Tekken and Things
By TheOne
Jin: So what do you guys wanna do?
Jun: I'll bake you some cookies if you'd like, sweetums.
Jin: Alright. Make it simple.
Hwoarang: Yah. Put nuts, chocolate, and honey drizzled in parallel lines, too.
Jun: ………..
Ogre: man I really want some souls to suck.
Ogre stares at the Tekken Crew… they step back.
Ogre: Oh come on! Let me have AT LEAST ONE OF YOU!!!!
Hwoarang: Too young.
Jin: I have too nice of hair.
Heihachi: me too.
Kazuya: MOI TOI!!!
Nina: And I'm an expert at shopping.
Lee: I have gray hair.
Paul: I love Hwoarang!
Hwoarang: Ewww!
Bryan: And I have things to do in this world.
Ogre: Well that's the lamest excuse so far so….
Bryan starts to lift up into the air, and a ghostly figure of him drifts to Ogre.
Jin: Whoa….
Ogre: Keep the excuses coming.
Lei: I'm a cop that stops crime.
Bruce: I'm just stupid.
Ogre: That counts!
Bruce: Whew.
Ling: I need to live so I can.. You know… that…I know! I live to serve the almighty ruler
of our world, Ogre. Ta Daaa!!!
Ogre: No sucking up ling, your soul is mine.
Ling's body floats into the air as a ghostly figure of a BOY?!?!?!?! Comes out of her
body.
Hwoarang: Why is Ling's soul look like a man?
Ling: Cuz I'm gay dudez. Didn't wanna spoil my life by telling you guys. See ya guys in
Ogre!!!!
Jin: Bye!!! And I love you Ling!!! It was my secret….
Ling: How lovely!!
Those were the last words of Ling before HE was sucked into Ogre.
Julia: But Jin! You said you loved me!!
Michelle: He did? But, but he said he loved me too!!
Nina: And me!!!! Jin whats going on?
Anna: Yah Jin whats going on? You said you loved me too.
Jin: I did not Anna. Your too ugly.
Anna: So it's the looks isn't it? That's what you care about. I see what type of person you
are.
Jin: Ummm well… Anna don't feel bad.. You just weren't my…. Never mind.
Anna: Sniff Sniff Sniff!!
She runs out of the room crying.
Jin: Why'd I have to say I loved Ling.
Jun comes back with cookies.
Jun: But JIN!! You said you loved ME!!!!
Everybody: Huh???!?!??!?!??!
Jin: Mom, I meant in the mom and son way, duh.
Jun: But I thought we had something special son.
Jin: Umm.. Mom? Are you high or something??
Jun: I'll just go.. You kno… just leave…
Hwoarang: Your family is messed up man.
Jin: Is not!!
Hwoarang: Is so!!!
Jin: Is not!!!
Heihachi: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's just eat those cookies.
Julia: But there all gone.
The Crew follows a trail of crumbs..
Jin: Ganryu! How could you???
Ganryu: Well you guys were busy talking and stuff.
Jin: But it was my mom's cookies nimsquad!!
Hwoarang: NIMSQUAD???? Man you need to find some better insults than that, A-hole!!
Jin: Hey!! That's mean Hwoarang!! You hurt my feelings!
Hwoarang: Ummm that was the point.
Jin: Oh…. Hey Ganryu's gone!!!
Julia: Hooray!!!!
Michelle: Alright!! The curse of the chubby chunky guy has left our tribe for once!!
Anna: Actually, he just left for awhile.
Julia: Oh… darn it.
Suddenly Dr. B comes in.
Nina: What do you want?
Dr.B: Well I just thought one of you would try my new invention.
Jin: What is it?
Dr.B: It raises your abilities in fighting.
Hwoarang: I'm in.
Nina: I go first.
Anna: No me cuz I'm so beautiful!
Nina: That would be me. The uglies go last. Which means you Anna.
Anna: I had it!
A cat fight breaks out.
Lei: I bet a hundred dollars that Nina will win.
Lee: I think Anna.
Hwoarang: I think Richard Simmons will win.
Jin: Richard Simmons?
Hwoarang: Yah. That guy right there.
Jin: That's Anna…
Hwoarang: Oh whoops.
Ten minutes later…
Jin: Man, there still at it.
Lei: Normally, tekken fights would take about 10 seconds. But this? I don't know.
Lee: Hey Hwoarang Your right! Anna does look like Richard Simmons.
Paul: man that's funny.
One hour later…
Jin: I'm getting bored watching…
Hwoarang: Yah, there not even fighting. It's actually a fashion fight.
Julia: There pulling each other's hair and stuff.
Kazuya: They're so babyish.
Heihachi: You mean immature.
Kazuya: Don't correct me again gramps.
Heihachi: Alright.
Finally one of the sisters talks..
Nina: Well let's see what happens when I pull down your underwear Anna!!
Anna: You wouldn't dare!!
Nina: Oh yes I would.
Whoooosh….
Julia: Nina pulled it off…
Hwoarang: MAN!! THAT"S A LOT OF BUTT HAIR!!!!
Jun covers Jin's eyes..
Jun: Your too young to see this young man.
Jin: ………..
Lee: let's leave them alone for awhile.
They all leave, five minutes later….Nina and Anna come back out.
Hwoarang: HAD FUN?? HEY ANNA, I bought you something. IT's an early birthday
present.
Anna: Oh thanx Hwoarang.. Your too kind.
Anna's face droops down and boils as she realizes what she got.
Hwoarang: It's the ButtShaver 3000. It really helps for your type of people.
Anna: Why you!!!!
Jin: Hey That's mine Nimsquad!!!!!!! I bought it at the mall.
Hwoarang: So you have a hairy butt too? Maybe kazuya and heihachi have some too.
Kazuya blushes.
Kazuya: Oh shut up blood talon!!!
Heihachi: Well sorry for having a hairy butt!!! Geez!! I can't help it if all my hair turn
spikey!! It's natural!! Give me a break dude.
The Mishima family is disgraced and so is Anna… Tune in next time.