Disclaimer: Don't own a single thing of Harry Potter - that's all JK
Rowling's stuff. I'm just here to mess with it.
A/N: Okay, this damn story took me a freaking lot of time, and I still don't know if it's any good. All reviews are welcome and appreciated.
A New Insight
Chapter I: Breath and Bad Knowledge
"Shh..."
"What is it?"
"Footsteps. Don't move. Don't breathe."
~*~*~
The night had been one of horror and chaos. Many -- students and teachers alike -- lay now dead in the halls of Hogwarts. He-Who-Musn't-Be-Named and a surprise attack on the once-sheltered school -- safe-haven for Wizards and Mudbloods alike -- launched on October the Thirty-first. Few would live to tell this terrible accounts of the evening. Few would live to see the light of another day. Few would live...
Casualties had not been counted. How many Death Eaters could still be traveling the corridors, searching, scanning for life, or death, or means of torture? How many could still be searching for the Boy Who -- uncertain to many -- Lived? *If* he lived...
It was hoped that his most evil adversary did not.
But nobody could be certain.
And what if Voldemort still stood, and did have him, what then? Would he use his body as means of sustained life? Would Harry Potter become Voldemort? A raven-tressed teenager transformed into a Dark Lord. Emerald eyes once filled with so much joy changed into ruby pools of evil -- a strange feature on so familiar a face, haunted with malice, greed, the will to dominate...
Such, it was learned, had been Voldemort's plan for many years. 'The heir to Slytherin shall not rest until the heir to Gryffindor falls.' He knew that Harry Potter was powerful. And he wanted that power for himself.
'Twas this very grim chance that lead to the crossing of paths between the two greatest minds at Hogwarts.
~*~*~
A dark cloaked figure dashed fretfully through the secret corridors of Hogwarts towards the Battle scene, eager to fight, eager to win, and hoping and praying to any god that existed that he would go unnoticed until he arrived there.
He was not that lucky.
A familiar figure came bolting through the hall towards him, features intense with fear, wand clutched firmly in one hand. "Professor Snape!" she called out.
*Granger*, he groaned inwardly with much annoyance. *I thought as much.*
"Professor Snape, hurry, we must make it to the Great Hall! If we're too late--"
"What?!" he asked frantically, poised exterior paused momentarily.
"Professor, the safe zones! Headmaster Dumbledore instructed us all to reach the safe zones in the Great Hall!" He knew what that meant. He knew that it was too late to go fight.
"Girl, quiet your voice!" he whispered urgently. "The Great Hall is on the other side of the castle!"
"Then where can we go, Sir?"
He thought for a moment, then peered down the hallway behind him "...The dungeons..." he concluded. "Hurry! We must make haste. They could have spies roaming the halls--" But he couldn't finish. Hermione had grabbed his arm fiercely and was dragging him towards the dungeons of the castle...
They were nearly there when a throng of Death Eaters, led, undoubtedly, by Lucius Malfoy, was heard heading towards them. Snape quickly pulled Hermione into a nearby storage closet and put every ward he knew on the door.
"Shh..."
"What is it?"
"Footsteps. Don't move. Don't breathe."
As the two strained to stay still, dark voices could be heard just outside."Where do you s'pose he is, Lucius?"
"No clue," a low, familiar voice drawled. "He obviously hasn't found Potter yet. He could be anywhere."
Inside the closet, the Head girl mentally sighed with relief.
The voices continued on."And what of the traitor, Sir?"
"Well who do you bloody well think we're looking for now, you dolt?! The queen?! Honestly, Avery, your thickness disgusts me."
"But, Sir, what if we can't find him?"
"Do you *doubt* my abilities, Avery?! I have, then, a much better use for you. Avada Kedavra!!" There was a cry and a thud, then silence for a few brief moments. Unconcerned by his actions, Lucius continued. "We *will* find Severus Snape. And he will sincerely regret ever forsaking the likes of us!" There were nervous chuckles.
"And the Mudbloods?"a cautious one asked.
"Kill all the males," Lucius said tightly. "I have a more... *preferable*... use for the females..." The remaining group snickered darkly, and their voices could be heard no more as they disappeared down the hall.
Inside the closet, Hermione Granger was breathless with trepidation.
Severus, however, exhaled deeply, releasing the gasp he hadn't realized was being held.
"Professor?" the girl asked meekly. He moved to exit the tiny chamber, but she blocked him."Professor, no! I won't let you leave!" her voice squeaked in a frenzied whisper.
