Her arm comes around me, caring and loving. She squeezes me to her,
"What's wrong hon?" She asks.
I shrug under the pressure of her arm, "I'm fine." I force a smile.
She rolls her eyes, "Now I KNOW you better then that! You barely spoke a word tonight."
I look up at her trustfully, "Can I tell you later?"
"Of course." She kisses my forehead tenderly. "How about some of Lukey's coffee?"
I shake my head, "Is it okay if I just go home?"
We just got back from dinner at the grandparents house, we had stopped at Doose's to get some bare essentials and were now on our way to Luke's.
She sees my expression and seems to understand somehow, "Sure. Meet you home in half an hour?"
Relieved, I say, "Sounds good."
I watch as my Mom makes her way to the dinner in her jaunty walk that I could never copy. I shove my hands in my pockets away from the cold. Thank God I didn't wear a skirt tonight. My cheeks are frozen and probably bright red, I haunch over in attempts to hide my face in my jacket.
Despite the cold I decide to take the long walk home anyway, the bitter sweet chill is somewhat refreshing. I walk slowly, breathing in the sharp, frigid air; it manages to clear my head. The cold front had blasted into Stars Hollow suddenly, just when we thought spring was on its way, but winter came back and trampled us. Taking everyone by surprise with the icy snow and a killing chill that shot straight to the bones. It was the end of March and spring suddenly seemed very far away.
(Hold me love,
I can't sleep again,
will I have to kiss your nose,
I wanna lay here next to him,
love,)
I sigh and stare at the ground as I trod across the snow. I watch as it cracks and breaks under my weight, in the stillness it drills into my ears. I'm nearing the bridge when I finally look up, my eyes widen in surprise.
He's there. I should have known really. I think I did. On some subconscious level I did.
I can see his breath in the chilled air, or maybe it's just the smoke from the cigarette that he holds idly in his hand.
I'm about to turn away when he hears me, his eyes catch mine and I cannot bare to look away.
"Those things will kill you." I say for lack of something better. I walk to him.
He glances down at the half burned tip of his cigarette and shrugs, "So will coffee, but that never stops you."
I try to grin, but then he looks up at me and my face falters. He's not grinning at all, his face his hard and pulled back.
(I remember walking in the rain,
rain was falling on my hands,
I don't wanna live through that again,
no.)
I stop walking where I am, halfway across the bridge, so close to him. I feel uncomfortable, never have I felt this way with Jess before. What was happening? I have no idea what to say.
He stares across at the water and flicks his cigarette away, "How was the debate?" He asks.
"We won." I pause, "Or Paris won really, no one can get a word in with her." The cold is really biting at me now, I shiver.
He notices. He indicates the place next to him where the snow has been cleared, "Sit."
I obey, sitting next to him warms my whole body. Just being close to him sends heated sparks through my entire being.
He slides closer to me until our legs are touching, he reaches into my pocket and takes out my hand. He slowly takes off my glove and tosses it aside, he rubs my hand until it glows in warmth, and then he traces my palm. "What's wrong?" He asks simply. He trails his fingers up and down my own.
(I know it takes love,
love is a healing thing,
when you give everything,)
"Where were you yesterday night?" I answer with a question.
He doesn't answer for a moment, but continues to trace my hand. Finally he brings it to his lips and gently kisses each of my fingers. "I had SAT classes."
My eyebrows raise in brilliant surprise, "SAT classes?! Why didn't you tell me?"
He smiles at my surprise, "I wanted to impress you with my dazzling scores when I got them back." He shrugs, "But who knows if I actually take them, so I didn't want to disappoint you either."
"Oh, Jess . . . " I snuggle closer to him. "You could never disappoint me!"
"I wish that were true." He murmurs.
I frown when he says this, "Jess I don't care about what you get on those stupid tests. You don't have to prove to me that you're smart, I've known that for awhile."
He's silent for a moment and when he finally speaks he changes the subject, "I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday night. I didn't realize you'd miss me."
I always miss you, I thought. But instead I said, "Well, I did."
"That's not the only reason you're upset."
How does he know me so well? I don't answer.
He grips my hand with both of his, "I'm sorry I haven't really been around as much, it's those damn SAT classes."
I nod. I know I should be happier about the classes, but instead I'm scared. I try to push them away, but repulsive thoughts slowly fester their way into my mind.
(you're loving the world,
the world gives you love to hold onto,
remembering,
we seldom remember love.)
He becomes frustrated when I don't answer again, he cups my face in his hands. "Rory." He says.
