Thanks to Air Wolf, Momo Claus, and
Danel for letting me use you here.
All Colin and Ryan could do was just
stare. Unbelievable. Sure it had been funny the first time and Lenalaye had sent them hundreds of thanks-yous.
Apparently in whatever screwed up place they came from, the whole fiasco had
been a riot. Over there it was a game: how badly could you mess with a mortal
and make it funny. Their ordeal had been hilarious.
But what made her think that she was
going to be funny twice? Wouldn't making a sequel be over doing it? Somehow in
Lenalaye's twisted thought process, that didn't register. They would have to be
their marionettes again. Subjected to the strange and humorous.
The commercial ended and the camera
zoomed in the fake Drew Carey.
"Well hello and we're back! Now if
you've never seen this show before what happens is these guys here will
participate in sporadic games in which they had no foreknowledge of. The point
is that since they have no previous material to go on, they must make it up
themselves. I award them points. The points are useless. Like geometry to me!"
Ryan shook his head.
"Whoever is playing Drew did not do
their homework."
"Yeah. He sounds too intelligent and
learned for the real Drew."
"And geometry! Must be some other
stupid teen."
"Well there's one thing they got right
in the imitation."
"What's that?"
"They weren't funny." Colin and Ryan
laughed at this. Good ole Drew bashing. It was nervous laughter though, which
died down immediately.
"So now it's time for our first
game--- "
"FRAUD!! FAKE!!!" the TV Drew was
interrupted by the yell. The camera swung around and in stormed,
"Figures. Drew was never smart enough
to stay away. He always has to defend his fame." The real Drew, dressed casual
in jeans and a T-shirt marched in. The other Drew stretched a mile long smile
and tapped his card. The real Drew approached the desk in a furious flurry.
"Listen," he growled "I don't know who
the hell you are, but if you think you're going to steal my show…I have my
lawyers this time…." The Drew at the desk's smile broadened further.
"Lawyers? Funny, I don't see any
lawyers…"
"They're right--- " The real Drew
turned around and his jaw dropped. The camera showed three teenagers, grinning
mischievously.
"What the--- " the real Drew gaped.
"We are everywhere Drew." The Drew at
the desk said. Then with a stare so terrible he faced the camera directly.
"And Colin and Ryan, I think you
should be too…" Colin and Ryan had only a second to tense before they found
themselves in a totally different place.
"Huh?"
"How in the---"
"Je-sus!"
"Ohhhh…."
"Huh? Waaa? Oh no…"
"Oh boy…." Six voices elicited some
utterance of confusion. All of them were there: Greg Proops, Wayne Brady, Chip
Esten, Brad Sherwood and of course Colin and Ryan. They joined Drew in gaping
at the set. The three lawyers-turned-teens walked to encircled them. One a boy
and two girls. One of them looked awfully familiar…
"Remember me?" she said. Then they all
uniformed their glances and directed it towards the desk. The cast followed
their look and no Drew Carey sat in that chair.
With a slender hand and dangerous
smile of her own, Lenalaye tapped a card. With every tap, the cast jumped a few
inches.
She laid the card to rest and got up
slowly. She made the group of teens four and her glance wavered. Wavered until
she couldn't hold it any longer.
"Ahahahhahaaaaaa! Heheheheheeoooooo!"
she burst into hysterical laughter. After a few minutes she grabbed the
shoulder of the nearby girl and heaved a few more laughs. She snorted and then
composed herself.
"I'm heheheee! I am….oh geez! I'm
sorry I can't stand…ahahhaa! I can't stand looking at people straight like
that! Oh my…" she giggled some more. The cast exchanged worried looks. Chip
Esten was bewildered beyond normal, not having any immunity against this
strangeness. Immunity that the rest of the cast had managed to purchase on the
last show.
Greg balled his hand into a fist and
stepped forward.
"Okay what the hell do you want us
for?" Lenalaye smiled mildly.
"Huh? Oh yes. Well I thought we'd have
more fun." Without letting Greg say anything, she continued
"I must introduce you to my friends!"
She moved the girl next to her.
"This here is Air Wolf. She's loves
explosions and battle and stuff. The occult and weird. Not to mention funny!"
She then moved to the familiar girl.
"I present you Momo Claus. Loves
Lifehouse, you guys, and In a Heart
Beat. Prolific writer as well."
"Snork!" Momo replied. Lenalaye then
moved onto the guy.
"Finally, Danel. He's British, likes
you guys and Hitchhiker's Guide. Good with parody." Greg's lip trembled.
"There's more of you?" Air Wolf sighed
and rolled her eyes.
"If you didn't hear it before, here it
is again: WE are EVERYWHERE."
"This is getting nuts! I'm calling somebody!"
Chip panicked and tore off into the audience.
"Does anybody have a cell phone?
C'mon! Someone needs to arrest these people! Hello! Am I the only one here who
noticed everything is out of whack?" Chip darted through the rows and swept a
cursory glance over the audience. A tap on the shoulder brought him face to
face with Danel.
"Uh hullo? We're everywhere." Danel
spread his hands to encompass the audience. Chip's eyes scanned the members and
then realized them for what they were. Some were young teens, old teens, young adults even. From eight to eighteen
they rose in silent testimony. All with those damned prankish grins of
theirs. The mark of a fanfic writer.
Chip stumbled down the steps and back
with his group. They all diverted their appalled stares to Lenalaye.
With an impish smile she went to sit
in the chair. Air Wolf, Momo Claus and Danel took their places in the front
row.
A sly smile and she announced it with all the sentiment of a
death sentence,
"Now the real fun begins."
*************************************************************
It won't continue in this serious style! I promise! Just go to the next chapter and you'll see what I mean….