Chapter Thirteen:




"Oooh! Mac and Cheese!" Karen exclaimed excitedly. "I love Mac and Cheese!"
"I don't." David Michael said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "The cheese sticks to the sides of your mouth and between your teeth--" Gag me, David Michael. "--and besides, I think that it should be called 'Cheese and Macaroni'!"
This is my personal theory about why world peace can never be attained. Not enough people like Macaroni and Cheese (or vice-versa, in David Michael's case) and too little people love pizza.
All right, so I exaggerate. But I was at the end of my rope--it was like this all day. Karen and David Michael were at each other's throats from the moment they walked through the door. Andrew was an angel. He just sat quietly while the thunder rolled around him.
"That's it!" I shouted above the noise. "It's obvious you two are finished with your dinners--go up to bed!"
"NO!" the two exclaimed in unison.
"We'll be good." Karen declared.
"We promise!" Confirmed David Michael.
"Well..." I said, pretending to weigh the whole idea. "Okay. But you better keep your promise."
"We will." They answered.
We finished up our dinner without any more squabbles and I sent them up to get ready for bed. An hour later, just as I was finishing up their bedtime stories, mom and Watson came home. They didn't say much to me, just hurried up to their room, looking excited and happy. My eyes followed them curiously as the door closed and, I couldn't help myself, I went back upstairs and pressed my ear against the door.
"When should we tell the kids, honey?" Watson's voice.
"Right now, no, maybe tomorrow night--or morning? I don't know." Mom said. "Oh, what are they going to think? They'll think I'm too old. It'll be ridiculous."
"Elizabeth, you're pregnant. You're not trying to be a rock star--that would be ridiculous..."
Their conversation went on, but I was dazed. Mom was pregnant? My heart stopped. I was going to have another sibling in the house! I couldn't believe it. I immediately began to think about where we could go shopping for the new baby's clothes. I even rearranged my entire schedule to fit into the baby's own. I was so excited that I hopped down the stairs and twirled around the living room.
In the middle of a turn (what Jessi Ramsey would call a 'pirouette') the phone rang. I picked it up energetically. I would be lucky if it were one of my friends--I needed someone to talk to--I didn't think I would be able to go to bed tonight even if I were given a million dollars.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hello? Kristy?" Cary!
"Hey, Cary! What's up?"
"Oh...nothing...just...nothing. What about you? You seem--"
"Oh, Cary, the best thing has just happened!" I exclaimed.
A pause on the other end before he said, "Oh? Really?"
"Yes! We're pregnant!"
"WHAT?!" Cary exclaimed, shocked. "But--but, I mean, last night--our first?--you couldn't possibly be--"
"Oh no, not US, Cary. My family--my MOTHER." I explained and I could practically hear his relief on his side.
I laughed a little. "You seem a little preoccupied."
"No, it's nothing." He said softly.
"Listen, you have to help me go shopping for my new sister or brother!" I told him.
"Well, sure--I'd be happy to."
"Great."
"I'll--I'll meet you at the...mall? Tomorrow?"
"Whatever floats your boat."
I imagine him smiling a little, but for some reason I feel it's probably a wistful smile. I push the image away and sigh.
"Oh, by the way, why did you call me?"
"What? Oh nothing, just...I...I just wanted to tell you good night, I guess." After a beat, "Um...good night."
"Good night, Cary." I said, shaking my head.



I carefully peruse a pair of yellow baby booties on a rack as I pass by. Yellow is the perfect color to buy a new born (especially if you don't even know what it's going to be), it's neutral. I pick the booties up and show Cary.
"What do you think?" I ask him.
"It's a little small for you, don't you think?" he says.
I push him away a little and place them back. "I thought you were going to be helpful."
"I AM being helpful--I don't know how yet, but I'll figure it out if you give me a minute."
He's joking again. But for some reason it doesn't seem like it comes out easily. I met up with him at the food court this morning and he seemed happy to see me, but also a little uneasy. We ended up shopping two days after the scheduled date because he kept having important errands to run. I wrung my hands for nearly ten minutes before I was able to start feeling comfortable with him again. Cary tried to ease up too, but I could tell his uneasiness was far too immense for it to just go away.
We walked around a little before I purchased a little yellow jumpsuit with periwinkle stars on it. We ambled around the mall for a half hour, not saying much. Cary told me how Ben and Stieg were doing and I told them about my baby-sitting job at the Barrett-Dewitts. He laughed when I told him about Lindsey's crush. He genuinely seemed to loosen up. That all ended when I wanted to check out Cheap-o Music.
I looked around at some CDs for baby music but Cary hung back, so much that he was practically by the door the entire time I shopped.
