Chapter Nine
In which everyone does some reminiscing
"That was close." said Harry, shaking his head as the quartet walked down the street together following the inquiry.
"You don't have to tell me that. I thought they were going to apparate out of there with me, chair and all. For a moment I imagined sitting ... still in that chair ... in a cell in Azkaban for all eternity." said Severus.
Hermione put a still trembling hand on his back. She wanted to hold him, to reassure him and to reassure herself that he was still there with her. She would be forever indebted to Ron and Harry for rising to the occasion and saving Snape. She was almost positive that Ron was having some second thoughts. Severus, on the other hand, was understandably shook up. He skin had turned a sickly, almost ashen hue.
"We're still going to brunch, right?" asked Ron.
"My God, Ron, how can you eat at a time like this?" asked Hermione.
"Well, Harry and I haven't eaten since yesterday and I bet you haven't either. And now that I think about it, the professor, excuse me, the former professor, looks in need of feeding too." answered Ron.
"I swear! You're becoming more and more like your mother with every passing year." said Hermione.
The four of them found their way to a restaurant just as it began to rain. If anyone had told Hermione in her younger days that she would one day be having brunch in a London restaurant with Harry, Ron, and Severus Snape, she would have found it hard to believe at best. But as she glanced around the table at the three unhappy looking men, she had to accept it as fact.
The boys were both having a cup of hot tea to drink, Hermione had managed to get a cup of hot chocolate for her nerves, and Snape, ignoring the time of day, had a glass of wine, which he kept swishing pensively while they waited on their food.
"I think I'm going to take some time off from the team. We won't have another game for six weeks ... I can search for Professor Dumbledore for a week and no one would even notice." offered Harry.
"I sent an owl. If it can't find him ..." said Hermione, shaking her head.
"I never hurts to look. I mean, my owls never came back with messages, but they never had the letter either. That tells me that the headmaster is still out there somewhere. Maybe he just wants one of us to come and find him or something." said Harry.
"Albus was always a bit of a mystery." said Severus. The three former students looked at him expectantly. "He always knew things about the students, about pranks and other things, that no one could have known. It was uncanny. And he always took a liking to the strangest students. It was like he knew which ones of us were teetering on the edge and which ones of us had nothing good in our lives. He knew who needed a little more guidance and tried to give it to us, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not. The headmaster had a special, unique insight into people and situations that I still cannot fully explain. He could look at the world as a chess board, and yet with compassion and kindly wisdom at the same time. He could see it all. That's why they're having such a hard time replacing him." he told them.
"That and all deaths ... There simply aren't that many qualified wizards of his stature anymore." said Harry in agreement.
Hermione chuckled miserably. Harry was so right! McGonagall and Hooch were dead. Lupin was a werewolf, and no one would let him forget it. Trelawney was a flake. Binns was a ghost and close to retirement. Sprout didn't seem interested or capable. Flitwick was just barely holding the school together. Many other professors were just starting their careers, like Ginny and Neville. And then there was Severus with his marked arm and the recent business.
"Too right." said Severus with a cough.
When their meal arrived they ate in silence. The weight of the coming weeks was already heavy upon them.
"I'm still going." said Harry as they finished up.
"Fine." said Hermione. "I appreciate it." she added.
"I know." he laughed.
Hermione glanced at Severus and said, "I had better get back to my office. It seems as though I may have some work to do."
Her office was not far from the court, and Severus followed Hermione back to it without a word. It was like an unspoken invitation, because had he not followed, she would have asked him to do so. After the uncomfortable days apart and the drama in the courtroom, she wanted someone to stay with her, to anchor her, to fill her with strength of purpose. And who better?
She sat down behind her desk and began emptying her satchel of everything, a large quantity of unnecessary scrolls and scraps of paper. Severus sank into the chair directly in front of her and watched as she sifted through the contents of her bag. He rubbed his arms absently.
"It hurt, didn't it?" she questioned, not looking up.
"I was caught by surprise. I didn't think they would resort to something so childish. It was plain to see that I was at their mercy without tightening the wench to make me squirm."
"It was your hands."
"How so?"