I can't help but start to ramble, "How far away do you think you'll go? I mean New York was far enough, but what if you decide you like the west coast? What's wrong with the east coast? What's wrong with Stars Hollow? You'd probably want to get as far away as possible, most likely California. Or maybe Alaska? You'd be able to go anywhere really after you take those tests, you'll have the whole world at your finger tips! Why would you want to stay here anyway? Nothing is stopping you. You'll just leave and never come back. I mean, how far do you think you'll go?"
He still holds my face, "Is that what this is about?"
I bite my lip and look down. I nod.
He pulls away, "Wow."
My head snaps back up, no longer ashamed, "Is that all you can say? WOW?! I mean I go over to your house and tell you I've been accepted to Harvard and all you can say is that you're happy for me! You don't even show the least bit of emotion, it would've been nice if you had grimaced or something! But no! There wasn't even one grimace. I tell you I will be leaving Stars Hollow for like ever, and not even a grimace. I'll I'm asking for is a grimace!"
He's staring at me, "Done?"
I breathe in and out, "Yes."
"Would you like me to grimace?" He asks. I can tell he's holding back a smile.
"Yes." I whisper.
"Okay." He says and he contorts his face until an over exaggerated grimace appears making me laugh until my stomach hurts. When I stop laughing he leans his face close to mine, "I'm sorry I didn't show any emotion, I didn't think you wanted to see any."
I pout, "Well, I did."
He kisses my jaw, "Next time I will then. I'm just as scared as you are Rory."
(Just give me many chances,
I'll see you through it all,
just give me time to learn to crawl.)
I look at him, "Really?" It's not often that he shares his emotions with me.
"It scared the hell out of me."
I throw myself into his arms and hug him hard, "Oh! I'm so glad."
He holds me tight, "Are you better now?" He asks.
When we pull away I say, "Yes, much."
He leans in to kiss me but I place a hand on his chest and push him away, "I don't want your cigarette breath." I say making a face.
He grins, "I wasn't smoking it. Promise."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I just like to look at it and pretend to be smoking it."
I giggle.
"It's true!" He says exasperated, "The things I do for you."
"If you didn't then I wouldn't let you kiss me."
"I shall never touch another cigarette!" He swears dramatically.
"Okay, good. Will you kiss me now?" I ask sweetly.
"I'd be much obliged."
He leans in and kisses me sweetly and slowly. I find no trace of smoke on his lips, only a lingering sense of stale peppermint. He pulls me closer until my chest is touching his, he deepens the kiss with his tongue, pushing his way in and out of my mouth sensually. My hands have a life of their own as they run up his chest and then down his back, pulling him closer to me. If that was even possible. One of his hands comes up my back and cradles my head, the other is on the small of my back, warming me.
I am breathless when we pull away.
(In September,
when the rain comes,
and the wind blows,
I will see you walking in the coat of,)
"Taste okay?" He asks with a slight smirk on his face.
I scrunch my eyebrows, "I don't know. I don't think I got the full effect."
He laughs and pulls my lips to his once again. This kiss scares me. It's full of passion and lust as he wraps both arms around me tightly, crushing our lips together. I snake an arm around his neck and push my hand through his hair. His wonderful thick, hair. My whole body is alive, sparking and sizzling with his taste, his peppermint taste. I moan softly as he moves from my mouth to my jaw to my neck.
He nibbles on my neck for a moment and then moves back up to my mouth, kissing me lightly.
He grin when he looks into my eyes, I cannot stop smiling. "I love your kisses."
He laughs, "Ditto."
"And there was no trace of cigarette!" I say.
He raises his eyebrows, "Would I ever lie to you?"
"No." I answer truthfully. "I lied to you this morning." I blurt out.
He shrugs, "I know."
"I really was hungry and I didn't have to be to school early."
"It's okay Rory, I knew anyway. When are you going to learn that you can't lie to me anyway?" He asks seriously.
I shrug, "I knew it didn't work." I look up at him, "I'm sorry."
"I already forgave you."
"Thank you."
He pulls me to him and embraces me tightly. "That was out first fight." He says.
"It was scary, I didn't like it." I snuggle deeper into his embrace, "Let's never fight again"
"I don't know, the make up part wasn't so bad."
I smile, "No it wasn't too bad." I pull away. "But I still hated it."
"I love you." He says
(If you let me,
I will keep you here inside the stars,
I will love the salt on my sheets,
oh you'll love me.)
I stare at him in shock, it was the first time he'd ever said that to me. I already knew he did even though he never uttered a word, but it sounded so much different in his voice.
His soft chocolate eyes stare back at me, trust and hope turn inside of them. And now I know what else is there: love.
