Chapter 2
The first place they looked for Spike was his crypt, and they weren't disappointed. He sat on the tomb, his legs dangling off the side. There was a look of deep concentration on his face, he seemed completely absorbed in his thoughts. Giles realized with a start that he looked just like Buffy did before she went to bed.
"Spike?"
"What the matter Giles?"
"With who?"
"With both of us."
Giles advanced slowly, cautiously he held up a cross.
"Why aren't I dead? I was supposed to die, and everything was supposed to ok for my girls. What happened?"
Giles sighed, "I really don't know Spike."
Spike looked at the watcher, his face stricken. "Why did I want to bite her?"
"When did you want to bite her?" Giles was questioning the vampire closely because he doubted they had much time. He needed to get as much information as possible.
Spike shook his head, "Both times I woke up. It was like the demon was in complete control. I couldn't think of anything else except draining her. You know what stopped me?"
"What?"
"The claim."
Giles frowned, "You mean the demon really was in complete control the entire time?"
"Yes."
He backed away slowly.
"Stop Watcher. I'm not going to hurt you, or anybody else. Whatever was going on is over now."
"Spike, I think I know why you couldn't control yourself."
Spike braced himself for what was to come next. 'You don't really love her.' Or 'You'll never be anything but an animal.' Or something equally wrong. He was surprised when he heard none of those things.
"It was Lilith."
Spike frowned, "Maybe the first time, but what about when we got home?"
"Lilith is."
"Lilith is what?"
"Lilith is in Buffy."
Spike gaped. "What?"
"After you passed out, the demon turned to mist and completely enveloped her, and then entered her."
"So you're saying that anytime I get close to her my demon will take control?"
Giles nodded.
"And what about her? As she turned into the Vampire Queen?"
"It would appear not. She seems to have complete control, but amazing, unbelievable strength. I have never seen anything fight like her before."
"Watcher. I need to get some sleep." Spike's voice was hoarse. Did Giles see a tear in one of the vampire's clear blue eyes?
"Of course. One of us will come by tomorrow to update you on the situation. In the meantime, perhaps it would be best if you stayed away from the house."
Spike waved him off impatiently, then jumped off the tomb and went downstairs. He heard Giles leave as he slumped onto the bed, shaking.
Until they figured out what was going on, Spike would have to stay away from Buffy. A horrible thought occurred to Spike, what if this was what she was meant to become? The ultimate Slayer, unstoppable and unbreakable? Unable to be with the vampire who loved her.
Spike sighed. This was much, much worse than being dead. He would rather have died instantly than experience the torture of being unable to be in her glorious, golden presence.
***
Buffy couldn't sleep. She was tired. More exhausted than she could remember being in a very long time. But she was cold, and she was lonely, and worried about Spike. Giles had returned within an hour of leaving and ducked his head into her room.
"Buffy? Spike is fine. He's in his crypt."
"What happened?"
"I'll explain tomorrow. Try to get some rest."
She had been preparing for this night for awhile. She thought she was ready to live without Spike. She thought she would be ready to fact the world without him beside her, fighting for her, fighting for all of them. But there was no way she could have foreseen this.
She didn't need Giles to explain what was going on. It took her some time to figure it out, but she knew what was going on. She was never the brightest girl in her class, but she wasn't stupid either.
Lilith was driving Spike away. As long as this demon was in her body, she couldn't be with him. She understood that one way around that would be for Spike to get his soul back. But there is no way he could withstand countless thousands of people staking him, burning him, bruising him, tormenting him.
And it's not like he could just get another one. Giles had been very specific about what made Spike so special. He had William's soul. A random soul would do him no good.
The only thing she didn't understand is why Spike spared her not once, but twice. Did it have something to do with the claim? Nothing else made sense. Buffy was rather amazed that it was strong enough to override Spike's most basic instinct. Spike had told her himself that nothing is as amazing, as potent, as Slayer's blood. Yet he managed to resist.
Buffy's mind flashed to what happened just before Lilith was staked. Buffy was only able to make her move because she looked at Spike so intently. There was something more than curiosity in her voice when she said, "Your mate?". It sounded like bewilderment, and maybe hope.