"Sorry." I reply as I pay for two CDs, one by Beethoven and another by Mozart. "I know guys don't like to shop."
Cary smiles tensely but says nothing. We walk a few feet from the store when I sit down on the bench by the wall.
"Cary, is something wrong?" I ask him.
Cary seems hesitant to answer. "Well...no."
I can tell by the pause between the two words that there IS something wrong. And it also has something to do with me.
"Really?" I raise an eyebrow at him and stand up. "You've been kind of quiet ever since we met up."
Cary turns away, as if repulsed by me. I shrink away, feeling a little hurt. What is up with him? And why won't he tell me?
"Why don't we get something to eat?" I say.
Cary turns back and smiles. A forced smile. Part of me wants to rip it of his face, part of me wants to look away.
"I'm not really hungry, Kristy." He says.
"Oh...oh, well that's okay." I tell him. "Why don't we--"
"Why don't we call it a day?" He suggests hurriedly.
I may not be a sophisticated, experienced person, but I CAN tell when someone doesn't want to be around me. I raise my eyebrows suspiciously.
"Are you tired?"
"No."
"Have a previous engagement?"
"...NO."
"Then WHAT'S going on?" I ask him. "Maybe I can help."
"No, Kristy, you've done enough." He says. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he looks like he wants to pull them back. As if he just said something he shouldn't have. And he shouldn't have.
"What do you mean by that?" I demand.
"Nothing." He tells me. "Just forget I said anything."
"Cary, please!" I say, reaching for his arm.
He pulls away. "Kristy, would you please lower your voice?"
"No I won't." I tell him. "Not until you tell me what the hell's the matter with you."
Cary looks around at all the people that have begun to look at us and he sighs. When he turns to me, his eyes seem glassy and twinkle with something...tears?
"Kristy...I...I think..." He stops abruptly then starts again. "This isn't going to work."
"The mall? That's fine. We can leave--"
"NO. Not our location. Our relationship. It won't work."
I stare at him, dumbfounded. Wasn't it just a few nights ago that we reached the pinnacle of a couple's relationship? The milestone that clearly shows that your relationship IS working? My heart sinks and I feel my nose begin to stink. I'm pretty sure it's turning bright pink and I look more like Mary Anne now than I ever did in my entire life. There's a lump in my throat as I try to speak, it's difficult to talk so I squeeze out just one word, "Why?"
Cary looks away, leaning over the railing. He takes a few deep breaths and shakes his head, I can't help but notice that his entire body is shaking.
"Kristy, let me be honest with you...I didn't have any errands to run the past two days. I was thinking about us...REALLY thinking, Kristy... and I've...I've come to the conclusion that it just won't work."
"Give me one reason why it won't work!" I demand passionately, not caring that I'm making it obvious that I'm the one being dumped.
"It's a matter of morals and values, that's all. Beliefs, Kristy...I don't think you're the type of girl I should be...associating with..."
Cary looks pained but at the moment I feel no pity. Only anger and sadness. HOW can Cary SAY this?! Doesn't he know I'd do anything for him? We were hardly moving fast in our decisions...morals and values? What does he mean by THAT? Does he think I'm easy or something?
"Cary..." I say, tears falling down my cheeks now. "Isn't there some way--? What have I done?"
Cary looks at me sadly at first but then his eyes narrow and he looks positively livid. "You never told me that you used to date Alan--or half of the male population in Stoneybrook for that matter."
My mind goes blank and I feel like laughing for a moment. Why would he think that Alan and I were actually serious? Two stupid dates--two!--and they meant nothing! And I've had more dentist visits in the past year than boyfriends in my entire lifetime.
"Cary, you're delusional. Who told you that?" I ask him.
"It's not important." Cary snapped, looking hurt. "I thought you told me you were a virgin."
I blush deeply at this because of how loud he said it. "I WAS--"
"Until when?" he cut off. "Until Michel DuMoulin? Or Bart Taylor? Or was it a little more close to home--with Logan or Mr. Fiske?"
"I was a virgin until this week Cary! With YOU! With you and only YOU!" I scold him.
"That's not what I hear..." Cary says finally.
In a last, desperate attempt to salvage what I could of our practically non-existent relationship, I say, "What does it matter? Don't you trust me?"
Cary shakes his head and I feel my heart sink. "I don't know what I trust anymore..."
Our heated spat dwindles to a cold, empty silence until Cary looks at me, his eyes devoid of any feelings whatsoever.
"Good-bye, Kristy..."
Then he leaves. He walks through the crowds, down the escalator and out of my life. I can't believe it happened. But it did.