Happiness surges through me, it awakens every part of my body. A slow smile starts on my face, this was much better the receiving my acceptance letter. So much better. I never knew words could effect me in this way, it felt wonderful.
"I know." I answer.
"You do?" He asks surprised.
"You can't lie to me either." I say.
"Apparently not at all." He kisses me. "So?"
"So what?"
"Could I maybe have an answer?"
"I think you already know."
"Yeah, but I'd still like to hear it." His face is elite with tranquility. Like his life was finally complete.
I know mine is. "I love you Jess Mariano." I had never said the words aloud before. So many times had I spoken them in my head, but finally I could trace them on my lips.
(Just give me many chances,
I'll see you through it all,
just give me time to learn to crawl,)
"And I love you Rory Gilmore."
I loved the way he said my name, no one else could say it the way he did. So startling. I lean my forehead against his, "This is better then my acceptance letter."
He grins, "I figured." And he kisses me again.
* * *
I swing the door open after watching him walk down my driveway and disappear into the street.
Mom meets me in the foyer, "Hey you're home late." She stares at me hard, she notices my shining face, my sparkling eyes, the way I could not help but smile so widely my cheeks hurt, she can't help but notice that everything around me glows. She draws in her breath, "What happened?" She whispers.
I walk to her and hug her hard, when I pull away I look straight into her blue eyes. Blue on blue. "I just had the best night of my whole entire life."
She stares hard at me, "Jess?" She whispers.
I nod, "Mom, I am so in love it hurts."
She nods and hugs me again as if she knows that I am no longer a child, I have finally grown.
And I've never before in my life felt so loved as I did right then.
(time to learn to crawl,
time to learn to crawl,
time to learn to crawl.)
THE END
AN: I would just like to say that I was so disappointed in this past Tuesdays episode!! The parts with Jess and Rory were great of course (although not very long), but on the previews they completely over exaggerated the fight between Jess and Dean. That really pisses me off. And then the way Lorelai completely overreacted to Rory applying to Yale; she would've applied even if they hadn't gone on that trip to see it!! I'm sorry for the rambling again, I was just so upset by the whole thing because I had been so excited to see it. It turned out to be a real dud. Anyway, I'll stop now.
AN 2: Review! Review! I really want to know what everybody thinks of this story and whether or not I should do a sequel. So, PLEASE review and let me know if I should do one or not, and criticism is completely welcome!!
I shrug under the pressure of her arm, "I'm fine." I force a smile.
She rolls her eyes, "Now I KNOW you better then that! You barely spoke a word tonight."
I look up at her trustfully, "Can I tell you later?"
"Of course." She kisses my forehead tenderly. "How about some of Lukey's coffee?"
I shake my head, "Is it okay if I just go home?"
We just got back from dinner at the grandparents house, we had stopped at Doose's to get some bare essentials and were now on our way to Luke's.
She sees my expression and seems to understand somehow, "Sure. Meet you home in half an hour?"
Relieved, I say, "Sounds good."
I watch as my Mom makes her way to the dinner in her jaunty walk that I could never copy. I shove my hands in my pockets away from the cold. Thank God I didn't wear a skirt tonight. My cheeks are frozen and probably bright red, I haunch over in attempts to hide my face in my jacket.
Despite the cold I decide to take the long walk home anyway, the bitter sweet chill is somewhat refreshing. I walk slowly, breathing in the sharp, frigid air; it manages to clear my head. The cold front had blasted into Stars Hollow suddenly, just when we thought spring was on its way, but winter came back and trampled us. Taking everyone by surprise with the icy snow and a killing chill that shot straight to the bones. It was the end of March and spring suddenly seemed very far away.
(Hold me love,
I can't sleep again,
will I have to kiss your nose,
I wanna lay here next to him,
love,)
I sigh and stare at the ground as I trod across the snow. I watch as it cracks and breaks under my weight, in the stillness it drills into my ears. I'm nearing the bridge when I finally look up, my eyes widen in surprise.
He's there. I should have known really. I think I did. On some subconscious level I did.
I can see his breath in the chilled air, or maybe it's just the smoke from the cigarette that he holds idly in his hand.
I'm about to turn away when he hears me, his eyes catch mine and I cannot bare to look away.
"Those things will kill you." I say for lack of something better. I walk to him.
He glances down at the half burned tip of his cigarette and shrugs, "So will coffee, but that never stops you."
I try to grin, but then he looks up at me and my face falters. He's not grinning at all, his face his hard and pulled back.
(I remember walking in the rain,
rain was falling on my hands,
I don't wanna live through that again,
no.)
