A Good Soldier -- Chapter 6
By Slayne
The next day was a strange one. It was subdued and quiet around the camp with a barely discernable sense of excitement. The final test was about to begin. It would last three days and test the endurance, both physically and mentally, of the recruits who remained. It would begin the next morning and not let up for 72 hours. Wayne and Brad took the recruits for a light run in the morning, and then the rest of the day was spent in explanation and preperation of the final war game.
Wayne had spent the night before in Will's makeshift office, explaining to him and a Colonel from the Covert-Ops school what had happened that night and how he had killed the would-be thief in the jungle. He didn't think much would come of it, but you could never be sure.
He yawned now as he watched the recruits pack their gear for the next morning. Everything they would need, or were allowed, for the next three days. His eyes wandered to the far corner, where Burnett was carefully stuffing the gear into her pack. He felt a rivulet of guilt wash through him as he remembered the way he had driven her a few days ago. It was followed by a strange mix of respect, affection and pride in the way she continued to comport herself and drive forward. Her green eyes met his a couple of times, and he didn't bother to look away. He let her feel him studying her. She thought he disliked her. What would she say if she knew the truth?
The packs were ordered left in here,locked in the recon room, until the next morning. Then the recruits were dismissed for the evening. They could use the free time to get some sleep and rest up for the next three days of hell, or they could use it to party prematurely and cause themselves undue hardship and risk an incomplete on the course. Their choice. Wayne was quite sure they'd all take the time to rest up. He nodded to Brad as the man left to walk the courses one last time in final preperation. Will glanced at him and then at Wayne.
"You've been quiet lately, Wayne. Why don't you come down for a beer tonight?"
Wayne grimaced and began to refuse. Will saw it and scowled.
"Just one. We'll be busy for the next three days and then it's over. I have to be back in the States on Saturday."
"I don't think so. I need to get some sleep. How bout mess though? I'm starving."
"No...I'm eating with the Colonel. He wants an overview of what's going on. I'll lock up here...go on."
Wayne stood and gave him a salute since he was covered and armed. Will returned it, dismissing him, and pulled a set of keys from his pocket. Wayne walked through the door and out into the yard. He got halfway to the mess building before stopping. He sighed to himself and hesitated. One beer wouldn't hurt. He glanced back towards the door and then grinned and turned towards it. He burst back through it and into the recon room, his mouth opening to to swear at Will and tell him he was buying...when he stopped in shock.
Will was bent over one of the packs on the floor. He looked surprised when Wayne burst back in and his eyes widened slightly as they met the Staff Sergeant's. Wayne stared back, the smile dropping from his face as he saw the open pack and the climbing rope in the Major's left hand, a small buck knife in his right. The rope was frayed just slightly in a few places, where the knife had been strategically applied. Wayne knew exactly who the pack belonged to. He had watched Burnett place it in the far corner himself.
"Wayne.." Will began, calmly, his voice already sounding placating.
"Will, what the hell are you doing?" The dead calmness of his voice contradicted the small ball of anger that began creeping through his mind. Will set the rope down and then folded the knife, sliding it back into his cargo pocket.
"Look, Wayne...you don't want her here anymore than I do. You don't want to be the one who has to serve with her, do you?"
Wayne said nothing, but every muscle in his body tensed as the realization hit home. Black fury enveloped him in a way it hadn't done since he was a kid.
"She was doing fine." He spat between clenched teeth.
"Exactly, Wayne...don't you see? She was going to make it and that's bullshit! We talk about it all the time! You joke about it right along with me." His voice was strong, but there was an underlying whine to it that Wayne had never noticed before.
"Joking's one thing, Will...but you're cutting her goddamn climbing rope!"
"She wouldn't get hurt..not bad anyway. I cut it enough so it'd break right away...I..."
"You pretentious bastard!" Wayne growled at him, and he saw a brief look of fear on the officer's face. "You self-serving, cowardly little fuck!"
Will's face registered anger now and he tried to regain control of the situation.
"Don't call me a fucking coward, Wayne! I fought right alongside you in Benning. I was in Grenada. Don't make me pull rank on you!"
Wayne nearly exploded in anger then. He suddenly rushed forward and grabbed the front of Will's shirt, slamming him back against the wall. The whole shack shook with the impact and Will inhaled sharply as he stared down into the furious brown eyes of the Ranger.
