DISTANT MEMORIES PART 3.
Disclaimer: Paramount own Star Trek Voyager.
Read and Please review Thanks.
I would like to say "Thank You RAT" for all your help and patience in Beta- ing this.
Sleep eluded him. However before he could rest, he needed to think. Equally, before he could think he needed to rest.
He needed to talk with his friend, Kathryn.
Since reading the minutes, he'd begun to realise that she was guilty of nothing more than "daydreaming". Neelix's talk of tomatoes had been the key unlocking the door to memories long since buried. The talk of tomatoes had reminded him too, of the time they'd shared on New earth. He liked to visit that memory occasionally, where he and Kathryn shared laughter, and even dreams.
How could he ever explain to her the reason for his anger? That speaking of that time she had in effect. "Stolen, his dream." Thoughts and memories that were theirs alone, not to be shared with others. He only wanted to remember with Kathryn, but she'd denied him that since their return
When she rebuked him on the bridge in front of the crew, it had hurt him, but even so, his response was inexcusable. The silence that followed was not caused by either his words or hers but the meaning behind them.
Chakotay was restless, pacing his quarters he was overwhelmed by a feeling of being imprisoned, by protocols and four walls. Walking the decks of Voyager was a something he enjoyed. Seeing and been seen by the crew, he knew a first officer needed to be aware of the ships moral. He almost smiled; sometimes he knew the moral before the crew did. By showering and putting on a clean uniform, he felt slightly better. How strangely comforting routine was. Chakotay started his walk.
Kathryn tossed and turned as fragments of the memories kept hidden for so long came back to taunt her.
Memories of New Earth and the peace they'd found in each other's company, of how easily she laughed while she was with him. Evenings spent sitting side-by-side watching the stars, exchanging their hopes and fears. As the days passed and her hopes of finding a cure dimmed, they sat late into the night and shared their dreams.
Remembering how they were, was almost like looking at a Holo Image, memories frozen in time. There were things they never had the chance to do. or say. This was why she'd buried the memories, the pain of remembering felt to intense.
However, memories might be all she had left now. She might have finally managed, after all this time, to destroy their friendship with only a few unintended words. Kathryn groaned as she recalled his eyes. Rising, she grabbed her robe and left the bedroom. She should never allowed their feelings become taboo. These memories always made her sad.
She needed coffee now!
As Chakotay walked he relaxed, he enjoyed the atmosphere of Voyager at night. No wonder Harry liked the shift. On these walks by night, his thoughts sometimes drifted to Earth. Not in the Alpha Quadrant, but their New Earth.
Pausing briefly at the entrance to the mess hall he found it empty, realising he'd been hoping to find Neelix trying out a recipe. Late night chats with Neelix sampling his new recipes always served to cheer him, as long as there was no Leola Root involved. Moving toward the turbo lift, he leaned wearily against the bulkhead and waited for the lift.
Kathryn Janeway often wondered who controlled her destiny, seeing Chakotay as the lift doors opened, only served to prove yet again whom ever it was had a unique sense of timing. He looked tired, and deep in thought. She watched him for a few seconds before he even registered her presence. Struggling to pull himself upright as he spoke "Captain" hearing the discomfort, in his voice. She bit her lip.
Kathryn nodded toward the mess hall "I'm hoping Neelix has some coffee made" she steered clear of using either his rank or his name, feeling the need to keep him talking, but unsure of what to say, she needed to keep it neutral to make him stay.
"He's not there; I was hoping for company myself." Immediately he realised his words could be mistaken as an invitation, but that was not his intention.
"Really, I could do with some company too; care to join me on a midnight raid of the mess hall?" She waited for his response, glad he'd made the first move.
Chakotay's face remained impassive, by his silence Kathryn realised she'd some how misunderstood what he said. She tried to facilitate his escape.
"It's alright. Another time maybe?" The sound of hope and despair in her voice snapped him back to the present, he would not hurt her; again.
He smiled"No, 02.10 hours is the perfect time for a midnight raid." although the smile never reached his eyes, but if she was willing he would to try.
Kathryn let out the breath she wasn't even aware she was holding and followed Chakotay to the mess hall.
"Ahh. At last! Coffee." At the sound of Kathryn's relief as she attacked the coffee machine with determination Chakotay's smile finally reached his eyes.
"What will you have?" she called over her shoulder
"I'll join you in a coffee, Thanks" he replied
"It won't be long" She joined him at the table, sitting back.
