Worst Case Scenario
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the preceding characters in this story, with the exception of myself. The all-night J.R.R. Tolkien is the owner of every character, except for Maniac, Galadriel Golden, and Thephoenix.Maniac and Galadriel Golden own themselves. They know who they are. The movie is owned by....I don't know. Wingnut Productions??? Peter Jackson??? Not me.
Chapter One
It seemed ages since young Frodo Baggins last saw Gandalf the Grey, and now he was back, speaking with great worry in his voice of the Ring his dear Uncle Bilbo had left him. As Gandalf spoke, the rhyme played in his head over and over, "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them and in the darkness bind them." Suddenly everything seemed different to Frodo. Little did he know before now that had his previous conversations with Gandalf concerning the Ring been written in text, the first letter of the word "ring" would have been capitalized. Terror flooded his mind as he heard a rustling in the bushes. Gandalf struck whatever it was on the head and dragged it in.
Samwise Gamgee. A dear friend to Frodo, and his gardener as well. As Sam tried as hard as possible to apologize to Gandalf, Frodo thought he heard a faint whispering.
"Shut up!" one voice said to another two, who appeared to be violently laughing. Now Frodo was sure of it. The bush had moved. "Who's there?" he called, try not too sound frightened. "Oh crap!" one of the voices shouted, followed by the other two yelling "Shut UP!" in unison. Frodo walked to the window, slowly and dramatically, and moved some branches from the bush, to reveal three girls. Frodo screamed and fell backwards. Gandalf snatched up these three as he had Sam. "Great work," one of the girls said, glaring at another. "Don't blame me!" the other girl, whom the glare had been directed towards retorted, "She's the one who moved the bush!" "Hey!" the third yelled, elbowing the second in the stomach. "ENOUGH!" Gandalf shouted. Each of them ceased their arguing, turned to the Grey Wanderer and in unison said "What?" "Who are you, and what is your business in these parts, eavesdropping on others' private conversations?" "I wasn't droppin' no eaves, sir!" the second girl said, imitating Sam. After being shushed by the other two, the first girl sat up, and did he best to look elegant, despite the twigs and leaves tangled into her hair, "We are but three young maidens, each human. And we weren't spying. We were merely trying to capture him"—she gestured towards Sam—"For we believed him to be a thief."
The third girl nodded approvingly and said "Better than my excuse." "As to who we are," the second began, "Well, we are simply commoners, nothing more. We....ran out of sugar and tea leaves. We hail from Forlindon. I am Phoenix, and my companions are—" "Maniac." The second girl answered, cutting off her companion off. "I don't like the sound of that...." Sam whispered to Frodo. "And I," the first girl said, "Am Galadriel-Golden." "What did you here?" Frodo said slowly. "Nothing important! Well, something about a Ring, and a Dark Lord, and the end of the world...." Phoenix yet again imitated Sam, who glared at her. "I suppose they must go as well." Gandalf said. "Great!" Maniac began, "Prancing Pony. Sounds nice." "Do they have a few cups of sugar to spare?" Phoenix broke in. "And tea leaves!" Galadriel-Golden joined in. "Something," Sam whispered to Frodo "gives me a feeling this is going to be a long trip."
The five were silent as they traveled. There was much banter between the three girls, "Oh, I like these guys! They're shorter than me!" Galadriel-Golden had said giddily. "I know!" Phoenix had agreed, "I'm a full two feet above these guys. And they're in their twenties." Frodo and Sam had corrected them, telling them that they were both around the age of fifty. This they were in awe at, which lead much talk from them of "How they must like coffee, and it's stunted their growth." Eventually, Frodo and Sam became aggravated and yelled at them. They then fell silent, until finally, Sam spoke up. "This is it," he said, "If I take one more step, this will be the farthest from home I've ever been." "Oh, don't be such a baby!" Phoenix said, pushing him, and cause him to fall forward. She was then smacked by Galadriel-Golden. "Oh, fine." She said helping Sam up, "Take about three steps back and do your little 'dramatic moment.'" She then mumbled to herself, "Wimp."
Later on, they found themselves in a cornfield. "You know this reminds me of?" Phoenix began, "That giant hedge maze in Harlindon. I remember it took me hours to get out...." "Mr. Frodo? FRODO! Don't leave me alone with THEM!" "I'm right here Sam, don't wor—" Frodo was cut off as two others about their size, holding bundles of vegetables ran into them-- literally. "Frodo." One of them said, a heavy accent on his voice, "Merry, look! It's Frodo Baggins." "No shit, Sherlock." Phoenix retorted. Sam noticed the vegetables, then. "You've been into Farmer Maggot's crop!" "His last name is Maggot?" Galadriel-Golden asked with curiosity. "Poor him." Maniac said. That was when the hobbits noticed the scythe heading towards them, and ran into the cornfield. "Hey!" Maniac shouted, "They're ditching us!" The three girls then followed quickly.