"Let me go, Sneeden! If I want to I could have your ass in the provost marshall's office and up on charges in an hour."
Wayne stared at him with barely contained anger and something akin to disappointment. "Then call them, Will. Let's see what they have to say when they hear my side of the story."
Will glared at him and tried to break free, but Wayne slammed the bigger man back against the wall and snarled at him.
"If you ever...EVER...try to sabotage one of my soldiers again, Major, I will sneak into your room when you're sleeping and put my fucking combat knife right through your throat and into your pillow. Understand?"
"You ever touch me again, Staff Sergeant, and your career is over."
"Do you understand?" Wayne shouted it three inches away from the Major's face.
"Yes." Will was seething but he swallowed hard and Wayne had no doubt that the man believed every word he had just said. He felt disgusted, hurt, furious and sick all at the same time and realized he was perilously close to beating the crap out of a superior officer. But...it was still Will. He suddenly released the Major and shoved him away from himself. Will whirled on him as soon as he found his balance.
"I thought you were my fucking friend, Wayne."
"And I thought you were mine."
"This whole damn Army is run on games and unwritten rules. You'd better learn how to play, or someone is going to throw you to the wolves someday. Don't fuck with me, Sneeden. Not ever again!" He turned and propelled himself through the door.
Wayne stood in the middle of the recon room and stared after him for a long time. He had thought Will and he were the same. That somehow, inspite of his efforts to keep people at a distance, he and Will would be friends for a long, long time. Somehow he had been wrong. Somehow he had missed something somewhere. Somehow, he always did.
Well, what the hell do you expect, he told himself sharply. It's your own damn fault. You know better than to set yourself up like that. The sick feeling in his belly had begun to fade, or else he had fought it off...but the anger was still simmering and he turned and slammed a fist violently into the wall, where Will had been pinned only moments before. Pain blossomed through his knuckles but it felt good. He hit it again and then stared at the splash of red that stayed behind. The trace of hot tears in his eyes made him angrier and embarassed and he smashed the side of his fist into the wall once more. The old wood and plaster cracked. His hand was numb now, his wrist ached. He got control of himself again.
He leaned forward on his uninjured hand and let the top of his head rest against the wall while he stared at the pack at his feet. He could take the pack and his testimony to the nearby training base and report Will to the ranking officer. He should do that. A good soldier would do that. But again...it was still Will. The one person he had felt connected to all this time.
He glanced at his knuckles. Blood was running down over his fingers and dripping onto the floor. He took a deep breath and wiped the hand on his pants, holding it there until the bleeding stopped. He bent down and picked up the damaged rope and took it outside. He threw it in one of the garbage cans and then went to the supply shed and picked out a new one. He took it back and stuffed it in Burnett's pack. Then...he went looking for Burnett.
He found her in the mess tent, sitting with a few of the remaining recruits. She had just finished her dinner and the book of Shakespeare's sonnets was laying in it's place beside her tray as she chatted with one of the young Lieutenants.
"Burnett!" He barked, louder than he meant to, but the rage still simmered within' him and he found himself reacting to it unexpectedly.
The whole tent looked up and Burnett seemed surprised when she looked up to see him. She stood immediately, and he heard the low comments from her companions.
"What did you do now to piss him off, Burnett?"
She didn't answer them and he ignored them as well, but one well-delivered glare silenced the higher-ranking men.
"Get your ass out here...now!" He turned and walked out of the tent and she grabbed her book from the table, shoving it in her pocket, and then followed him out.
"I'm sorry, Staff. Did I do some..."
"Shut up, Corporal. Follow me." He strided towards the recon room and she followed him silently. When they got there, he walked over and took her pack and threw it at her feet. She stared down at it in confusion and then back up at him.
"From now on, you keep your gear in your barracks with you at night. In the mornings you're going to get up and report a half hour earlier than anyone else. You will then re-check all your equipment and re-pack it yourself. I want you to do this twice, understand? Once when everyone else does it and once more right before we march out."
She stared at him in disbelief. "Staff, I assure you...I know how to pack gear correctly. I..."
"I don't give a fuck what you know! You'll do it. You can do it right now!"
She stared at him again and when his glare darkened, she set her mouth firmly and sank down to her knees, opening the pack. She began pulling her gear out of it and then stopped as she pulled the new rope from it. She stared at it with a look of confusion.