"Your fists. They thought you were daring them, defying them. Still, it didn't give them license." she said, shaking her head. He watched a few curls fly loose and smiled.
"Your voice ... comforted me again, when you shouted at Blood."
"Funny, I thought I sounded a bit shrill. The situation gave me something of a turn."
"And Potter ... Harry ... He has grown into someone very different that I believed he would. Strong, confident, and ... just. Or is it merciful? Not arrogant or selfish, as I once believed him to be. I never truly thought he would rally to my defense."
"He speaks his mind."
"I am exceedingly grateful. Please, tell him that for me when next you see him."
"You can tell him yourself, Severus." she said, looking up sharply.
"If you say so ..."
A knock at the door interrupted before Hermione could defend her skill as an attorney, among other things. Her hand wandered toward her wand.
"Don't be paranoid, Hermione. If they were coming for my head, they would hardly knock." said Severus. "Besides, it sounds like Lupin." he added.
"Come in." she called.
The door opened to reveal Remus Lupin, dressed in formal robes that looked a bit worn and untidy. He could afford better certainly, but it was simply his way. Hermione guessed that he had been in the courtroom, watching the inquiry and possibly waiting for Sirius.
"That's damn uncanny." Hermione thought, glancing at Severus. How had he known?
"Hermione." he said, greeting her with a soft, hesitant smile. His eyes wandered to Snape in the chair. "Severus, I thought I might find you here."
"Lupin, come to gloat? Your friend did a nice job painting me as a maniac this morning." said Severus sourly.
"Not at all. After what Harry said ... I have decided to lend you both my support. If Harry believes you're worthy of living, then I suppose I can say so too." said Remus, rarely put off by Severus's demeanor.
"That is so kind of you." said Severus.
"Don't thank me, Severus. I'm not doing this for you, after all. I'm doing it because of Harry, Hermione, and the things I know." said Remus.
"Then I'll thank you." said Hermione. "You must know that we need every bit of support that comes our way."
"Not that the word of a werewolf is worth that much." he shrugged. "But you've got it." Turning to Severus he added, "But I still wish I knew if you had a hand in James and Lily's deaths."
Severus rose swiftly to his feet and faced the werewolf, telling him, "I will have you know that I was definitely on our side by then. I was with Dumbledore that very night. When Hagrid brought young Harry in ..." Severus paused mid sentence and shook his head. "What's the use? You'll never believe me."
"No, go on. I'm intrigued. When Hagrid brought young Harry in ..." said Remus, crossing his arms and staring Snape down.
Hermione merely listened, fascinated as well.
"It was just for a little while ... while the decisions were being made about the boy's future. Albus had me hold the squirming boy while he went to talk to some Ministry officials about Potter's muggle relatives and so forth. Wouldn't stop crying. Not even after I put some salve on that scar that Voldemort had given him. I sat in Dumbledore's office for an hour or so with the screaming infant until Hagrid came and took him away on that flying contraption again."
"Someday I hope to question Albus Dumbledore about that. It's one of the tallest tales I have ever heard, unless it is by some chance true." said Remus.
"I would dearly love for you to have that opportunity." said Severus, glancing at Hermione. "But not a word of it to Harry." he told them both, although primarily her.
"So pax then, for now at least?" questioned Lupin, holding out his hand.
"Pax? Were we at war then?" asked Snape with a bit of a sneer.
"Whatever, Severus."
Severus hesitated before shaking hands with the werewolf.
"Thanks." he managed.
Remus just nodded and looked at the amount of paperwork on Hermione's desk and said, "I should leave you to it then. Send me an owl if you need me."
"We will." said Hermione as he turned to go. When the door had closed behind him, Hermione asked, "So you held Harry as a baby?" The amusement was apparent in her eyes.
"Someone had to. Minerva was still at the scene of the crime ... She had known Lily and James very well being their head of house and all. Madam Pomfrey was attending to some injured Aurors, if I remember correctly. Albus was discussing Voldemort's disappearance with Ministry officials, among other things. Professor Krohn, my predecessor, not to mention the other available heads of houses, were keeping the students quiet and calm. The supposed defeat of Voldemort was a big deal when it happened. Hagrid was running errands for a bit or perhaps finding petrol or some other nonsense for the motorbike ... Who else would have taken care of him? A prefect? The Head Girl? Who then?" asked Severus, sinking into his seat again as he spoke. "For a couple of hours the child was lost in the shuffle. I had no special love of the boy, of Harry, but someone had to be responsible during those few hours and it was unfortunately me."