Why would the vampiress sound hopeful about that? Buffy felt like she was something she was missing. Something staring her in the face. Something her tired brain just couldn't latch on to.
Buffy curled into a fetal position, confused and miserable, and began to sob.
***
Giles sat in the Summers' living room, listening to his Slayer sob. She wasn't even trying to hide her tears. She was usually so guarded, rarely crying in front of anybody. But now great wails tore through her body, like she might die.
Giles wanted to run upstairs and comfort her. She wasn't just his slayer, she was his daughter. It tore him up inside to know that Buffy was not crying for her new situation. She was crying for the vampire.
But Giles knew he couldn't just dismiss Spike as "the vampire" anymore. He didn't like Spike. He would probably never forgive him for what he did, or nearly did, to Buffy. But he saw something that night that he never, ever thought he would see.
It didn't surprise Giles that the human part of Spike loved Buffy. He would be surprised if anybody could be in Buffy's life and not love her. But he clearly saw Spike, the unrepentant demon, stand up to the most powerful vampire all time and help Buffy. He knew that Lilith was feeding Spike energy, counting on her pull to lure Spike into attacking Buffy from behind.
Spike blamed the claim, but they both knew better. Demons weren't forced to honor the binding. It was more of a matter of tradition than anything. There was certainly no punishment or repercussions if a vampire rescinded or broke a claim in some way. The implications of what happened that night was amazing.
First, that Buffy allowed Spike to take her as a mate. That implied a level of intimacy beyond sex. He didn't know if Buffy realized it or not, but Spike had pledged his entire unlife to her and her protection. Second, that the demon really was a part of Spike, not a separate part put in a safe little box. Soul or no soul, the demon would always be part of who Spike was.
Which lead to the most important conclusion of all. Even the more evil, vile, disgusting parts of Spike was in love with Buffy.
It truly boggled his mind.
He was going to find an answer to this problem, not for Spike's sake. He was going to find an answer because he never wanted to hear Buffy cry like her heart was breaking again.
***
Quentin Travers sat alone in Rupert's bedroom, looking out the window, deep in thought. He knew what happened tonight. He had tried to warn that damned vampire hadn't he? He had tried to tell them not to fight this fight. He had did his best to stop them.
But the Slayer was too stubborn to listen to him, and Spike? He was the most willful, arrogant, obnoxious thing Travers had ever met. It gave him a small bit of satisfaction to know that he was probably sitting alone in his crypt, without his precious Buffy. He knew that the vampire wasn't dead. Nobody that stubborn was going to let something like the First Vampire and the Super Slayer finish him off.
Travers sighed and rubbed his eyes. This was not going according to plan at all. Things had a way of spinning completely out of control. Well, they did not anyway. For hundreds of years the Council had protected the Slayers-and their vampire lovers-from themselves. He guessed they were fortunate that nothing like the dynamic duo of Buffy and Spike had happened before.
He wondered idly if he should just tell Rupert about the long standing tradition of taking a vampire lover. No matter what the watchers did, no matter what the Council threatened, no matter how much the Council had indoctrinated their slayers, they always, always ended up sleeping with vampires.
Buffy thought she was so special, her life was so traumatic, because she had to kill her lover. Quentin was first amused at her innocence, but it quickly turned to anger when the lil bint had skipped town for three months abandoning her duties after she sent Angelus to hell. She was one of the lucky ones. At least her Watcher approved. At least she fell in love with someone who had a soul. At least she survived her love affair with a vampire.
There were many, many slayers who weren't so lucky. Inevitably their love would meet their duty, and torn, they would always turn to their Slayer strength and their sacred duty. And in the process they would get themselves killed. Quentin sighed; they had lost more slayers that way.
He knew that Rupert would arrive soon and demand answers. Quentin considered how many answers he should give. If they knew the entire truth would they be able to keep control of Buffy? And how far would that blonde vampire go to keep his lover by his side? Quentin had seen many vampires in his time, he had read about many more, but none of them were as willful and headstrong as Buffy's two lovers. Angel was out of the picture now, but what of Spike?
A small smile reached Travers' lips. No matter what, it promised to be interesting. He hoped he survived to document the experience. The insight gained here would be invaluable to future watchers and slayers.
