HARD DAY'S WORK
By Oregano

INT. INDEPENDENCE INN – DAY
Lorelai and Michel stand in a room uncomfortably while the THREE MEN poke around it.

MICHEL
Kill me now.

LORELAI
I would, but who would kill me next?

One of the men walks over to them.

MAN #1
(snooty)
I see that the pillows are well fluffed.

MAN #2 appears beside him.

MAN #2
(snootier)
I see the tables are well cleaned.

MAN #3 sneaks up behind Lorelai, startling her.

MAN #3
(snootiest)
The bed is well washed.

LORELAI
Well, that's what we strive for: fluffy pillows, shiny tables and fragrant non-motel-smelling beds.

MICHEL
So, you have scoured our whole Inn, kept us from assisting others-- not that I mind that-- just to give us an update on the cleanliness of our rooms, which we already know.

LORELAI
(to Michel)
Michel, if you shut up now, I will give you a three-day vacation.

MICHEL
They are rude.
(beat)
Do I still get paid?

LORELAI
Yes, they are the only ones in the world to ever be rude, huh? Ugh. And yes, you get paid.

MICHEL
(turns to THREE MEN)
Where else may I show you to assure you of the strict standards that we meet?

LORELAI
Not only meet, but exceed, right, Michel?

Michel smiles.

MICHEL
Oh, yes.

MAN #2
Well, could you show us to the kitchen? This event is very important. Many are allergic to many foods…

LORELAI
I assure you that we have the best cook in our service. She's like the Spielberg of the Culinary Arts. And her blueberry pancakes? Just like ET.

The three men smile politely, clearly not getting the comment. They exit.

Michel rolls his eyes and makes stabbing gestures to their backs.

Lorelai pretends to jab her pen at her eye.

INT. KIM'S RESIDENCE – DAY
Mrs. Kim, Lane and Dave are all still sitting in the living room in thick silence.

MRS. KIM
(suddenly)
Why do you want to date my daughter?

LANE
Momma!

MRS. KIM
What? I need to know his intentions!

Dave sees the imminent fight between mother and daughter and decides to cut in.

DAVE
I assure you, Mrs. Kim, I have the noblest intentions for dating your daughter.

MRS. KIM
(suspicious)
Why?

DAVE
(chuckles)
Why?

Dave sees that Mrs. Kim is serious and quickly shuts up.

MRS. KIM
So, you think this is funny? Me letting my daughter go to some musician with no real aspirations in life?

DAVE
(fed up)
Do you know why, Mrs. Kim? Because I like Lane. A lot. She's funny, she's talented, and she's smart. And you know what? I really don't care what you think anymore at this moment, because I know that she likes me, too.

LANE
Dave…

DAVE
No, Lane, your mom shouldn't do this to you.

MRS. KIM
Lane. I want to talk to you. In the kitchen.

Lane glances at Dave quickly and follows her mother to the kitchen.

INT. KIM RESIDENCE (KITCHEN)
Mrs. Kim and Lane enter.

MRS. KIM
I don't like that boy.

LANE
But, Momma…

MRS. KIM
He's disrespectful, he answers back to me, and he wants to become a musician. No.

LANE
Momma, just give him a chance…

MRS. KIM
I already did.

LANE
Why do you do this, Momma?

Mrs. Kim looks at her daughter, incredulous.

MRS. KIM
See? He teaches you to answer back to me now.

In the background, unbeknownst to the two, Dave peers in and listens.

LANE
He didn't teach me to answer back to you. I'm just sick of this.

MRS. KIM
What? What are you so sick of, Lane?

LANE
THIS! God, Momma! Don't you see how hard he's trying to impress you? He's the first boy I've seriously liked for a long time, and for once, he likes me back! I've been trying to be straight with you on this- no more hiding, no more secret plans, for once, I've invited him over so you can meet him! That's how much I care about him!

Lane stops. She takes a moment to calm down.

LANE (cont'd)
He isn't being disrespectful to you on purpose, Momma.
(beat)
He's just worried about me.

Dave disappears from behind the door.


INT. KIM RESIDENCE (FRONT DOOR)
Dave sighs and closes his eyes, as their voices travel towards him OC.

MRS. KIM (OC)
I don't want that boy for you, Lane.

LANE (OC)
Well, what boy is for me? What is so wrong with Dave?

MRS. KIM (OC)
He's too American!

This hurts Dave. He suddenly opens his eyes and sadly reaches for the door. As he opens it, we hear more fighting.

LANE (OC)
What does that have to do with anything?

MRS. KIM (OC)
I want a boy who knows how to treat you right. I him to court you. I want him to send you flowers, to give you nice things, I want to know that he really cares about you. If he makes that effort, rather than just suddenly kiss you without your consent, I will know that he is serious about you.

With this, Dave exits quickly.


INT. KIM RESIDENCE (KITCHEN)
Lane falters and Mrs. Kim glares at her. We follow them as they go back into the living room.

Dave is gone.

Lane looks back at her mother sadly.

LANE
I'll be in my room.

MRS. KIM
Lane…

LANE
Not now, Momma.

Lane exits to her room.


INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT – DAY
Rory, Jess, and Luke are still sitting around the gift, just staring at it.

RORY
Tell me why we can't open this again?

LUKE
Because Jess is evil.

RORY
Oh, yeah.

They sit a while longer.

Suddenly,

JESS
I'm not… FINE.

Jess stands up and pulls the lid off the box. Luke and Rory stand excitedly.

RORY
Oooh, Christmas!

LUKE
Well, what the hell is it?

Jess stares inside the box in silence. Rory and Luke exchange glances and then cautiously peer inside.

RORY
Um…

LUKE
Well.

JESS
Huh.

LUKE
At least she cared enough to give you… that.
(beat)
What IS that?

Luke looks at Rory, confused.

Rory shrugs.

JESS
It's nothing.

Jess grabs the box and opens the closet door.

RORY
Jess…

JESS
It's nothing, alright? Leave it alone.

Jess chucks the box inside and slams the door shut.

LUKE
Jess.

JESS
I'm going outside. And Luke, you touch that box and you will seriously regret that. I'm serious here. It's not like that stupid Wal-Mart fiasco.

LUKE
O-okay.

He exits, a bit huffy.

RORY
I'll go after him, Luke.

LUKE
Okay.

As Rory exits, Luke stands in the middle of the kitchen with red wrapping paper at his feet. He sighs and picks it up.


INT. INDEPENDENCE INN – DAY
Lorelai and Michel both lean on the concierge desk, tired.

LORELAI
Never again.

MICHEL
I will go and take my vacation now.

LORELAI
I was kidding about that.

Michel's head pops up.

MICHEL
(screeching)
No. What? I need! What? What? I—

LORELAI
Oh, God, just go. You're making me dizzy.

Michel glares at Lorelai and exits.

MICHEL (OC)
I hate you, Lorelai Gilmore!