"I just never realized ..."
"Of course not. I never told anyone, and Albus respected that, even if he did kid me from time to time." said Severus, smiling at last.
"I wish there was some way we could use that in your defense." Hermione teased him.
"The consummate professional!" he laughed, though his eyes remained troubled.
"Right. Now back to work ..."
Hermione and Severus left the offices at the end of the day together. Everything was beginning to come together at last. Her hopes were rising again, although she made every effort not to think about the future and only about the work. She yawned quietly as they walked side by side toward the area of wizarding London where they both lived.
"Do you still make potions now that you aren't at Hogwarts anymore?" Hermione asked him.
"Of course, but not as much as I like." he answered.
"My dreamless sleep potion leaves me just a bit groggy in the morning. Could I trouble you to brew one or give me some pointers perhaps?" she asked.
"Having nightmares are we?" he questioned.
Hermione just shrugged, "A few, I suppose."
"It's hardly a secret. No one asks for such potions to drive away erotic dreams or those of one's childhood home and happy summer days. Do you mind sharing?"
"It isn't a comfortable subject."
"I would imagine not, but still ..."
"Fine. I've been dreaming about your trial." she admitted.
Severus glanced into a nearby darkened alleyway and pulled her into it. Hermione permitted it.
"How bad have the dreams been?" he asked Hermione as she leaned against the wall behind her and looked up him. He was still several inches taller than she was, and his concerned face was framed by the light of a street lamp.
"The courtroom and ... Sirius Black, that awful chair ... a dementor ... kissing you ... you, dead." she said, unable to articulate what she had seen.
"Not unlike my own dreams." he chuckled, touching her hair. "If I'm brewing one potion, I might as well brew another."
"I would appreciate it." she said.
"Well, come along then. I will need most of the evening." he said, moving away from her.
"Right." she nodded, following him out of the alley.
They parted company at the front stoop of her apartment building, deciding that it was best if she continued her work and he went about his business alone. As she desperately tried to work on her argument, not to mention a list of potential witnesses, her mind kept flashing back to the alley and Severus's hand touching her hair tenderly, almost reverently. She shivered. She could not understand the intensity of what she felt for him. Could sharing memories, bad memories at that, really bring two people closer together?
"Maybe." she conceded, returning her mind to more important things.
It was late into the night when Hermione finally had to admit that the eye strain was getting to her and prepared for bed. Somehow, Severus and the potion he was brewing for her slipped her mind. Until she had put on a night gown and there was an oh-so-familiar knock at her door. Throwing on a bathrobe, she dashed to answer it.
As Severus looked at her robe and wild hair, a smile graced his lips for a moment. He held up a small bottle of purple liquid, the potion that would quiet her nightmares. She noted that it was a few shades lighter in color than the potion she had made. It was an art, she was forced to admit, as she gratefully accepted the bottle.
"You brought it yourself?"
"I couldn't trust something so delicate to an owl." he explained.
"Do you want to come inside?"
"No ... you need your rest ... and it would be unwise."
"Perhaps." she agreed.
"I should be on my way." he said hesitantly.
"Until tomorrow then."
"Yes." Severus nodded.
Then he leaned down and softly kissed her forehead. Hermione closed her eyes for a moment as tears clouded them. When she opened them again, he was gone, his footsteps echoing down the hall outside as he departed. Part of her longed to call after to him, to bid him to come back, but she bit her lower lip and closed the door instead, thankful for the potion and the kiss.
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A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, linnetjo, EireVerde, animegirl-mika, Christine, DrusillaDrake, dinky, cloudshape, and Jenni. You are all so incredibly nice!
I chose the name 'Blood' for the Ministry official in the previous chapter because I saw the name at work (bill processing) and thought it was cool, and sort of Harry Potter-ish.
And for the record, I'm not a fan of Sirius Black.
