Lexx 5.0: Xteven's Tale
Chapter 3: Seva Nightee
"That should do it." Xteven proclaimed
"Oh my little raven beauty, you look absolutely ravishing!" The cyber woman cried out
ZZT! Back to the present
"Wait wait wait!" 790 shouted "you're lying! There's no way I'd fall in love with that Goth slut! My Kai has not been mourned over properly; it was too soon to go on!"
"Your programme was reset, Seva! That love slave programming reset when I put your data cards and piece of brain into the cyborg. Therefore you forgot all about Kai and Xev and Stan and everyone else prior to when your can caved." Xteven explained.
"YOU FIEND! HOW COULD YOU?! YOU MADE ME FORGET ABOUT KAI?! OHHHH I HOPE MY NEW BODY STRANGLED YOU SENSELESS!!!" 790 then showed with his eye screens a picture of Xteven's head being pummeled between two hammers over and over again.
"Well, long story short, the new 790 fell in love with Lomia, and I just finished carrying the cryopods to the Lexx. I came back to the Noah to pick up you and Lomia when."
"Oh GEEZ!" Xteven cried out from the sight he saw: the cyberwoman, Lomia, a soft, long probe, you get the picture.
"Do you Mind??" Lomia shouted then gave Xteven a sultry look. "Or perhaps you'd like to join us?"
"No thank you!" the cyberwoman said. "I work alone!"
"Oh come on, Hon, it might be fun." Lomia pouted
"Something about that.man just rubs me the wrong way."
"Well I can see not all of your memory is erased. Shall we be off? Unless you've taken a liking to the wonderful stench in here."
Lomia threw the cyberwoman from off the top of her body. "No thank you! Let's get the hell out of here!"
"But wait my dark seductress! I'm not finished yet! There are still 15 more attachments to use! I found a vacuum suction hose beneath my left breast!" the cyberwoman then looked over at the crumbled and shattered 790 head shell and promptly screamed in terror.
Back on the Lexx.
"Hey." The cyberwoman said as she looked at the reflective eyes of the Lexx's hull. "I recognize this body."
"Oh really?" Xteven asked "Who?"
"It once belonged to a woman named Squeeze Pimel, a line girl assigned to a way station for clerics on planet B1B in the Light Universe. She was Executed for seducing a young cleric and sentenced to have her organs taken out for purposes that served His Shadow, her organs were to feed the Lexx and a piece of her brain was used to make the connection between a human body and a 790 head.oh my."
"What?" Lomia woke up "The history lesson over?"
"The piece of brain.the brain in my head was Squeeze's brain.I have my body back! I know who I am!!!"
"Squeeze Pimel?" Xteven asked "I like 790 better"
"I am no longer a 790 robot anymore Tweedle! I can not be called that anymore!"
"Fine. 'Seva Nightee' then."
"DIE TWEEDLE!!!" Seva lunged at Xteven ready to put a knife in his throat, but all that came out of Seva's hand was a condom.
"Oh yeah, I took out all the weapons in your new body and replaced it with contraceptives and sex toys. Lomia's idea.
"Yes," said Lomia "Now come Squeeze, so that I may put your name to good use."
"I will deal with you later, Male. Right now, my Lady Lover needs service." Seva jumped off of Xteven and followed Lomia off of the bridge."
"So what happened next?" asked Xev
"A whole lot of nothing until Xteven's death at the hands of-" Pince replied until Xteven interrupted.
"I hate interruptions, I'm telling the story."
"Prince, do I kill him? Please say I killed him, please say it was gruesome, painful and agonizing for him!" 790 cried out
"No Seva, you didn't kill me."
If Seva didn't kill Xteven, who did?? Once again, you won't believe what I have in store for the next tale. I'll give you a hint: Kai will be in it. Until Next Time, May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you.
Chapter 3: Seva Nightee
"That should do it." Xteven proclaimed
"Oh my little raven beauty, you look absolutely ravishing!" The cyber woman cried out
ZZT! Back to the present
"Wait wait wait!" 790 shouted "you're lying! There's no way I'd fall in love with that Goth slut! My Kai has not been mourned over properly; it was too soon to go on!"
"Your programme was reset, Seva! That love slave programming reset when I put your data cards and piece of brain into the cyborg. Therefore you forgot all about Kai and Xev and Stan and everyone else prior to when your can caved." Xteven explained.
"YOU FIEND! HOW COULD YOU?! YOU MADE ME FORGET ABOUT KAI?! OHHHH I HOPE MY NEW BODY STRANGLED YOU SENSELESS!!!" 790 then showed with his eye screens a picture of Xteven's head being pummeled between two hammers over and over again.
"Well, long story short, the new 790 fell in love with Lomia, and I just finished carrying the cryopods to the Lexx. I came back to the Noah to pick up you and Lomia when."
"Oh GEEZ!" Xteven cried out from the sight he saw: the cyberwoman, Lomia, a soft, long probe, you get the picture.
"Do you Mind??" Lomia shouted then gave Xteven a sultry look. "Or perhaps you'd like to join us?"
"No thank you!" the cyberwoman said. "I work alone!"
"Oh come on, Hon, it might be fun." Lomia pouted
"Something about that.man just rubs me the wrong way."
"Well I can see not all of your memory is erased. Shall we be off? Unless you've taken a liking to the wonderful stench in here."
Lomia threw the cyberwoman from off the top of her body. "No thank you! Let's get the hell out of here!"
"But wait my dark seductress! I'm not finished yet! There are still 15 more attachments to use! I found a vacuum suction hose beneath my left breast!" the cyberwoman then looked over at the crumbled and shattered 790 head shell and promptly screamed in terror.
Back on the Lexx.
"Hey." The cyberwoman said as she looked at the reflective eyes of the Lexx's hull. "I recognize this body."
"Oh really?" Xteven asked "Who?"
"It once belonged to a woman named Squeeze Pimel, a line girl assigned to a way station for clerics on planet B1B in the Light Universe. She was Executed for seducing a young cleric and sentenced to have her organs taken out for purposes that served His Shadow, her organs were to feed the Lexx and a piece of her brain was used to make the connection between a human body and a 790 head.oh my."
"What?" Lomia woke up "The history lesson over?"
"The piece of brain.the brain in my head was Squeeze's brain.I have my body back! I know who I am!!!"
"Squeeze Pimel?" Xteven asked "I like 790 better"
"I am no longer a 790 robot anymore Tweedle! I can not be called that anymore!"
"Fine. 'Seva Nightee' then."
"DIE TWEEDLE!!!" Seva lunged at Xteven ready to put a knife in his throat, but all that came out of Seva's hand was a condom.
"Oh yeah, I took out all the weapons in your new body and replaced it with contraceptives and sex toys. Lomia's idea.
"Yes," said Lomia "Now come Squeeze, so that I may put your name to good use."
"I will deal with you later, Male. Right now, my Lady Lover needs service." Seva jumped off of Xteven and followed Lomia off of the bridge."
"So what happened next?" asked Xev
"A whole lot of nothing until Xteven's death at the hands of-" Pince replied until Xteven interrupted.
"I hate interruptions, I'm telling the story."
"Prince, do I kill him? Please say I killed him, please say it was gruesome, painful and agonizing for him!" 790 cried out
"No Seva, you didn't kill me."
If Seva didn't kill Xteven, who did?? Once again, you won't believe what I have in store for the next tale. I'll give you a hint: Kai will be in it. Until Next Time, May His Merciful Shadow fall upon you.