Yu-Gi-Oh! Twist Chronicles
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof
By Zelloss
Episode 9 - Dark Magic vs. Dragon God
"Alright, we're here!" Yugi shouted out. "So where's Mokuba?"
Kimo turned from behind a nearby dueling stadium; in his hand, the
young Mokuba Kaiba squirmed.
"Alright, Kimo!" Yugi challenged. "I'm challenging you to a duel!"
Kimo smiled, despite the kicks from Mokuba. "I'm not the one you'll
be dueling!"
Yugi looked shocked, and so did the group. Kimo's finger stretched
towards the top of the stadium.
Everybody turned to see a familiar shadow at the top of the stadium.
"Kaiba?" Yugi demanded.
"Good afternoon, Yugi" said Kaiba's deep voice.
"I'm afraid Kaiba met with an unfortunate end earlier today" Kimo
spoke with a tinge of sadness. "Of course, he's got a vengeful spirit, one
that comes back to defeat you, Yugi Moto!"
Mokuba stopped kicking as he said that. He fearfully looked at the
man on top of the stadium. His own older brother, Seto Kaiba. No, it
couldn't be!
"You're not my brother!" Mokuba shouted out in protest.
Yugi quickly stepped onto the dueling platform as it rose up,
becoming Yami Yugi as he did.
"Kaiba?" Joey spoke, stunned. "Wait a second... who was he again?"
Téa wanted to smack him, but Tristan got in her way and took the
blow. Téa's lips turned up into an evil smirk.
Meanwhile, somewhere inside the island...
"Let's find Yugi Moto!" Kaiba spoke.
"How can we find him?" the computer program asked. "Especially if
Pegasus has locked all data on him..."
Kaiba stopped in thought for a moment. "Pegasus hasn't locked all
data, trust me! We'll find him, but how?"
Back on the surface, Yugi's duel had already begun. Kaiba took the
first turn.
"Go, Hitatsu-Mi Giant!" Kaiba called, playing a card. A rather
tall, one-eyed giant appeared.
Yugi stopped. That was exactly how they had begun their first duel!
He knew exactly how to counter it.
"Go, Gaia, the Fierce Knight!" Yugi commanded, sending Gaia forth at
the instant he appeared. Gaia ran towards the Hitatsu-Mi Giant...
There was a stabbing sound, a tiny squeak, and the Hitatsu-Mi Giant
turned into a mouse, then dissapeared.
Yugi and Kaiba stared eye-to-eye, totally confused. "A mouse?"
Just for explanitory purposes, we'd best go to Pegasus' Castle...
"It appears we have a bug in the system..." Kimo began to tell the
head of Industrial Illusions.
"No, we have a mouse in the system..." Pegasus cursed. "It seems as
though the REAL Kaiba is online..."
"What does one have to do with the other?" Kimo wondered aloud.
Pegasus just shrugged.
"Just made sense..." Pegasus breathed deep. "You have no sense of
humor, Kimo..."
"But I do, sir!" Kimo popped on a clown's mask. Pegasus took one
look, then screamed his head off and jumped behind his chair.
"NEVER WEAR A CLOWN MASK IN MY PRESENCE!" Pegasus demanded.
"YIPES!" Kimo shouted, jumping away and tearing off the mask. "I
thought you liked clowns? You certainly like toon mon..."
"THAT'S THE SECRET PLAN!" Pegasus continued to shout. "YOU CAN'T
SAY THAT!"
"Err..." Kimo paused. "Umm... Sorry."
"Better, Kimo!" Pegasus smiled. "Now then, let's bring up the duel
with Yugi and our little friend, the Doppleganger!"
Well, as he said, let's bring up the duel with Yugi and our little
friend, the Doppleganger... Hold it! He's not our friend...
"Go, Saagi the Dark Clown!" the copy Kaiba grinned, playing the
nible little magic beast in defense mode.
Pegasus' scream was heard all over the island.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Tristan plugged his ears.
"I don't know..." Téa moaned.
"Go Yugi!" Joey shouted up, before the full force of Pegasus' scream
hit him. He fell over backwards, stunned. Even Saagi and Gaia fainted from
the force of the sound. Both monsters dissapeared.
"Holy..." Yugi whispered, "That's quite the blast..."
"You like it?" Kaiba grinned, "It's something Master Pegasus does
lots..."
"You're not Kaiba!" Mokuba shouted. "Kaiba never calls Pegasus
'Master', he only calls him..."
