Teleute: Hiya guys! Miss me, I'm sure?
Integra: Not really, we'll expecting that you have something better to do like, well, collect dead peaple instead to messing with the alive ones... Since you're Death...
Teleute: Are you saying I'm bad at my job?
Integra: What do you think?
Teleute: I think someone need a hug! Alucard, your master needs to be hug!
Alucard:(grins) Oh, master...
(Integra tries to escape but Alucard catch her and hugs her)
Teleute: Awww, isn't that sweet...
Maxwell: (rolls eyes) Very sweet, if I had diabetes I'll dead by now...
Teleute: (smirks) Owww, someone *is* jealous, he he
Maxwell: I'm a catholic priest, I'm supossed to live in celibate...
Teleute: Well, but Iscariote's priests are anything but normal...
Anderson: You cursed being! We are the messengers of God, our word is a...
All: Shut up!
Paul: Why I am here?
Teleute: I need someone who may play Mr Hawkins and you're the only left...
Paul: What about Incognito?
Teleute: Uhmm he kinda runaway with my lil' sis'
Integra: I think that the word dragged into her insanity world is the more true to the facts...
Teleute: Details, details...Okay, guys let's begin! Silent in the Set! 3,2,1 Action!
Walter: (due to the lack of a narrator he put the computer tittles)
1 8 9 7 A.D.
Four centuries later
E N G L A N D
LONDON
LATE EVENING
Carfax District Lunatic Asylum
Renfield's Cell
Yan Valentine: I've done everything that you asked, Master...
(his expresion turns blank) I forgot my lines... he he
Teleute: Cut! Dammit! Walter!
Walter: Yes, Miss Teleute...
Teleute: Please do something! Help that moron!
Walter:(bows) As you wish
Teleute: Jezzz, Does anyone here even read the script?
Alucard: Actually...
Teleute: Save it...
(Alucard smirks)
(Walter stars to typing Yan's lines, they're appearing in a screen)
Teleute: Thanks Walter... Silent! 3,2,1 Action!
Yan:(obvisously reading) All the preparations are in ...order.
(He tries to reach for a fly on the ceiling, but fails... He tries again and
fails... He pisses off and shoots at the fly who falls dead in to his hand...)
I await your... uhmm..command for I know that,... uhmmm when the rewards...
uhnmm..are given, and... what? Damn! Low yourself old man! I can't read the
fucking lines. You're too damn fast!
Teleute: Cut! I said *NO* swearing!
(Yan rolls eyes)
Teleute: Walter please continue your typing, this time remember he surely failed english in first grade...
Yan: Bitch! How did you know that!? Bro' did you tell her?
Luke: No, brother she must have figured out by herself...
Integra: It's not that hard, you unholy illiterate...
Alucard: He he, that's true master...
Teleute: Everybody SHUT UP!
All: ...
Teleute: Ok, 3,2,1 Action!
Yan: I'll be one of those who benefits from your generosity.
(He eats the fly, turns green and starts to throwing out)
Yan: What the fuck? I'm a vampire not a toad! Old Man, what was the last
line... oh...I remember: Thank you. (insane grin)
Teleute: Cut! Ok, that was... peculiar now we need to shoot the next scene Paul, Maxwell be ready...
Maxwell: Can't my bodyguard shoot this scene instead of me?
Teleute: Why? This is not a dangerous scene...
Maxwell: I'm follow someone's commands!!!!! I'm the leader of Iscariote, I'm not going to be boss for some idiot unholy being...
Teleute: No..., now go and suit yourself or you'll be sorry to be born!
Silent in the set! 3,2,1 Action!
Walter's typing:
THE NEXT MORNING
The Law Firm of Hawkins and Thompkins
(Mr. Hawkins speaks with law clerk Jonathan Harker)
Paul: Gone really really mad, loony, psycho. Renfield is deranged. He's lost his greedy mind, poor chap. Well I never like him anyways... I want you to take over for his foreign client, this rather eccentric freak of the nature: Count Dracula. He's buying up property around London... We'll always get the bad ones in our country...(shakes his head)
Maxwell:(evil grin) Of course, sir. I will tend to the Count. Thank you for your confidence. You can ever trust me..., for obvious reason I'm the best... You're so young and great boss to all of us... So when you retired remember who is your best man, eh? (winks eye)
Paul: Erhhh, right... This is a great opportunity for you, Harker, but you will have to leave for Transylvania immediately. Opportunities such as this come but once in a lifetime.(mumbles) or in more if your a vampire...