"So what have you done to your replicator now? Or has it just gone on strike?" Chakotay tried to lighten the mood that was building.
It worked. The entire crew knew of the long running feud Kathryn had with her replicator, this was neutral ground. Her response as he expected was immediate. "I did nothing! Well, not much, I was too tired.. okay. maybe I should not have threatened it with my boot."
Chakotay laughed a he suddenly had a mental picture of Kathryn descending on an unarmed replicator. "So you've finally resorted to violence.TUT... TUT"
"What else do you expect, it wouldn't give me.. coffee! I was tired" she shifted slightly, and paused a minute before saying anything more. "Chakotay I couldn't sleep.." The atmosphere changed immediately.
"Neither could I." Chakotay answered so quietly she almost missed it. The silence pressed down on them both. Kathryn breaking the spell, moving fetching the coffee.
The activity giving them both, a chance to recover. As Kathryn returned with hot coffee he grinned, "Where's my cream and sugar Kathryn?" he teased.
She feigned a sigh "Do you think I could forget how you ruin perfectly good coffee? I've already added two sugars, and here's the cream" Reaching to pass it their fingers touched, both pulled back. The jug fell and spilt on the table between them.
"Kathryn; are you trying to distract while you poison my coffee" inclining His head toward the spillage, he was trying to break the tension touching had caused.
He threw his head back and laughed at her look of indignation, Kathryn realised he was teasing. Moving swiftly grabbing at a cloth, he dabbed the spilt liquid. She started to pick up the broken pieces, cutting her hand slightly, moving round he took her hand looking at the cut. Suddenly she realised they were standing too close, this man who had been at her side for over 5 years. On the other hand, was it she who was to close? There was no avoiding what was in his eyes; it had been in his eyes since they had come back to the ship.
"Not too bad." Stepping back, he'd felt her discomfort. Smiling as he released her hand.
As he let her hand go, she suddenly felt alone and desperately wanted to feel her hand in his. This was silly she was a grownup but now nothing else mattered but them. She did not move.
Taking a breath as he closed the gap between them, she moved resting her forehead against his chest. He spoke softly into her hair "Kathryn we need to talk..please"
Feeling his words in her hair "Not here Chakotay"
Disclaimer: Paramount own Star Trek Voyager.
Read and Please review Thanks.
I would like to say "Thank You RAT" for all your help and patience in Beta- ing this.
Sleep eluded him. However before he could rest, he needed to think. Equally, before he could think he needed to rest.
He needed to talk with his friend, Kathryn.
Since reading the minutes, he'd begun to realise that she was guilty of nothing more than "daydreaming". Neelix's talk of tomatoes had been the key unlocking the door to memories long since buried. The talk of tomatoes had reminded him too, of the time they'd shared on New earth. He liked to visit that memory occasionally, where he and Kathryn shared laughter, and even dreams.
How could he ever explain to her the reason for his anger? That speaking of that time she had in effect. "Stolen, his dream." Thoughts and memories that were theirs alone, not to be shared with others. He only wanted to remember with Kathryn, but she'd denied him that since their return
When she rebuked him on the bridge in front of the crew, it had hurt him, but even so, his response was inexcusable. The silence that followed was not caused by either his words or hers but the meaning behind them.
Chakotay was restless, pacing his quarters he was overwhelmed by a feeling of being imprisoned, by protocols and four walls. Walking the decks of Voyager was a something he enjoyed. Seeing and been seen by the crew, he knew a first officer needed to be aware of the ships moral. He almost smiled; sometimes he knew the moral before the crew did. By showering and putting on a clean uniform, he felt slightly better. How strangely comforting routine was. Chakotay started his walk.
Kathryn tossed and turned as fragments of the memories kept hidden for so long came back to taunt her.
Memories of New Earth and the peace they'd found in each other's company, of how easily she laughed while she was with him. Evenings spent sitting side-by-side watching the stars, exchanging their hopes and fears. As the days passed and her hopes of finding a cure dimmed, they sat late into the night and shared their dreams.
Remembering how they were, was almost like looking at a Holo Image, memories frozen in time. There were things they never had the chance to do. or say. This was why she'd buried the memories, the pain of remembering felt to intense.
However, memories might be all she had left now. She might have finally managed, after all this time, to destroy their friendship with only a few unintended words. Kathryn groaned as she recalled his eyes. Rising, she grabbed her robe and left the bedroom. She should never allowed their feelings become taboo. These memories always made her sad.