"Let's get that Squealing bastard..." Kaiba growled, as a map of the
Duelist Kingdom popped up on screen. "Search for any place the card 'Dark
Magician' is in play..."
"Alright, Kaiba, but I don't see why you'd look for a card like
that, to be honest with you..." the feminine computer program responded. A
small panel opened in the side wall and a tray of food came out on a metal
arm.
"Oh yes, and your food is ready..." the computer added, as an
afterthought.
Kaiba's eyes went big and starry as he looked over the small tray.
"MISTER POCKY!" he shouted, grabbing a small box of candies. He
greedily dumped them into his mouth.
"Nnyfng?" Kaiba asked through a mouthfull of Mister Pocky.
"I'm sorry, what?" the computer asked.
"NnyfngbowtheDorkMgicin?" Kaiba swallowed down some of the box-full
of his favorite snack.
"WHAT?" the computer demanded.
"You're a computer. This is a lot of years in the future, you're
supposed to understand EVERYTHING" Kaiba sighed.
"Sorry, but there's no card on any field named the Dork Magician..."
the computer responded.
"Dark, not Dork!" Kaiba corrected. His mind wandered to an image of
the Dark Magician with pocket protectors, big plastic glasses, and wielding
a keyboard instead of a staff. He shuddered.
"Keep looking," Kaiba encouraged the system, "Yugi's bound to play
it sometime..."
Alright. I'd say we've seen enough of Pegasus and Kaiba. We've
certainly heard enough of Pegasus. So let's watch Yugi for a bit.
"Go, Dark Magician!" Yugi smiled, playing the magician. Thankfully,
it was without a keyboard, pocket protectors, and glasses.
Kaiba grinned. "Go, Blue Eyes White Dragon!"
A huge monsterous dragon tore from the ground. It glared hard at
the Dark Magician. Yugi hurridely slipped a card face down.
"Attack with White Lightning!" the Copy Kaiba commanded. The huge
dragon's mouth opened and a blue beam shot out.
"Blue? Isn't it supposed to be white?" Tristan wondered.
Téa, instead of smacking him, just shrugged. "You have a point..."
Just before the attack hit, it stopped and bounced back at the
Dragon, tearing into it. A mirror was protecting the Dark Magician. The
attack bounced back into the legendary card, destroying it.
"NO!" Kaiba's 'ghost' shouted defiantly. "My Blue Eyelids Wit
Dragon-and-on!"
"You're a doppleganger!" Yugi pointed at the man dueling him. "No
human can screw up words that bad when he's mad!"
"Dangit!" Kaiba shouted, and tore off the cloak. Underneath was a
fat, really fat, I mean REALLY fat man... Or pig. One of the two.
"Oink" the Doppleganger snorted. It was a demon pig.
"A demon pig?" Téa sighed. "What will they think up next?"
"You don't wanna know" Tristan warned.
"Very true" Bakura said, stepping up behind them. Téa freaked and
slapped him. He flew back into the bushes, before anybody could see that it
was him.
"Who was that?" Mokuba asked. The guard increased his grip, making
the kid shout out. "THAT HURTS! LEMME GO, YOU"
I'm not going to list what he said, but let's just say a kid that
young shouldn't have that kind of vocabulary.
Yugi stood, stunned for a moment. "Err... Um... Make your move, I
guess..."
"Alright!" The doppleganger smiled. "Go, Blue Eyes Number Two!"
Another huge dragon ripped through the ground. Yugi quickly played
another card, hoping to trick the Doppleganger into attacking.
"Attack again!" Doppleganger smiled, as he ordered the attack. Yugi
flipped up the Magical Silk Hats.
The Dark Magician dissapeared underneath a quadruplet of hats. The
blue magic attack stopped cold.
"Attack right, you destroy the Dark Magician..." Yugi taunted.
"Attack wrong, and you're in for a surprise!"
The blue beam seemed to look around, tilting to aim at each of the
purple hats in turn. "DO SOMETHING!" Doppleganger cried. The beam did. It
turned around and shot right back into the mouth of the Blue Eyed Dragon,
detonating it.
"What the?" Doppleganger shouted defiantly. "T-T-Thart's
Umposdible! Umstinkable! Undelievdable!"
"I know..." Téa sighed. For once, she agreed with the bad guys. It
was whatever he said, although she was unsure of what he had said.
"Phat's crot poskiddle!" the Doppleganger stuttered, making no sense
at all.
