Lexx 5.0: Xteven's Tale
Chapter 2: Last of the Noah.
"So what happened next?" asked Xev
"Well, it was 10 years later, I think...I calculated a year every time 790 said th--."
"790? He's here?!" Stan said "I thought he disintergrated along with the rest of the old Lexx!"
"Apparently not, he told me that as soon as the Little Lexx was born, it gobbled him up, but it could not digest him." replied Xteven
"790 must still be in the stomache of the Little Lexx" Xev said, she stood up and headed towards her Moth.
"W-Wait a second, Xev! You are not bringing that Robot Head back up here, not until we find some kind of hammer or club so I can smash that thing to pieces!" Stan Demanded
"Since when do I listen to you? He might be broken now. We can fix him up but blind him so he doesn't fall in love with anyone."
"You just heard Xteven, he isn't broken! 790's still insane, still in love with Kai, who I might remind you is completely dead now, so nothing can stop that thing from planning to kill us all."
Xteven and Prince looked at eachother in response to Stan's Statement. Both Smirking.
"He has no reason to, either Stan." She smiled and continued on her way to her Moth.
The Moth Chitterd as it raised up off the landing platform, down to the stomache of the Little Lexx. 790's lit eyes and mouth were seen clearly as Xev picked the robot head up from the stomache walls
"XEV! You're Alive! Oh WOE IS ME!!! Kai is dead and you're still alive! There is No Justice in the Universe!!!"
"Shut up, tin can" said Xev, she looked away for a moment...I sounded just like Stan then. Xev Thought.
"Oooooooh I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You ...." 790 carried on like that as Xev flew back up to the landing strip of the Bridge.
"...I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STANLEY TWEEDLE!!!! WHY WHY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP BREATHING?!?!"
"Great to see you too, 790" Stan scoffed, sarcastically, of course.
Xteven laughed "Man, it has been a long time since I've seen Seva Nightee in Robot Head Form!"
"Seva Nightee?" Stan said
"Well the answer for that is also in the story. We just got out of the western part of the Galaxy when we came apon the Noah..."
(Insert Flashback Effect Here)
A 19 year old Xteven, the only thing different about him is the absence of a Goatee and Kai's Brace. 790 was beside him. Xteven Stood on the command platform Stanley built shortly before finding the deserted planet.
"...And my heart will never heal...My Poem is finished." said 790
"...Finished?"
"Yes, son of Scum. I have recited all 10 Thousand Trillion Lines of my Poem. My Tribute to Kai is done, but will never be forgotton, just as my Love for Kai will go on forever."
"You know in all those lines, 790, I haven't learned one single thing about this "Kai" guy."
"I knew you were listening, and if I told you anything about my stiff you'd try to steal him away from me."
"How could I steal him away? according to My Mother, Kai was completely destroyed by the HiggsBosen partical Accelorator. What am I gonna do? find the planet you destroyed and look for that ultra-dense partical and put it in my pocket and keep it from you?"
"AAHH! You Fiend! I should push you off the Bridge right now!" Suddenly 790 began to sing "oooooohhhh If I only had a body I'd be more than just a head, I would go right to Xteven Tweedle and STRANGLE him till he's dead!"
"And then you'll fall in love with me."
"You wish, Tweedle."
Xteven looked out the many eyes of the Little Lexx seeing a floating vessle, with the artwork of a very muscular dark-skinned man with a large member tucked inside a tight yellow undergarment painted on the side.
"Jeez that ship is Huge!" exclaimed Xteven "What is it?"
"It is a large space craft made from materials garnered from a Type-13 Planet in it's final stages." said 790 "I have scanned the craft and there are 17 dead female corpses, 1 dead male corpse, and 1 female in cryosleep"
"Is the woman in Cryostasis alive?"
"Typical Tweedle" 790 sighed "yes the Female is alive. I still suggest you use this inferior ship as target practice"
"I want to check this place out first."
"I'd rather suggest you didn't"
"why not?"
"The fumes from all the dead bodies have become extremely toxic. Were you to inhale it you'd puke out all of those nasty organs you have inside you."
"One thing that Xteven K Tweedle is, is full of Suprises. I picked up some biosuits last year. For an advanced piece of technology, you have a very bad blind spot. You never noticed I had these?"
"I try not to look at you at all. The fact that Stan breeded alone makes me want to self destruct, if I had such an Option."
"Awww so nice to know you care."
"Ok, I'm the one with the Blind Spot?!"
"You're coming with me, Robot head"
"I have no desire to go to that ship."