"You check your gear...all of it...before we march out...and then you don't let it out of your sight again. Got it?" His voice was still hard but it had softened. He watched as understanding flooded into her eyes. She stared at the rope and then swallowed hard. When she glanced up at him, he saw the barest hint of hurt in her eyes, of frustration with the fact that some things would never change. It made him want to hunt Will down and beat him into a bloody pulp.
"No one gets a free ride in my camp, Corporal. But everyone gets a fair shot."
She nodded and began slowly re-packing her gear. "Thank you, Staff. I'll report half an hour early and repeat this just like you ordered."
"Good." He started to walk past her and then hesitated. His hand hovered over her shoulder. He wanted to give her some sense of comfort, some reassurance. He wondered if she would even find any of that in his touch. He drew his hand back and walked out of the room.
He didn't sleep much that night. He wasn't sure what would go on between him and Will now, and he couldn't dispell that dull ache from his gut. He managed to sleep for a few solid hours just before dawn. The recruits were lined up and ready at first light after reveille. Wayne was somewhat relieved when Will acted professionally and curt with him. There was no warmth or friendship there..but no nastiness either. Two co-workers who had to deal with each other.
As his gaze flew down the line of recruits, he noticed an absence suddenly. Where the hell was Burnett? He glanced around the yard and did not see her. He moved to Brad's side.
"Brad...was Corporal Burnett at reveille?"
Brad thought. "I don't remember seeing her." He scanned the row of recruits. "She'd better show up soon."
Wayne watched as Brad walked towards Will and said something to him. The Major glanced along the row of recruits and then questioned them about Burnett's absence. None of them knew where she was. Wayne thought about it for a moment and then walked past the Major.
"I'll look for her. I think I know where she is."
"Hurry up, Staff Sergeant. She better be here in 15 minutes or I'll dock her time."
Their gazes met brutally and Wayne did not look away until Will did. Then he jogged off towards the women's barracks. Instead of going inside, he veered around the building and stopped at the back. There was Burnett, sitting calmly on the ground, staring into the jungle. Her pack sat at her side. He walked towards her, preparing to dress her down for being late. He hesitated when he reached her side. She didn't look up at him although he had done nothing to walk quietly. She was sitting, with knees drawn up to her chest, arms locked around her shins.
"You're late, Burnett. Get up and get your ass into gear."
She didn't move. Her voice was soft and ... unsure when she spoke. "Do I really belong here, Staff?"
"What?" He was taken aback by that and for a brief moment, didn't understand what she was saying.
"Tell me the truth. Do you think I belong here?"
He stared down at her for a long, silent moment. If she had asked him that at the beginning of this course, he would have told her absolutely not. Now?
"When did you start caring about what anyone else thought?"
"I don't know...sometimes I just think I don't belong here." She had an incredible look of indecision on her face as she glanced up at him finally. He hesitated in contemplation between shouting at her to stop feeling sorry for herself or to talk to her seriously. She didn't know who had sabotaged her climbing rope, but she knew something had happened to it. She had a right to some indecision, he decided.
"Are you saying that because you really believe that or are you saying that because you think you should believe that?"
Her brows drew together in thought, as if it was a new thought she hadn't seen before. She glanced at him as he lowered himself to his heels beside her.
"People can fool you into thinking that you SHOULD feel a certain way about life...when in reality, you don't. Most people would strive for a lifestyle similar to the one you enjoyed before the Army. They can't and won't understand someone who's already from that lifestyle wanting or accepting...well...less."
"Is that what you think I'm doing?" She asked quietly. "Accepting less?"
"No. From experience I know you're finding more than you thought you ever would."
Her gaze shifted to his in surprise. He met her eyes steadily.
"But, you don't want me here." She stated.
"I want what's best for the Army, Corporal. But I don't take anyone's word for it. I expect proof."
A hidden hurt came into her eyes. "Sometimes proof doesn't matter. It's not enough to change some people's opinions."
Wayne's jaw tensed and he fought the bitter anger growing within him at Will. He ran finger over the crimson scabs on his knuckles where he had punched the wall of the recon room. Her eyes followed the motion and she stared at the angry looking wound. He hesitated over his next words, but he was through playing nursemaid for today. She'd either get over it and get her rear off the ground or she could quit and go back to her unit...and disappoint him utterly in the process.
"To tell you the truth, I didn't think you'd make it this far." He stated. That hidden hurt on her face morphed into anger, and he felt a wave of satisfaction. He'd rather see that anger there driving her then self-pity.