I stop walking where I am, halfway across the bridge, so close to him. I feel uncomfortable, never have I felt this way with Jess before. What was happening? I have no idea what to say.
He stares across at the water and flicks his cigarette away, "How was the debate?" He asks.
"We won." I pause, "Or Paris won really, no one can get a word in with her." The cold is really biting at me now, I shiver.
He notices. He indicates the place next to him where the snow has been cleared, "Sit."
I obey, sitting next to him warms my whole body. Just being close to him sends heated sparks through my entire being.
He slides closer to me until our legs are touching, he reaches into my pocket and takes out my hand. He slowly takes off my glove and tosses it aside, he rubs my hand until it glows in warmth, and then he traces my palm. "What's wrong?" He asks simply. He trails his fingers up and down my own.
(I know it takes love,
love is a healing thing,
when you give everything,)
"Where were you yesterday night?" I answer with a question.
He doesn't answer for a moment, but continues to trace my hand. Finally he brings it to his lips and gently kisses each of my fingers. "I had SAT classes."
My eyebrows raise in brilliant surprise, "SAT classes?! Why didn't you tell me?"
He smiles at my surprise, "I wanted to impress you with my dazzling scores when I got them back." He shrugs, "But who knows if I actually take them, so I didn't want to disappoint you either."
"Oh, Jess . . . " I snuggle closer to him. "You could never disappoint me!"
"I wish that were true." He murmurs.
I frown when he says this, "Jess I don't care about what you get on those stupid tests. You don't have to prove to me that you're smart, I've known that for awhile."
He's silent for a moment and when he finally speaks he changes the subject, "I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday night. I didn't realize you'd miss me."
I always miss you, I thought. But instead I said, "Well, I did."
"That's not the only reason you're upset."
How does he know me so well? I don't answer.
He grips my hand with both of his, "I'm sorry I haven't really been around as much, it's those damn SAT classes."
I nod. I know I should be happier about the classes, but instead I'm scared. I try to push them away, but repulsive thoughts slowly fester their way into my mind.
(you're loving the world,
the world gives you love to hold onto,
remembering,
we seldom remember love.)
He becomes frustrated when I don't answer again, he cups my face in his hands. "Rory." He says.
I can't help but start to ramble, "How far away do you think you'll go? I mean New York was far enough, but what if you decide you like the west coast? What's wrong with the east coast? What's wrong with Stars Hollow? You'd probably want to get as far away as possible, most likely California. Or maybe Alaska? You'd be able to go anywhere really after you take those tests, you'll have the whole world at your finger tips! Why would you want to stay here anyway? Nothing is stopping you. You'll just leave and never come back. I mean, how far do you think you'll go?"
He still holds my face, "Is that what this is about?"
I bite my lip and look down. I nod.
He pulls away, "Wow."
My head snaps back up, no longer ashamed, "Is that all you can say? WOW?! I mean I go over to your house and tell you I've been accepted to Harvard and all you can say is that you're happy for me! You don't even show the least bit of emotion, it would've been nice if you had grimaced or something! But no! There wasn't even one grimace. I tell you I will be leaving Stars Hollow for like ever, and not even a grimace. I'll I'm asking for is a grimace!"
He's staring at me, "Done?"
I breathe in and out, "Yes."
"Would you like me to grimace?" He asks. I can tell he's holding back a smile.
"Yes." I whisper.
"Okay." He says and he contorts his face until an over exaggerated grimace appears making me laugh until my stomach hurts. When I stop laughing he leans his face close to mine, "I'm sorry I didn't show any emotion, I didn't think you wanted to see any."
I pout, "Well, I did."
He kisses my jaw, "Next time I will then. I'm just as scared as you are Rory."
(Just give me many chances,
I'll see you through it all,
just give me time to learn to crawl.)
I look at him, "Really?" It's not often that he shares his emotions with me.
"It scared the hell out of me."
I throw myself into his arms and hug him hard, "Oh! I'm so glad."
He holds me tight, "Are you better now?" He asks.
When we pull away I say, "Yes, much."
He leans in to kiss me but I place a hand on his chest and push him away, "I don't want your cigarette breath." I say making a face.
He grins, "I wasn't smoking it. Promise."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I just like to look at it and pretend to be smoking it."
I giggle.
"It's true!" He says exasperated, "The things I do for you."
"If you didn't then I wouldn't let you kiss me."
"I shall never touch another cigarette!" He swears dramatically.
"Okay, good. Will you kiss me now?" I ask sweetly.
"I'd be much obliged."
