~*Thanks again for the reviews. How excited am I, it's snowing! Well, anyway, the song is by Owsley, and you can all just leave a review and tell me it's good or that you also love snow, or whatever. Just drop me a note at the bottom. And enjoy!~*
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters, or come to think of it, the snow either
"What do you want me to do?" Chandler asked. Monica turned to him and looked at him in surprise.
"What?"
"Richard's coming. If I'm here then...I can hide."
"He probably already saw your car," she pointed out. Chandler nodded. She was playing it off, but he could see in her eyes that she was worried. She didn't want him to catch her. She began to pace as they heard the car door close from outside and the snow crunch under Richard's feet. He knocked on the door.
"At least he knocked," Chandler pointed out. "He's realizing that he can't just walk in. That's a good thing. He's moving on."
"I don't know if I want him to move on." Chandler raised an eyebrow towards her.
"Really?"
"Well, Chandler. It's been a night. I would hope that my marriage meant more then just one night." She took a deep breath and pulled open the door. Richard came in brushing the snow off his boots.
"I'm sorry Mon. I know that you wanted to stay up here alone this weekend but I...." his voice trailed off when he caught sight of Chandler standing there. "Chandler."
"Hello Richard." They stood facing each other. It was as if they were sizing each other for battle. We are going to battle. We're going to both fight for her.
"I'm sorry for interrupting," Richard said never removing his gaze from Chandler.
"No, you weren't. I was just...I needed a friend." And with that admission from Monica, Chandler figured out what he had known all along. That's all he would ever be to Monica. In the end he wouldn't win her, if he and Richard fought, then Richard would win. Always. He should have known that. He should have caught on to that by now. That kiss in the kitchen just less then an hour previous had not changed anything. Him dropping everything to rush to her, that too had not made a dent in the armor that she had put up to shield herself from him.
"Monica, why don't I leave you two. There's things that you need to talk about," Chandler finally pulled his eyes away from Richard's to look into Monica's. No words were spoken, but so much was said. She shook her head barely, but both men caught it.
"Chandler...."
"No. I'll talk to you later." He grabbed his coat and gloves and keys and left the cabin. He didn't glance back at her and Richard. He couldn't glance back at her and Richard.
Morning comes and you're so lonely
And you feel like you're the only one alive
Since she left you blame yourself
For all the things she never felt
"Chandler. It's Monica. Please call me back. We need to talk. I don't know what I've done that you're ignoring me, but we need to talk." Chandler sighed and leaned his head back against the chair. Why was she calling him? Hadn't she gone running back to Richard's ever-waiting arms? There was a knock on the door. He roused himself from the chair and walked to it and pulled it open. She stood on the other side with a cell phone in her hand.
"So you're just not going to answer your phone anymore?"
"Guess not."
"Chandler..."
"Where's Richard?"
"What do you think happened that morning?"
"I think that you finally made your final decision between the two of us."
"What are you talking about?"
"You chose Richard. You always choose Richard."
"Chandler..." She tried to get a word in, but he was off and rolling.
"No. I've tried and tried to make you see, but you won't. You know why? You're afraid! You're afraid to love me. You lie to yourself that you don't want this, and then....God, Monica. But I'm done. I'm done. I was finished that night. Do what you want. Sleep with whomever you want. I'm getting off this train." She was insulted, she was offended, but she was hurt more then anything else.
"Sleep with whomever I want?" She asked spitting out the words as if they were poisonous in her mouth. She tried to wrap her brain around what he had just said. "Is that how you think of me?"
"Monica."
"No, is that what you think? That I would just go from one guy to the next after my marriage fails?" He had screwed up this time. Open mouth, insert foot. He had gone a step too far. No, he had leapt over three steps.
"Monica, I didn't...."
"I came to apologize. I came to make amends." She turned on her heel and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Rachel came to the door after she had heard the door slam and knocked.
"You okay?" She asked. Chandler hung his head.
"I'm....fine. Dandy." She gave him an incredulous look, but the look on his face told her not to push him.
"Okay," Rachel turned and went back to her apartment and left him alone. Might as well get used to this. This is how it will always be. He would always be alone.
how could you be untrue to yourself?
When nobody is watching?
Your life isn't over, the clock is still tocking
"Have you talked to her?" Phoebe asked Rachel.
"Monica? No."
"Neither have I. She's not answering her phone."
"Can't blame her," Rachel said sighing into her cup of coffee. The Monica-Chandler situation had reached a fever-pitch with neither one talking to any of their friends. It was harder for Chandler to ignore his friends, because he lived right across from them, but he was succeeding. If one of them tried to call Monica, all they get would be her machine.
"Did Richard move out?"
"According to Ross, yes."
"Oh. Does Chandler know?"
"I think so. I would assume so."
"Then why isn't he making his move?"
"He tried, he went up there the first night and then Richard showed up and so...." Rachel trailed off shrugging her shoulders. "Oh, here he comes." They stopped gossiping as the door to the coffee shop opened and Chandler came in.
"Chandler? Come join us," Phoebe suggested patting the empty seat next to her.
"No thanks."
"Are you sure?" It was Rachel's turn to try and persuade him to stay.
"Yes, I'm sure. I have a lot to do. I'm just going to get my coffee and go," he said walking to the counter. The two friends sighed again and heard the door open again. Monica stood poised in the doorway. Her cheek were rosy from the cold and her hair was tousled from the wind. Rachel and Phoebe shared a look. They wanted to turn around and shield their eyes, but it was like a car crash, one couldn't help but turn around and watch it unfold.
