Chapter Ten
The troupe trekked on through the pit, all ever apprehensive. What dangers could possibly befall them next? Man, were they having some crappy luck. But they opted to forget their strife. Be merry. Whistle why they worked. The only problem was that this was literal. The sounds of four hobbits, seven humans, a dwarf, a wizard, and an elf all whistling show tunes in unison carries quite well through the depths of a cave.
"Wait," Legolas shouted over the whistles, causing a fifth repeat of Annie's "Tomorrow" to come to an abrupt stop-to the extreme jubilance of many a goblin, as well as a certain mysterious creature, who whispered to himself, "Thank the precious! Stupid Annie. We hates it!"-As well as the marching of the Fellowship. All eyes turned to Legolas. "Well?" Maniac sighed exasperatedly. Despite the sight of all the interesting bones and odd cave creatures running about, Maniac was more than happy to leave this cave. Legolas began. "I.... Well, I jut don't get it. Maybe I missed some.... But when.... Or where did Boromir get all that wicker from?"
An eerie silence matched the eerie darkness of the cave as everyone stood in deep contemplation. Even Gollum scratched his head with a skinny finger in confusion. Finally, the archeologists of Maniac's brain uncovered the Rosetta Stone of Legolas's question. She had found his explanation.
"Shut up," she explained. With these words, Legolas sighed, lifted Gally back up and marched on. "I pick the next song," Gimli interjected between the click clacking of feet and shoes, "Let's do 'It's a Small World After All.'" There was a terrible pained, gurgley scream, presumably matching the sound one makes when one's tongue is being slowly excavated with a knife. Gollum from his hiding spot, barked at them, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOOT ME AND GET IT OVER WITH?!"
It wasn't long until the Fellowship had ventured into their tenth verse of "It's a Small World." It wasn't long until Gollum prayed for the sweet release of death, in gurgles and screeches or pain. It wasn't long until the merrily whistling crew's luck was pulled over by the Karma Police. It wasn't long until....
A loud clap like the sound of thunder shook the world (or the mine, anyway), followed by a low grumbling. The whistles slowly wavered out, until the Goose was left whistling alone. He was drawn to an abrupt stop as Jewels struck his arm. Gandalf relinquished an aggravated sigh of "Dammit...." and louder, to Aragorn, "Hey, do you see that bridge over there?" Aragorn's gaze traveled to a bridge. A light, happy bridge. Flowers and beautifully green St. Augustine grass grew around it and a cheerful stream calmly flowed beneath it. "No...." came Gandalf's voice, "Not that bridge. The hideous, ominous one behind it. The one you can only get to by going down all those broken hunks of stairs." Aragorn stared dismally at what he knew was his fate. He groaned with sorrow. 'I was so close to getting lucky with that A-wen chick too.... Oh well. G'bye, cruel world.' He thought. "I'll guess," Gandalf interrupted his sorrowed thoughts, "You know what to-" "Yeah, yeah, yeah...." He grumbled, and directed the others to their doom. 'What's so bad about the pretty bridge?' he thought.
Upon reaching the large gap in the staircase, the Fellowship was feeling a bit.... Down. They had easily stepped (or hopped, in the hobbits' cases) over most of the gaps, but this was a big one. For anywhere for nine and a half to ten minutes, they stared in contemplation at the huge hole they would have to cross, the only sound a dull recording of a man repeating the phrase "Mind the gap" in the background. Finally, an idea reached one of them. Legolas leapt across, Gally in his arms. He set her down and muttered "That wasn't so hard." The others stood there, glaring at Legolas. They weren't elves. They could jump across so easily. Legolas stared back at them, confused. "Wha...." he began, "Why aren't you doing anything? Throw some people across. I thought that was the plan...." After saying this, Aragorn immediately prepared to leap across. "Wait" Gimli quickly, said before Aragorn could jump, "Noble Aragorn, would it not be wiser to send the wee one with the Ring across first?" Aragorn glanced back at Frodo, and sternly remarked, "No cuts." With that, he jumped, and toppled on top of Legolas.