"And I have no desire to accidently break the cryopod, because I'm going to take it. And you will help me properly dismantle it by giving me instructions."
"Even though you're more brave and intelligent than Stan, you're still nothing but a Tweedle and Tweedles are utterly useless!"
Xteven and 790 rode off in the both to the Noah, after opening the hatchway, Xteven quickly put of the helmet of his biosuit, carrying 790 under his arm. They walked through the Noah, skipping over dead decomposing bodies, many of them were formerly attractive young blond women with short skirts, as they came closer to the cryochambers of the Noah, they spotted another dead woman, only this one had short brown hair and a sequined dress. and was not decomposing like all the others.
"A Cyborg" said 790
"I Thought Type-13 planets were primitive."
"They are. So this means this Cyborganic Slut did not come from the planet."
Xteven clicked a button, opening a refridgerator-type drawer chock-full of delicious food
"Plenty of food...obviously they didn't die of Starvation." exclaimed Xteven
They walked into the cryo room, seeing 3 Identical Cryochambers, only one occupied.
"The cryosleep pods are identical to the ones used on the old Lexx."
"How would people from a Type-13 planet build things like these?"
"With help from a WONDERFUL dead man and his robot head lover." 790 boasted.
"Should've known you had a hand in this...figurativly speaking. Well, let's get the empty ones unhooked and back onto the Lexx."
"The Cryopods are all hooked up to the same mechanism, and we'll need the mechanism for the cryopods to work. So all or nothing, Tweedle Twerp."
Xteven sighed as he went to the cryopod control panel. "Which button do I press to release the girl?"
"Why would you want to do that? everyone here is dead except for her, which can only mean she killed everyone on board. I say let her freeze dry."
"I'm not going to do that, 790, Now what button do I press...wait these buttons are color coded. Red Zone, Green Zone, Yellow Zone"
Xteven pressed the yellow button leading it up to the Yellow Cryopod which had the woman inside. The door opened to reveal a gothy-looking woman, with black everything, lips, eyeliner, disheveled clothes, her hair was straightened down and cut to neck length. She opened her eyes, to look at Xteven, then put her hand up to her face"
"GOD, WHAT REEKS?!"
Xteven came up to her, and handed her the extra BioSuit.
"My name is Xteven, I just came for the cryopods."
The woman finished putting the BioSuit on and looked up at Xteven, in a sultry sullen voice "I am Lomia"
"Did you kill everyone?"
"Everyone's Dead??...Cool..."
"Smooth Observation, you overmade-up whore" 790 rolled it's digitized eyes at her
"Who's the Can?"
"790. he helped build this ship."
"heh...I stowed away. I didn't even know we left the Earth...I was in here the whole time. How long have I been out?"
"Approxamitly 21 years 3 months 18 days 4 hours and 16.87 seconds." 790 calculated
"Yikes, I'm older than my parents!" Lomia
"Where are they?" Xteven asked
"They died. They got probed in the ass by these walking carrots, it was funny" Lomia laughed
"Wierd planet..." Xteven said "All right, 790, if you would care to assist me?"
"I would not care to do anything except mourn for my dead man"
Xteven picked up a large book "Lomia...can you read this?"
"Can't you?" Lomia said, disdainfully
"No, I grew up on a planet that had no books except for this one called "Life of Joy""
"Ugh...that book sucks." Lomia spouted. "It says 'Instructional manual for the assembly and disassembly of the cryochambers, by Dr. H. Longbore.'"
"Oooh, this means I won't need your help, Robot head"
"I think not, for that moron learned the instructions from yours truly and I doubt he has every single bit of in--"
Just then a womanly fist caved in 790's head, smashing it to pieces.
"I kill you both in the name of His Devine Shadow" the cyborganic woman said in an erie electronic voice.
Lomia and Xteven were frozen in terror as the antagonist charged towards them, sharp spiked extending from her closed fists, but just then, the Cyberwoman hunched over, a powering down sound heard. There was a man standing behind her, with short blond spiky hair adorned with male pattern baldness, a regal type with a ring in the middle of his bottom lip, and a great overall tan on his face.
"My My..." Prince said as he examined the spiked fists of the cybergirl "That would've hurt a lot."
"Who are you?" Xteven asked after a long silence
"I am Prince, " He bowed to both "...Are you not going to thank me for saving your lives?"
"Th...Thank you, Prince"
Prince leered at Xteven, his clothes sparking a memory in Prince's mind "You remind me of someone, boy...What is your name?"