The hobbits stood on a cliff's edge, thankful they had not fallen. Well, no yet anyway. The three girls did not see the cliff, and rammed them. They all tumbled down the cliff, dog piling each other. "Well, that was fun." Galadriel-Golden said sarcastically. "It was.... A short cut." Merry said. "To what?" Sam said, as he extracted a broken carrot from under him. "Mushrooms!" Pippin shouted, scrambling to run to them, but was pushed to the ground by both Sam and Merry. "Marshmallows!" the three girls said in unison, running towards the mushrooms. "So...." Merry began as he greedily shoved mushrooms into an empty bag, "Who would you ladies be?" "Phoenix." "Maniac." "Galadriel-Golden." The girls said quickly, focused on the duty at hand. "Well," Merry, taking a moment to extend a hand (which they firmly shook) to greet them. "I am Meriadoc Brandybuck of the Shire, more commonly known as Merry. And this is..." Merry gestured to Pippin, who was captivated by his mushrooms. After a short pause, a grinning Merry kicked Pippin in the ribs. "Ow....oh." He said, now noticing the three girls. His cheeks were shoved full with mushrooms and he found some trouble speaking. "Pewegwin Took"—he then swolled the remaining mushrooms—"Peregrin. Erm....I prefer Pippin." "Hey...." Phoenix said, curiously, "If Middle-Earth is composed of people strictly from England, with no way for anyone else from the outside world to enter, then why does he have a Scottish accent?" Before anyone had a chance to answer or even think about the question, Frodo shouted, "Get off the road!" and they rushed under a tangle of tree roots.
The black rider on the road above them crouched over the group of tree roots. Galadriel-Golden cringed as centipedes fell to the ground next to them and struggled not to scream. Sam reached over and slapped Frodo's wrist as he considered putting the Ring on his finger. Merry and Pippin were fighting over the sack of mushrooms, until they noticed the dark figure looming above them. Merry thought quickly and grabbed at the mushroom sack, planning to throw it. Pippin clutched it to his breast and shook his head feircely. The two began fighting over this now and to resolve conflict, Maniac grabbed it. As a result, Merry used all his might to grab her and throw her. "Holy...." Maniac shouted, and quickly scrambled up a tree. The black rider distracted by the figure struggling up to the top of a tree, the hobbits and two humans ran. The rider sniffed at something, hen turned to mount its steed, giving Maniac her chance to catch up.
The group rejoined within moments, Maniac being an exceptionally fast runner. "That black rider was after something." Merry said, his gaze piercing Frodo down to his soul. "What are you staring at me for?" Frodo tried to be quiet; "It's not like I know what it is!" Merry's gaze still seemed to dig holes in to Frodo.
This lasted for quite a while, and finally, everyone was fed up with his over-dramatic starring. "CAN WE GET THIS OVER WITH?" the Rider yelled, "I haven't got ALL DAY! I mean, I AM an undying being....but STILL!" "Oh....right, sorry." Merry said, stared for a second or two more, and said sternly
"BuckleburyFerry."
"Huh?" Phoenix looked extremely confused. "Far fig Newton!" Galadriel- Golden shouted, imitating the fact that Merry was making absolutely no sense. "Just shut up and run!" he demanded. Well, they did, of course. They seemed to be nearing some kind of a harbor.... "Oh...." Phoenix thought allowed, "He meant a FERRY. I get it now...." Pippin, Sam, and Maniac, obviously being faster than everyone else, had already boarded the raft soon followed by Merry and Galadriel-Golden. Phoenix dawdled, staring at Frodo and the Rider behind him. "You're so slow." She said to the hobbit, "Slow!" She then began tossing small pebbles at his head. "Ow! Quit it!" "Oh, right, the Ring thingy." She then grabbed his hand and flung him onto the raft, jumping on herself after him. "How far to the next dock?" Frodo panted. "Brandywine bridge." Was Merry's reply. "Say," Gally said, "I'm kinda hungry. Whatever happened to those marshmallows?" Pippin gasped. "NOT THE MUSHROOMS! NOOO!" and he filled the night with his pained cries.
"Hey...." Maniac began after a long silence as the traveled down the river, "Weren't we supposed to run into some guy an his wife? Tom Something?" "NO!" Gally shouted, almost immediately. Another extensive pause followed. "You know what?" Phoenix said, breaking the silence, "We should pass the time by doing something.... I' know, we can sing! Ob la di, ob la da life goes on, wooah, lalala life goes oon!" "NO!" the four hobbits said in unison, and all were grateful when they reached Brandywine Bridge only moments later, spared from Phoenix's non-existent singing voice.
A/N—So what did you think??? Love it??? Hate it??? Either way, I'm gonna continue it, but I'd like some feedback, please!!! Be kind rewind....I mean review....
