HARD DAY'S WORK
By Oregano
INT. STORE – DAY
LUKE DANES is carrying a plastic blue basket, looking around in the canned food
aisle. At least that's what it looks like. We come closer and we see that
Luke is suspiciously looking around.
As he progresses down the aisle, a GIRL suddenly comes up behind him.
GIRL
Hey, there! Can I help you with anything?
Luke whips his head around. We see that the girl is wearing a telling blue vest.
Luke is in Wal-Mart.
LUKE
(distracted)
What? Oh. No, thanks.
He picks a can off the shelf and studies it. The girl is about to walk
away, when:
LUKE
Actually…
The girl turns back around with a wide smile.
GIRL
Yes?
LUKE
Would you happen to know someone named Jess Mariano?
Luke's face prunes up as he sees the girl blush.
GIRL
Oh, Jess? Yeah! He's at the cashier today. Do you know him?
LUKE
(deadpan and slightly disgusted)
Yeah. I'm his uncle.
INT. WAL-MART (FORMERLY "STORE") – CASHIER – DAY
JESS MARIANO puts groceries in a bag and hand a CUSTOMER some change. He
looks down at his watch and yawns.
JESS
(bored)
Thank you. Come again.
GIRL #2 (OC)
Now, now, Jess…
Jess hears her voice and rolls her eyes. He looks up.
GIRL #2
What have I told you about our ten-foot rule?
JESS
All employees must be at least ten feet away from each other as not to claw each
others eyes out?
The girl shakes her head at Jess, but a smile plays at her lips.
GIRL #2
Oh, Jess.
She exits. Jess makes an annoyed clawing action with his hands to her OC.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER comes up with a basket. He takes the things in the basket
out and onto the counter.
LUKE (OC)
Looks like someone's in looove with you.
Luke enters the scene.
LUKE
I thought you worked out back with the forklift.
Jess quickly looks up to find Luke looking back at him with an amused grin.
JESS
(sighs)
Goddamn promotion. What are you doing here?
LUKE
Friendly.
JESS
Why are you here, Luke?
LUKE
I couldn't help myself from seeing my nephew be the epitome of the working
class.
JESS
You are the epitome of all evil.
LUKE
I know. Yet sadly, I don't give a damn.
Luke starts to chuckle. Jess rolls his eyes in exasperation.
JESS
Will you quit heckling me?
Luke laughs louder.
JESS (cont'd)
Well, now we know who's not getting discount.
Luke hoots. He is now leaning on the cash register, laughing his head off.
JESS (cont'd)
You're not being a very good adult here.
(beat)
You're gonna get me fired when I actually hit you in the face with this
magazine.
Jess points to Home-Made Cookies For The Holidays. Luke falls to
the floor, dying of laughter.
INT. LUKE'S DINER – NIGHT (LATER)
Jess comes down from the apartment opening with a scowl. He sees Luke and scowls
even more.
JESS
I hate you.
LUKE
(not looking up from order pad)
Don't keep Sandy Helperton out too late. Gee, Dick, are you going to take
her to the prom? Golly-gee-whiz, Dick!
JESS
You're still on that? Can it, it's getting old.
The door JINGLES OC and LORELAI and RORY GILMORE enter.
LORELAI
Hi.
Luke and Jess turn to look at the new customers.
RORY
(to Jess)
Hey.
LUKE
Hey, Lorelai, wanna hear something that'll make you scream with laughter?
LORELAI
Always.
LUKE
(off Jess)
Rebel without a cause here's the, "Hidy-ho, neighbor" of Wal-Mart!
Lorelai looks at Jess and cracks a grin.
Rory holds back a chuckle and
ends up snorting.
Jess glares at them all.
JESS
(to Rory)
Attractive.
Loreali lets out a choked laugh.
JESS (con't)
Fine. Yuck it up, evil townsfolk.
Luke, Lorelai and Rory burst out laughing.
LUKE
(to Lorelai)
What'd I tell you? This is a riot!
JESS
It's not funny!
LORELAI
Stop it, I can't breathe!
RORY
Can I see your little blue uniform?
They laugh harder.
JESS
That's it! I'm quitting first thing tomorrow!
LUKE
Why? Does Sears have an opening?