"Xteven Tweedle, I...I am the captain of the Lexx"
"That's impossible, I saw the Lexx die, I see everyone in the universe that dies. I saw everyone in this ship die, and the Lexx, which was a living thing, also died. So you're lying."
"It's a New Lexx, born right after the old one died."
"Well then...if you're the captain...then where is the key?"
Xteven showed his right hand, which shined a glowing blue. Prince's mouth gaped open.
"So it is true...You are the captain...Where is this "new Lexx"?"
"Outside."
"You don't like talking much, do you, Steven Tweedle?"
"It's ZZT-even, Xteven Tweedle."
Lomia, who was still staring at Xteven after he showed the key finally spoke up "You HAVE to show me how you do that"
Xteven looked at the smashed bits of 790, seeing an odd pink box in the middle of all the rubble.
"What is that?" Xteven asked to himself
"Looks like a piece of human brain. What is a piece of brain doing inside a Robot head?" Lomia replied.
Xteven looked at the rubble and then to the downed cyberwoman, he smirked "I got an Idea."
Hours later, Xteven was fiddling around inside the Cyberwoman's head, taking out certain pieces and placing parts from 790 inside.
"Tell me Xteven, how is it that you know what you're doing?" Prince asked
"I don't know...When I look at it it feels like I know exactly what to do."
Prince smirked "What if I were to tell you that I know what is happening to you?"
"And how would you know?"
"I am Death, personified."
Xteven stopped his work and looked at Prince awkwardly
"When someone is about to die, they see a face, My face, and when they die and come over to the other side. I am there to welcome them. I welcomed your mother and father Xteven. As well as their dead friend Kai. Kai is telling your mind how to do what you're doing now. Fixing the Robot Head, that is what I am here, I am the doorway Kai can use to communicate with you."
"How is it that Kai can even see me?"
"Well...I am the Prince of death...you can call him "The King of Death"."
"King Kai...that's a wierd name."
Xteven resumed his work, in a few more hours Xteven was finished. he moved behind the cyberwoman to pull her back upright from her hunched position. Lomia was in front of her seeing her eyes already opened, staring at her, the eyes began to move, staring at Lomia, until finally the cyberwoman spoke.
"I will Love you forever."
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Chapter 2 is done...woo this took a long time. Hope you all like it. if I get more good reviews I will continue on. Until next time...
Cheerie Bye
Chapter 2: Last of the Noah.
"So what happened next?" asked Xev
"Well, it was 10 years later, I think...I calculated a year every time 790 said th--."
"790? He's here?!" Stan said "I thought he disintergrated along with the rest of the old Lexx!"
"Apparently not, he told me that as soon as the Little Lexx was born, it gobbled him up, but it could not digest him." replied Xteven
"790 must still be in the stomache of the Little Lexx" Xev said, she stood up and headed towards her Moth.
"W-Wait a second, Xev! You are not bringing that Robot Head back up here, not until we find some kind of hammer or club so I can smash that thing to pieces!" Stan Demanded
"Since when do I listen to you? He might be broken now. We can fix him up but blind him so he doesn't fall in love with anyone."
"You just heard Xteven, he isn't broken! 790's still insane, still in love with Kai, who I might remind you is completely dead now, so nothing can stop that thing from planning to kill us all."
Xteven and Prince looked at eachother in response to Stan's Statement. Both Smirking.
"He has no reason to, either Stan." She smiled and continued on her way to her Moth.
The Moth Chitterd as it raised up off the landing platform, down to the stomache of the Little Lexx. 790's lit eyes and mouth were seen clearly as Xev picked the robot head up from the stomache walls
"XEV! You're Alive! Oh WOE IS ME!!! Kai is dead and you're still alive! There is No Justice in the Universe!!!"
"Shut up, tin can" said Xev, she looked away for a moment...I sounded just like Stan then. Xev Thought.
"Oooooooh I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You ...." 790 carried on like that as Xev flew back up to the landing strip of the Bridge.
"...I Hate You I Hate You I Hate You NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STANLEY TWEEDLE!!!! WHY WHY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP BREATHING?!?!"
"Great to see you too, 790" Stan scoffed, sarcastically, of course.
Xteven laughed "Man, it has been a long time since I've seen Seva Nightee in Robot Head Form!"
"Seva Nightee?" Stan said
"Well the answer for that is also in the story. We just got out of the western part of the Galaxy when we came apon the Noah..."
(Insert Flashback Effect Here)
A 19 year old Xteven, the only thing different about him is the absence of a Goatee and Kai's Brace. 790 was beside him. Xteven Stood on the command platform Stanley built shortly before finding the deserted planet.
