Chap 1: That Scandinavian cooking show.
The TV glared on the empty couch as Jack O'Neill went to get another beer. He decided to have a really 'relaxing' night, that just happened to include large amounts of beer. Jack waddled back into the living room and dumped himself on the couch in his special groove he forged with his butt. Boy he was glad to be off duty after that damn time loop! He could just sit around, watch hockey and drink beer. Sam would usually lecture him on how it's bad for his health or something. Daniel didn't seem to care, Daniel would often join Jack and drink too. Teal'c can't get drunk because his Symbiote wont let him, Daniel and Jack find that rather disappointing.
Jack picked up the remote and changed the channel; a nature show came on, showing two zebra's getting it on...
"OOOH ! this might be interesting!" Jack said to himself, smiling with delight.
Suddenly a lion leaped out of the grass and attacked male Zebra, latching itself to the stallions neck, killing it.
"Buggar! That ALWAYS happens!" Jack complained.
He changed the channel again. The sounds of screaming delight and sweaty bodies radiated from the TV. Jack smiled very gleefully.
The Camera angle changed to show things involving toasters and a fridge. Jacks smile changed to a confused smirk of disgust. He tilted his head slightly and squinted, trying to figure out how they did that.
"How do they do that! It defies gravity!" He objected. "Stupid Anti - Gravity porn,"
Suddenly the phone rang, he jumped at the sudden loud noise. He picked up the phone.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" Jack yelled into the phone.
"Er, Jack, its me Daniel. Are you okay?" Daniel heard the sounds of pleasure in the background. "Uhh, Jack. What are you watching?"
Jack panicked and turned off the TV.
"Ohh, uhh, umm, nothing. Just watching a Scandinavian cooking show."
There was silence.
"uh, Okay then. What ever you say Jack. Anyway, Sam called me and said we have to go to the base tomorrow at 10.00," Daniel said.
"Dammit! I'm gonna have one helluva hang over!" Jack hit himself. "O-okay, Danny boy, I'll be there. Now, PISS OFF!" Jack slammed down the phone. He turned the TV back on, he wanted to see what happened next on the Scandinavian cooking show.
'Ooh!' he thought 'they are using woks now!'
Jack gulped down the rest of his beer.
"Hey! YOU CANNOT DO THAT WITH SAUSEPANS!" He yelled. He threw the remote at the TV. He decided to himself that he wouldn't watch it. That would mean he had to get up and get the remote to change the channel. He sat with his back to the TV and blocked his ears. The sound leaked into his ears.
"Damn I can't miss this!" he muttered. And turned back around. Eventually after everyone (including him lol) was all worn out he fell asleep.
The TV glared on the empty couch as Jack O'Neill went to get another beer. He decided to have a really 'relaxing' night, that just happened to include large amounts of beer. Jack waddled back into the living room and dumped himself on the couch in his special groove he forged with his butt. Boy he was glad to be off duty after that damn time loop! He could just sit around, watch hockey and drink beer. Sam would usually lecture him on how it's bad for his health or something. Daniel didn't seem to care, Daniel would often join Jack and drink too. Teal'c can't get drunk because his Symbiote wont let him, Daniel and Jack find that rather disappointing.
Jack picked up the remote and changed the channel; a nature show came on, showing two zebra's getting it on...
"OOOH ! this might be interesting!" Jack said to himself, smiling with delight.
Suddenly a lion leaped out of the grass and attacked male Zebra, latching itself to the stallions neck, killing it.
"Buggar! That ALWAYS happens!" Jack complained.
He changed the channel again. The sounds of screaming delight and sweaty bodies radiated from the TV. Jack smiled very gleefully.
The Camera angle changed to show things involving toasters and a fridge. Jacks smile changed to a confused smirk of disgust. He tilted his head slightly and squinted, trying to figure out how they did that.
"How do they do that! It defies gravity!" He objected. "Stupid Anti - Gravity porn,"
Suddenly the phone rang, he jumped at the sudden loud noise. He picked up the phone.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" Jack yelled into the phone.
"Er, Jack, its me Daniel. Are you okay?" Daniel heard the sounds of pleasure in the background. "Uhh, Jack. What are you watching?"
Jack panicked and turned off the TV.
"Ohh, uhh, umm, nothing. Just watching a Scandinavian cooking show."
There was silence.
"uh, Okay then. What ever you say Jack. Anyway, Sam called me and said we have to go to the base tomorrow at 10.00," Daniel said.
"Dammit! I'm gonna have one helluva hang over!" Jack hit himself. "O-okay, Danny boy, I'll be there. Now, PISS OFF!" Jack slammed down the phone. He turned the TV back on, he wanted to see what happened next on the Scandinavian cooking show.
'Ooh!' he thought 'they are using woks now!'
Jack gulped down the rest of his beer.
"Hey! YOU CANNOT DO THAT WITH SAUSEPANS!" He yelled. He threw the remote at the TV. He decided to himself that he wouldn't watch it. That would mean he had to get up and get the remote to change the channel. He sat with his back to the TV and blocked his ears. The sound leaked into his ears.
"Damn I can't miss this!" he muttered. And turned back around. Eventually after everyone (including him lol) was all worn out he fell asleep.