did* have too many clothes on. But that was a problem, maybe the *only* problem they had encountered together, that had an easy solution.