D/C- I didn't know I ha to do this. I don't own any of the places that are
mentioned I this book they are all the work of Terry Pratchett, but all the
characters are of my own creation.
Chapter 1
Orders
' The delegates will be arriving soon. You know how important they are. They are vital to the existence of our nation' said Lord Lorus. 'No one knows. The people think they are delegates for a fair trade meeting. The gullible buggers. A fair trade meeting in this city. Please' this last sentence brought a grin to face. He brought up his sword and span it on the spot a grinding noise filled the whole chamber. 'The people of this city must not know the real reason why they are here. Just think of the consequences. Rioting, mob law, the priests would be having a field day trying to convert them. If they knew we were hiding this from them it would destroy everything we stood for honesty, peace, equality and of course apple pies!'
'Yes of course grace I will not say a word to not no one' said Sergeant Loki. 'How will the delegates be arriving?'
'Their ships will be arriving in the next hour. The docks have been done up you know a bit of cleaning, red carpet and we shipped all the beggars out, cracked down on the gang lords and nicked all the illegal traders.' Lord Lorus ticked all these off on his mental checklist.
'So who should I be expecting your grace?' replied Sergeant Loki. Loki wasn't that clever but he wasn't dumb he knew that a promotion only came your way once in while, it was best to suck up now and have a comfortable retirement to look forward to.
'Well you know, um.thingy and what's he called and err.. That guy with the big beard and some others.' Lord Lorus wasn't too good with names but Loki thought he had a good idea of who he should expect. It would be all the crème de la crème of society from the all nations around the world. 'You're a bright lad, the delegates will be the really posh ones, the people that look out of place in the dock land.'
'OK' said Sergeant Loki who had just started jotting down his orders in his regulation notebook. 'Will that be all your Grace'.
'Remember try not to make too much of scene. If somebody even got a sniff of what was goin' on this meeting. I'd have your kidneys for breakfast, your lungs for brunch and your testicles for my dog'. Lord Lorus could be quite cruel when he was mad. Only yesterday he had a man's fingers cut off for tapping them in a meeting and the day before a women mysteriously committed suicide after threatening to curse him. If anyone knew what was happening out on the northern flats his career as a public servant would be over.
'OK' said Sergeant Loki a look of sheer horror had passed over his face and one hand seemed to be cupping his privates. 'What shall I if say anyone is suspicious?'
'Arrest them! You're the law aren't you take a few men with you. I don't want the delegates being mugged or murdered on the way. Show them around as well. Take them to all the favourite places and show them how equal our city is. You know the library, the town crier then bring back here. We need their men!' At this point Lorus had risen from his ornate chair and slammed his fist on the desk spilling ink all over his paperwork. 'Oh bugger!' He exclaimed. He picked up the gold bell from his desk and rang it. A few seconds later two people came crashing through door landing in a heap in front of the desk.
* * *
'Yes your Grace?' a terrified woman had risen from the mess on the floor brushing dust off her clothes and straightening her apron.
'Clean up this mess' he shouted stepping back from the desk pushing the chair into the wall behind. 'Oh and Higgins when you've put yourself together bring me my cloak I need to take a walk'.
Lord Lorus never joked about his work, when he told Higgins to put himself back together he meant literally. Higgins was a undead, a zombie in other words and had the tendency to fall apart but in the city of equal opportunities everyone had to be given a fair chance.
Only this morning when Higgins was carrying a tray of tea up to his master in bed, the tray was too heavy and crashed to the floor with his arms still attached. He had to stand around waiting for Fea his co-worker to come re- attach his arms and by this time the tea was cold and Lord Lorus was irate, he always liked to read his tea leaves at the start of the day.
Higgins wasn't much taller than Loki, but his most striking feature was his grey complexion and his skin that hung off from his skeleton, that looked like a cloth that had been draped over his bones. It had been two years since Higgins had rose from the grave, ever since he had been in the service of Lord Lorus. Higgins was his butler, advisor and closet friend, and well only friend. He got the job with Lorus after being arrested when he was walking the streets. It wasn't his fault, he'd been dead for 200 years, and times had changed since his day.
He spent some time in jail and got the job when Lord Lorus was on his election campaign. He visited the jail and hired him and Fea to show his affectionate, equal side. Fea was also in jail for illegal trade of explicit material. When she was arrested it was in all the papers for everyone to read well all those that could. The others heard about through the fishmonger's wives. This spread like wild fire, someone in the city was selling bananas illegally, breaking the banana tax, she was on the run for three years. When Lord Lorus had been elected 2 months later, they were moved to the palace and have served there ever since. But could all this be about to change?
Loki had started backing away to the double doors taking his cloak, which he had thrown across the near by chair before.
'I'm leaving your Grace, I had better get to the Guard House to collect some men.' He said opening the door.
'Very good Sergeant, I now I can rely on you. Higgins show Sergeant Loki out' Lord Lorus turned away from Loki and looked out of the window to the side of his desk he surveyed the city and tutted and said 'Damn I'm good, by the end of the afternoon I will have an army unrivalled by none'.