"Move aside, you foolish girl! It is not your place to tell me what to do! I will leave--"
A look of panic swept her face in the darkness, her body tensed in fear. "No, you mustn't! They will kill you!" She relaxed a little bit as he stepped back. "We can't lose you, Professor. Not to the war. Not to Lucius Malfoy."
"Miss Granger, do not try to hold me back," his voice was a barely audible, but entirley dangerous wisper. "Do you expect me to simply stand here and let them go through with all this? Is it your wish for you and your companions to become slaves to Death Eaters, girl?"
"Don't leave me!" she cried, grabbing hold of his arm. Sobs racked her body as tears poured down her cheeks. "Please..." she whispered. "Please don't..."
Her frantic attitude caused him to yield to her will. She was right, he decided. If he so much as opened the door, they'd both be dead before you could say "Dark Mark." Severus leaned against the wall of the closet. "All right, Miss Granger. But what of Potter?"
She stopped crying to look up at him through the darkness. "I-I do not know, Professor. There's nothing we can do to help him. Defeating Voldemort is... is something he must do on his own. Dumbledore told me that, the first year when Quirrel met him for the stone. Harry... Harry was made for this purpose, we cannot change what is meant to be..."
"Then gods willing he will not fail us..."
"I have faith he will not... After all... you... didn't... fail us. You had it much worse than he most often."
"You assume too much, Granger." He smirked. "The irritating know-it-all disposition ill suits you."
"Oh, then do enlighten me, Professor. What have I 'assumed' wrongly?" Hermione questioned irritably.
"You wouldn't understand," Severus said wearily. "No one understands."
"Oh? Try me."
He sighed. This was not something he wanted to discuss in great length this evening. But, seeing as how they'd be in that closet for quite some time, he decided that she did deserve to know... to know the truth about him, his crimes, and the bane of his being.
"You know, I used to be as confidant as you, Hermione. No worries, really. Not a care in the world. My life was one of quiet and simple elation. Oh, of course, the news of an uprising Dark Lord troubled me, but not as much as one may think.
"I was eighteen when life finally caught up with me.
"For so long before then I had been content, silent, sophisticated. I had been in love, however. And with love, comes a terrible price. Death and pain were all that resulted in the love that I had -- a single-sided 'infatuation,'" he spat the word. "An obsession.
"Unfortunate for me, I picked the wrong woman to be obsessed with. Lily Evans was already taken -- by my most formidable enemy. James Potter and his friends taunted me for years. I was a Slytherin, after all, and what Gryffindor could ever like a Slytherin? So after I graduated Hogwarts, I left with my close friend Lucius. He was off to join the Dark Legion, a fresh recruit to their league. And why should I not as well? The rewards of such services were said to be completely remarkable, and entirely worth giving up everything. So I joined. What else could I do? From the very moment I was sorted into Slytherin, I was damned. Everyone was damned. We never even had the choice.
"For years I followed Voldemort's orders, carrying out his dark deeds, groveling, wearing away to a mindless nothing. We did horrible things to so many. But my job, oh my job was the worst of all. I was the interrogator. It was my duty to gather information from women hostages we'd captured. I would seduce and torture them for hours, in the most horrific ways imaginable, and even in ways unimaginable. On the edge of it all, they would scream and cry and beg for release or death. And once they told me everything they knew, I would give them death. One finds, after many years of expirience, that pleasure is a far better motivator than pain. Oh, of course we could have used Veritaserum. But where's the sport in that?"
Hermione was frozen in disgust. Here this man was, her Professor, her Professor who had hated her since the moment she'd set foot in his classroom, proclaiming to her his darkest of acts, his greatest of sins. "Why are you telling me this?" she whimpered.
He released an impatient huff. "You Gryffindors hide in your little plastic bubble worlds, unaware, oblivious to anything and everything! You have no *idea* how painful it is to see you, day after day, in this perfect little world you've created for yourselves, completely uncaring of the suffering of so many! I know what I've done is wrong, heinous, *satanic*! Don't you wonder why I'm not dead? Don't you wonder why I am not rotting in Azkaban for my felonies?! I am serving to right my wrongs. A spy, forced to suffer pain eternal for the villainies and crimes that I so appallingly committed!" She shuddered. Severus continued as calmly as he could manage.
"After... after about a year in his service, I learned that Lily and James Potter were expecting a son. I told my Master of this, of my past misery and torment at the hands of James and his Marauders. Of my love for Lily who could never be mine. It was decided then, that Voldemort would seek revenge on the Potters, kill James, and bring Lily and the son Harry to us to do what we would with them.
"Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow, planning to carry out what had originally been discussed. But when he discovered that Harry was the last remaining Heir to Gryffindor, everything changed. He killed James and Lily quick and clean, but Harry survived. It was Voldemort's downfall. Harry was deemed the Boy Who Lived, and the Wizarding World rejoiced.
"That was the night I returned to Hogwarts. I could no longer serve Voldemort. My beloved Lily was dead at his hands, but it was my fault. So I went to Dumbledore and begged him to send me to Azkaban, to kill me, to torture me, or worse. I begged him to make me pay for my crimes, too weak to do the deed myself.
"But he didn't. He forgave me. He gave me shelter and kindness and hope. And for that alone I owe him my life. It was then that I became a spy. I vowed to protect all of you, every single one of you, from the corruption of Lord Voldemort. Albus would send me on missions every so often. I would return, battered and bruised and bleeding, in pain from the Cruciatus that Voldemort would... discipline us with. But I didn't mind the pain. I craved the pain. I needed to pay for my sins. Pain was an escape from the horrible world. I was lucky when it caused me to pass out. Oh, blissful darkness! Cold and solitude. It was more than I deserved. Some scars, however, are deeper than skin, and can never be washed off or cut away or faded by burns or anything. Some scars stay with you forever. And besides the Dark Mark, there were many others.
"But whenever I returned from a Dark Revel, Albus, he would heal me. He would sit with me for hours and nurse me back to health. He was so good to me. It often made me wonder why I was spared, why I was given a second chance when others, particularly the ones that I tortured, had been mercilessly cast aside. The cold of the dungeons in which I lived became as cold as my exterior. I secluded myself from everyone except Albus. Of course, the others were kind to me, but kindness has little effect on those who feel they don't deserve it." There was an uneasy silence. "I've been a spy ever since that fateful night nearly sixteen years ago. I've lived through the pain and the torture and the hope and the waiting. I've survived the wars and the struggles. I've kept my mask in place. But tonight the war ended. They know of my betrayal, and they hunt me as we speak. I cannot fear them as you do. I am too numb to know fear. But I will certainly protect those who do fear them. It is my duty. It is my debt." Hermione was completely and utterly breathless. He had suffered so much for them, and received so little thanks for it. She felt sympathy for this man. This tortured, terrible man.
A/N: So. so what do you think about it? Any good? Please review! Flame if you want, I don't care, I just want FEEDBACK! I live on that stuff! Thanks again!
A/N: Okay, this damn story took me a freaking lot of time, and I still don't know if it's any good. All reviews are welcome and appreciated.
A New Insight
Chapter I: Breath and Bad Knowledge
"Shh..."
"What is it?"
"Footsteps. Don't move. Don't breathe."
~*~*~
The night had been one of horror and chaos. Many -- students and teachers alike -- lay now dead in the halls of Hogwarts. He-Who-Musn't-Be-Named and a surprise attack on the once-sheltered school -- safe-haven for Wizards and Mudbloods alike -- launched on October the Thirty-first. Few would live to tell this terrible accounts of the evening. Few would live to see the light of another day. Few would live...
Casualties had not been counted. How many Death Eaters could still be traveling the corridors, searching, scanning for life, or death, or means of torture? How many could still be searching for the Boy Who -- uncertain to many -- Lived? *If* he lived...
It was hoped that his most evil adversary did not.
But nobody could be certain.
And what if Voldemort still stood, and did have him, what then? Would he use his body as means of sustained life? Would Harry Potter become Voldemort? A raven-tressed teenager transformed into a Dark Lord. Emerald eyes once filled with so much joy changed into ruby pools of evil -- a strange feature on so familiar a face, haunted with malice, greed, the will to dominate...
Such, it was learned, had been Voldemort's plan for many years. 'The heir to Slytherin shall not rest until the heir to Gryffindor falls.' He knew that Harry Potter was powerful. And he wanted that power for himself.
'Twas this very grim chance that lead to the crossing of paths between the two greatest minds at Hogwarts.
~*~*~
A dark cloaked figure dashed fretfully through the secret corridors of Hogwarts towards the Battle scene, eager to fight, eager to win, and hoping and praying to any god that existed that he would go unnoticed until he arrived there.
He was not that lucky.
A familiar figure came bolting through the hall towards him, features intense with fear, wand clutched firmly in one hand. "Professor Snape!" she called out.
*Granger*, he groaned inwardly with much annoyance. *I thought as much.*
"Professor Snape, hurry, we must make it to the Great Hall! If we're too late--"
"What?!" he asked frantically, poised exterior paused momentarily.