"I know everyone just thinks I'm some rich bitch here trying to piss off daddy. And believe me...it has pissed him off royally! But I'm trying to find my own life here. My own path. I'm not just some typical rich girl who wants to shop all day and party all night. I want to have a purpose!"
He wanted to tell her he understood, and that he wasn't an insufferable prick all the time. He wanted to commisserate with her. But once said, it seemed you couldn't avoid travelling further down that path. the destination pulled you like a ten ton magnet pulled a nail. He wasn't going to tempt fate and start down that path. And he wasn't going to put her on that path either. It would be betraying her and failing her in the biggest way possible.
"Are you saying you're going to get up off your ass and finish this course?"
"I'm going to get through this, Staff. Despite what anyone else thinks. And despite you!"
She shot to her feet and grabbed her pack, slinging it onto her back and jogging off. He stood slowly and watched her. He had no doubt that she'd make it through this. With flying colors.
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ONE YEAR LATER-
Wayne glanced out the window of the small plane at the patchwork of fields and subdivisions below them. The steady drone of the plane's engines thrummed in his head and he shifted in his seat, running a hand over his nearly shorn scalp. His watch said they were nearing their destination. He'd soon be at his new base and entrenched in his new job.
As the sole passenger except for the two pilots, he'd had ample time to himself. He glanced down at the book laying in the empty seat beside him, then picked it up. It had become dog-eared and well worn in the year since he had bought it at the Covert-Ops school's commissary store. He hadn't really read it much, he found Shakespeare too...tedious and cloying for his tastes. But he kept the book and took it out occasionally. He kept hoping that something would click in his mind while he read it, and that suddenly the events of a year ago would make sense and come into sharp focus for him. They never did.
The final test had gone as planned. Corporal Burnett had taken her place among the recruits and all of the group had finished the course. She had actually done exceedingly well in the final. She had jumped into a leadership role and acted decisively and correctly. Somehow all that self- doubt had disappeared when the exercise had begun. He'd given her a solid evaluation that had been filtered through Will, so he didn't know how she had faired in the final test of brass. He was not told what happened to any of the soldiers who had completed the camp.
He and Will had basically ignored each other the final three days. Will had left very soon afterwards without saying anything to him. Wayne had completed the final paperwork for the camp in his office at the Covert-Ops school and sent it all to him. There'd been no word since. He'd talked to Brad a couple of times, and even took leave to go hunting with him at his family's home on a reservation in Northern Wisconsin. He hadn't told Brad what happened between him and Will.
Wayne thumbed through the book, glancing at it's pages. He wondered where Corporal Burnett had been transferred after the camp. He remembered the day after the three-day hell was done. She had approached him in the beer- hall as he sat alone, the soft lilt of her voice breaking through his dark mood.
"Staff Sergeant?"
He'd looked up at her in surprise. She'd smiled then, looking relaxed and comfortable. He'd not been able to return the smile with one of his own. She'd cleared her throat nervously then.
"I uh...just wanted to thank you."
"For what?" He'd asked, thinking of her doing push-ups in the pouring rain and gritting her teeth in irritation as he'd screamed at her on the trail. She had hesitated and then met his eyes.
"You know what for. I might have given it all up when it counted most."
He had muttered something about how she wouldn't have done that and she should have more faith in herself, and then she'd layed a hand on his forearm. He'd stilled and shut up.
"Just...thanks."
He'd almost told her everything then. Almost spilled every feeling from his heart in a shameful display of weakness. But he swallowed and held it in...and then, she was gone. Where, he didn't know. She'd gotten on a plane to her new assignment or to her old unit, and a few days later, he'd returned to his old position at the Covert-Ops school.
The plane began making it's descent, and he shoved the book into his duffel bag. He looked out the window at the runway and the military base surrounding him. Looked like a typical base...even a little smaller than usual. Was this right?
When the plane landed, he stood and stretched and picked his duffel up off the floor. With no other passengers or flight crew, he'd been able to ignore regulations and keep it with him. He walked off the plane onto the tarmac and saw a blond Master Sergeant approaching him. Wayne dropped the duffel and stood straight with grim respect for the higher ranking man.
"Staff Sergeant Wayne Sneeden?" TheTop asked.
"Yes."
The Master Sergeant grinned and held out his hand. "Welcome to G.I. Joe."
TBC.............(one more chapter left, folks!)