The first place they looked for Spike was his crypt, and they weren't disappointed. He sat on the tomb, his legs dangling off the side. There was a look of deep concentration on his face, he seemed completely absorbed in his thoughts. Giles realized with a start that he looked just like Buffy did before she went to bed.
"Spike?"
"What the matter Giles?"
"With who?"
"With both of us."
Giles advanced slowly, cautiously he held up a cross.
"Why aren't I dead? I was supposed to die, and everything was supposed to ok for my girls. What happened?"
Giles sighed, "I really don't know Spike."
Spike looked at the watcher, his face stricken. "Why did I want to bite her?"
"When did you want to bite her?" Giles was questioning the vampire closely because he doubted they had much time. He needed to get as much information as possible.
Spike shook his head, "Both times I woke up. It was like the demon was in complete control. I couldn't think of anything else except draining her. You know what stopped me?"
"What?"
"The claim."
Giles frowned, "You mean the demon really was in complete control the entire time?"
"Yes."
He backed away slowly.
"Stop Watcher. I'm not going to hurt you, or anybody else. Whatever was going on is over now."
"Spike, I think I know why you couldn't control yourself."
Spike braced himself for what was to come next. 'You don't really love her.' Or 'You'll never be anything but an animal.' Or something equally wrong. He was surprised when he heard none of those things.
"It was Lilith."
Spike frowned, "Maybe the first time, but what about when we got home?"
"Lilith is."
"Lilith is what?"
"Lilith is in Buffy."
Spike gaped. "What?"
"After you passed out, the demon turned to mist and completely enveloped her, and then entered her."
"So you're saying that anytime I get close to her my demon will take control?"
Giles nodded.
"And what about her? As she turned into the Vampire Queen?"
"It would appear not. She seems to have complete control, but amazing, unbelievable strength. I have never seen anything fight like her before."
"Watcher. I need to get some sleep." Spike's voice was hoarse. Did Giles see a tear in one of the vampire's clear blue eyes?
"Of course. One of us will come by tomorrow to update you on the situation. In the meantime, perhaps it would be best if you stayed away from the house."
Spike waved him off impatiently, then jumped off the tomb and went downstairs. He heard Giles leave as he slumped onto the bed, shaking.
Until they figured out what was going on, Spike would have to stay away from Buffy. A horrible thought occurred to Spike, what if this was what she was meant to become? The ultimate Slayer, unstoppable and unbreakable? Unable to be with the vampire who loved her.
Spike sighed. This was much, much worse than being dead. He would rather have died instantly than experience the torture of being unable to be in her glorious, golden presence.
***
Buffy couldn't sleep. She was tired. More exhausted than she could remember being in a very long time. But she was cold, and she was lonely, and worried about Spike. Giles had returned within an hour of leaving and ducked his head into her room.
"Buffy? Spike is fine. He's in his crypt."
"What happened?"
"I'll explain tomorrow. Try to get some rest."
She had been preparing for this night for awhile. She thought she was ready to live without Spike. She thought she would be ready to fact the world without him beside her, fighting for her, fighting for all of them. But there was no way she could have foreseen this.
She didn't need Giles to explain what was going on. It took her some time to figure it out, but she knew what was going on. She was never the brightest girl in her class, but she wasn't stupid either.
Lilith was driving Spike away. As long as this demon was in her body, she couldn't be with him. She understood that one way around that would be for Spike to get his soul back. But there is no way he could withstand countless thousands of people staking him, burning him, bruising him, tormenting him.
And it's not like he could just get another one. Giles had been very specific about what made Spike so special. He had William's soul. A random soul would do him no good.
The only thing she didn't understand is why Spike spared her not once, but twice. Did it have something to do with the claim? Nothing else made sense. Buffy was rather amazed that it was strong enough to override Spike's most basic instinct. Spike had told her himself that nothing is as amazing, as potent, as Slayer's blood. Yet he managed to resist.
Buffy's mind flashed to what happened just before Lilith was staked. Buffy was only able to make her move because she looked at Spike so intently. There was something more than curiosity in her voice when she said, "Your mate?". It sounded like bewilderment, and maybe hope.