He leans in and kisses me sweetly and slowly. I find no trace of smoke on his lips, only a lingering sense of stale peppermint. He pulls me closer until my chest is touching his, he deepens the kiss with his tongue, pushing his way in and out of my mouth sensually. My hands have a life of their own as they run up his chest and then down his back, pulling him closer to me. If that was even possible. One of his hands comes up my back and cradles my head, the other is on the small of my back, warming me.
I am breathless when we pull away.
(In September,
when the rain comes,
and the wind blows,
I will see you walking in the coat of,)
"Taste okay?" He asks with a slight smirk on his face.
I scrunch my eyebrows, "I don't know. I don't think I got the full effect."
He laughs and pulls my lips to his once again. This kiss scares me. It's full of passion and lust as he wraps both arms around me tightly, crushing our lips together. I snake an arm around his neck and push my hand through his hair. His wonderful thick, hair. My whole body is alive, sparking and sizzling with his taste, his peppermint taste. I moan softly as he moves from my mouth to my jaw to my neck.
He nibbles on my neck for a moment and then moves back up to my mouth, kissing me lightly.
He grin when he looks into my eyes, I cannot stop smiling. "I love your kisses."
He laughs, "Ditto."
"And there was no trace of cigarette!" I say.
He raises his eyebrows, "Would I ever lie to you?"
"No." I answer truthfully. "I lied to you this morning." I blurt out.
He shrugs, "I know."
"I really was hungry and I didn't have to be to school early."
"It's okay Rory, I knew anyway. When are you going to learn that you can't lie to me anyway?" He asks seriously.
I shrug, "I knew it didn't work." I look up at him, "I'm sorry."
"I already forgave you."
"Thank you."
He pulls me to him and embraces me tightly. "That was out first fight." He says.
"It was scary, I didn't like it." I snuggle deeper into his embrace, "Let's never fight again"
"I don't know, the make up part wasn't so bad."
I smile, "No it wasn't too bad." I pull away. "But I still hated it."
"I love you." He says
(If you let me,
I will keep you here inside the stars,
I will love the salt on my sheets,
oh you'll love me.)
I stare at him in shock, it was the first time he'd ever said that to me. I already knew he did even though he never uttered a word, but it sounded so much different in his voice.
His soft chocolate eyes stare back at me, trust and hope turn inside of them. And now I know what else is there: love.
Happiness surges through me, it awakens every part of my body. A slow smile starts on my face, this was much better the receiving my acceptance letter. So much better. I never knew words could effect me in this way, it felt wonderful.
"I know." I answer.
"You do?" He asks surprised.
"You can't lie to me either." I say.
"Apparently not at all." He kisses me. "So?"
"So what?"
"Could I maybe have an answer?"
"I think you already know."
"Yeah, but I'd still like to hear it." His face is elite with tranquility. Like his life was finally complete.
I know mine is. "I love you Jess Mariano." I had never said the words aloud before. So many times had I spoken them in my head, but finally I could trace them on my lips.
(Just give me many chances,
I'll see you through it all,
just give me time to learn to crawl,)
"And I love you Rory Gilmore."
I loved the way he said my name, no one else could say it the way he did. So startling. I lean my forehead against his, "This is better then my acceptance letter."
He grins, "I figured." And he kisses me again.
* * *
I swing the door open after watching him walk down my driveway and disappear into the street.
Mom meets me in the foyer, "Hey you're home late." She stares at me hard, she notices my shining face, my sparkling eyes, the way I could not help but smile so widely my cheeks hurt, she can't help but notice that everything around me glows. She draws in her breath, "What happened?" She whispers.
I walk to her and hug her hard, when I pull away I look straight into her blue eyes. Blue on blue. "I just had the best night of my whole entire life."
She stares hard at me, "Jess?" She whispers.
I nod, "Mom, I am so in love it hurts."
She nods and hugs me again as if she knows that I am no longer a child, I have finally grown.
And I've never before in my life felt so loved as I did right then.
(time to learn to crawl,
time to learn to crawl,
time to learn to crawl.)
THE END
AN: I would just like to say that I was so disappointed in this past Tuesdays episode!! The parts with Jess and Rory were great of course (although not very long), but on the previews they completely over exaggerated the fight between Jess and Dean. That really pisses me off. And then the way Lorelai completely overreacted to Rory applying to Yale; she would've applied even if they hadn't gone on that trip to see it!! I'm sorry for the rambling again, I was just so upset by the whole thing because I had been so excited to see it. It turned out to be a real dud. Anyway, I'll stop now.
AN 2: Review! Review! I really want to know what everybody thinks of this story and whether or not I should do a sequel. So, PLEASE review and let me know if I should do one or not, and criticism is completely welcome!!