In which everyone does some reminiscing
"That was close." said Harry, shaking his head as the quartet walked down the street together following the inquiry.
"You don't have to tell me that. I thought they were going to apparate out of there with me, chair and all. For a moment I imagined sitting ... still in that chair ... in a cell in Azkaban for all eternity." said Severus.
Hermione put a still trembling hand on his back. She wanted to hold him, to reassure him and to reassure herself that he was still there with her. She would be forever indebted to Ron and Harry for rising to the occasion and saving Snape. She was almost positive that Ron was having some second thoughts. Severus, on the other hand, was understandably shook up. He skin had turned a sickly, almost ashen hue.
"We're still going to brunch, right?" asked Ron.
"My God, Ron, how can you eat at a time like this?" asked Hermione.
"Well, Harry and I haven't eaten since yesterday and I bet you haven't either. And now that I think about it, the professor, excuse me, the former professor, looks in need of feeding too." answered Ron.
"I swear! You're becoming more and more like your mother with every passing year." said Hermione.
The four of them found their way to a restaurant just as it began to rain. If anyone had told Hermione in her younger days that she would one day be having brunch in a London restaurant with Harry, Ron, and Severus Snape, she would have found it hard to believe at best. But as she glanced around the table at the three unhappy looking men, she had to accept it as fact.
The boys were both having a cup of hot tea to drink, Hermione had managed to get a cup of hot chocolate for her nerves, and Snape, ignoring the time of day, had a glass of wine, which he kept swishing pensively while they waited on their food.
"I think I'm going to take some time off from the team. We won't have another game for six weeks ... I can search for Professor Dumbledore for a week and no one would even notice." offered Harry.
"I sent an owl. If it can't find him ..." said Hermione, shaking her head.
"I never hurts to look. I mean, my owls never came back with messages, but they never had the letter either. That tells me that the headmaster is still out there somewhere. Maybe he just wants one of us to come and find him or something." said Harry.
"Albus was always a bit of a mystery." said Severus. The three former students looked at him expectantly. "He always knew things about the students, about pranks and other things, that no one could have known. It was uncanny. And he always took a liking to the strangest students. It was like he knew which ones of us were teetering on the edge and which ones of us had nothing good in our lives. He knew who needed a little more guidance and tried to give it to us, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not. The headmaster had a special, unique insight into people and situations that I still cannot fully explain. He could look at the world as a chess board, and yet with compassion and kindly wisdom at the same time. He could see it all. That's why they're having such a hard time replacing him." he told them.
"That and all deaths ... There simply aren't that many qualified wizards of his stature anymore." said Harry in agreement.
Hermione chuckled miserably. Harry was so right! McGonagall and Hooch were dead. Lupin was a werewolf, and no one would let him forget it. Trelawney was a flake. Binns was a ghost and close to retirement. Sprout didn't seem interested or capable. Flitwick was just barely holding the school together. Many other professors were just starting their careers, like Ginny and Neville. And then there was Severus with his marked arm and the recent business.
"Too right." said Severus with a cough.
When their meal arrived they ate in silence. The weight of the coming weeks was already heavy upon them.
"I'm still going." said Harry as they finished up.
"Fine." said Hermione. "I appreciate it." she added.
"I know." he laughed.
Hermione glanced at Severus and said, "I had better get back to my office. It seems as though I may have some work to do."
Her office was not far from the court, and Severus followed Hermione back to it without a word. It was like an unspoken invitation, because had he not followed, she would have asked him to do so. After the uncomfortable days apart and the drama in the courtroom, she wanted someone to stay with her, to anchor her, to fill her with strength of purpose. And who better?
She sat down behind her desk and began emptying her satchel of everything, a large quantity of unnecessary scrolls and scraps of paper. Severus sank into the chair directly in front of her and watched as she sifted through the contents of her bag. He rubbed his arms absently.
"It hurt, didn't it?" she questioned, not looking up.
"I was caught by surprise. I didn't think they would resort to something so childish. It was plain to see that I was at their mercy without tightening the wench to make me squirm."
"It was your hands."
"How so?"