This pattern continued, with Boromir tossing the remaining groupies over, with the exception of Gimli, who strongly protested, ("Nobody tosses a dwarf!"), and jumped on his own, only to be saved from near death by Legolas. Soon, all that remained were Frodo, Boromir, and the Goose. Boromir reached for Frodo, but the hobbit stepped back. "Eh.... You go first.... I'll go over on my own...." he managed. He'd neglected to inform the others that falling long distances terrified him. Boromir gave him a look that said 'are you sure?' but actually meant 'you've got something huge between your teeth, pick it out.' Frodo nodded in response, though made no move to pick anything out of his teeth. Boromir shrugged and turned to the Goose, whose arms were out-stretched, waiting to be tossed across. Boromir turned to the others, waiting for someone to come across, and also slightly involved in a Chinese checkers match between Gimli and Sam. "There's no way I'm touching that thing," Boromir muttered, looking back at the Goose again, and hopped across.
Quite a coincidence that just as Boromir had made his way across, a large, traveling bolder came fluttering down and decided to widen the gap that Goose and Frodo had yet to jump. Yet another bolder came crashing down at an angle, hitting a large support beneath them. The small chunk of staircase began to totter. Goose glared at Frodo. "You're just cursed, aren't you? AREN'T you?!" "Oh, shut up" Frodo retaliated, pushing the Goose forward. With luck, this caused the stairs they stood on to totter forward, and shortly after, collide with the rest of the stairway. The Goose and Frodo toppled forward, completely wrecking the Chinese checkers match. "Hey! I was winning!" Sam exclaimed. "My money was riding on Gimli," Maniac protested.
"Hey," Goose interjected, "Where's Gandalf?" "Right here." The wizard remarked from behind them, "Sorry.... I REALLY had to go to the bathroom." "How did you-" "Never mind, look, there's the bridge of Kaza-dum!" Reluctantly leaving the Chinese checkers board, the Fellowship vaguely wandered over to the bridge, and, naturally, crossed it.
But what glorious luck! They were no more than half way across when oh wonder of wonders, out of no where particular, came the most terrifying thing the Fellowship had seen yet.
The great beast, a bull wreathed in flame, fiery whip in hand, snorted angrily. "W-w-w-what is.... Th-th-th-that?" Pippin squeaked, attempting to hide behind the gray robe that cloaked Gandalf's body. "A Balrog...." he whispered to the young hobbit, eyes fixated on the horrid creature in front of him, and snapping out of his trance slightly flatly said, "Run." He felt Pippin's hand leave his robe.... A good feeling. They would be out of the mine soon. No thought could be better to him now than that.
The Fellowship hid as well as they could behind a cave wall, as they watched a horrifying sight as Gandalf shouted string of phrases at the enormous terror. A light, thin stream of blue light flooded from Gandalf's staff, creating an orb around him, and the Fellowship heard the words "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" rip their way through the old wizard's throat.
And the Balrog tumbled, ever so slowly, over the edge of the bridge, falling to his death. Legolas beamed. "He's done it!" he cried as Gandalf turned on his heel and sighed. He stood briefly, and started towards them.
A hot, horrible feeling naked around his ankle. The whip! The whip was dragging him down! He fell on his face, and small pebbles scraped beneath his body and he was dragged to the edge of the bridge. He released his staff, and clutched this edge with all his might, though he felt his grip slipping. He looked at the Fellowship, hating to let them see him so helpless. They didn't like the sight any more. "Run!" he shouted at them, "Don't just stand there like dumbasses! What are you waiting for, a tour guide to show you the way out?! RUN!" and with those words, he was gone, falling into the dark abyss.
Frodo screamed and ran towards him, Boromir, grabbed at him and held him back while Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli copied the motion with the other three hobbits. They did not notice the Goose wander forward.
He had reached the edge already, and gazed down. All he saw was the dim glow of the whip falling slowly. Boromir's eyes widened with horror as he watched the small creature bend to pick up the staff, loose his footing, and do a small roll over the edge. Boromir closed his eyes tightly and lifted Frodo. He instructed the others to do the same and they all ran for the exit, too terrified to merely turn around.
A/N: Yeah, less happy-go-lucky than the other chapters, eh??? Oh, by the by, this chapter is dedicated to Mercuria. Mercuria, dear, I don't know if you're still reading this, but you did review my story, and you did say you thought the Great Goosini should die. I had planned to kill 'im off before reading your review, but either way, this chapter's for you.
There's a joke in there I felt the need to explain:
In London, the "Underground" (subway with a cooler name), like in NYC, is a popular form of travel. So, we all know what it looks like in a subway station. Picture a subway car pulling up, you move toward it as the doors slide open you step on. But of course you have to step over that tiny gap in between the concrete and the subway car. So, in the London Underground, there is a recording of a man repeating the words "Mind the gap" to warn people so they don't trip, etc.