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By Slayne
The next day was a strange one. It was subdued and quiet around the camp with a barely discernable sense of excitement. The final test was about to begin. It would last three days and test the endurance, both physically and mentally, of the recruits who remained. It would begin the next morning and not let up for 72 hours. Wayne and Brad took the recruits for a light run in the morning, and then the rest of the day was spent in explanation and preperation of the final war game.
Wayne had spent the night before in Will's makeshift office, explaining to him and a Colonel from the Covert-Ops school what had happened that night and how he had killed the would-be thief in the jungle. He didn't think much would come of it, but you could never be sure.
He yawned now as he watched the recruits pack their gear for the next morning. Everything they would need, or were allowed, for the next three days. His eyes wandered to the far corner, where Burnett was carefully stuffing the gear into her pack. He felt a rivulet of guilt wash through him as he remembered the way he had driven her a few days ago. It was followed by a strange mix of respect, affection and pride in the way she continued to comport herself and drive forward. Her green eyes met his a couple of times, and he didn't bother to look away. He let her feel him studying her. She thought he disliked her. What would she say if she knew the truth?
The packs were ordered left in here,locked in the recon room, until the next morning. Then the recruits were dismissed for the evening. They could use the free time to get some sleep and rest up for the next three days of hell, or they could use it to party prematurely and cause themselves undue hardship and risk an incomplete on the course. Their choice. Wayne was quite sure they'd all take the time to rest up. He nodded to Brad as the man left to walk the courses one last time in final preperation. Will glanced at him and then at Wayne.
"You've been quiet lately, Wayne. Why don't you come down for a beer tonight?"
Wayne grimaced and began to refuse. Will saw it and scowled.
"Just one. We'll be busy for the next three days and then it's over. I have to be back in the States on Saturday."
"I don't think so. I need to get some sleep. How bout mess though? I'm starving."
"No...I'm eating with the Colonel. He wants an overview of what's going on. I'll lock up here...go on."
Wayne stood and gave him a salute since he was covered and armed. Will returned it, dismissing him, and pulled a set of keys from his pocket. Wayne walked through the door and out into the yard. He got halfway to the mess building before stopping. He sighed to himself and hesitated. One beer wouldn't hurt. He glanced back towards the door and then grinned and turned towards it. He burst back through it and into the recon room, his mouth opening to to swear at Will and tell him he was buying...when he stopped in shock.
Will was bent over one of the packs on the floor. He looked surprised when Wayne burst back in and his eyes widened slightly as they met the Staff Sergeant's. Wayne stared back, the smile dropping from his face as he saw the open pack and the climbing rope in the Major's left hand, a small buck knife in his right. The rope was frayed just slightly in a few places, where the knife had been strategically applied. Wayne knew exactly who the pack belonged to. He had watched Burnett place it in the far corner himself.
"Wayne.." Will began, calmly, his voice already sounding placating.
"Will, what the hell are you doing?" The dead calmness of his voice contradicted the small ball of anger that began creeping through his mind. Will set the rope down and then folded the knife, sliding it back into his cargo pocket.
"Look, Wayne...you don't want her here anymore than I do. You don't want to be the one who has to serve with her, do you?"
Wayne said nothing, but every muscle in his body tensed as the realization hit home. Black fury enveloped him in a way it hadn't done since he was a kid.
"She was doing fine." He spat between clenched teeth.
"Exactly, Wayne...don't you see? She was going to make it and that's bullshit! We talk about it all the time! You joke about it right along with me." His voice was strong, but there was an underlying whine to it that Wayne had never noticed before.
"Joking's one thing, Will...but you're cutting her goddamn climbing rope!"
"She wouldn't get hurt..not bad anyway. I cut it enough so it'd break right away...I..."
"You pretentious bastard!" Wayne growled at him, and he saw a brief look of fear on the officer's face. "You self-serving, cowardly little fuck!"
Will's face registered anger now and he tried to regain control of the situation.
"Don't call me a fucking coward, Wayne! I fought right alongside you in Benning. I was in Grenada. Don't make me pull rank on you!"
Wayne nearly exploded in anger then. He suddenly rushed forward and grabbed the front of Will's shirt, slamming him back against the wall. The whole shack shook with the impact and Will inhaled sharply as he stared down into the furious brown eyes of the Ranger.
"Let me go, Sneeden! If I want to I could have your ass in the provost marshall's office and up on charges in an hour."