Maxwell: Yes, of course, sir. If I may inquire, what in fact happened to Mr. Renfield in Transylvania? If you don't mind. As you might know any incriminating evidence against you wont leave this room and certanly will never, ever be arrive at the hands of a judge... he he
Paul: (nervous) Er... Nothing, nothing. Personal problems. Close these transactions and your future with this firm is assured. So don't sue us...
Maxwell: Yes, sir. I will give it my word that I'll try to give it my fullest atention... Here boss as a gift a bought you some cuban cigars...
Paul: Why, thank you
(grabs a cigar...)
Integra: What the hell? My cigars! (grabs her gun and shoots Maxwell, who dodges and hit Paul who turns in to ashes)
Teleute: Cut! Jezzz Integra you kill an actor!
Integra: I didn't want to kill the unholy undead being, I want to kill the unholy alive being! He stole my cigars...(points to Maxwell)
Maxwell: (pretends to don't know what she's talking about) Do you have any evidence?
Integra: ...
Maxwell: (sly grin)
Teluete: Okay peaple, coffe break...!
Integra: I'm english, I'rather have tea...
Teleute: (sighs) Okay, okay, sorry... Tea break then...
(Hellsing squad enters dressed as waiters and stars to serve the coffe... errr tea)
After 20 minutes...
Teleute: Well, now is time for the romantic scene between Mina and Jonathan... Silent in the set! 3,2,1 Action!
Walter: (typing)
KENT
THE NEXT MORNING
The Garden at Hillingham Estate (Faversham, Kent)
(Maxwell is next to Integra who *gasp* is in a lavender dress, she has a blank
look in her face)
Integra: (confuse) We've waited this long..., haven't we? Damn what's wrong with me?
Maxwell: (gets closer to her) We can be married when I return.
Integra: (hesitases a little) Of course, I think...
Maxwell: I'll write.
Integra: Jonathan, Jonathan, I am not feeling very well...
Maxwell: (gives her a yellow rose) I love you, Mina. You're feeling the overwelcome love we both share..
(He tries to kiss her, but Integra passes away in his arms)
Teleute: Cut! What the hell is wrong with Integra??? Maxwell!
Maxwell: (smirks) I don't know what are talking about...
Alucard:( growls) Confess human! My master will *never* be in a dress... or she will close to you...
Maxwell: Ok ok, maybe I pay someone to drug her tea, so what? I was in self-defense... She would have kill me in that scene otherwise...
Seras: That was low! Even for you... Said something, Miss Teleute...
Teleute: You drug her? Jezz how come I didn't think that before... What drug did you use?
Seras: Miss Teleute!!
Teleute: Oh, I mean, bad priest, bad priest...
Walter: Excuse me, but you ever think about what will be her reaction when she wakes up...?
Maxwell: Oh,... never think of that before!
Alucard: (smirks) Run Maxwell run...!
Teleute: Try to stay alive Maxwell, we *need* a Harker after all... See you tomorrow night, I'm outta here, before Integra awakes...
Disclamer: Like I said before I don't own anything..., I'm not
smart enough to create such a cool characters... Thanks for the reviews:
General Sephiroth (Success in the first exam, yay!)
Akima Wingates Mabius (I'm glad you like the movie too)
croaky (Don't worry, Anderson'll have some cameos...)
Angie (Thanks for your help, I sent you an e-mail, but It was revoked... :(
Please, send me a e-mail so I can aswer back! (mara_jade666@hotmail.com) *Teleute
wonders if Death can be kill with a hug!*). Speaking of Death, here's a pic
of the Death I use in 'Choices': http://www.stwing.org/~lgardner/images/deathcaf.jpg.
Bye!!!