"I hear ya' loud and clear!" A deep, yet hazy voice said from behind
Tristan, Téa, and the unconcious Joey. "I know exactly whatz yur saying!"
Behind them stood Bandit Keith, a rugged, biker-looking american who
had a serious drug problem.
"Exactly what yur saying..." He swaggered over, then took note of
Téa. "Hey, purdy la.." he hiccuped, "lady. Wanna dance?"
"I'm not a lady!" Tristan screamed, clobering Bandit Keith in the...
Well... Vulneurable Parts. The man squirmed and walked away.
"I didn't realize he was talking to you..." Téa muttered.
"Go, BLUE EYES!" Doppleganger shouted out, placing the last Blue
Eyes onto the field. His Life Points were nearly all gone.
"Attack!" Doppleganger demanded, but the Blue Eyes suddenly started
to melt.
"Melt?" Yugi wondered. "A melting Blue Eyes? Sure, I've been lucky
before, but THIS tops it all!"
In fact, the ATK of the Blue Eyes was running wet and running off.
Numbers floated in a blue pool at the hazy dragon's feet.
"ATTACK, DARK MAGICIAN!" Yugi shouted out.
"GO, DORK MAGICIAN!" Kaiba shouted out, happy that his virus had
worked.
"RUN, BLUE EYES!" Doppleganger tried to command, but it was too
late. With a wave of his wand, the Dragon turned into a pile of sludge and
dissapeared.
"No!" Doppleganger shouted.
"Time to return to the Shadow Realm!" Yugi commanded, raising his
palm to the Doppleganger.
"PLEASE DON'T!" he begged. "I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING!"
"You're going back!" Yami Yugi's harsh voice shot.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Doppleganger tried to extend his voice
as long as possible.
"Fine..." Yugi sighed, turning back to normal. "Tell Mister Pegasus
that we're coming for him!"
"Will do!" Doppleganger smiled, running away quickly. A small white
letter floated down behind him.
"Huh?" Joey slowly woke up and felt the letter in his hands. "Hmm..
Mokuba's at the Castle... I wonder what THAT'S all about..."
Téa took the first good swing at him since the start of the chapter,
knocking him back unconcious.
A Yu-Gi-Oh! Spoof
By Zelloss
Episode 9 - Dark Magic vs. Dragon God
"Alright, we're here!" Yugi shouted out. "So where's Mokuba?"
Kimo turned from behind a nearby dueling stadium; in his hand, the
young Mokuba Kaiba squirmed.
"Alright, Kimo!" Yugi challenged. "I'm challenging you to a duel!"
Kimo smiled, despite the kicks from Mokuba. "I'm not the one you'll
be dueling!"
Yugi looked shocked, and so did the group. Kimo's finger stretched
towards the top of the stadium.
Everybody turned to see a familiar shadow at the top of the stadium.
"Kaiba?" Yugi demanded.
"Good afternoon, Yugi" said Kaiba's deep voice.
"I'm afraid Kaiba met with an unfortunate end earlier today" Kimo
spoke with a tinge of sadness. "Of course, he's got a vengeful spirit, one
that comes back to defeat you, Yugi Moto!"
Mokuba stopped kicking as he said that. He fearfully looked at the
man on top of the stadium. His own older brother, Seto Kaiba. No, it
couldn't be!
"You're not my brother!" Mokuba shouted out in protest.
Yugi quickly stepped onto the dueling platform as it rose up,
becoming Yami Yugi as he did.
"Kaiba?" Joey spoke, stunned. "Wait a second... who was he again?"
Téa wanted to smack him, but Tristan got in her way and took the
blow. Téa's lips turned up into an evil smirk.
Meanwhile, somewhere inside the island...
"Let's find Yugi Moto!" Kaiba spoke.
"How can we find him?" the computer program asked. "Especially if
Pegasus has locked all data on him..."
Kaiba stopped in thought for a moment. "Pegasus hasn't locked all
data, trust me! We'll find him, but how?"
Back on the surface, Yugi's duel had already begun. Kaiba took the
first turn.
"Go, Hitatsu-Mi Giant!" Kaiba called, playing a card. A rather
tall, one-eyed giant appeared.
Yugi stopped. That was exactly how they had begun their first duel!
He knew exactly how to counter it.
"Go, Gaia, the Fierce Knight!" Yugi commanded, sending Gaia forth at
the instant he appeared. Gaia ran towards the Hitatsu-Mi Giant...