"Your fists. They thought you were daring them, defying them. Still, it didn't give them license." she said, shaking her head. He watched a few curls fly loose and smiled.
"Your voice ... comforted me again, when you shouted at Blood."
"Funny, I thought I sounded a bit shrill. The situation gave me something of a turn."
"And Potter ... Harry ... He has grown into someone very different that I believed he would. Strong, confident, and ... just. Or is it merciful? Not arrogant or selfish, as I once believed him to be. I never truly thought he would rally to my defense."
"He speaks his mind."
"I am exceedingly grateful. Please, tell him that for me when next you see him."
"You can tell him yourself, Severus." she said, looking up sharply.
"If you say so ..."
A knock at the door interrupted before Hermione could defend her skill as an attorney, among other things. Her hand wandered toward her wand.
"Don't be paranoid, Hermione. If they were coming for my head, they would hardly knock." said Severus. "Besides, it sounds like Lupin." he added.
"Come in." she called.
The door opened to reveal Remus Lupin, dressed in formal robes that looked a bit worn and untidy. He could afford better certainly, but it was simply his way. Hermione guessed that he had been in the courtroom, watching the inquiry and possibly waiting for Sirius.
"That's damn uncanny." Hermione thought, glancing at Severus. How had he known?
"Hermione." he said, greeting her with a soft, hesitant smile. His eyes wandered to Snape in the chair. "Severus, I thought I might find you here."
"Lupin, come to gloat? Your friend did a nice job painting me as a maniac this morning." said Severus sourly.
"Not at all. After what Harry said ... I have decided to lend you both my support. If Harry believes you're worthy of living, then I suppose I can say so too." said Remus, rarely put off by Severus's demeanor.
"That is so kind of you." said Severus.
"Don't thank me, Severus. I'm not doing this for you, after all. I'm doing it because of Harry, Hermione, and the things I know." said Remus.
"Then I'll thank you." said Hermione. "You must know that we need every bit of support that comes our way."
"Not that the word of a werewolf is worth that much." he shrugged. "But you've got it." Turning to Severus he added, "But I still wish I knew if you had a hand in James and Lily's deaths."
Severus rose swiftly to his feet and faced the werewolf, telling him, "I will have you know that I was definitely on our side by then. I was with Dumbledore that very night. When Hagrid brought young Harry in ..." Severus paused mid sentence and shook his head. "What's the use? You'll never believe me."
"No, go on. I'm intrigued. When Hagrid brought young Harry in ..." said Remus, crossing his arms and staring Snape down.
Hermione merely listened, fascinated as well.
"It was just for a little while ... while the decisions were being made about the boy's future. Albus had me hold the squirming boy while he went to talk to some Ministry officials about Potter's muggle relatives and so forth. Wouldn't stop crying. Not even after I put some salve on that scar that Voldemort had given him. I sat in Dumbledore's office for an hour or so with the screaming infant until Hagrid came and took him away on that flying contraption again."
"Someday I hope to question Albus Dumbledore about that. It's one of the tallest tales I have ever heard, unless it is by some chance true." said Remus.
"I would dearly love for you to have that opportunity." said Severus, glancing at Hermione. "But not a word of it to Harry." he told them both, although primarily her.
"So pax then, for now at least?" questioned Lupin, holding out his hand.
"Pax? Were we at war then?" asked Snape with a bit of a sneer.
"Whatever, Severus."
Severus hesitated before shaking hands with the werewolf.
"Thanks." he managed.
Remus just nodded and looked at the amount of paperwork on Hermione's desk and said, "I should leave you to it then. Send me an owl if you need me."
"We will." said Hermione as he turned to go. When the door had closed behind him, Hermione asked, "So you held Harry as a baby?" The amusement was apparent in her eyes.
"Someone had to. Minerva was still at the scene of the crime ... She had known Lily and James very well being their head of house and all. Madam Pomfrey was attending to some injured Aurors, if I remember correctly. Albus was discussing Voldemort's disappearance with Ministry officials, among other things. Professor Krohn, my predecessor, not to mention the other available heads of houses, were keeping the students quiet and calm. The supposed defeat of Voldemort was a big deal when it happened. Hagrid was running errands for a bit or perhaps finding petrol or some other nonsense for the motorbike ... Who else would have taken care of him? A prefect? The Head Girl? Who then?" asked Severus, sinking into his seat again as he spoke. "For a couple of hours the child was lost in the shuffle. I had no special love of the boy, of Harry, but someone had to be responsible during those few hours and it was unfortunately me."