She needed coffee now!
As Chakotay walked he relaxed, he enjoyed the atmosphere of Voyager at night. No wonder Harry liked the shift. On these walks by night, his thoughts sometimes drifted to Earth. Not in the Alpha Quadrant, but their New Earth.
Pausing briefly at the entrance to the mess hall he found it empty, realising he'd been hoping to find Neelix trying out a recipe. Late night chats with Neelix sampling his new recipes always served to cheer him, as long as there was no Leola Root involved. Moving toward the turbo lift, he leaned wearily against the bulkhead and waited for the lift.
Kathryn Janeway often wondered who controlled her destiny, seeing Chakotay as the lift doors opened, only served to prove yet again whom ever it was had a unique sense of timing. He looked tired, and deep in thought. She watched him for a few seconds before he even registered her presence. Struggling to pull himself upright as he spoke "Captain" hearing the discomfort, in his voice. She bit her lip.
Kathryn nodded toward the mess hall "I'm hoping Neelix has some coffee made" she steered clear of using either his rank or his name, feeling the need to keep him talking, but unsure of what to say, she needed to keep it neutral to make him stay.
"He's not there; I was hoping for company myself." Immediately he realised his words could be mistaken as an invitation, but that was not his intention.
"Really, I could do with some company too; care to join me on a midnight raid of the mess hall?" She waited for his response, glad he'd made the first move.
Chakotay's face remained impassive, by his silence Kathryn realised she'd some how misunderstood what he said. She tried to facilitate his escape.
"It's alright. Another time maybe?" The sound of hope and despair in her voice snapped him back to the present, he would not hurt her; again.
He smiled"No, 02.10 hours is the perfect time for a midnight raid." although the smile never reached his eyes, but if she was willing he would to try.
Kathryn let out the breath she wasn't even aware she was holding and followed Chakotay to the mess hall.
"Ahh. At last! Coffee." At the sound of Kathryn's relief as she attacked the coffee machine with determination Chakotay's smile finally reached his eyes.
"What will you have?" she called over her shoulder
"I'll join you in a coffee, Thanks" he replied
"It won't be long" She joined him at the table, sitting back.
"So what have you done to your replicator now? Or has it just gone on strike?" Chakotay tried to lighten the mood that was building.
It worked. The entire crew knew of the long running feud Kathryn had with her replicator, this was neutral ground. Her response as he expected was immediate. "I did nothing! Well, not much, I was too tired.. okay. maybe I should not have threatened it with my boot."
Chakotay laughed a he suddenly had a mental picture of Kathryn descending on an unarmed replicator. "So you've finally resorted to violence.TUT... TUT"
"What else do you expect, it wouldn't give me.. coffee! I was tired" she shifted slightly, and paused a minute before saying anything more. "Chakotay I couldn't sleep.." The atmosphere changed immediately.
"Neither could I." Chakotay answered so quietly she almost missed it. The silence pressed down on them both. Kathryn breaking the spell, moving fetching the coffee.
The activity giving them both, a chance to recover. As Kathryn returned with hot coffee he grinned, "Where's my cream and sugar Kathryn?" he teased.
She feigned a sigh "Do you think I could forget how you ruin perfectly good coffee? I've already added two sugars, and here's the cream" Reaching to pass it their fingers touched, both pulled back. The jug fell and spilt on the table between them.
"Kathryn; are you trying to distract while you poison my coffee" inclining His head toward the spillage, he was trying to break the tension touching had caused.
He threw his head back and laughed at her look of indignation, Kathryn realised he was teasing. Moving swiftly grabbing at a cloth, he dabbed the spilt liquid. She started to pick up the broken pieces, cutting her hand slightly, moving round he took her hand looking at the cut. Suddenly she realised they were standing too close, this man who had been at her side for over 5 years. On the other hand, was it she who was to close? There was no avoiding what was in his eyes; it had been in his eyes since they had come back to the ship.
"Not too bad." Stepping back, he'd felt her discomfort. Smiling as he released her hand.
As he let her hand go, she suddenly felt alone and desperately wanted to feel her hand in his. This was silly she was a grownup but now nothing else mattered but them. She did not move.
Taking a breath as he closed the gap between them, she moved resting her forehead against his chest. He spoke softly into her hair "Kathryn we need to talk..please"
Feeling his words in her hair "Not here Chakotay"