Wayne stared at him with barely contained anger and something akin to disappointment. "Then call them, Will. Let's see what they have to say when they hear my side of the story."
Will glared at him and tried to break free, but Wayne slammed the bigger man back against the wall and snarled at him.
"If you ever...EVER...try to sabotage one of my soldiers again, Major, I will sneak into your room when you're sleeping and put my fucking combat knife right through your throat and into your pillow. Understand?"
"You ever touch me again, Staff Sergeant, and your career is over."
"Do you understand?" Wayne shouted it three inches away from the Major's face.
"Yes." Will was seething but he swallowed hard and Wayne had no doubt that the man believed every word he had just said. He felt disgusted, hurt, furious and sick all at the same time and realized he was perilously close to beating the crap out of a superior officer. But...it was still Will. He suddenly released the Major and shoved him away from himself. Will whirled on him as soon as he found his balance.
"I thought you were my fucking friend, Wayne."
"And I thought you were mine."
"This whole damn Army is run on games and unwritten rules. You'd better learn how to play, or someone is going to throw you to the wolves someday. Don't fuck with me, Sneeden. Not ever again!" He turned and propelled himself through the door.
Wayne stood in the middle of the recon room and stared after him for a long time. He had thought Will and he were the same. That somehow, inspite of his efforts to keep people at a distance, he and Will would be friends for a long, long time. Somehow he had been wrong. Somehow he had missed something somewhere. Somehow, he always did.
Well, what the hell do you expect, he told himself sharply. It's your own damn fault. You know better than to set yourself up like that. The sick feeling in his belly had begun to fade, or else he had fought it off...but the anger was still simmering and he turned and slammed a fist violently into the wall, where Will had been pinned only moments before. Pain blossomed through his knuckles but it felt good. He hit it again and then stared at the splash of red that stayed behind. The trace of hot tears in his eyes made him angrier and embarassed and he smashed the side of his fist into the wall once more. The old wood and plaster cracked. His hand was numb now, his wrist ached. He got control of himself again.
He leaned forward on his uninjured hand and let the top of his head rest against the wall while he stared at the pack at his feet. He could take the pack and his testimony to the nearby training base and report Will to the ranking officer. He should do that. A good soldier would do that. But again...it was still Will. The one person he had felt connected to all this time.
He glanced at his knuckles. Blood was running down over his fingers and dripping onto the floor. He took a deep breath and wiped the hand on his pants, holding it there until the bleeding stopped. He bent down and picked up the damaged rope and took it outside. He threw it in one of the garbage cans and then went to the supply shed and picked out a new one. He took it back and stuffed it in Burnett's pack. Then...he went looking for Burnett.
He found her in the mess tent, sitting with a few of the remaining recruits. She had just finished her dinner and the book of Shakespeare's sonnets was laying in it's place beside her tray as she chatted with one of the young Lieutenants.
"Burnett!" He barked, louder than he meant to, but the rage still simmered within' him and he found himself reacting to it unexpectedly.
The whole tent looked up and Burnett seemed surprised when she looked up to see him. She stood immediately, and he heard the low comments from her companions.
"What did you do now to piss him off, Burnett?"
She didn't answer them and he ignored them as well, but one well-delivered glare silenced the higher-ranking men.
"Get your ass out here...now!" He turned and walked out of the tent and she grabbed her book from the table, shoving it in her pocket, and then followed him out.
"I'm sorry, Staff. Did I do some..."
"Shut up, Corporal. Follow me." He strided towards the recon room and she followed him silently. When they got there, he walked over and took her pack and threw it at her feet. She stared down at it in confusion and then back up at him.
"From now on, you keep your gear in your barracks with you at night. In the mornings you're going to get up and report a half hour earlier than anyone else. You will then re-check all your equipment and re-pack it yourself. I want you to do this twice, understand? Once when everyone else does it and once more right before we march out."
She stared at him in disbelief. "Staff, I assure you...I know how to pack gear correctly. I..."
"I don't give a fuck what you know! You'll do it. You can do it right now!"
She stared at him again and when his glare darkened, she set her mouth firmly and sank down to her knees, opening the pack. She began pulling her gear out of it and then stopped as she pulled the new rope from it. She stared at it with a look of confusion.
