Title: Restless souls - Gone
Author: Jessica
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se
Pairing: Rory/Jess
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
Summary: Jess is back in New York and it's time for Rory to make
a choice.
AUTHORS NOTE: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar
mistakes may occur.
--------------------------------
New York
No hug.
No kiss on the cheek.
Not even a smile.
I can read her like an open book.
She doesn't want me here.
My mother tries to act like she is happy to see me.
But I can see the truth in her eyes.
I should have stayed away.
But I don't know where to go.
I don't blame her for feeling the way she does.
I have acted like a fool.
Been in trouble.
Acting crazy.
But I kept hoping she would greet me with open arms.
She has never been the loving kind.
I sometimes doubt that she loves me.
She has never actually said the words.
I needed to hear those three words.
It would be so simple.
But all I get is a cold shoulder.
I'm laying here watching as the moon makes its way passed my window.
It's never quiet here.
I miss the silence of a small town.
I miss a lot of things of the life I left behind.
But I have to accept it.
There is no reason to go back.
-----------------------
Stars Hollow
I thought life would go back to normal after he left.
Life before him.
I go about my day as usual.
But sometimes he comes to me.
His face.
His smile.
His voice.
I try to drive him away from my thoughts but it's impossible.
I have tried to make him go away.
Tried every way possible.
But I know it's no use.
I have to accept.
It's time to accept.
---------------------
I picked up the phone for the fifth time during the past
hour only to put it down again.
I wanted to call.
Hear her voice.
Just for a second.
A moment.
Hear her say my name.
Let myself remember.
But all it will do is cause me pain.
I know that.
But still I want to do it.
To silence the voices that whispered in my head.
My hands tremble as I dial her number.
She answers a minute later.
"Rory."
"Jess?"
"Yeah..."
"I'm so glad you called...I wanted to....talk.."
"Yeah, I know.."
"You left so suddenly.."
"I wanted to go home.."
"But why?"
BECAUSE OF YOU
"I just had to."
"But I thought.."
"What?"
"Nothing.."
"No, you were about to say something."
"I thought we were friends."
"We were never friends."
"Jess.."
"No. It's the truth...I don't want to be your "friend"."
"Then, what do you want?"
"You know what I want."
"I can never do what you ask of me.."
"Then, there is nothing more to say."
"Jess, please..."
"No, I can't do this anymore. You have made your choice."
"STOP THIS!"
"What!?"
"So this is it? Just like that..."
"Yes."
"Jess.."
"I'm in love with you, Rory. Can't you see that? I did everything
but spell it out for you...But you..."
"I can't.."
"Then..there's nothing more to say."
"Jess."
"Goodbye, Rory."
Then I hung up.
--------------------------
I sat there a long time just starring at the phone.
His voice kept ringing in my ear.
Jess.
His face was before me.
Chasing me.
Haunting me.
Hurting me.
I wanted to go to him.
Explain.
Make him understand.
But I feared him.
Fearing the truth.
I hide behind everyone.
It would be so easy just to reach out.
Let go.
Let myself love him.
It would be so easy.
And oh, so sweet.
I have never felt like this before.
So totally and completely lost.
I rose from my bed and walked up to the window.
Not even the moon could bring me peace.
I closed my eyes and prayed for an answer.
------------------------
It's time now to let go.
Let her be in the past.
But I don't know how to let her go.
I wish I could find a way.
I have been a fool.
I can see that now.
She was never mine.
I thought I could sweep her of her feet.
Make her see me.
But all it caused me was pain.
I will drive her out of my heart.
Or else I will slowly but surely fade away.
-----------------------
His face kept chasing me around.
His words kept ringing in my ear.
I tried to shut him out.
I tried to drive him away from my heart.
But I failed.
All I could see was him.
Taste him.
Feel his arms around me.
I longed for him.
Wanted him.
Needed him.
For once in my life I truly listened to
my heart.
I was going to New York and win his heart.
Again.
But this time I will not let fear hold me back.
Not this time.
Never again.
------------------------
I drifted in out of clubs and bar.
Me and my friends.
Wanting to erase her from my memories.
Not wanting her in my heart.
It was better this way.
The night brought my soul peace.
The alcohol helped me a little bit.
To forget.
Wanting to replace a memory with another.
Then she came along.
Her name was Anne.
Blonde.
Blue eyes.
Not Rory.
She saved me.
She took me in.
I fell into her.
In her arms I forgot the world for a while.
The morning came with all its glory.
My mother was of with another boyfriend.
I woke in my bed.
Anne was beside me.
My head felt heavy as I slipped from the bed.
I could still taste her.
I have been her so many times before.
Not many.
But a few times.
The wrong girl.
The wrong place.
Wrong.
Wrong.
The doorbell woke me from my daydreaming.
I slipped into my jeans and went to open.
My heart stopped as I saw her.
Rory.
She smiled.
"Jess."
"Rory."
Angel.