Chapter 1
Orders
' The delegates will be arriving soon. You know how important they are. They are vital to the existence of our nation' said Lord Lorus. 'No one knows. The people think they are delegates for a fair trade meeting. The gullible buggers. A fair trade meeting in this city. Please' this last sentence brought a grin to face. He brought up his sword and span it on the spot a grinding noise filled the whole chamber. 'The people of this city must not know the real reason why they are here. Just think of the consequences. Rioting, mob law, the priests would be having a field day trying to convert them. If they knew we were hiding this from them it would destroy everything we stood for honesty, peace, equality and of course apple pies!'
'Yes of course grace I will not say a word to not no one' said Sergeant Loki. 'How will the delegates be arriving?'
'Their ships will be arriving in the next hour. The docks have been done up you know a bit of cleaning, red carpet and we shipped all the beggars out, cracked down on the gang lords and nicked all the illegal traders.' Lord Lorus ticked all these off on his mental checklist.
'So who should I be expecting your grace?' replied Sergeant Loki. Loki wasn't that clever but he wasn't dumb he knew that a promotion only came your way once in while, it was best to suck up now and have a comfortable retirement to look forward to.
'Well you know, um.thingy and what's he called and err.. That guy with the big beard and some others.' Lord Lorus wasn't too good with names but Loki thought he had a good idea of who he should expect. It would be all the crème de la crème of society from the all nations around the world. 'You're a bright lad, the delegates will be the really posh ones, the people that look out of place in the dock land.'
'OK' said Sergeant Loki who had just started jotting down his orders in his regulation notebook. 'Will that be all your Grace'.
'Remember try not to make too much of scene. If somebody even got a sniff of what was goin' on this meeting. I'd have your kidneys for breakfast, your lungs for brunch and your testicles for my dog'. Lord Lorus could be quite cruel when he was mad. Only yesterday he had a man's fingers cut off for tapping them in a meeting and the day before a women mysteriously committed suicide after threatening to curse him. If anyone knew what was happening out on the northern flats his career as a public servant would be over.
'OK' said Sergeant Loki a look of sheer horror had passed over his face and one hand seemed to be cupping his privates. 'What shall I if say anyone is suspicious?'
'Arrest them! You're the law aren't you take a few men with you. I don't want the delegates being mugged or murdered on the way. Show them around as well. Take them to all the favourite places and show them how equal our city is. You know the library, the town crier then bring back here. We need their men!' At this point Lorus had risen from his ornate chair and slammed his fist on the desk spilling ink all over his paperwork. 'Oh bugger!' He exclaimed. He picked up the gold bell from his desk and rang it. A few seconds later two people came crashing through door landing in a heap in front of the desk.
* * *
'Yes your Grace?' a terrified woman had risen from the mess on the floor brushing dust off her clothes and straightening her apron.
'Clean up this mess' he shouted stepping back from the desk pushing the chair into the wall behind. 'Oh and Higgins when you've put yourself together bring me my cloak I need to take a walk'.
Lord Lorus never joked about his work, when he told Higgins to put himself back together he meant literally. Higgins was a undead, a zombie in other words and had the tendency to fall apart but in the city of equal opportunities everyone had to be given a fair chance.
Only this morning when Higgins was carrying a tray of tea up to his master in bed, the tray was too heavy and crashed to the floor with his arms still attached. He had to stand around waiting for Fea his co-worker to come re- attach his arms and by this time the tea was cold and Lord Lorus was irate, he always liked to read his tea leaves at the start of the day.
Higgins wasn't much taller than Loki, but his most striking feature was his grey complexion and his skin that hung off from his skeleton, that looked like a cloth that had been draped over his bones. It had been two years since Higgins had rose from the grave, ever since he had been in the service of Lord Lorus. Higgins was his butler, advisor and closet friend, and well only friend. He got the job with Lorus after being arrested when he was walking the streets. It wasn't his fault, he'd been dead for 200 years, and times had changed since his day.
He spent some time in jail and got the job when Lord Lorus was on his election campaign. He visited the jail and hired him and Fea to show his affectionate, equal side. Fea was also in jail for illegal trade of explicit material. When she was arrested it was in all the papers for everyone to read well all those that could. The others heard about through the fishmonger's wives. This spread like wild fire, someone in the city was selling bananas illegally, breaking the banana tax, she was on the run for three years. When Lord Lorus had been elected 2 months later, they were moved to the palace and have served there ever since. But could all this be about to change?
Loki had started backing away to the double doors taking his cloak, which he had thrown across the near by chair before.
'I'm leaving your Grace, I had better get to the Guard House to collect some men.' He said opening the door.
'Very good Sergeant, I now I can rely on you. Higgins show Sergeant Loki out' Lord Lorus turned away from Loki and looked out of the window to the side of his desk he surveyed the city and tutted and said 'Damn I'm good, by the end of the afternoon I will have an army unrivalled by none'.