A/N—Sorry about the incomplete ending. I was going to have this as the
entire Moria thing, but supply and demand caught up with me. Not with the
reviewers, with **glare~* my friends. And the reviewers. Not that I mind. I
want the reviews. I just felt I was a little in-constant with my chapter
supply. That's why this one is shorter than most of the rest should be.
Enjoy, and look forward to the rest of it very soon!!!
Chapter Seven
The white powder poured on top of them, covering their bodies, bathing them in frozen water. As Saruman's voice faded, the snow settled. There was no sign of life left on the mountain. Suddenly, the authoress realized the pointlessness of her drama, for the next part was obvious to every reader. The tip of a helmet breached from the pure, white powder, and soon an angry, snow-covered dwarf emerged, shouting inaudible things, and the occasional "Argh!" The other thirteen soon followed him, gasping for breath. "Well, that was fun." Maniac, her voice dripping with obvious sarcasm, said as she coughed up some snow. "Hey," Frodo began, "Wouldn't it make sense just to leave the Ring buried in the snow here? I mean, it would save us all a lot of trouble." Gandalf ignored this comment, as his gaze turned to Gimli. He knew what was on the dwarf's mind. Before he said a word Gandalf protested. "Gimli, you know how much I hate Moria. It's just one big Starbucks!" The dwarf rolled his eyes. "It's not like we've got much of a choice!" "Damn it! I don't want to go!" Of course, Gimli won this argument, and it was announced that the Fellowship would go to Moria.
Moments later, the group found themselves on the shore of the muddy, murky waters outside the gates of Moria. Gally had asked how they had gotten here so quickly, but this question was ignored. Phoenix complained that her brand new shoes were going to be ruined, but this was ignored as well. She threw a pebbled into the water in her frustration. Merry and Pippin observed this act, and automatically copied it, tossing whatever they found on the ground into the water. Various odds and ends, rocks, sticks, and a jewel-incrusted skull at one point. "You dolts!" Boromir protested, "You're both complete and utter fools! That could have been worth something!" he then turned to Phoenix, "Imagine all the shoes you could have bought with a jewel-incrusted skull." Phoenix's eyes glazed over into a ditzy fantasy of shoe shopping. She then bopped both of the hobbits, shouting, "Cease and desist! You're wasting valuable shoe money!" As she thanked Boromir and strode off with him, Pippin looked at the dirt clod he was about to throw, and questioned his companion. "How is dirt also shoe money?"
Gandalf struggled to remember the password with which to enter Moria. Since they had first arrived at the muddy banks, he had tried literally millions of passwords, and now, hours later, everyone was growing weary and loosing hope. Despite obvious admiration for the great and powerful wizard, Maniac and Jewels secretly agreed that he might be becoming feeble in his old age, and decided on a good Middle-Earthian retirement center, when the time should arise. Phoenix and Gally sat on a rock—or rather on Boromir, who was sound asleep on this same rock—Gally having Legolas file her nails, and Phoenix reluctantly filing her own whilst complaining to Merry and Pippin about how they should take over this task. Frodo wearily thought of answers to the riddle but found nothing that made any sense, and if he did, he kept it to himself, to tired to crack his lips and mutter the probably incorrect answers floating through his brain. Sam dozed on his master's shoulder. Aragorn, in finding his manservant gone, wandered around searching for the Goose, but never went too far, a shred of optimism telling him Gandalf would find the answer any moment. Gimli kept up hope for the longest time, reassuring Gandalf with a "I was certain that was it. We must be getting very close. I'm positive the next guess will also be the last," but now the ambition seemed farther than ever to him, and now only occasionally mumbled to Gandalf, "You're almost there," less than half- heartedly.
Aragorn suddenly came running back shouting "I've found him!" his manservant obediently trotting along behind him. This was almost completely disregarded with the exception of slight mumbles of "yeah.... and?" "were we supposed to care?" and "when was he gone?" Gandalf swore under his breath and muttered "Why is he still alive?" He then surrendered a few gold coins to Merry and Pippin, who seemed to be getting rather wealthy, while it appeared that all the others were going broke. Aragorn's shouts roused Boromir, who was more than a little startled to find two girls sitting on top of them. As he screamed and sat up, Phoenix and Gally shrieked as well, and toppled over.