"You check your gear...all of it...before we march out...and then you don't let it out of your sight again. Got it?" His voice was still hard but it had softened. He watched as understanding flooded into her eyes. She stared at the rope and then swallowed hard. When she glanced up at him, he saw the barest hint of hurt in her eyes, of frustration with the fact that some things would never change. It made him want to hunt Will down and beat him into a bloody pulp.
"No one gets a free ride in my camp, Corporal. But everyone gets a fair shot."
She nodded and began slowly re-packing her gear. "Thank you, Staff. I'll report half an hour early and repeat this just like you ordered."
"Good." He started to walk past her and then hesitated. His hand hovered over her shoulder. He wanted to give her some sense of comfort, some reassurance. He wondered if she would even find any of that in his touch. He drew his hand back and walked out of the room.
He didn't sleep much that night. He wasn't sure what would go on between him and Will now, and he couldn't dispell that dull ache from his gut. He managed to sleep for a few solid hours just before dawn. The recruits were lined up and ready at first light after reveille. Wayne was somewhat relieved when Will acted professionally and curt with him. There was no warmth or friendship there..but no nastiness either. Two co-workers who had to deal with each other.
As his gaze flew down the line of recruits, he noticed an absence suddenly. Where the hell was Burnett? He glanced around the yard and did not see her. He moved to Brad's side.
"Brad...was Corporal Burnett at reveille?"
Brad thought. "I don't remember seeing her." He scanned the row of recruits. "She'd better show up soon."
Wayne watched as Brad walked towards Will and said something to him. The Major glanced along the row of recruits and then questioned them about Burnett's absence. None of them knew where she was. Wayne thought about it for a moment and then walked past the Major.
"I'll look for her. I think I know where she is."
"Hurry up, Staff Sergeant. She better be here in 15 minutes or I'll dock her time."
Their gazes met brutally and Wayne did not look away until Will did. Then he jogged off towards the women's barracks. Instead of going inside, he veered around the building and stopped at the back. There was Burnett, sitting calmly on the ground, staring into the jungle. Her pack sat at her side. He walked towards her, preparing to dress her down for being late. He hesitated when he reached her side. She didn't look up at him although he had done nothing to walk quietly. She was sitting, with knees drawn up to her chest, arms locked around her shins.
"You're late, Burnett. Get up and get your ass into gear."
She didn't move. Her voice was soft and ... unsure when she spoke. "Do I really belong here, Staff?"
"What?" He was taken aback by that and for a brief moment, didn't understand what she was saying.
"Tell me the truth. Do you think I belong here?"
He stared down at her for a long, silent moment. If she had asked him that at the beginning of this course, he would have told her absolutely not. Now?
"When did you start caring about what anyone else thought?"
"I don't know...sometimes I just think I don't belong here." She had an incredible look of indecision on her face as she glanced up at him finally. He hesitated in contemplation between shouting at her to stop feeling sorry for herself or to talk to her seriously. She didn't know who had sabotaged her climbing rope, but she knew something had happened to it. She had a right to some indecision, he decided.
"Are you saying that because you really believe that or are you saying that because you think you should believe that?"
Her brows drew together in thought, as if it was a new thought she hadn't seen before. She glanced at him as he lowered himself to his heels beside her.
"People can fool you into thinking that you SHOULD feel a certain way about life...when in reality, you don't. Most people would strive for a lifestyle similar to the one you enjoyed before the Army. They can't and won't understand someone who's already from that lifestyle wanting or accepting...well...less."
"Is that what you think I'm doing?" She asked quietly. "Accepting less?"
"No. From experience I know you're finding more than you thought you ever would."
Her gaze shifted to his in surprise. He met her eyes steadily.
"But, you don't want me here." She stated.
"I want what's best for the Army, Corporal. But I don't take anyone's word for it. I expect proof."
A hidden hurt came into her eyes. "Sometimes proof doesn't matter. It's not enough to change some people's opinions."
Wayne's jaw tensed and he fought the bitter anger growing within him at Will. He ran finger over the crimson scabs on his knuckles where he had punched the wall of the recon room. Her eyes followed the motion and she stared at the angry looking wound. He hesitated over his next words, but he was through playing nursemaid for today. She'd either get over it and get her rear off the ground or she could quit and go back to her unit...and disappoint him utterly in the process.
"To tell you the truth, I didn't think you'd make it this far." He stated. That hidden hurt on her face morphed into anger, and he felt a wave of satisfaction. He'd rather see that anger there driving her then self-pity.