"...And my heart will never heal...My Poem is finished." said 790
"...Finished?"
"Yes, son of Scum. I have recited all 10 Thousand Trillion Lines of my Poem. My Tribute to Kai is done, but will never be forgotton, just as my Love for Kai will go on forever."
"You know in all those lines, 790, I haven't learned one single thing about this "Kai" guy."
"I knew you were listening, and if I told you anything about my stiff you'd try to steal him away from me."
"How could I steal him away? according to My Mother, Kai was completely destroyed by the HiggsBosen partical Accelorator. What am I gonna do? find the planet you destroyed and look for that ultra-dense partical and put it in my pocket and keep it from you?"
"AAHH! You Fiend! I should push you off the Bridge right now!" Suddenly 790 began to sing "oooooohhhh If I only had a body I'd be more than just a head, I would go right to Xteven Tweedle and STRANGLE him till he's dead!"
"And then you'll fall in love with me."
"You wish, Tweedle."
Xteven looked out the many eyes of the Little Lexx seeing a floating vessle, with the artwork of a very muscular dark-skinned man with a large member tucked inside a tight yellow undergarment painted on the side.
"Jeez that ship is Huge!" exclaimed Xteven "What is it?"
"It is a large space craft made from materials garnered from a Type-13 Planet in it's final stages." said 790 "I have scanned the craft and there are 17 dead female corpses, 1 dead male corpse, and 1 female in cryosleep"
"Is the woman in Cryostasis alive?"
"Typical Tweedle" 790 sighed "yes the Female is alive. I still suggest you use this inferior ship as target practice"
"I want to check this place out first."
"I'd rather suggest you didn't"
"why not?"
"The fumes from all the dead bodies have become extremely toxic. Were you to inhale it you'd puke out all of those nasty organs you have inside you."
"One thing that Xteven K Tweedle is, is full of Suprises. I picked up some biosuits last year. For an advanced piece of technology, you have a very bad blind spot. You never noticed I had these?"
"I try not to look at you at all. The fact that Stan breeded alone makes me want to self destruct, if I had such an Option."
"Awww so nice to know you care."
"Ok, I'm the one with the Blind Spot?!"
"You're coming with me, Robot head"
"I have no desire to go to that ship."
"And I have no desire to accidently break the cryopod, because I'm going to take it. And you will help me properly dismantle it by giving me instructions."
"Even though you're more brave and intelligent than Stan, you're still nothing but a Tweedle and Tweedles are utterly useless!"
Xteven and 790 rode off in the both to the Noah, after opening the hatchway, Xteven quickly put of the helmet of his biosuit, carrying 790 under his arm. They walked through the Noah, skipping over dead decomposing bodies, many of them were formerly attractive young blond women with short skirts, as they came closer to the cryochambers of the Noah, they spotted another dead woman, only this one had short brown hair and a sequined dress. and was not decomposing like all the others.
"A Cyborg" said 790
"I Thought Type-13 planets were primitive."
"They are. So this means this Cyborganic Slut did not come from the planet."
Xteven clicked a button, opening a refridgerator-type drawer chock-full of delicious food
"Plenty of food...obviously they didn't die of Starvation." exclaimed Xteven
They walked into the cryo room, seeing 3 Identical Cryochambers, only one occupied.
"The cryosleep pods are identical to the ones used on the old Lexx."
"How would people from a Type-13 planet build things like these?"
"With help from a WONDERFUL dead man and his robot head lover." 790 boasted.
"Should've known you had a hand in this...figurativly speaking. Well, let's get the empty ones unhooked and back onto the Lexx."
"The Cryopods are all hooked up to the same mechanism, and we'll need the mechanism for the cryopods to work. So all or nothing, Tweedle Twerp."
Xteven sighed as he went to the cryopod control panel. "Which button do I press to release the girl?"
"Why would you want to do that? everyone here is dead except for her, which can only mean she killed everyone on board. I say let her freeze dry."
"I'm not going to do that, 790, Now what button do I press...wait these buttons are color coded. Red Zone, Green Zone, Yellow Zone"
Xteven pressed the yellow button leading it up to the Yellow Cryopod which had the woman inside. The door opened to reveal a gothy-looking woman, with black everything, lips, eyeliner, disheveled clothes, her hair was straightened down and cut to neck length. She opened her eyes, to look at Xteven, then put her hand up to her face"
"GOD, WHAT REEKS?!"
Xteven came up to her, and handed her the extra BioSuit.
"My name is Xteven, I just came for the cryopods."
