soapbox

Hey. Usually I won't add stuff like this until the very end, but I thought you guys should know. This is an awful chapter. I've revised it 4 times and finally gave up. My entire style for this story goes way downhill in this chapter. Kel is very OOC, IMHO. Not very Yamani-ish. Ah well, I tried to make her struggle. And for those of you who are going "NO! NO! He can't do that!" at the end, well, of COURSE he wou--, well, anyway, I still love my Nealy-Poo, no matter what he ends up doing. But if you read very carefully, there's a ton of foreshadowing in this chap. Even though this whole chapter pretty much flops like a fish out of water, I would still recommend reading it. Otherwise, you won't get chapter 7. *Rubi

/soapbox

If you died...

Oh, it hurts so bad...

It started out so perfect, something God could only create.

I yearned enough for thinking you on this special day.

Never once did I take for granted that you've been hurt before.

So you treated me like a lady and even more.

As I packed the next day, it felt as if I was floating on air. I'm really getting married!. I can't believe it! And to Neal, Neal of Queenscove, the love of my life. Folding another tunic and placing it into the box, I stood up. It'll be such a relief once this part is over with. Once we move in together, I mean. But then there's the actual "marriage" part. I stifled a snort as I snapped the top of the trunk down. The wedding was set two weeks from Thursday. Only our close family and friends will attend. I grinned inwardly. I'd already convinced Neal to make it a Yamani wedding- their ceremonies are much more simple and practical.

I lugged my various trunks and boxes up onto the cart I had borrowed from palace servants. As it filled, I realized it would take at least 2 or 3 trips to transport everything to Neal's larger quarters.

Wheeling the cart out of the door, I slid the key into the lock and turned it, protecting the room while I was gone. Briskly I walked down the hall towards Neal's rooms. In a moment of pure excitement, I pushed the cart quickly and stepped up onto the front ledge. Wind whipped through my hair as I zoomed down the empty corridor. Inhaling the air deeply, I let out a war cry.

No feeling could ever compare to the elation that I was feeling right now.

That's what I thought.

Stepping down off the ledge, I slowed the cart down as I neared my destination. Pulling the key out of my pocket, I tried to undo the lock...

To find that it was already open.

Cautiously, I turned the handle and opened the door...

And saw something I would never in my wildest dreams expect to find.

So I can't understand why you brought storms into my life.

Tell me why, you destroyed every part of me.

Now what once a beautiful lady that you showered with your love must live with a heart that bleeds.

No.

Not Neal.

Never.

Neal, glowing green, was bent over a beautiful lady who was lying on his bed. Hearing the door open, he turned to me. His face looked tired and drops of sweat rolled down his cheeks. "Kel," he started, "Oh, Kel...help me...do you know who this is," he asked, pointing at the woman.

I was furious with anger. How dare he! I'm so foolish, I thought. I had believed that he had and would love me forever. Obviously, I had been wrong. He was just the same old Neal who slept around with every lady at court.

I tried to regain my Yamani calm. It was difficult. "Actually, Nealan, we haven't been introduced," I said, meeting his emerald eyes with my hazel ones. "Why don't you take the honor and do it?"

Neal wrinkled his brow in confusion. "Nealan? You know that only my least fav-" Slowly, realization sank into his weary face. "Kel, no," he said in an unusually low voice. "It's not what it looks li-"

I interrupted him. "I think we'll just let the scene speak for itself." Unable to keep myself as stone any longer, I turned back out the door. Tears welling up in my eyes, I looked at the key in my hand, swiveling around. "You can keep this," I shouted, whipping it at him. Startled, he caught it.

I left, slamming the door behind me. Running to build up speed, I hopped onto the ledge of the cart again. But this time I wasn't excited. Wind dried my tears as soon as they came out of my eyes. Almost regretfully, I didn't hear any voice calling me. No footsteps running after me.

It was over, I thought. There's nothing he can do to get me running back at him.

This way again. That was the end.

So please don't take offense when I say what I have to say.

Cause if you died I wouldn't cry, cause you never loved me any way.

As I approached one of the intersections, I saw a red headed man walking across. I tried to slow the cart down...but it was no use. I slammed directly into him.


"Sir, I'm terribly sorry...can I help you up?" I offered, holding out my hand. A familiar face grinned up at me.

"Kel, I know you were upset, but do you really have to slam the cart into me?" Cleon asked, laughter in his voice.

Promises made and secrets told

Lying nights bent in ecstasy, we made love in a bed of roses for the universe to see.

There was no holding back from each other, both of our minds were free.

We never wasted time apart, boy it seems like entirety.

"Cleon! Oh! I'm so sorry!" I said, fighting the urge to burst into tears again. Stupid me! I thought. This is not working, and honestly, after all those years of training...! A sorrowful look escaped onto my face.

"What's wrong, Kel?" asked Cleon, concerned.

As much as I tried to keep it in, I couldn't help but sniffle. Kel! I reprimanded myself. Eight years off the islands and you forget everything they taught you! "It's...nothing, Cleon."

"It's alright," he said. "You can tell me."

I looked up into his gray eyes. "It's...Neal."

Cleon's look was one of sympathy. "What happened?"

Unwillingly, the whole story spilled out of my gods-cursed mouth.

"It's alright," soothed Cleon. "It's going to be alright."

So I can't understand why you brought this pain into my life..

Oh tell me why...

I gave you a reason to live and you used my love in vain .. so go on by yourself to survive this alone..

You know you can't come back home.

He pulled me into a hug. I was grateful. Looking back over my shoulder towards Neal's rooms, I saw a pair of emerald eyes shining wetly in the light.

He never loved me anyway, I thought crossly.

I hope you never come this way again.

You did, you did.

So please don't take offense when I say what I have to say.

If you died I wouldn't cry cause you never

How could this be

After all the love you said we shared you turned around and leave.

Boy you know you were my heart and soul but I can't be bad

I gotta let you go.

Together forever that's what we both said.

I didn't know that life could be so unfair.

No.

I.... you never

You used to be my best friend.

You can get struck by lighting, washed away by the sea, burned in a fire... just don't bring it back to me.

Cause you never loved me anyway.