There was a stabbing sound, a tiny squeak, and the Hitatsu-Mi Giant
turned into a mouse, then dissapeared.
Yugi and Kaiba stared eye-to-eye, totally confused. "A mouse?"
Just for explanitory purposes, we'd best go to Pegasus' Castle...
"It appears we have a bug in the system..." Kimo began to tell the
head of Industrial Illusions.
"No, we have a mouse in the system..." Pegasus cursed. "It seems as
though the REAL Kaiba is online..."
"What does one have to do with the other?" Kimo wondered aloud.
Pegasus just shrugged.
"Just made sense..." Pegasus breathed deep. "You have no sense of
humor, Kimo..."
"But I do, sir!" Kimo popped on a clown's mask. Pegasus took one
look, then screamed his head off and jumped behind his chair.
"NEVER WEAR A CLOWN MASK IN MY PRESENCE!" Pegasus demanded.
"YIPES!" Kimo shouted, jumping away and tearing off the mask. "I
thought you liked clowns? You certainly like toon mon..."
"THAT'S THE SECRET PLAN!" Pegasus continued to shout. "YOU CAN'T
SAY THAT!"
"Err..." Kimo paused. "Umm... Sorry."
"Better, Kimo!" Pegasus smiled. "Now then, let's bring up the duel
with Yugi and our little friend, the Doppleganger!"
Well, as he said, let's bring up the duel with Yugi and our little
friend, the Doppleganger... Hold it! He's not our friend...
"Go, Saagi the Dark Clown!" the copy Kaiba grinned, playing the
nible little magic beast in defense mode.
Pegasus' scream was heard all over the island.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Tristan plugged his ears.
"I don't know..." Téa moaned.
"Go Yugi!" Joey shouted up, before the full force of Pegasus' scream
hit him. He fell over backwards, stunned. Even Saagi and Gaia fainted from
the force of the sound. Both monsters dissapeared.
"Holy..." Yugi whispered, "That's quite the blast..."
"You like it?" Kaiba grinned, "It's something Master Pegasus does
lots..."
"You're not Kaiba!" Mokuba shouted. "Kaiba never calls Pegasus
'Master', he only calls him..."
"Let's get that Squealing bastard..." Kaiba growled, as a map of the
Duelist Kingdom popped up on screen. "Search for any place the card 'Dark
Magician' is in play..."
"Alright, Kaiba, but I don't see why you'd look for a card like
that, to be honest with you..." the feminine computer program responded. A
small panel opened in the side wall and a tray of food came out on a metal
arm.
"Oh yes, and your food is ready..." the computer added, as an
afterthought.
Kaiba's eyes went big and starry as he looked over the small tray.
"MISTER POCKY!" he shouted, grabbing a small box of candies. He
greedily dumped them into his mouth.
"Nnyfng?" Kaiba asked through a mouthfull of Mister Pocky.
"I'm sorry, what?" the computer asked.
"NnyfngbowtheDorkMgicin?" Kaiba swallowed down some of the box-full
of his favorite snack.
"WHAT?" the computer demanded.
"You're a computer. This is a lot of years in the future, you're
supposed to understand EVERYTHING" Kaiba sighed.
"Sorry, but there's no card on any field named the Dork Magician..."
the computer responded.
"Dark, not Dork!" Kaiba corrected. His mind wandered to an image of
the Dark Magician with pocket protectors, big plastic glasses, and wielding
a keyboard instead of a staff. He shuddered.
"Keep looking," Kaiba encouraged the system, "Yugi's bound to play
it sometime..."
Alright. I'd say we've seen enough of Pegasus and Kaiba. We've
certainly heard enough of Pegasus. So let's watch Yugi for a bit.
"Go, Dark Magician!" Yugi smiled, playing the magician. Thankfully,
it was without a keyboard, pocket protectors, and glasses.
Kaiba grinned. "Go, Blue Eyes White Dragon!"
A huge monsterous dragon tore from the ground. It glared hard at
the Dark Magician. Yugi hurridely slipped a card face down.
"Attack with White Lightning!" the Copy Kaiba commanded. The huge
dragon's mouth opened and a blue beam shot out.
"Blue? Isn't it supposed to be white?" Tristan wondered.
Téa, instead of smacking him, just shrugged. "You have a point..."