"Professor, the safe zones! Headmaster Dumbledore instructed us all to reach the safe zones in the Great Hall!" He knew what that meant. He knew that it was too late to go fight.
"Girl, quiet your voice!" he whispered urgently. "The Great Hall is on the other side of the castle!"
"Then where can we go, Sir?"
He thought for a moment, then peered down the hallway behind him "...The dungeons..." he concluded. "Hurry! We must make haste. They could have spies roaming the halls--" But he couldn't finish. Hermione had grabbed his arm fiercely and was dragging him towards the dungeons of the castle...
They were nearly there when a throng of Death Eaters, led, undoubtedly, by Lucius Malfoy, was heard heading towards them. Snape quickly pulled Hermione into a nearby storage closet and put every ward he knew on the door.
"Shh..."
"What is it?"
"Footsteps. Don't move. Don't breathe."
As the two strained to stay still, dark voices could be heard just outside."Where do you s'pose he is, Lucius?"
"No clue," a low, familiar voice drawled. "He obviously hasn't found Potter yet. He could be anywhere."
Inside the closet, the Head girl mentally sighed with relief.
The voices continued on."And what of the traitor, Sir?"
"Well who do you bloody well think we're looking for now, you dolt?! The queen?! Honestly, Avery, your thickness disgusts me."
"But, Sir, what if we can't find him?"
"Do you *doubt* my abilities, Avery?! I have, then, a much better use for you. Avada Kedavra!!" There was a cry and a thud, then silence for a few brief moments. Unconcerned by his actions, Lucius continued. "We *will* find Severus Snape. And he will sincerely regret ever forsaking the likes of us!" There were nervous chuckles.
"And the Mudbloods?"a cautious one asked.
"Kill all the males," Lucius said tightly. "I have a more... *preferable*... use for the females..." The remaining group snickered darkly, and their voices could be heard no more as they disappeared down the hall.
Inside the closet, Hermione Granger was breathless with trepidation.
Severus, however, exhaled deeply, releasing the gasp he hadn't realized was being held.
"Professor?" the girl asked meekly. He moved to exit the tiny chamber, but she blocked him."Professor, no! I won't let you leave!" her voice squeaked in a frenzied whisper.
"Move aside, you foolish girl! It is not your place to tell me what to do! I will leave--"
A look of panic swept her face in the darkness, her body tensed in fear. "No, you mustn't! They will kill you!" She relaxed a little bit as he stepped back. "We can't lose you, Professor. Not to the war. Not to Lucius Malfoy."
"Miss Granger, do not try to hold me back," his voice was a barely audible, but entirley dangerous wisper. "Do you expect me to simply stand here and let them go through with all this? Is it your wish for you and your companions to become slaves to Death Eaters, girl?"
"Don't leave me!" she cried, grabbing hold of his arm. Sobs racked her body as tears poured down her cheeks. "Please..." she whispered. "Please don't..."
Her frantic attitude caused him to yield to her will. She was right, he decided. If he so much as opened the door, they'd both be dead before you could say "Dark Mark." Severus leaned against the wall of the closet. "All right, Miss Granger. But what of Potter?"
She stopped crying to look up at him through the darkness. "I-I do not know, Professor. There's nothing we can do to help him. Defeating Voldemort is... is something he must do on his own. Dumbledore told me that, the first year when Quirrel met him for the stone. Harry... Harry was made for this purpose, we cannot change what is meant to be..."
"Then gods willing he will not fail us..."
"I have faith he will not... After all... you... didn't... fail us. You had it much worse than he most often."
"You assume too much, Granger." He smirked. "The irritating know-it-all disposition ill suits you."
"Oh, then do enlighten me, Professor. What have I 'assumed' wrongly?" Hermione questioned irritably.
"You wouldn't understand," Severus said wearily. "No one understands."
"Oh? Try me."
He sighed. This was not something he wanted to discuss in great length this evening. But, seeing as how they'd be in that closet for quite some time, he decided that she did deserve to know... to know the truth about him, his crimes, and the bane of his being.
"You know, I used to be as confidant as you, Hermione. No worries, really. Not a care in the world. My life was one of quiet and simple elation. Oh, of course, the news of an uprising Dark Lord troubled me, but not as much as one may think.
"I was eighteen when life finally caught up with me.
"For so long before then I had been content, silent, sophisticated. I had been in love, however. And with love, comes a terrible price. Death and pain were all that resulted in the love that I had -- a single-sided 'infatuation,'" he spat the word. "An obsession.
