Disclamier- I DO NOT own Zoids, Bit Cloud, Brad, Leena, Jamie, etc etc etc
Me: Hi, I'm back. My last chapter wasn't very worded well so I revised it and now it sounds a little better. I'm having some trouble with Brad's profile. I'm not too sure of his attitude and his background or his last name, so while I do some research on him, pls email me or send a review and tell me what you know about him. As well as Naomi too. Thank you very much, I appreciate your help.
Thank you all reviewers!!! I appreciate your support very much!
Confusion of the Heart
It's morning again.
Another day has past.
Another day without you.
I don't see how I even lasted this long.
Each day hour I grow weaker. Whether it's physical or mental, or hell, even both, I feel so vulnerable.
So helpless.
And it's all because of you. An arrogant blond teenager.
A cocky warrior.
But God I miss you so much.
So much it hurts.
And it tears me up inside knowing that I was so cruel to you.
When you were still here, I treated you like shit.
I always jumped to conclusions.
I never gave you a break.
I didn't bother listening to you.
But still, you didn't hate me. You forgave me. It was a daily routine I guess.
No one really got on my nerves as badly as you.
It pissed me off at the time. You stealing my snacks, raiding the fridge, always getting more points then me during battles and walking in on me in the shower.
Especially you walking in on me in the shower.
And your arrogant attitude and carefree laugh.
It made me furious before.
I must've broken a hundred things by throwing them at you.
And as much as I hate to admit it, it was kinda fun to chase you around.
I secretly enjoyed having our little fights.
I could get my mind off my problems and just focus on finding ways to make you pay.
And then I started to fall for you.
I didn't understand at all. Why I would for someone like you.
Why all of a sudden, you were in my thoughts.
In my dreams.
And in my heart.
I was so afraid. I didn't know what to do. I never felt this way towards anyone before. I wasn't sure how to act around you anymore.
First I tried to just forget the whole thing. It would go away soon enough, I kept saying that to myself. I acted as if nothing had happened. I kept wasting ammo. I continued our fights and my short temper. No one knew. It was a perfect disguise.
It worked well enough.
For a while anyway.
But no matter how hard I tried, this feeling kept coming back.
Everyday, I couldn't push it away. I couldn't concentrate on anything.
I told myself it was just a simple crush. A physical attraction.
But I knew I was lying to myself.
Still, I kept denying it. Eventually, I began to withdraw from everyone. Mainly you. I began to talk less. I gave up chasing you for my snacks. Even when you dangled a half-bitten cookie in front of my face, I didn't do anything to you. I couldn't focus on the battles. I must've cost the team a ton of money with all the repairs. I know everyone was angry at me. They couldn't understand why I was acting this way.
But you Bit.you knew something was wrong.
*Flash Back*
"Leena!!! Why the hell did you just sit there and get yourself shot???!!!" You shout at me. "You could've dodged that easily!!"
Normally, I would snap right back.
But I can't risk speaking to you.
I can't say what's bothering me.
So I just stared at you for a moment and looked down at the ground like a guilty child.
"Leena, what is wrong, you haven't been the same lately." Asks my dad. I know he's concerned but I can't tell him. I can't tell anyone.
I don't say a word.
"Leena, we're in class S now. If you keep getting knocked out of battle at this rate, we're going to be in trouble." Jamie pleads.
"Do you want to get yourself killed?!?! Is that it Leena??!!" You shout at me again.
I meekly glance up.
I can tell by the look on your face that you're furious.Your arms are rigid and your fists are clenched. Your body towers over mine. I haven't seen you like this in a while.
But your eyes.
Those emerald orbs.
They aren't angry.
They're...worried.and...terrified.
For me.
And for some reason, something catches your eyes and you back off.
You're about to say something. You open your mouth to speak when Brad pipes up. He's leaning against the couch with his arms crossed and his eyes closed.
"Leave her alone you guys. She's not going to tell us anything."
Brad stands up, puts his hands in his pockets and walks off.
Doc and Jamie leave as well.
I wanted you to leave too.
But you Bit, you stayed right where you were.
And I never felt so helpless in my entire life.
"Leena, why don't you talk to any of us?" Your voice is quieter but firm.