Just before the attack hit, it stopped and bounced back at the
Dragon, tearing into it. A mirror was protecting the Dark Magician. The
attack bounced back into the legendary card, destroying it.
"NO!" Kaiba's 'ghost' shouted defiantly. "My Blue Eyelids Wit
Dragon-and-on!"
"You're a doppleganger!" Yugi pointed at the man dueling him. "No
human can screw up words that bad when he's mad!"
"Dangit!" Kaiba shouted, and tore off the cloak. Underneath was a
fat, really fat, I mean REALLY fat man... Or pig. One of the two.
"Oink" the Doppleganger snorted. It was a demon pig.
"A demon pig?" Téa sighed. "What will they think up next?"
"You don't wanna know" Tristan warned.
"Very true" Bakura said, stepping up behind them. Téa freaked and
slapped him. He flew back into the bushes, before anybody could see that it
was him.
"Who was that?" Mokuba asked. The guard increased his grip, making
the kid shout out. "THAT HURTS! LEMME GO, YOU"
I'm not going to list what he said, but let's just say a kid that
young shouldn't have that kind of vocabulary.
Yugi stood, stunned for a moment. "Err... Um... Make your move, I
guess..."
"Alright!" The doppleganger smiled. "Go, Blue Eyes Number Two!"
Another huge dragon ripped through the ground. Yugi quickly played
another card, hoping to trick the Doppleganger into attacking.
"Attack again!" Doppleganger smiled, as he ordered the attack. Yugi
flipped up the Magical Silk Hats.
The Dark Magician dissapeared underneath a quadruplet of hats. The
blue magic attack stopped cold.
"Attack right, you destroy the Dark Magician..." Yugi taunted.
"Attack wrong, and you're in for a surprise!"
The blue beam seemed to look around, tilting to aim at each of the
purple hats in turn. "DO SOMETHING!" Doppleganger cried. The beam did. It
turned around and shot right back into the mouth of the Blue Eyed Dragon,
detonating it.
"What the?" Doppleganger shouted defiantly. "T-T-Thart's
Umposdible! Umstinkable! Undelievdable!"
"I know..." Téa sighed. For once, she agreed with the bad guys. It
was whatever he said, although she was unsure of what he had said.
"Phat's crot poskiddle!" the Doppleganger stuttered, making no sense
at all.
"I hear ya' loud and clear!" A deep, yet hazy voice said from behind
Tristan, Téa, and the unconcious Joey. "I know exactly whatz yur saying!"
Behind them stood Bandit Keith, a rugged, biker-looking american who
had a serious drug problem.
"Exactly what yur saying..." He swaggered over, then took note of
Téa. "Hey, purdy la.." he hiccuped, "lady. Wanna dance?"
"I'm not a lady!" Tristan screamed, clobering Bandit Keith in the...
Well... Vulneurable Parts. The man squirmed and walked away.
"I didn't realize he was talking to you..." Téa muttered.
"Go, BLUE EYES!" Doppleganger shouted out, placing the last Blue
Eyes onto the field. His Life Points were nearly all gone.
"Attack!" Doppleganger demanded, but the Blue Eyes suddenly started
to melt.
"Melt?" Yugi wondered. "A melting Blue Eyes? Sure, I've been lucky
before, but THIS tops it all!"
In fact, the ATK of the Blue Eyes was running wet and running off.
Numbers floated in a blue pool at the hazy dragon's feet.
"ATTACK, DARK MAGICIAN!" Yugi shouted out.
"GO, DORK MAGICIAN!" Kaiba shouted out, happy that his virus had
worked.
"RUN, BLUE EYES!" Doppleganger tried to command, but it was too
late. With a wave of his wand, the Dragon turned into a pile of sludge and
dissapeared.
"No!" Doppleganger shouted.
"Time to return to the Shadow Realm!" Yugi commanded, raising his
palm to the Doppleganger.
"PLEASE DON'T!" he begged. "I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING!"
"You're going back!" Yami Yugi's harsh voice shot.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Doppleganger tried to extend his voice
as long as possible.
"Fine..." Yugi sighed, turning back to normal. "Tell Mister Pegasus
that we're coming for him!"
"Will do!" Doppleganger smiled, running away quickly. A small white
letter floated down behind him.
"Huh?" Joey slowly woke up and felt the letter in his hands. "Hmm..
Mokuba's at the Castle... I wonder what THAT'S all about..."
Téa took the first good swing at him since the start of the chapter,
knocking him back unconcious.