Newsie RAPS!
By a drunk Keza: Queen of Procrastination
AN: This was originally an e-mail that I wrote to Sophie (Falco). She made me post it.
SCENE: (rapper beat starts playing, the background is an obviously fake alley with styrofoam brick building that have bright graffiti all over them. in come pie-eater, a tall boy with brown hair, jeans torn and frayed at the knees, and a bright pink/green/orange florescent jacket. he has a brown newsie-style cap on sideways. behind him comes Keza, a shorter girl with long blonde hair in a side ponytail. she's wearing striped leggings and a jean jacket with random patches crudely sewn on. a gray newsie-style cap is on backwards, about to fall off due to her hair. each carries a mic and Keza wears sunglasses. the intro beat fades, and a new beat starts. our favorite 90s heroes begin some epic 'rhymes)
PIE-EATER: sup from da hood!
KEZA: OU OU! ARE YOU FEELIN IT???
(CUE IN OLD SCHOOL RAP)
PIE-EATER: Yo this is Pie! But don't get confused! You can't bake me, and I won't be abused!
KEZA: Straight up, partnah, now listen well... Pie and me, we gots a story to tell!
PIE-EATER: Deep in the suburbs, way across town, lived a scab named Spot, who was always put down!
KEZA: Sad he was, and sad he may be, this Spot boy was tough, he could stare down a tree!
PIE: But Spot was gettin' heckled, and he could barely take more - so he took up a challenge, said "Let's settle the score!"
KEZA: Led into Brooklyn, out near the docks... Past the sailors and the thugs and the cooks with smocks!
PIE: Now Spot had a cane, to help him walk - but this became a weapon, to show he wasn't just talk!
KEZA: the fight was brutal, so much blood was shed - the bulls showed up, Spot was hit in the head!
PIE: When he came to, he was down on the boards... he took over Brooklyn and IS HOT OH MY LORD!
(the up-beat rap background fades. Keza whips off her sunglasses, puts a hand on a hip, and glares at Pie-eater.)
KEZA: Pie-eatah, you wack! Now, WHAT did you just say?
PIE: No, girl, I didn't say nuttin! Can we finish da rap?
KEZA: You never told me you'se had slashy tendencies!
PIE: I don't!
KEZA: I'se seen you checkin' Spot out. Think you're cool, huh?
PIE: What're you talkin' about??? I see only you, baby!
KEZA: Promise?
PIE: Promise.
KEZA: MmmmmmmK!
(Keza puts her sunglasses back on, adjusts her hat, and the music starts again)
KEZA: So Spot ruled all, but somethin' was missin - he was so alone, with nobody he was kissin'!
PIE: Then one day, a miracle occurred - Falco came into town, and a meeting concurred!
KEZA: We says she is the one, we says she is great - we hooked her up with Spot for her first date!
PIE: Well, sparks flew, and silverware too... She became a part of the Brooklyn crew!
(the music cuts off, and Pie-eater and Keza strike a pose. they then walk off the set to exit music.)
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Brought to you by the Newsie Rap Corporation, paid for Molly's Allowance.
if you aren't on the ground laughing I haven't done my job.