I still don't reply but instead, I slowly stand up. My head feels so light. My legs are trembling but I have to leave. I can't stay here.
I look blankly ahead and take a step towards the door.
But as soon as I do, you reach out and grasp my wrist tightly. I turn to face you. Your face is serious. Your eyes seem to pierce right through me.
"Let me go Bit." I whisper.
You shake your head. "No Leena, not until you tell me what's going on."
I try to pull away but your steel grip refuses to budge.
"Let go Bit." I state. My eyes narrow at you. My dormant anger that has been in exile is returning.
"No." you reply. You ignore my command. God, why do you have to be so stubborn???
"Let GO BIT!!!" I shout. My free hand becomes a fist and I swing it towards your face.
(Author's Note- I don't see Leena slapping anyone. She's too strong for that, so I think a punch is much better.)
I'm quick, but you're faster. Your other arm whips up and grabs my fist that is only a few inches from connecting into your cheek.
I try to pull back but your too strong. I'm about to kick you in the stomach when you push me against the wall.
My body is pressed against the cool metal. My arms are pinned to the side. I try to struggle but there's nothing I can do. I'm no match for your upper body strength. My feet flail aimlessly, hitting your shins but it doesn't have any effect.
"You're not going anywhere Leena, not until you give me an honest answer."
I can feel your warm breath that brushes against my face. A few drops of sweat are on your forehead. Your eyes.are so serious. I can't face you. I turn my head to the side.
"I..I can't tell you." I mutter. "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"I.I-I can't." I choke out. I'm breaking down. I don't know how much longer I can hold out against you.
"I'm not going to accept that as an answer Leena."
I'm silent. Neither of us say anything for a while.
You continue to gaze into my eyes, searching for something. Then you sigh and look down in defeat.
"Leena.if you don't want to tell me now.that's fine.but.I want you to know..we're here for you...
Your head rises and you stare straight at me.
"I'm here for you."
My heart begins to race. I turn to face you in utter shock.
In confusion.
That phrase spins around my head. Each word, every syllable flooding my thoughts until I understand.
Your grip becomes weaker on my arms. I can tell you're planning to leave.
But now, I want you to stay.
"Bit..what did you say?" I whisper so quietly, I can barely hear myself.
"I.I said I'm here for you if you need anything..because.I..."
Please say why. Please don't stop now.
"I care for you.a lot.more then you know."
I blink and give a faint smile. A tear rolls down my cheek.
Now I can let it out. Now I can say what has been haunting me forever. It's now or never.
You let go of one of my wrist. My sore arm falls to my side but I don't care. The sliding tear is brushed away by your fingers.
"I...I care for you too."
There, finally. I said it. Weeks of denial and frustration let out in a few seconds.
You give a wolfish grin and hold my cheek with your hand. Your other hand snakes around my hips.
You lean in slowly. My eyes are watching every movement you make. Every breath you take. I'm so scared but I haven't felt this safe for such a long time.
When your only inches from my lips, you whisper so softly it makes me shiver.
"I love you."
Simple as that. Nothing fancy. No declaration of eternal devotion. It was pure and plain.
And it was more then anything I ever wanted.
Your lips press against mine gently. I respond almost instantly.
I wrap my arms around your neck and pull myself closer.
I'm hopelessly lost. Your warmth. Your embrace. Each kiss like a taste of paradise.
I yearned for more. A hundred thoughts ran about my mind but I pushed them away and focused on the only thing that mattered.
You.
After a while, I reluctantly pull back. I lean my forehead against yours.
"I love you too."
You smile and hold me tighter. My head rests on your strong shoulder and I close my eyes.
*End of Flashback*
I could've stayed like that till I died.
It was so comforting. So warm.
I wish that moment didn't end.
It felt to right. So perfect.
And I was so sure everything would work out fine.
But it didn't.
It couldn't turn out like a fairy tale.
And I don't know why you died.
I don't understand why you left me.
Why did this have to happen?
No one can tell me.
No one can explain to me.
Except you.
And you're gone now.
And now I'm lost.
Lost and confused.
I'm sorry if this chapter is too long. I know there isn't any Brad/Leena yet but I am going to have it develop in the next few chapters. Thank you all reviewers!!