The troupe trekked on through the pit, all ever apprehensive. What dangers could possibly befall them next? Man, were they having some crappy luck. But they opted to forget their strife. Be merry. Whistle why they worked. The only problem was that this was literal. The sounds of four hobbits, seven humans, a dwarf, a wizard, and an elf all whistling show tunes in unison carries quite well through the depths of a cave.
"Wait," Legolas shouted over the whistles, causing a fifth repeat of Annie's "Tomorrow" to come to an abrupt stop-to the extreme jubilance of many a goblin, as well as a certain mysterious creature, who whispered to himself, "Thank the precious! Stupid Annie. We hates it!"-As well as the marching of the Fellowship. All eyes turned to Legolas. "Well?" Maniac sighed exasperatedly. Despite the sight of all the interesting bones and odd cave creatures running about, Maniac was more than happy to leave this cave. Legolas began. "I.... Well, I jut don't get it. Maybe I missed some.... But when.... Or where did Boromir get all that wicker from?"
An eerie silence matched the eerie darkness of the cave as everyone stood in deep contemplation. Even Gollum scratched his head with a skinny finger in confusion. Finally, the archeologists of Maniac's brain uncovered the Rosetta Stone of Legolas's question. She had found his explanation.
"Shut up," she explained. With these words, Legolas sighed, lifted Gally back up and marched on. "I pick the next song," Gimli interjected between the click clacking of feet and shoes, "Let's do 'It's a Small World After All.'" There was a terrible pained, gurgley scream, presumably matching the sound one makes when one's tongue is being slowly excavated with a knife. Gollum from his hiding spot, barked at them, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOOT ME AND GET IT OVER WITH?!"
It wasn't long until the Fellowship had ventured into their tenth verse of "It's a Small World." It wasn't long until Gollum prayed for the sweet release of death, in gurgles and screeches or pain. It wasn't long until the merrily whistling crew's luck was pulled over by the Karma Police. It wasn't long until....
A loud clap like the sound of thunder shook the world (or the mine, anyway), followed by a low grumbling. The whistles slowly wavered out, until the Goose was left whistling alone. He was drawn to an abrupt stop as Jewels struck his arm. Gandalf relinquished an aggravated sigh of "Dammit...." and louder, to Aragorn, "Hey, do you see that bridge over there?" Aragorn's gaze traveled to a bridge. A light, happy bridge. Flowers and beautifully green St. Augustine grass grew around it and a cheerful stream calmly flowed beneath it. "No...." came Gandalf's voice, "Not that bridge. The hideous, ominous one behind it. The one you can only get to by going down all those broken hunks of stairs." Aragorn stared dismally at what he knew was his fate. He groaned with sorrow. 'I was so close to getting lucky with that A-wen chick too.... Oh well. G'bye, cruel world.' He thought. "I'll guess," Gandalf interrupted his sorrowed thoughts, "You know what to-" "Yeah, yeah, yeah...." He grumbled, and directed the others to their doom. 'What's so bad about the pretty bridge?' he thought.
Upon reaching the large gap in the staircase, the Fellowship was feeling a bit.... Down. They had easily stepped (or hopped, in the hobbits' cases) over most of the gaps, but this was a big one. For anywhere for nine and a half to ten minutes, they stared in contemplation at the huge hole they would have to cross, the only sound a dull recording of a man repeating the phrase "Mind the gap" in the background. Finally, an idea reached one of them. Legolas leapt across, Gally in his arms. He set her down and muttered "That wasn't so hard." The others stood there, glaring at Legolas. They weren't elves. They could jump across so easily. Legolas stared back at them, confused. "Wha...." he began, "Why aren't you doing anything? Throw some people across. I thought that was the plan...." After saying this, Aragorn immediately prepared to leap across. "Wait" Gimli quickly, said before Aragorn could jump, "Noble Aragorn, would it not be wiser to send the wee one with the Ring across first?" Aragorn glanced back at Frodo, and sternly remarked, "No cuts." With that, he jumped, and toppled on top of Legolas.