With the exception of Merry and Pippin, who gleefully counted their gold coins, Gimli was the only one who took his colleague's return as a blessing. A new hope filled his heart as he recited the riddle to the small human. "Speak friend and enter. Any idea what it means?" The Goose looked insulted. "That's the simplest riddle I've ever heard. It's in elvish, right? So, speak 'friend' in elvish. It took you hours to think of that?" Gandalf mumbled "mellon" and the doors slid open. A woman's happy voice filled the air, a recording that said, "Welcome to Moria! Enjoy your stay! We serve rabbit meat straight off the bone, the way Granny used to make it, daily! Thirty percent off all meals on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Saturday night is Lady's night."
Gandalf slapped the Goose on the back of the head. "Where were you two hours ago?" The only reply was a slightly stammered, "I.... I.... Uh.... It's only forty-five minutes by the Rivendell calendar!" This was ignored by most, who glared as they entered the cave, with the exception of Pippin who was counting on his fingers and doing the conversions in his head to see if the Goose was lying or not. As Jewels wandered in, she muttered, "Stupid Duck." Gally giggled and menacingly said "Duck!" to Goosini as she passed him. Frodo and Sam stood in the back, last to enter, blocking the interence.
Gandalf set alight the tip of his staff, were a small crystal sat. He, Legolas, and Gimli, looked about with displeasure. "This isn't a mine...." Legolas whispered, "It's a tomb." Gimli crumpled to the ground, sobbing mindlessly for the loss of his beloved land. "Look at it now! Damn all the goblins! Death to them! Look at this place! Oh, cousin Balin, your home, your beautiful home! The skeletons of the past visitor lay on the ground, the stench of death is on the air, and eerie, evil feeling is looming throughout this horrid cave!" "See?! Didn't I tell you it was EXACTLY like a big Starbucks?" Gandalf insisted. Suddenly, a shriek was heard, loud and feminine. It rang through the cavern. It was Frodo.
Other A/N—Thanks a million to the good people who work at Starbucks. You're the butt of many jokes. There's a good sport.
Chapter Seven
The white powder poured on top of them, covering their bodies, bathing them in frozen water. As Saruman's voice faded, the snow settled. There was no sign of life left on the mountain. Suddenly, the authoress realized the pointlessness of her drama, for the next part was obvious to every reader. The tip of a helmet breached from the pure, white powder, and soon an angry, snow-covered dwarf emerged, shouting inaudible things, and the occasional "Argh!" The other thirteen soon followed him, gasping for breath. "Well, that was fun." Maniac, her voice dripping with obvious sarcasm, said as she coughed up some snow. "Hey," Frodo began, "Wouldn't it make sense just to leave the Ring buried in the snow here? I mean, it would save us all a lot of trouble." Gandalf ignored this comment, as his gaze turned to Gimli. He knew what was on the dwarf's mind. Before he said a word Gandalf protested. "Gimli, you know how much I hate Moria. It's just one big Starbucks!" The dwarf rolled his eyes. "It's not like we've got much of a choice!" "Damn it! I don't want to go!" Of course, Gimli won this argument, and it was announced that the Fellowship would go to Moria.
Moments later, the group found themselves on the shore of the muddy, murky waters outside the gates of Moria. Gally had asked how they had gotten here so quickly, but this question was ignored. Phoenix complained that her brand new shoes were going to be ruined, but this was ignored as well. She threw a pebbled into the water in her frustration. Merry and Pippin observed this act, and automatically copied it, tossing whatever they found on the ground into the water. Various odds and ends, rocks, sticks, and a jewel-incrusted skull at one point. "You dolts!" Boromir protested, "You're both complete and utter fools! That could have been worth something!" he then turned to Phoenix, "Imagine all the shoes you could have bought with a jewel-incrusted skull." Phoenix's eyes glazed over into a ditzy fantasy of shoe shopping. She then bopped both of the hobbits, shouting, "Cease and desist! You're wasting valuable shoe money!" As she thanked Boromir and strode off with him, Pippin looked at the dirt clod he was about to throw, and questioned his companion. "How is dirt also shoe money?"
