Some Challenge Fic
Hi Everyone! It's me, the insane Tiger Lily! I have really bad writers block for a Twist in Time, so I decided to write a humor fic! This is a response to Nagini's 10th challenge, I hope you all enjoy! *dryly* I'm sure they'll love it. Always optimistic, aren't you, Cassopia? Yup. Thought so.
Disclaimer-(I hate this part! We all do, Venus, We all do.) Hm, the challenge belongs to Nagini, I own the plot, myself, and my muses (We own ourselves! Sure.) JK owns the characters and Hogwarts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Setting- My bedroom!*
Me- *holds up a bottle of vodka* Who wants to slip this into Hermione's drink at my party tonight?
Cho- I do, I do! I never liked that little mudblood…But first, Can I have a banana?
Me- No. No bananas for you!
Cho- *whines* Please?
Me- You can have one after we make Hermione drunk out of her mind! *evil laugh*
Cho- Right! *evil laugh*
Me- Why are you laughing?
Cho- Because this is the perfect plan to intoxicate Granger so we can kill her?
Me- *slaps Cho* You Moron! Hermione is cool, I just want to play a little joke! *groans* Why I ever enlisted YOUR help, I will never know…
Cho- That hurt…
Me- No duh, I wanted it to.
Cho- Your so mean! *runs off to another room in my house, crying*
Me- Why thank you. *evil grin* Anyhoozle, Snape and Malfoy are coming to my part too, because I seduced them into it. Remmy, Sirius, James, and Lily (A/N- They're alive cuz I want them to be :-P) we are going to play a little joke.
Sirius- *mutters* stupid author. Can't believe she's making me do this crap, what if I don't wanna play a joke on Snape and Malfoy…
Me- *sweetly* What was that, Sirius?
Sirius- *fearing my wrath(A/N- what a smart thing to do…)* N-Nothing…
Me- *fingers wand* That's good, because if you did have something to say, and I decided I thought you were not being very nice, let us say the results would not be pleasant for you, Mr. Black.
Sirius- *nods* Yes ma'am!
Me- *pacing like a drill instructor* Right then. James and Remus, you know your posts, correct?
James and Remus- Ma'am, yes ma'am!
Me- Good, good. Sirius and Lily, you two, however do not. Sirius, you be slipping the drug into Snape and Malfoy's drinks. Lily- Hm, I don't have a job for you. Go with Sirius.
Lily- But I wanna go with James!
Me- You do? *Lily nods* *yells* TOO BAD!
Lily- *pouts*
Sirius- *sticks tongue out at James* Haha, I got the girl!
Me- *Bops Sirius over the head with a purse* Keep that inside your mouth or point it at Pettigrew or Weasly! Or maybe Cho… I hate her….
Sirius- Yes Ma'am! *mutters* She's s so mean, she never lets us have a choice… Maybe I don't WANT to be with Lily….
Me- *bops him again* Is this a drill academy or not!? Potter?
James- *too busy kissing Lily to answer*
Me- *bops James who stops mid-kiss* Ouch!
Sirius- *looks hurt* I thought getting bopped was reserved for me!
Me- You thought wrong then, didn't you?
Sirius- *pouts*
Remus- This isn't a drill academy!
Me- It's not?
Remus- No…
Me- Oh well, you're in it, so I guess it doesn't matter. *bats eyelashes at Remus who backs away*
Remus- Stay away!
Me- *stops trying to seduce him* Alright, you lot are free to go, send the next group in.
The Marauders- Ok! *leave*
Me- *waiting* dum dee dum…. *yells* WHERE IS DUMBLEDORE!?
*in the chamber of secrets*
Dumbledore- This illegal games of poker sure is fun, huh Tom?
16 year old Ton Riddle- Yup! *lays down cards* Whoo Hoo, I win! Hand over the socks Dumbledore!
Dumbledore- *whines* But these are my favorite pair! I didn't bet these ones!
Tom- Tough! Cough em' up!
Dumbledore- I don't wanna! *looks up into Tom's glare* Oh fine! *puts a pair of green and orange striped socks on the table. They have little red hearts on them*
Tom- *does a dance* Yay! I win the socks! I win the pool of socks! Yay for me!
Dumbledore- *pouts*