Please read and review!!!
Me: Hi, I'm back. My last chapter wasn't very worded well so I revised it and now it sounds a little better. I'm having some trouble with Brad's profile. I'm not too sure of his attitude and his background or his last name, so while I do some research on him, pls email me or send a review and tell me what you know about him. As well as Naomi too. Thank you very much, I appreciate your help.
Thank you all reviewers!!! I appreciate your support very much!
Confusion of the Heart
It's morning again.
Another day has past.
Another day without you.
I don't see how I even lasted this long.
Each day hour I grow weaker. Whether it's physical or mental, or hell, even both, I feel so vulnerable.
So helpless.
And it's all because of you. An arrogant blond teenager.
A cocky warrior.
But God I miss you so much.
So much it hurts.
And it tears me up inside knowing that I was so cruel to you.
When you were still here, I treated you like shit.
I always jumped to conclusions.
I never gave you a break.
I didn't bother listening to you.
But still, you didn't hate me. You forgave me. It was a daily routine I guess.
No one really got on my nerves as badly as you.
It pissed me off at the time. You stealing my snacks, raiding the fridge, always getting more points then me during battles and walking in on me in the shower.
Especially you walking in on me in the shower.
And your arrogant attitude and carefree laugh.
It made me furious before.
I must've broken a hundred things by throwing them at you.
And as much as I hate to admit it, it was kinda fun to chase you around.
I secretly enjoyed having our little fights.
I could get my mind off my problems and just focus on finding ways to make you pay.
And then I started to fall for you.
I didn't understand at all. Why I would for someone like you.
Why all of a sudden, you were in my thoughts.
In my dreams.
And in my heart.
I was so afraid. I didn't know what to do. I never felt this way towards anyone before. I wasn't sure how to act around you anymore.
First I tried to just forget the whole thing. It would go away soon enough, I kept saying that to myself. I acted as if nothing had happened. I kept wasting ammo. I continued our fights and my short temper. No one knew. It was a perfect disguise.
It worked well enough.
For a while anyway.
But no matter how hard I tried, this feeling kept coming back.
Everyday, I couldn't push it away. I couldn't concentrate on anything.
I told myself it was just a simple crush. A physical attraction.
But I knew I was lying to myself.
Still, I kept denying it. Eventually, I began to withdraw from everyone. Mainly you. I began to talk less. I gave up chasing you for my snacks. Even when you dangled a half-bitten cookie in front of my face, I didn't do anything to you. I couldn't focus on the battles. I must've cost the team a ton of money with all the repairs. I know everyone was angry at me. They couldn't understand why I was acting this way.
But you Bit.you knew something was wrong.
*Flash Back*
"Leena!!! Why the hell did you just sit there and get yourself shot???!!!" You shout at me. "You could've dodged that easily!!"
Normally, I would snap right back.
But I can't risk speaking to you.
I can't say what's bothering me.
So I just stared at you for a moment and looked down at the ground like a guilty child.
"Leena, what is wrong, you haven't been the same lately." Asks my dad. I know he's concerned but I can't tell him. I can't tell anyone.
I don't say a word.
"Leena, we're in class S now. If you keep getting knocked out of battle at this rate, we're going to be in trouble." Jamie pleads.
"Do you want to get yourself killed?!?! Is that it Leena??!!" You shout at me again.
I meekly glance up.
I can tell by the look on your face that you're furious.Your arms are rigid and your fists are clenched. Your body towers over mine. I haven't seen you like this in a while.
But your eyes.
Those emerald orbs.
They aren't angry.
They're...worried.and...terrified.
For me.
And for some reason, something catches your eyes and you back off.
You're about to say something. You open your mouth to speak when Brad pipes up. He's leaning against the couch with his arms crossed and his eyes closed.
"Leave her alone you guys. She's not going to tell us anything."
Brad stands up, puts his hands in his pockets and walks off.
Doc and Jamie leave as well.
I wanted you to leave too.
But you Bit, you stayed right where you were.
And I never felt so helpless in my entire life.
"Leena, why don't you talk to any of us?" Your voice is quieter but firm.