"Chandler?" Monica's voice interrupted him and he turned around slowly.
"Monica." She turned to leave. "Don't. I'm leaving, just order your coffee and you can stay." Gunther handed Chandler his coffee.
"Chandler?" Her voice was low and uneven, and stopped him as he brushed past her. "I think we need to talk again." He nodded.
"Fine. Tonight?"
"That's fine."
"Good," and with that, Chandler left the coffee shop.
One day you will wake up and you'll
be able to forget the sadness
get into the gladness
of love and it's way you will not fight it
while everyone dozes, you're coming up roses
Chandler knocked on her door and held his breath while he waited for her to open it.
"Hi," she said pulling it open. "Come in." He stepped inside the apartment that for so many nights he had dreamt was his and hers, not hers and Richard's. It didn't have the same cozy feel as apartment 20 had, instead it had a sophisticated feel to it. It didn't look like her. It looked like Richard.
"So," he said taking his coat off and handing it to her outstretched arms.
"So. I made chicken, do you want to eat first or....talk first?"
"Maybe we should eat first," he suggested. She nodded and led him to the dining room. He sat down and she brought out the meal. The ate in silence watching the other. After they were finished, Monica cleared her throat.
"Chandler, I just wanted to say that.....I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"You really don't have anything to be sorry for, you know that right?"
"What?" This wasn't what she had thought would be his reaction.
"I was a jerk Mon. I was a huge jerk." He felt like such an idiot. He had overreacted, and had taken things out of context and out of proportion, and here she was telling him that she was sorry. He looked back at her face and realized that she was crying.
"This was so stupid," she said. "I do love you. You were right. You were so right. I was afraid of everything that you said. I was afraid of getting hurt, and I was afraid of losing you. If it didn't work out."
"Why wouldn't it work out?" He asked not sure what to do. Should he hug her? Should he take her into his arms.
"Nothing ever works out," she sobbed. "I can't...I have to.....I have to leave." She grabbed a coat and a hat from the coat rack and ran out of the apartment leaving Chandler to wonder what had just happened.
Drowning in a sea of sorrow
She won't be here for tomorrow's lullaby
Round and round and round she goes
and where she stops nobody knows but God above
He found her on a park bench. She wasn't crying any longer, she was just sitting there passively.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to come to the park at night? Psychos don't even come to the park at night," he teased sitting next to her.
"I'm sorry about before," she said softly.
"Why?"
"I shouldn't have.... You were wrong, because you weren't the only one to be blamed. I was wrong too. I was....I wanted to have both of you Chandler. The night before my wedding, and.....that morning at the cabin. It made me...feel loved that you both wanted me. But I didn't love him anymore. I loved you. I think I've always loved you, and I never knew it." Her hand groped the bench in the dark and finally found his. "So I'm sorry too."
"Mon?" He found his voice finally, he was having troubling breathing and functioning.
"Yes?"
"It's snowing." She glanced up at the sky and noted, that yes it had indeed started to snow.
"It is." She rubbed her hands together and he stood up and offered her down his hand.
"Let's go back inside," he suggested and she let him take her hand and pulled her towards the apartment. She stopped halfway across.
"Chandler?"
"Yes?"
"What happens now?"
"I don't know."
"I mean, do you...." She struggled finding the right words.
"Yes?"
"Do you want to....."
"Monica? What are trying to ask?"
"I want to know if you want to give us a try?" Silence settled between them as he carefully chose his answer.
"I've wanted to give us a try forever," he told her.
"That's a yes?"
"That's most definitely a yes." In the dark with the snow swirling all around them, he leaned in and kissed her.
It's starting to rain and you're running
for cover like she ran to arms of another
One day you will wake up and you'll be able
to forget the sadness get into the gladness of love
and it's way you will not fight it
while everyone dozes, you're coming up roses
He laid in the bed with her in his arms. She was sleeping peacefully. The covers were mussed and tangled around them. She shivered from the winter air and he pulled them up and tucked them around her body. They had come a far way. He had gotten a second chance with her, and when he had screwed that one up, he had gotten a third chance. The clock blinked the time and he realized that he had been sitting up watching her for more then a half-hour. He settled down to get some sleep when he felt her stir.
"Chandler?"
"Yes?"
"What are you doing?"
"I was watching you sleep," he answered honestly.
"Oh. Okay."
"Monica?"
"Hmm?"
"What are we going to tell the gang?"
"I don't know. I didn't think we'd tell yet."
"Oh?"
"I just...it's nice just the two of us. As soon as we tell them, then we have to deal with them."
"That's a good point." He kissed her cheek.
"You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think that you might be the most gorgeous woman on the planet." "The planet huh?"
"Yes."
"Not the universe?"
"Well, there's this really hot chick on Jupiter." She giggled and picked up a pillow to smack him with.
"Oh really?"
"Really."
"Well, you can sit up and dream about Miss Jupiter all you want, I am going to go to sleep."
"Okay."
"Okay," she rolled over and closed her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her again.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear.
"I love you too," she mumbled and he grinned as he laid his head against the pillow to sleep. Everything's going to be good from now on. Everything's going to be perfect. He smiled again to himself as he felt her roll over into his arms. Everything was going to be perfect. From then on, everything was going to come up roses.
You will learn to try again
When you get your second wind
How long is the road paved with good intentions?
Forever waiting, divine intervention
of love and it's way and you will not fight it
while everyone dozes, you're coming up roses
*Please review. So I ate so much yesterday that I'm still stuffed twenty-four hours later! I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving, and if you're not American, I hope that everyone had a good Thursday! Please review!*