File: 219378921727--2763
Subject: "Jalil Sherman"
(interview begins; tape starts)
(long silence)
Dr. Vdemitri: ... may I ask why my patient is wearing tight black leather pants, and a raver style shirt?
(sound of door opening; shuffling)
Attendant: 'orry, sir. But 'e's sufferin' from... from Leather Obsessive... something. I think, sir.
(nervous silence)
Dr. Vdemitri: And the handcuffs... are they necessary?
Attendant: Kept tryin' t'jump and fight wit' the guards, doct'r. Mighty sorry 'bout all o' this.
Dr. Vdemitri: Ah...
(muffled shout of outrage)
Dr. Vdemitri: ...and the gag?
Attendant: Ah... that. Tha's... well, sir... 'e's a bit... fiesty, 'e is.
Dr. Vdemitri: This is all fine and well, but I cannot interview my patient when he can't even speak.
Attendant: Well... erm... sir, 'e don't say nothin' import'nt anyway. Jus' "I 'ate you". 'E's not a very nice bloke. (Damn sexy, though.)
Dr. Vdemitri: Just the same, I think I'll remove it. Thank you anyway. (You wouldn't happen to be "Attendant" off of the play "Dracula", would you? Mighty fine white mouse, there.)
Attendant: As y'like, doct'r. (Thanks, it's name was Cuthbert, I think.)
(closing of door; slight pause)
Dr. Vdemitri: Well, now, let's get this off, shall we, Jalil? Yes...
(short pause)
Jalil: --MOTHERF---ING BASTARDS FROM HELL, SATAN SPAWNED PERVERTS, I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AND THEN RIP OFF YOUR DAMNED--
(muffling)
Dr. Vdemitri: We can have an interview with your gag, you know. You stay quiet and cooperate enough, I'll remove it again. Have we got a deal?
(short pause)
Dr. Vdemitri: Good, good. There you are.
Jalil: ... I hate you.
Dr. Vdemitri: That's nice.
(dark growl)
Jalil: I've been violated. They all keep leering through the door window of my room and making obscene references to wrists. Something about "delicate bone structure" and "not prime for bondage." What the hell kind of place is this, damn it?!
Dr. Vdemitri: ... I'll see what I can do about the guards, Mr. Sherman. In the meantime, if I may continue with our session...?
Jalil: I'm skinny, not delicate! Damn it!
(sound of scribbling on paper)
Dr. Vdemitri: Mm-hmm... (Patient is very delicate. Both emotionally and physically.)
Jalil: So... so what do I have to do to get out of here?
Dr. Vdemitri: Basically, denounce your experiences in Everworld as a hallucination brought on by stress and premature memory deterioration. And then we'll give you pills and send you on your way.
Jalil: ... is that all? Okay, Everworld was never real. It was some sick, twisted game we all played. Um... Senna's idea, though, stupid crazy wench.
Dr. Vdemitri: You actually have to mean it, Mr. Sherman.
Jalil: Well, you never mentioned that.
Dr. Vdemitri: It goes without saying. Now, moving on to our session, I'd like to ask you a couple questions about this Everworld universe you claim exists...
(muttering)
Jalil: "Claim exists"... jesus.
Dr. Vdemitri: Let's see. We've gathered information from two of your companions, Mr. Levin and Mr. Hitchcock, so far. And as of now, the stories coincide fantastically-- although Mr. Hitchcock seemed a tad bit more oriented on sexual gratification in his tales...
Jalil: Sounds like Christopher, yeah.
Dr. Vdemitri: He claims you made out on Sir Galahad's kitchen table.
Jalil: ... okay, that was fun. If I had to do Everworld over again, I wouldn't take out that part. We scared the poor chef half to death when he came in--
Dr. Vdemitri: So you were engaged in a serious relationship with Mr. Hitchcock during this time?
Jalil: Well, we weren't engaged yet, if that's what you mean. But serious enough.
Dr. Vdemitri: Has he ever harmed you? Gave you reason to believe he would leave you? Caused you stress?
Jalil: Hell yes on the last one.
Dr. Vdemitri: Have you considered that perhaps your hallucinations of this world may have stemmed from a desire to be a part of something larger with him?
Jalil: Uh, no? Why would April and David go along with it, if we made it up to "get closer"? (Plently close already, y'know.)
Dr. Vdemitri: It was possible.
Jalil: Nah. You just make a lousy psychologist. (I know where you live, you freak of nature.)
Dr. Vdemitri: ... well, thank you for your estimate. However, I do have a degree. Now, to continue-- you claimed this world was created by gods and mythological creatures?
Jalil: Try calling a huge ogre a "mythological creature" when it's trying to chew you.
Dr. Vdemitri: Hm. I'll keep that in mind.
(loud sigh)
Jalil: Look. There was a perfectly somewhat rational explanation for all of this. Somehow, it's all real, but there was also an explanation. We just... didn't have it. It was another world with different rules and stuff--
Dr. Vdemitri: They were hallucinations, Mr. Sherman. We believe you and your friends may be suffering from--
Jalil: Oh no, you don't. I am not crazy.
Dr. Vdemitri: I never said that...
Jalil: Damn it, I'm not crazy! Got it?! That head voice thing, the hands thing, it was all fanfare! To make me look cuter than I was! Damn it, I'm not insane!
Dr. Vdemitri: Yes, well I'm putting you on some sedative medication until we can properly diagnose you. Your delicate condition--
("thud" sound, scuffling and smacking ensues)
(yelling in background)
Dr. Vdemitri: ATTENDANT! Att-GACK!
Jalil: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PUT MR. PRECIOUS?!?!
(door opens, more scuffling)
Attendent: There ya go, sir, 'e's jus' riled up... c'mon now, Jalil... this is why 'e 'ad 'andcuffs, sir...
(muffled yelling, door slams shut)
Dr. Vdemitri: ... well then.
(clears throat)
Dr. Vdemitri: I'm going to have bruises for a week... bloody bony elbows...
(tape abruptly cut off; session ends)
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... well then! Hee hee. ^^;; I told ya it would be out.
Anyway-- Absence of the Heart should be uploaded next... ::mumbling to self:: Gaaaah. I have so much to get done! Oh well. Thanks for the encouragement, guys. ::hugs!:: You're all the greatest! So patient with my lazy, procrastinating ways... heh...
Next up-- April. And her psycho-sister-hatred thing. Ooohh, bunnies.
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