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the preceding characters in this story, with the exception of myself. The all-night J.R.R. Tolkien is the owner of every character, except for Maniac, Galadriel Golden, and Thephoenix.Maniac and Galadriel Golden own themselves. They know who they are. The movie is owned by....I don't know. Wingnut Productions??? Peter Jackson??? Not me.
Chapter One
It seemed ages since young Frodo Baggins last saw Gandalf the Grey, and now he was back, speaking with great worry in his voice of the Ring his dear Uncle Bilbo had left him. As Gandalf spoke, the rhyme played in his head over and over, "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them and in the darkness bind them." Suddenly everything seemed different to Frodo. Little did he know before now that had his previous conversations with Gandalf concerning the Ring been written in text, the first letter of the word "ring" would have been capitalized. Terror flooded his mind as he heard a rustling in the bushes. Gandalf struck whatever it was on the head and dragged it in.
Samwise Gamgee. A dear friend to Frodo, and his gardener as well. As Sam tried as hard as possible to apologize to Gandalf, Frodo thought he heard a faint whispering.
"Shut up!" one voice said to another two, who appeared to be violently laughing. Now Frodo was sure of it. The bush had moved. "Who's there?" he called, try not too sound frightened. "Oh crap!" one of the voices shouted, followed by the other two yelling "Shut UP!" in unison. Frodo walked to the window, slowly and dramatically, and moved some branches from the bush, to reveal three girls. Frodo screamed and fell backwards. Gandalf snatched up these three as he had Sam. "Great work," one of the girls said, glaring at another. "Don't blame me!" the other girl, whom the glare had been directed towards retorted, "She's the one who moved the bush!" "Hey!" the third yelled, elbowing the second in the stomach. "ENOUGH!" Gandalf shouted. Each of them ceased their arguing, turned to the Grey Wanderer and in unison said "What?" "Who are you, and what is your business in these parts, eavesdropping on others' private conversations?" "I wasn't droppin' no eaves, sir!" the second girl said, imitating Sam. After being shushed by the other two, the first girl sat up, and did he best to look elegant, despite the twigs and leaves tangled into her hair, "We are but three young maidens, each human. And we weren't spying. We were merely trying to capture him"—she gestured towards Sam—"For we believed him to be a thief."
The third girl nodded approvingly and said "Better than my excuse." "As to who we are," the second began, "Well, we are simply commoners, nothing more. We....ran out of sugar and tea leaves. We hail from Forlindon. I am Phoenix, and my companions are—" "Maniac." The second girl answered, cutting off her companion off. "I don't like the sound of that...." Sam whispered to Frodo. "And I," the first girl said, "Am Galadriel-Golden." "What did you here?" Frodo said slowly. "Nothing important! Well, something about a Ring, and a Dark Lord, and the end of the world...." Phoenix yet again imitated Sam, who glared at her. "I suppose they must go as well." Gandalf said. "Great!" Maniac began, "Prancing Pony. Sounds nice." "Do they have a few cups of sugar to spare?" Phoenix broke in. "And tea leaves!" Galadriel-Golden joined in. "Something," Sam whispered to Frodo "gives me a feeling this is going to be a long trip."
The five were silent as they traveled. There was much banter between the three girls, "Oh, I like these guys! They're shorter than me!" Galadriel-Golden had said giddily. "I know!" Phoenix had agreed, "I'm a full two feet above these guys. And they're in their twenties." Frodo and Sam had corrected them, telling them that they were both around the age of fifty. This they were in awe at, which lead much talk from them of "How they must like coffee, and it's stunted their growth." Eventually, Frodo and Sam became aggravated and yelled at them. They then fell silent, until finally, Sam spoke up. "This is it," he said, "If I take one more step, this will be the farthest from home I've ever been." "Oh, don't be such a baby!" Phoenix said, pushing him, and cause him to fall forward. She was then smacked by Galadriel-Golden. "Oh, fine." She said helping Sam up, "Take about three steps back and do your little 'dramatic moment.'" She then mumbled to herself, "Wimp."
Later on, they found themselves in a cornfield. "You know this reminds me of?" Phoenix began, "That giant hedge maze in Harlindon. I remember it took me hours to get out...." "Mr. Frodo? FRODO! Don't leave me alone with THEM!" "I'm right here Sam, don't wor—" Frodo was cut off as two others about their size, holding bundles of vegetables ran into them-- literally. "Frodo." One of them said, a heavy accent on his voice, "Merry, look! It's Frodo Baggins." "No shit, Sherlock." Phoenix retorted. Sam noticed the vegetables, then. "You've been into Farmer Maggot's crop!" "His last name is Maggot?" Galadriel-Golden asked with curiosity. "Poor him." Maniac said. That was when the hobbits noticed the scythe heading towards them, and ran into the cornfield. "Hey!" Maniac shouted, "They're ditching us!" The three girls then followed quickly.