"I know everyone just thinks I'm some rich bitch here trying to piss off daddy. And believe me...it has pissed him off royally! But I'm trying to find my own life here. My own path. I'm not just some typical rich girl who wants to shop all day and party all night. I want to have a purpose!"
He wanted to tell her he understood, and that he wasn't an insufferable prick all the time. He wanted to commisserate with her. But once said, it seemed you couldn't avoid travelling further down that path. the destination pulled you like a ten ton magnet pulled a nail. He wasn't going to tempt fate and start down that path. And he wasn't going to put her on that path either. It would be betraying her and failing her in the biggest way possible.
"Are you saying you're going to get up off your ass and finish this course?"
"I'm going to get through this, Staff. Despite what anyone else thinks. And despite you!"
She shot to her feet and grabbed her pack, slinging it onto her back and jogging off. He stood slowly and watched her. He had no doubt that she'd make it through this. With flying colors.
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ONE YEAR LATER-
Wayne glanced out the window of the small plane at the patchwork of fields and subdivisions below them. The steady drone of the plane's engines thrummed in his head and he shifted in his seat, running a hand over his nearly shorn scalp. His watch said they were nearing their destination. He'd soon be at his new base and entrenched in his new job.
As the sole passenger except for the two pilots, he'd had ample time to himself. He glanced down at the book laying in the empty seat beside him, then picked it up. It had become dog-eared and well worn in the year since he had bought it at the Covert-Ops school's commissary store. He hadn't really read it much, he found Shakespeare too...tedious and cloying for his tastes. But he kept the book and took it out occasionally. He kept hoping that something would click in his mind while he read it, and that suddenly the events of a year ago would make sense and come into sharp focus for him. They never did.
The final test had gone as planned. Corporal Burnett had taken her place among the recruits and all of the group had finished the course. She had actually done exceedingly well in the final. She had jumped into a leadership role and acted decisively and correctly. Somehow all that self- doubt had disappeared when the exercise had begun. He'd given her a solid evaluation that had been filtered through Will, so he didn't know how she had faired in the final test of brass. He was not told what happened to any of the soldiers who had completed the camp.
He and Will had basically ignored each other the final three days. Will had left very soon afterwards without saying anything to him. Wayne had completed the final paperwork for the camp in his office at the Covert-Ops school and sent it all to him. There'd been no word since. He'd talked to Brad a couple of times, and even took leave to go hunting with him at his family's home on a reservation in Northern Wisconsin. He hadn't told Brad what happened between him and Will.
Wayne thumbed through the book, glancing at it's pages. He wondered where Corporal Burnett had been transferred after the camp. He remembered the day after the three-day hell was done. She had approached him in the beer- hall as he sat alone, the soft lilt of her voice breaking through his dark mood.
"Staff Sergeant?"
He'd looked up at her in surprise. She'd smiled then, looking relaxed and comfortable. He'd not been able to return the smile with one of his own. She'd cleared her throat nervously then.
"I uh...just wanted to thank you."
"For what?" He'd asked, thinking of her doing push-ups in the pouring rain and gritting her teeth in irritation as he'd screamed at her on the trail. She had hesitated and then met his eyes.
"You know what for. I might have given it all up when it counted most."
He had muttered something about how she wouldn't have done that and she should have more faith in herself, and then she'd layed a hand on his forearm. He'd stilled and shut up.
"Just...thanks."
He'd almost told her everything then. Almost spilled every feeling from his heart in a shameful display of weakness. But he swallowed and held it in...and then, she was gone. Where, he didn't know. She'd gotten on a plane to her new assignment or to her old unit, and a few days later, he'd returned to his old position at the Covert-Ops school.
The plane began making it's descent, and he shoved the book into his duffel bag. He looked out the window at the runway and the military base surrounding him. Looked like a typical base...even a little smaller than usual. Was this right?
When the plane landed, he stood and stretched and picked his duffel up off the floor. With no other passengers or flight crew, he'd been able to ignore regulations and keep it with him. He walked off the plane onto the tarmac and saw a blond Master Sergeant approaching him. Wayne dropped the duffel and stood straight with grim respect for the higher ranking man.
"Staff Sergeant Wayne Sneeden?" TheTop asked.
"Yes."
The Master Sergeant grinned and held out his hand. "Welcome to G.I. Joe."
TBC.............(one more chapter left, folks!)
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