I still don't reply but instead, I slowly stand up. My head feels so light. My legs are trembling but I have to leave. I can't stay here.
I look blankly ahead and take a step towards the door.
But as soon as I do, you reach out and grasp my wrist tightly. I turn to face you. Your face is serious. Your eyes seem to pierce right through me.
"Let me go Bit." I whisper.
You shake your head. "No Leena, not until you tell me what's going on."
I try to pull away but your steel grip refuses to budge.
"Let go Bit." I state. My eyes narrow at you. My dormant anger that has been in exile is returning.
"No." you reply. You ignore my command. God, why do you have to be so stubborn???
"Let GO BIT!!!" I shout. My free hand becomes a fist and I swing it towards your face.
(Author's Note- I don't see Leena slapping anyone. She's too strong for that, so I think a punch is much better.)
I'm quick, but you're faster. Your other arm whips up and grabs my fist that is only a few inches from connecting into your cheek.
I try to pull back but your too strong. I'm about to kick you in the stomach when you push me against the wall.
My body is pressed against the cool metal. My arms are pinned to the side. I try to struggle but there's nothing I can do. I'm no match for your upper body strength. My feet flail aimlessly, hitting your shins but it doesn't have any effect.
"You're not going anywhere Leena, not until you give me an honest answer."
I can feel your warm breath that brushes against my face. A few drops of sweat are on your forehead. Your eyes.are so serious. I can't face you. I turn my head to the side.
"I..I can't tell you." I mutter. "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"I.I-I can't." I choke out. I'm breaking down. I don't know how much longer I can hold out against you.
"I'm not going to accept that as an answer Leena."
I'm silent. Neither of us say anything for a while.
You continue to gaze into my eyes, searching for something. Then you sigh and look down in defeat.
"Leena.if you don't want to tell me now.that's fine.but.I want you to know..we're here for you...
Your head rises and you stare straight at me.
"I'm here for you."
My heart begins to race. I turn to face you in utter shock.
In confusion.
That phrase spins around my head. Each word, every syllable flooding my thoughts until I understand.
Your grip becomes weaker on my arms. I can tell you're planning to leave.
But now, I want you to stay.
"Bit..what did you say?" I whisper so quietly, I can barely hear myself.
"I.I said I'm here for you if you need anything..because.I..."
Please say why. Please don't stop now.
"I care for you.a lot.more then you know."
I blink and give a faint smile. A tear rolls down my cheek.
Now I can let it out. Now I can say what has been haunting me forever. It's now or never.
You let go of one of my wrist. My sore arm falls to my side but I don't care. The sliding tear is brushed away by your fingers.
"I...I care for you too."
There, finally. I said it. Weeks of denial and frustration let out in a few seconds.
You give a wolfish grin and hold my cheek with your hand. Your other hand snakes around my hips.
You lean in slowly. My eyes are watching every movement you make. Every breath you take. I'm so scared but I haven't felt this safe for such a long time.
When your only inches from my lips, you whisper so softly it makes me shiver.
"I love you."
Simple as that. Nothing fancy. No declaration of eternal devotion. It was pure and plain.
And it was more then anything I ever wanted.
Your lips press against mine gently. I respond almost instantly.
I wrap my arms around your neck and pull myself closer.
I'm hopelessly lost. Your warmth. Your embrace. Each kiss like a taste of paradise.
I yearned for more. A hundred thoughts ran about my mind but I pushed them away and focused on the only thing that mattered.
You.
After a while, I reluctantly pull back. I lean my forehead against yours.
"I love you too."
You smile and hold me tighter. My head rests on your strong shoulder and I close my eyes.
*End of Flashback*
I could've stayed like that till I died.
It was so comforting. So warm.
I wish that moment didn't end.
It felt to right. So perfect.
And I was so sure everything would work out fine.
But it didn't.
It couldn't turn out like a fairy tale.
And I don't know why you died.
I don't understand why you left me.
Why did this have to happen?
No one can tell me.
No one can explain to me.
Except you.
And you're gone now.
And now I'm lost.
Lost and confused.
I'm sorry if this chapter is too long. I know there isn't any Brad/Leena yet but I am going to have it develop in the next few chapters. Thank you all reviewers!!
Please read and review!!!