The woman finished putting the BioSuit on and looked up at Xteven, in a sultry sullen voice "I am Lomia"
"Did you kill everyone?"
"Everyone's Dead??...Cool..."
"Smooth Observation, you overmade-up whore" 790 rolled it's digitized eyes at her
"Who's the Can?"
"790. he helped build this ship."
"heh...I stowed away. I didn't even know we left the Earth...I was in here the whole time. How long have I been out?"
"Approxamitly 21 years 3 months 18 days 4 hours and 16.87 seconds." 790 calculated
"Yikes, I'm older than my parents!" Lomia
"Where are they?" Xteven asked
"They died. They got probed in the ass by these walking carrots, it was funny" Lomia laughed
"Wierd planet..." Xteven said "All right, 790, if you would care to assist me?"
"I would not care to do anything except mourn for my dead man"
Xteven picked up a large book "Lomia...can you read this?"
"Can't you?" Lomia said, disdainfully
"No, I grew up on a planet that had no books except for this one called "Life of Joy""
"Ugh...that book sucks." Lomia spouted. "It says 'Instructional manual for the assembly and disassembly of the cryochambers, by Dr. H. Longbore.'"
"Oooh, this means I won't need your help, Robot head"
"I think not, for that moron learned the instructions from yours truly and I doubt he has every single bit of in--"
Just then a womanly fist caved in 790's head, smashing it to pieces.
"I kill you both in the name of His Devine Shadow" the cyborganic woman said in an erie electronic voice.
Lomia and Xteven were frozen in terror as the antagonist charged towards them, sharp spiked extending from her closed fists, but just then, the Cyberwoman hunched over, a powering down sound heard. There was a man standing behind her, with short blond spiky hair adorned with male pattern baldness, a regal type with a ring in the middle of his bottom lip, and a great overall tan on his face.
"My My..." Prince said as he examined the spiked fists of the cybergirl "That would've hurt a lot."
"Who are you?" Xteven asked after a long silence
"I am Prince, " He bowed to both "...Are you not going to thank me for saving your lives?"
"Th...Thank you, Prince"
Prince leered at Xteven, his clothes sparking a memory in Prince's mind "You remind me of someone, boy...What is your name?"
"Xteven Tweedle, I...I am the captain of the Lexx"
"That's impossible, I saw the Lexx die, I see everyone in the universe that dies. I saw everyone in this ship die, and the Lexx, which was a living thing, also died. So you're lying."
"It's a New Lexx, born right after the old one died."
"Well then...if you're the captain...then where is the key?"
Xteven showed his right hand, which shined a glowing blue. Prince's mouth gaped open.
"So it is true...You are the captain...Where is this "new Lexx"?"
"Outside."
"You don't like talking much, do you, Steven Tweedle?"
"It's ZZT-even, Xteven Tweedle."
Lomia, who was still staring at Xteven after he showed the key finally spoke up "You HAVE to show me how you do that"
Xteven looked at the smashed bits of 790, seeing an odd pink box in the middle of all the rubble.
"What is that?" Xteven asked to himself
"Looks like a piece of human brain. What is a piece of brain doing inside a Robot head?" Lomia replied.
Xteven looked at the rubble and then to the downed cyberwoman, he smirked "I got an Idea."
Hours later, Xteven was fiddling around inside the Cyberwoman's head, taking out certain pieces and placing parts from 790 inside.
"Tell me Xteven, how is it that you know what you're doing?" Prince asked
"I don't know...When I look at it it feels like I know exactly what to do."
Prince smirked "What if I were to tell you that I know what is happening to you?"
"And how would you know?"
"I am Death, personified."
Xteven stopped his work and looked at Prince awkwardly
"When someone is about to die, they see a face, My face, and when they die and come over to the other side. I am there to welcome them. I welcomed your mother and father Xteven. As well as their dead friend Kai. Kai is telling your mind how to do what you're doing now. Fixing the Robot Head, that is what I am here, I am the doorway Kai can use to communicate with you."
"How is it that Kai can even see me?"
"Well...I am the Prince of death...you can call him "The King of Death"."
"King Kai...that's a wierd name."
Xteven resumed his work, in a few more hours Xteven was finished. he moved behind the cyberwoman to pull her back upright from her hunched position. Lomia was in front of her seeing her eyes already opened, staring at her, the eyes began to move, staring at Lomia, until finally the cyberwoman spoke.
"I will Love you forever."
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Chapter 2 is done...woo this took a long time. Hope you all like it. if I get more good reviews I will continue on. Until next time...
Cheerie Bye