"Unfortunate for me, I picked the wrong woman to be obsessed with. Lily Evans was already taken -- by my most formidable enemy. James Potter and his friends taunted me for years. I was a Slytherin, after all, and what Gryffindor could ever like a Slytherin? So after I graduated Hogwarts, I left with my close friend Lucius. He was off to join the Dark Legion, a fresh recruit to their league. And why should I not as well? The rewards of such services were said to be completely remarkable, and entirely worth giving up everything. So I joined. What else could I do? From the very moment I was sorted into Slytherin, I was damned. Everyone was damned. We never even had the choice.
"For years I followed Voldemort's orders, carrying out his dark deeds, groveling, wearing away to a mindless nothing. We did horrible things to so many. But my job, oh my job was the worst of all. I was the interrogator. It was my duty to gather information from women hostages we'd captured. I would seduce and torture them for hours, in the most horrific ways imaginable, and even in ways unimaginable. On the edge of it all, they would scream and cry and beg for release or death. And once they told me everything they knew, I would give them death. One finds, after many years of expirience, that pleasure is a far better motivator than pain. Oh, of course we could have used Veritaserum. But where's the sport in that?"
Hermione was frozen in disgust. Here this man was, her Professor, her Professor who had hated her since the moment she'd set foot in his classroom, proclaiming to her his darkest of acts, his greatest of sins. "Why are you telling me this?" she whimpered.
He released an impatient huff. "You Gryffindors hide in your little plastic bubble worlds, unaware, oblivious to anything and everything! You have no *idea* how painful it is to see you, day after day, in this perfect little world you've created for yourselves, completely uncaring of the suffering of so many! I know what I've done is wrong, heinous, *satanic*! Don't you wonder why I'm not dead? Don't you wonder why I am not rotting in Azkaban for my felonies?! I am serving to right my wrongs. A spy, forced to suffer pain eternal for the villainies and crimes that I so appallingly committed!" She shuddered. Severus continued as calmly as he could manage.
"After... after about a year in his service, I learned that Lily and James Potter were expecting a son. I told my Master of this, of my past misery and torment at the hands of James and his Marauders. Of my love for Lily who could never be mine. It was decided then, that Voldemort would seek revenge on the Potters, kill James, and bring Lily and the son Harry to us to do what we would with them.
"Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow, planning to carry out what had originally been discussed. But when he discovered that Harry was the last remaining Heir to Gryffindor, everything changed. He killed James and Lily quick and clean, but Harry survived. It was Voldemort's downfall. Harry was deemed the Boy Who Lived, and the Wizarding World rejoiced.
"That was the night I returned to Hogwarts. I could no longer serve Voldemort. My beloved Lily was dead at his hands, but it was my fault. So I went to Dumbledore and begged him to send me to Azkaban, to kill me, to torture me, or worse. I begged him to make me pay for my crimes, too weak to do the deed myself.
"But he didn't. He forgave me. He gave me shelter and kindness and hope. And for that alone I owe him my life. It was then that I became a spy. I vowed to protect all of you, every single one of you, from the corruption of Lord Voldemort. Albus would send me on missions every so often. I would return, battered and bruised and bleeding, in pain from the Cruciatus that Voldemort would... discipline us with. But I didn't mind the pain. I craved the pain. I needed to pay for my sins. Pain was an escape from the horrible world. I was lucky when it caused me to pass out. Oh, blissful darkness! Cold and solitude. It was more than I deserved. Some scars, however, are deeper than skin, and can never be washed off or cut away or faded by burns or anything. Some scars stay with you forever. And besides the Dark Mark, there were many others.
"But whenever I returned from a Dark Revel, Albus, he would heal me. He would sit with me for hours and nurse me back to health. He was so good to me. It often made me wonder why I was spared, why I was given a second chance when others, particularly the ones that I tortured, had been mercilessly cast aside. The cold of the dungeons in which I lived became as cold as my exterior. I secluded myself from everyone except Albus. Of course, the others were kind to me, but kindness has little effect on those who feel they don't deserve it." There was an uneasy silence. "I've been a spy ever since that fateful night nearly sixteen years ago. I've lived through the pain and the torture and the hope and the waiting. I've survived the wars and the struggles. I've kept my mask in place. But tonight the war ended. They know of my betrayal, and they hunt me as we speak. I cannot fear them as you do. I am too numb to know fear. But I will certainly protect those who do fear them. It is my duty. It is my debt." Hermione was completely and utterly breathless. He had suffered so much for them, and received so little thanks for it. She felt sympathy for this man. This tortured, terrible man.
A/N: So. so what do you think about it? Any good? Please review! Flame if you want, I don't care, I just want FEEDBACK! I live on that stuff! Thanks again!