Gandalf struggled to remember the password with which to enter Moria. Since they had first arrived at the muddy banks, he had tried literally millions of passwords, and now, hours later, everyone was growing weary and loosing hope. Despite obvious admiration for the great and powerful wizard, Maniac and Jewels secretly agreed that he might be becoming feeble in his old age, and decided on a good Middle-Earthian retirement center, when the time should arise. Phoenix and Gally sat on a rock—or rather on Boromir, who was sound asleep on this same rock—Gally having Legolas file her nails, and Phoenix reluctantly filing her own whilst complaining to Merry and Pippin about how they should take over this task. Frodo wearily thought of answers to the riddle but found nothing that made any sense, and if he did, he kept it to himself, to tired to crack his lips and mutter the probably incorrect answers floating through his brain. Sam dozed on his master's shoulder. Aragorn, in finding his manservant gone, wandered around searching for the Goose, but never went too far, a shred of optimism telling him Gandalf would find the answer any moment. Gimli kept up hope for the longest time, reassuring Gandalf with a "I was certain that was it. We must be getting very close. I'm positive the next guess will also be the last," but now the ambition seemed farther than ever to him, and now only occasionally mumbled to Gandalf, "You're almost there," less than half- heartedly.
Aragorn suddenly came running back shouting "I've found him!" his manservant obediently trotting along behind him. This was almost completely disregarded with the exception of slight mumbles of "yeah.... and?" "were we supposed to care?" and "when was he gone?" Gandalf swore under his breath and muttered "Why is he still alive?" He then surrendered a few gold coins to Merry and Pippin, who seemed to be getting rather wealthy, while it appeared that all the others were going broke. Aragorn's shouts roused Boromir, who was more than a little startled to find two girls sitting on top of them. As he screamed and sat up, Phoenix and Gally shrieked as well, and toppled over.
With the exception of Merry and Pippin, who gleefully counted their gold coins, Gimli was the only one who took his colleague's return as a blessing. A new hope filled his heart as he recited the riddle to the small human. "Speak friend and enter. Any idea what it means?" The Goose looked insulted. "That's the simplest riddle I've ever heard. It's in elvish, right? So, speak 'friend' in elvish. It took you hours to think of that?" Gandalf mumbled "mellon" and the doors slid open. A woman's happy voice filled the air, a recording that said, "Welcome to Moria! Enjoy your stay! We serve rabbit meat straight off the bone, the way Granny used to make it, daily! Thirty percent off all meals on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Saturday night is Lady's night."
Gandalf slapped the Goose on the back of the head. "Where were you two hours ago?" The only reply was a slightly stammered, "I.... I.... Uh.... It's only forty-five minutes by the Rivendell calendar!" This was ignored by most, who glared as they entered the cave, with the exception of Pippin who was counting on his fingers and doing the conversions in his head to see if the Goose was lying or not. As Jewels wandered in, she muttered, "Stupid Duck." Gally giggled and menacingly said "Duck!" to Goosini as she passed him. Frodo and Sam stood in the back, last to enter, blocking the interence.
Gandalf set alight the tip of his staff, were a small crystal sat. He, Legolas, and Gimli, looked about with displeasure. "This isn't a mine...." Legolas whispered, "It's a tomb." Gimli crumpled to the ground, sobbing mindlessly for the loss of his beloved land. "Look at it now! Damn all the goblins! Death to them! Look at this place! Oh, cousin Balin, your home, your beautiful home! The skeletons of the past visitor lay on the ground, the stench of death is on the air, and eerie, evil feeling is looming throughout this horrid cave!" "See?! Didn't I tell you it was EXACTLY like a big Starbucks?" Gandalf insisted. Suddenly, a shriek was heard, loud and feminine. It rang through the cavern. It was Frodo.
Other A/N—Thanks a million to the good people who work at Starbucks. You're the butt of many jokes. There's a good sport.