The hobbits stood on a cliff's edge, thankful they had not fallen. Well, no yet anyway. The three girls did not see the cliff, and rammed them. They all tumbled down the cliff, dog piling each other. "Well, that was fun." Galadriel-Golden said sarcastically. "It was.... A short cut." Merry said. "To what?" Sam said, as he extracted a broken carrot from under him. "Mushrooms!" Pippin shouted, scrambling to run to them, but was pushed to the ground by both Sam and Merry. "Marshmallows!" the three girls said in unison, running towards the mushrooms. "So...." Merry began as he greedily shoved mushrooms into an empty bag, "Who would you ladies be?" "Phoenix." "Maniac." "Galadriel-Golden." The girls said quickly, focused on the duty at hand. "Well," Merry, taking a moment to extend a hand (which they firmly shook) to greet them. "I am Meriadoc Brandybuck of the Shire, more commonly known as Merry. And this is..." Merry gestured to Pippin, who was captivated by his mushrooms. After a short pause, a grinning Merry kicked Pippin in the ribs. "Ow....oh." He said, now noticing the three girls. His cheeks were shoved full with mushrooms and he found some trouble speaking. "Pewegwin Took"—he then swolled the remaining mushrooms—"Peregrin. Erm....I prefer Pippin." "Hey...." Phoenix said, curiously, "If Middle-Earth is composed of people strictly from England, with no way for anyone else from the outside world to enter, then why does he have a Scottish accent?" Before anyone had a chance to answer or even think about the question, Frodo shouted, "Get off the road!" and they rushed under a tangle of tree roots.
The black rider on the road above them crouched over the group of tree roots. Galadriel-Golden cringed as centipedes fell to the ground next to them and struggled not to scream. Sam reached over and slapped Frodo's wrist as he considered putting the Ring on his finger. Merry and Pippin were fighting over the sack of mushrooms, until they noticed the dark figure looming above them. Merry thought quickly and grabbed at the mushroom sack, planning to throw it. Pippin clutched it to his breast and shook his head feircely. The two began fighting over this now and to resolve conflict, Maniac grabbed it. As a result, Merry used all his might to grab her and throw her. "Holy...." Maniac shouted, and quickly scrambled up a tree. The black rider distracted by the figure struggling up to the top of a tree, the hobbits and two humans ran. The rider sniffed at something, hen turned to mount its steed, giving Maniac her chance to catch up.
The group rejoined within moments, Maniac being an exceptionally fast runner. "That black rider was after something." Merry said, his gaze piercing Frodo down to his soul. "What are you staring at me for?" Frodo tried to be quiet; "It's not like I know what it is!" Merry's gaze still seemed to dig holes in to Frodo.
This lasted for quite a while, and finally, everyone was fed up with his over-dramatic starring. "CAN WE GET THIS OVER WITH?" the Rider yelled, "I haven't got ALL DAY! I mean, I AM an undying being....but STILL!" "Oh....right, sorry." Merry said, stared for a second or two more, and said sternly
"BuckleburyFerry."
"Huh?" Phoenix looked extremely confused. "Far fig Newton!" Galadriel- Golden shouted, imitating the fact that Merry was making absolutely no sense. "Just shut up and run!" he demanded. Well, they did, of course. They seemed to be nearing some kind of a harbor.... "Oh...." Phoenix thought allowed, "He meant a FERRY. I get it now...." Pippin, Sam, and Maniac, obviously being faster than everyone else, had already boarded the raft soon followed by Merry and Galadriel-Golden. Phoenix dawdled, staring at Frodo and the Rider behind him. "You're so slow." She said to the hobbit, "Slow!" She then began tossing small pebbles at his head. "Ow! Quit it!" "Oh, right, the Ring thingy." She then grabbed his hand and flung him onto the raft, jumping on herself after him. "How far to the next dock?" Frodo panted. "Brandywine bridge." Was Merry's reply. "Say," Gally said, "I'm kinda hungry. Whatever happened to those marshmallows?" Pippin gasped. "NOT THE MUSHROOMS! NOOO!" and he filled the night with his pained cries.
"Hey...." Maniac began after a long silence as the traveled down the river, "Weren't we supposed to run into some guy an his wife? Tom Something?" "NO!" Gally shouted, almost immediately. Another extensive pause followed. "You know what?" Phoenix said, breaking the silence, "We should pass the time by doing something.... I' know, we can sing! Ob la di, ob la da life goes on, wooah, lalala life goes oon!" "NO!" the four hobbits said in unison, and all were grateful when they reached Brandywine Bridge only moments later, spared from Phoenix's non-existent singing voice.
A/N—So what did you think??? Love it??? Hate it??? Either way, I'm gonna continue it, but I'd like some feedback, please!!! Be kind rewind....I mean review....