I stare up at my ceiling. I was happy. Right? My mind was ecstatic when
I thought of my acceptance to Harvard. My heart wept tears when I felt the
sorrow of leaving him.
How did this happen? When did I fall so in love with him? It had happened so suddenly that I barely had time to comprehend its meaning. I had never felt anything like this before.
I had loved Dean, but I was never in love with him. And oh, how it hurt when he left me. I had never wallowed that much in my life. But that didn't even compare to the pain I was feeling now. Just the thought of losing Jess caused pain that I had never thought possible.
It was Thursday. Every Thursday Jess knocked on my window. Every Thursday I would let him in. And every Thursday my Mom worked late at the inn.
I was alone in my house tonight. He hadn't come. He told me. He TOLD me he would see me tomorrow. That was yesterday, right? Well, he wasn't here. And he hadn't been at the dinner this morning or afternoon. I'm mad at him; and I want to kick myself because I miss him. I miss him after one day. One day.
How would I survive Harvard without him?
* * *
I hate to admit it but I'm hungry. The pop-tart Mom made for me this morning just did not do the trick. My stomach grumbles when the bell rings overhead as I walk into the dinner.
I see Jess at the counter ringing up a customer. I would not eat here this morning, I am stronger then that.
I sit on a stool and wait for him.
"Hey." He says as he leans across the counter and kisses me. He pulls away confused because I don't respond to his touch.
"Can I have a coffee to go?" I ask. My heart flutters at the sight of him, and I resist the urge to pull him across the counter and kiss him senseless.
He raises his eyebrows, "To go?"
"I have to get to school early this morning." I lie.
And he knows. He stares at me for a moment before turning around to fill a cup.
I look around the dinner and watch as Kirk slowly eats his pancakes. My stomach grumbles once again. God, that looks so good.
"Want any?"
I jerk my head away from the fluffy pancakes to answer him, "No thank you, I'm not hungry."
He gives me an odd look but hands me the coffee. When I take it he grabs my other hand and looks at me. "You okay?" He asks.
I nod and shake my hand away from his firm grasp, "I really have to go."
He stares at me uncertainly, "Okay. I'll see you later today then?"
We always study together on Friday afternoons before I go over to my grandparents house. Well, we try to study anyway. But I shake my head, "I have a debate this afternoon, remember?" This was at least true, it was a relief that I did not have to lie to him again. I hate lying to him because he can always tell.
"Oh, right."
I pull at my skirt nervously, "Well. . ." When was the last time I had been nervous around Jess? "I have to get going." I mean it was just Jess.
He nods, "See you around." And then he leaves. He moves down the counter to serve another customer.
See you around? What's that supposed to mean? Isn't that something you say to someone who it doesn't matter when you see them next, just as long as you see them around?
I know I am going way far into one statement, but in bothers me nonetheless.
I walk out of the dinner, my coffee trembles in my hand. I look back once and am surprised to see that he is staring at me. His gaze pierces me, it's confused and sorrowful all at once. I quickly turn around and leave Luke's, I'm looking forward to day at Chilton when I have no time to think of him.
More to come soon as I finish it!!!
AN: I hope everyone agrees when I say: Tuesday's episode was amazing!!! Even the Dean lovers have to admit the kiss between Jess and Rory was beyond cuteness. I loved it!! Sorry about my rambling, I'm just so excited that they're finally together!!
And please, please review!! Even if you don't like it just let me know why!! I want to improve as much as possible and your reviews help enormously. It's also the first time I've written from the first person, so just let me know what you think. And thanks to everyone who has reviewed!!!
How did this happen? When did I fall so in love with him? It had happened so suddenly that I barely had time to comprehend its meaning. I had never felt anything like this before.
I had loved Dean, but I was never in love with him. And oh, how it hurt when he left me. I had never wallowed that much in my life. But that didn't even compare to the pain I was feeling now. Just the thought of losing Jess caused pain that I had never thought possible.
It was Thursday. Every Thursday Jess knocked on my window. Every Thursday I would let him in. And every Thursday my Mom worked late at the inn.
I was alone in my house tonight. He hadn't come. He told me. He TOLD me he would see me tomorrow. That was yesterday, right? Well, he wasn't here. And he hadn't been at the dinner this morning or afternoon. I'm mad at him; and I want to kick myself because I miss him. I miss him after one day. One day.
How would I survive Harvard without him?
* * *
I hate to admit it but I'm hungry. The pop-tart Mom made for me this morning just did not do the trick. My stomach grumbles when the bell rings overhead as I walk into the dinner.
I see Jess at the counter ringing up a customer. I would not eat here this morning, I am stronger then that.
I sit on a stool and wait for him.
"Hey." He says as he leans across the counter and kisses me. He pulls away confused because I don't respond to his touch.
"Can I have a coffee to go?" I ask. My heart flutters at the sight of him, and I resist the urge to pull him across the counter and kiss him senseless.
He raises his eyebrows, "To go?"
"I have to get to school early this morning." I lie.
And he knows. He stares at me for a moment before turning around to fill a cup.
I look around the dinner and watch as Kirk slowly eats his pancakes. My stomach grumbles once again. God, that looks so good.
"Want any?"
I jerk my head away from the fluffy pancakes to answer him, "No thank you, I'm not hungry."
He gives me an odd look but hands me the coffee. When I take it he grabs my other hand and looks at me. "You okay?" He asks.
I nod and shake my hand away from his firm grasp, "I really have to go."
He stares at me uncertainly, "Okay. I'll see you later today then?"
We always study together on Friday afternoons before I go over to my grandparents house. Well, we try to study anyway. But I shake my head, "I have a debate this afternoon, remember?" This was at least true, it was a relief that I did not have to lie to him again. I hate lying to him because he can always tell.
"Oh, right."
I pull at my skirt nervously, "Well. . ." When was the last time I had been nervous around Jess? "I have to get going." I mean it was just Jess.
He nods, "See you around." And then he leaves. He moves down the counter to serve another customer.
See you around? What's that supposed to mean? Isn't that something you say to someone who it doesn't matter when you see them next, just as long as you see them around?
I know I am going way far into one statement, but in bothers me nonetheless.
I walk out of the dinner, my coffee trembles in my hand. I look back once and am surprised to see that he is staring at me. His gaze pierces me, it's confused and sorrowful all at once. I quickly turn around and leave Luke's, I'm looking forward to day at Chilton when I have no time to think of him.
More to come soon as I finish it!!!
AN: I hope everyone agrees when I say: Tuesday's episode was amazing!!! Even the Dean lovers have to admit the kiss between Jess and Rory was beyond cuteness. I loved it!! Sorry about my rambling, I'm just so excited that they're finally together!!
And please, please review!! Even if you don't like it just let me know why!! I want to improve as much as possible and your reviews help enormously. It's also the first time I've written from the first person, so just let me know what you think. And thanks to everyone who has reviewed!!!