This pattern continued, with Boromir tossing the remaining groupies over, with the exception of Gimli, who strongly protested, ("Nobody tosses a dwarf!"), and jumped on his own, only to be saved from near death by Legolas. Soon, all that remained were Frodo, Boromir, and the Goose. Boromir reached for Frodo, but the hobbit stepped back. "Eh.... You go first.... I'll go over on my own...." he managed. He'd neglected to inform the others that falling long distances terrified him. Boromir gave him a look that said 'are you sure?' but actually meant 'you've got something huge between your teeth, pick it out.' Frodo nodded in response, though made no move to pick anything out of his teeth. Boromir shrugged and turned to the Goose, whose arms were out-stretched, waiting to be tossed across. Boromir turned to the others, waiting for someone to come across, and also slightly involved in a Chinese checkers match between Gimli and Sam. "There's no way I'm touching that thing," Boromir muttered, looking back at the Goose again, and hopped across.
Quite a coincidence that just as Boromir had made his way across, a large, traveling bolder came fluttering down and decided to widen the gap that Goose and Frodo had yet to jump. Yet another bolder came crashing down at an angle, hitting a large support beneath them. The small chunk of staircase began to totter. Goose glared at Frodo. "You're just cursed, aren't you? AREN'T you?!" "Oh, shut up" Frodo retaliated, pushing the Goose forward. With luck, this caused the stairs they stood on to totter forward, and shortly after, collide with the rest of the stairway. The Goose and Frodo toppled forward, completely wrecking the Chinese checkers match. "Hey! I was winning!" Sam exclaimed. "My money was riding on Gimli," Maniac protested.
"Hey," Goose interjected, "Where's Gandalf?" "Right here." The wizard remarked from behind them, "Sorry.... I REALLY had to go to the bathroom." "How did you-" "Never mind, look, there's the bridge of Kaza-dum!" Reluctantly leaving the Chinese checkers board, the Fellowship vaguely wandered over to the bridge, and, naturally, crossed it.
But what glorious luck! They were no more than half way across when oh wonder of wonders, out of no where particular, came the most terrifying thing the Fellowship had seen yet.
The great beast, a bull wreathed in flame, fiery whip in hand, snorted angrily. "W-w-w-what is.... Th-th-th-that?" Pippin squeaked, attempting to hide behind the gray robe that cloaked Gandalf's body. "A Balrog...." he whispered to the young hobbit, eyes fixated on the horrid creature in front of him, and snapping out of his trance slightly flatly said, "Run." He felt Pippin's hand leave his robe.... A good feeling. They would be out of the mine soon. No thought could be better to him now than that.
The Fellowship hid as well as they could behind a cave wall, as they watched a horrifying sight as Gandalf shouted string of phrases at the enormous terror. A light, thin stream of blue light flooded from Gandalf's staff, creating an orb around him, and the Fellowship heard the words "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" rip their way through the old wizard's throat.
And the Balrog tumbled, ever so slowly, over the edge of the bridge, falling to his death. Legolas beamed. "He's done it!" he cried as Gandalf turned on his heel and sighed. He stood briefly, and started towards them.
A hot, horrible feeling naked around his ankle. The whip! The whip was dragging him down! He fell on his face, and small pebbles scraped beneath his body and he was dragged to the edge of the bridge. He released his staff, and clutched this edge with all his might, though he felt his grip slipping. He looked at the Fellowship, hating to let them see him so helpless. They didn't like the sight any more. "Run!" he shouted at them, "Don't just stand there like dumbasses! What are you waiting for, a tour guide to show you the way out?! RUN!" and with those words, he was gone, falling into the dark abyss.
Frodo screamed and ran towards him, Boromir, grabbed at him and held him back while Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli copied the motion with the other three hobbits. They did not notice the Goose wander forward.
He had reached the edge already, and gazed down. All he saw was the dim glow of the whip falling slowly. Boromir's eyes widened with horror as he watched the small creature bend to pick up the staff, loose his footing, and do a small roll over the edge. Boromir closed his eyes tightly and lifted Frodo. He instructed the others to do the same and they all ran for the exit, too terrified to merely turn around.
A/N: Yeah, less happy-go-lucky than the other chapters, eh??? Oh, by the by, this chapter is dedicated to Mercuria. Mercuria, dear, I don't know if you're still reading this, but you did review my story, and you did say you thought the Great Goosini should die. I had planned to kill 'im off before reading your review, but either way, this chapter's for you.
There's a joke in there I felt the need to explain:
In London, the "Underground" (subway with a cooler name), like in NYC, is a popular form of travel. So, we all know what it looks like in a subway station. Picture a subway car pulling up, you move toward it as the doors slide open you step on. But of course you have to step over that tiny gap in between the concrete and the subway car. So, in the London Underground, there is a recording of a man repeating the words "Mind the gap" to warn people so they don't trip, etc.