"I just never realized ..."
"Of course not. I never told anyone, and Albus respected that, even if he did kid me from time to time." said Severus, smiling at last.
"I wish there was some way we could use that in your defense." Hermione teased him.
"The consummate professional!" he laughed, though his eyes remained troubled.
"Right. Now back to work ..."
Hermione and Severus left the offices at the end of the day together. Everything was beginning to come together at last. Her hopes were rising again, although she made every effort not to think about the future and only about the work. She yawned quietly as they walked side by side toward the area of wizarding London where they both lived.
"Do you still make potions now that you aren't at Hogwarts anymore?" Hermione asked him.
"Of course, but not as much as I like." he answered.
"My dreamless sleep potion leaves me just a bit groggy in the morning. Could I trouble you to brew one or give me some pointers perhaps?" she asked.
"Having nightmares are we?" he questioned.
Hermione just shrugged, "A few, I suppose."
"It's hardly a secret. No one asks for such potions to drive away erotic dreams or those of one's childhood home and happy summer days. Do you mind sharing?"
"It isn't a comfortable subject."
"I would imagine not, but still ..."
"Fine. I've been dreaming about your trial." she admitted.
Severus glanced into a nearby darkened alleyway and pulled her into it. Hermione permitted it.
"How bad have the dreams been?" he asked Hermione as she leaned against the wall behind her and looked up him. He was still several inches taller than she was, and his concerned face was framed by the light of a street lamp.
"The courtroom and ... Sirius Black, that awful chair ... a dementor ... kissing you ... you, dead." she said, unable to articulate what she had seen.
"Not unlike my own dreams." he chuckled, touching her hair. "If I'm brewing one potion, I might as well brew another."
"I would appreciate it." she said.
"Well, come along then. I will need most of the evening." he said, moving away from her.
"Right." she nodded, following him out of the alley.
They parted company at the front stoop of her apartment building, deciding that it was best if she continued her work and he went about his business alone. As she desperately tried to work on her argument, not to mention a list of potential witnesses, her mind kept flashing back to the alley and Severus's hand touching her hair tenderly, almost reverently. She shivered. She could not understand the intensity of what she felt for him. Could sharing memories, bad memories at that, really bring two people closer together?
"Maybe." she conceded, returning her mind to more important things.
It was late into the night when Hermione finally had to admit that the eye strain was getting to her and prepared for bed. Somehow, Severus and the potion he was brewing for her slipped her mind. Until she had put on a night gown and there was an oh-so-familiar knock at her door. Throwing on a bathrobe, she dashed to answer it.
As Severus looked at her robe and wild hair, a smile graced his lips for a moment. He held up a small bottle of purple liquid, the potion that would quiet her nightmares. She noted that it was a few shades lighter in color than the potion she had made. It was an art, she was forced to admit, as she gratefully accepted the bottle.
"You brought it yourself?"
"I couldn't trust something so delicate to an owl." he explained.
"Do you want to come inside?"
"No ... you need your rest ... and it would be unwise."
"Perhaps." she agreed.
"I should be on my way." he said hesitantly.
"Until tomorrow then."
"Yes." Severus nodded.
Then he leaned down and softly kissed her forehead. Hermione closed her eyes for a moment as tears clouded them. When she opened them again, he was gone, his footsteps echoing down the hall outside as he departed. Part of her longed to call after to him, to bid him to come back, but she bit her lower lip and closed the door instead, thankful for the potion and the kiss.
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A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, linnetjo, EireVerde, animegirl-mika, Christine, DrusillaDrake, dinky, cloudshape, and Jenni. You are all so incredibly nice!
I chose the name 'Blood' for the Ministry official in the previous chapter because I saw the name at work (bill processing) and thought it was cool, and sort of Harry Potter-ish.
And for the record, I'm not a fan of Sirius Black.