-------------------
Part 4 is called "And then she smiled" COMING SOON:...I hope :)
Feedback---j_rothen@yahoo.se
Author: Jessica
Email: j_rothen@yahoo.se
Distribution: Wherever...just let me know where
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG
Feedback: YES please....j_rothen@yahoo.se
Pairing: Rory/Jess
Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
Summary: Jess is back in New York and it's time for Rory to make
a choice.
AUTHORS NOTE: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar
mistakes may occur.
--------------------------------
New York
No hug.
No kiss on the cheek.
Not even a smile.
I can read her like an open book.
She doesn't want me here.
My mother tries to act like she is happy to see me.
But I can see the truth in her eyes.
I should have stayed away.
But I don't know where to go.
I don't blame her for feeling the way she does.
I have acted like a fool.
Been in trouble.
Acting crazy.
But I kept hoping she would greet me with open arms.
She has never been the loving kind.
I sometimes doubt that she loves me.
She has never actually said the words.
I needed to hear those three words.
It would be so simple.
But all I get is a cold shoulder.
I'm laying here watching as the moon makes its way passed my window.
It's never quiet here.
I miss the silence of a small town.
I miss a lot of things of the life I left behind.
But I have to accept it.
There is no reason to go back.
-----------------------
Stars Hollow
I thought life would go back to normal after he left.
Life before him.
I go about my day as usual.
But sometimes he comes to me.
His face.
His smile.
His voice.
I try to drive him away from my thoughts but it's impossible.
I have tried to make him go away.
Tried every way possible.
But I know it's no use.
I have to accept.
It's time to accept.
---------------------
I picked up the phone for the fifth time during the past
hour only to put it down again.
I wanted to call.
Hear her voice.
Just for a second.
A moment.
Hear her say my name.
Let myself remember.
But all it will do is cause me pain.
I know that.
But still I want to do it.
To silence the voices that whispered in my head.
My hands tremble as I dial her number.
She answers a minute later.
"Rory."
"Jess?"
"Yeah..."
"I'm so glad you called...I wanted to....talk.."
"Yeah, I know.."
"You left so suddenly.."
"I wanted to go home.."
"But why?"
BECAUSE OF YOU
"I just had to."
"But I thought.."
"What?"
"Nothing.."
"No, you were about to say something."
"I thought we were friends."
"We were never friends."
"Jess.."
"No. It's the truth...I don't want to be your "friend"."
"Then, what do you want?"
"You know what I want."
"I can never do what you ask of me.."
"Then, there is nothing more to say."
"Jess, please..."
"No, I can't do this anymore. You have made your choice."
"STOP THIS!"
"What!?"
"So this is it? Just like that..."
"Yes."
"Jess.."
"I'm in love with you, Rory. Can't you see that? I did everything
but spell it out for you...But you..."
"I can't.."
"Then..there's nothing more to say."
"Jess."
"Goodbye, Rory."
Then I hung up.
--------------------------
I sat there a long time just starring at the phone.
His voice kept ringing in my ear.
Jess.
His face was before me.
Chasing me.
Haunting me.
Hurting me.
I wanted to go to him.
Explain.
Make him understand.
But I feared him.
Fearing the truth.
I hide behind everyone.
It would be so easy just to reach out.
Let go.
Let myself love him.
It would be so easy.
And oh, so sweet.
I have never felt like this before.
So totally and completely lost.
I rose from my bed and walked up to the window.
Not even the moon could bring me peace.
I closed my eyes and prayed for an answer.
------------------------
It's time now to let go.
Let her be in the past.
But I don't know how to let her go.
I wish I could find a way.
I have been a fool.
I can see that now.
She was never mine.
I thought I could sweep her of her feet.
Make her see me.
But all it caused me was pain.
I will drive her out of my heart.
Or else I will slowly but surely fade away.
-----------------------
His face kept chasing me around.
His words kept ringing in my ear.
I tried to shut him out.
I tried to drive him away from my heart.
But I failed.
All I could see was him.
Taste him.
Feel his arms around me.
I longed for him.
Wanted him.
Needed him.
For once in my life I truly listened to
my heart.
I was going to New York and win his heart.
Again.
But this time I will not let fear hold me back.
Not this time.
Never again.
------------------------
I drifted in out of clubs and bar.
Me and my friends.
Wanting to erase her from my memories.
Not wanting her in my heart.
It was better this way.
The night brought my soul peace.
The alcohol helped me a little bit.
To forget.
Wanting to replace a memory with another.
Then she came along.
Her name was Anne.
Blonde.
Blue eyes.
Not Rory.
She saved me.
She took me in.
I fell into her.
In her arms I forgot the world for a while.
The morning came with all its glory.
My mother was of with another boyfriend.
I woke in my bed.
Anne was beside me.
My head felt heavy as I slipped from the bed.
I could still taste her.
I have been her so many times before.
Not many.
But a few times.
The wrong girl.
The wrong place.
Wrong.
Wrong.
The doorbell woke me from my daydreaming.
I slipped into my jeans and went to open.
My heart stopped as I saw her.
Rory.
She smiled.
"Jess."
"Rory."
Angel.
-------------------
Part 4 is called "And then she smiled" COMING SOON:...I hope :)
Feedback---j_rothen@yahoo.se