Why would the vampiress sound hopeful about that? Buffy felt like she was something she was missing. Something staring her in the face. Something her tired brain just couldn't latch on to.
Buffy curled into a fetal position, confused and miserable, and began to sob.
***
Giles sat in the Summers' living room, listening to his Slayer sob. She wasn't even trying to hide her tears. She was usually so guarded, rarely crying in front of anybody. But now great wails tore through her body, like she might die.
Giles wanted to run upstairs and comfort her. She wasn't just his slayer, she was his daughter. It tore him up inside to know that Buffy was not crying for her new situation. She was crying for the vampire.
But Giles knew he couldn't just dismiss Spike as "the vampire" anymore. He didn't like Spike. He would probably never forgive him for what he did, or nearly did, to Buffy. But he saw something that night that he never, ever thought he would see.
It didn't surprise Giles that the human part of Spike loved Buffy. He would be surprised if anybody could be in Buffy's life and not love her. But he clearly saw Spike, the unrepentant demon, stand up to the most powerful vampire all time and help Buffy. He knew that Lilith was feeding Spike energy, counting on her pull to lure Spike into attacking Buffy from behind.
Spike blamed the claim, but they both knew better. Demons weren't forced to honor the binding. It was more of a matter of tradition than anything. There was certainly no punishment or repercussions if a vampire rescinded or broke a claim in some way. The implications of what happened that night was amazing.
First, that Buffy allowed Spike to take her as a mate. That implied a level of intimacy beyond sex. He didn't know if Buffy realized it or not, but Spike had pledged his entire unlife to her and her protection. Second, that the demon really was a part of Spike, not a separate part put in a safe little box. Soul or no soul, the demon would always be part of who Spike was.
Which lead to the most important conclusion of all. Even the more evil, vile, disgusting parts of Spike was in love with Buffy.
It truly boggled his mind.
He was going to find an answer to this problem, not for Spike's sake. He was going to find an answer because he never wanted to hear Buffy cry like her heart was breaking again.
***
Quentin Travers sat alone in Rupert's bedroom, looking out the window, deep in thought. He knew what happened tonight. He had tried to warn that damned vampire hadn't he? He had tried to tell them not to fight this fight. He had did his best to stop them.
But the Slayer was too stubborn to listen to him, and Spike? He was the most willful, arrogant, obnoxious thing Travers had ever met. It gave him a small bit of satisfaction to know that he was probably sitting alone in his crypt, without his precious Buffy. He knew that the vampire wasn't dead. Nobody that stubborn was going to let something like the First Vampire and the Super Slayer finish him off.
Travers sighed and rubbed his eyes. This was not going according to plan at all. Things had a way of spinning completely out of control. Well, they did not anyway. For hundreds of years the Council had protected the Slayers-and their vampire lovers-from themselves. He guessed they were fortunate that nothing like the dynamic duo of Buffy and Spike had happened before.
He wondered idly if he should just tell Rupert about the long standing tradition of taking a vampire lover. No matter what the watchers did, no matter what the Council threatened, no matter how much the Council had indoctrinated their slayers, they always, always ended up sleeping with vampires.
Buffy thought she was so special, her life was so traumatic, because she had to kill her lover. Quentin was first amused at her innocence, but it quickly turned to anger when the lil bint had skipped town for three months abandoning her duties after she sent Angelus to hell. She was one of the lucky ones. At least her Watcher approved. At least she fell in love with someone who had a soul. At least she survived her love affair with a vampire.
There were many, many slayers who weren't so lucky. Inevitably their love would meet their duty, and torn, they would always turn to their Slayer strength and their sacred duty. And in the process they would get themselves killed. Quentin sighed; they had lost more slayers that way.
He knew that Rupert would arrive soon and demand answers. Quentin considered how many answers he should give. If they knew the entire truth would they be able to keep control of Buffy? And how far would that blonde vampire go to keep his lover by his side? Quentin had seen many vampires in his time, he had read about many more, but none of them were as willful and headstrong as Buffy's two lovers. Angel was out of the picture now, but what of Spike?
A small smile reached Travers' lips. No matter what, it promised to be interesting. He hoped he survived to document the experience. The insight gained here would be invaluable to future watchers and slayers.