Chapter 6
"He did that," Giles said flatly the next morning when Buffy emerged from her room. Giles was referring to the various bite marks on her face and neck that she couldn't cover with make-up.
"Yes," Buffy said calmly, but didn't volunteer anymore information.
"You know it's dangerous to be around him."
"Well, we kinda just ran into each other," Buffy said lamely.
"Yes, Willow told me that he dragged you out of the Bronze, growling," Giles said.
"Yeah, he was kinda upset. He saw me dancing with somebody else."
Giles sighed and removed his glasses. "Did he hurt you?"
Buffy shrugged, "I knocked him out and dragged him back to his crypt. Someone should go check on him today."
"God Buffy, what happened to you?" Dawn asked horrified.
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"Was it Spike? He was acting a little crazy last night."
"A little?" Willow spoke up, "He looked like he was ready to kill everybody in the room."
"Oh, he did not," Buffy protested. "You guys are exaggerating." Though she had to admit that Spike probably did look pretty frightening. She hadn't been afraid of him, why should she be? She could crush his skull between her hands as easily as crushing a grape.
"Well, if you're sure your OK."
"I'm sure," Buffy said with a bright, and sincere, smile.
***
Spike woke up disoriented and confused. He looked around and realized he was in the upper part of his crypt He didn't know how got there though.
He concentrated and reached for Buffy. She seemed to be ok. Relieved, he warmed some blood for breakfast and rubbed his head gently. He realized he had a knot in the back. At the same time his eyes caught the note on the microwave.
"Don't be sorry? Sorry about what?" Then the memories hit him. "Oh..God."
Spike put the blood down, no longer hungry. He remembered coming back into the Bronze and seeing her dancing with some wanker. That didn't bother him so much. What bothered him was the fact that he completely lost control.
He remembered their furious coupling and how he fed from her..twice. And was more than willing to do it a third time but she knocked him out. "She didn't know what else to do..to stop me? Oh God."
He began pacing the room quickly. He could have drained her, he ***would*** have drained her if she would have let him. "Drain her, I would have drained her," he muttered under his breath repeatedly.
This was not good. This was very, very bad. What if next time he saw her and lost control she wouldn't be able to stop him? What if he hurt her? He was relieved that she apparently wanted him as badly as he wanted her, but what of next time? What if next time she didn't want it? What if he tried to force himself on her? Again.
She would probably kill him, and he had no problem with that. He'd want her to. But he never, ever wanted to put her in the position where she'd have to kill him. Spike didn't know what he exactly he would do though.
It occurred to him that he told her watcher that he would not accept their current situation. He was waiting around with his thumb up his arse for answers from their books and the Council and that git Travers. But there was no reason for that. Spike knew that there were always ways to find the answers if you knew what questions to ask.
He could leave tonight and he wouldn't come back until he knew how to solve this. Spike had been around long enough to know that the resources were there if you knew who to pay, who to ask, who to bribe, who to kill.
He began packing his bag, something he hadn't bothered to do the last time he left. He put in a few shirts and pants, but mostly he filled it with money, jewels, various books, and documents. He was going to try to be prepared for any eventuality.
He still had some contacts, demons and humans, who knew to stay on the good side of the Big Bad-even if said Big Bad had a chip in his head and was currently enjoying a stint as the Slayer's lap dog. He even had an idea of who to visit first.
Spike finished packing than sat down to really plan his trip. He knew that the slayerettes didn't think he was a "plan man". They figured he was more of a fighter and Angelus was the big planner. They were partially right. Spike wasn't big on devising large and elaborate plans of destruction, but that didn't mean he couldn't. He knew how to be careful and conscientious, knew how to look at the details carefully.
He took out his notebook and pen and quickly jotted out the things he wanted to know. Was it really the Slayer's destiny to take on Lilith's demon? Where did Spike fit in in all this? Why was it so important that he have a soul? It was obvious to him that he was not meant to die at her hands, that he needed to stay alive for something. Something that scared the piss ant Travers and his gang of wankers. But what?
He also needed to find out what type of magic would allow him to get his soul back. He knew he'd have to ask about that carefully, it wouldn't do to broadcast his new souled status. But he figured there were a few demons that he could talk to.
He quickly wrote down various names and the places he had last seen them. Brazil, London, New York, Mexico, someone right here in California. He would go there first though he doubted that the demon will be able to help him much.
He knew that Buffy would be extremely pissed at him for leaving. She wouldn't like it one bit, and she wouldn't care what his reasons were. Even if he sat her down and explained them carefully and thoroughly. But that wasn't an option. He'd have to settle for talking to whoever came by-he hoped it would be the witch-and leaving her a letter.
Just as the thought occurred to him he heard someone bang into his crypt. "As long as it's not Harris," Spike muttered.
"Spike?" He heard Willow call, "You here?"
"I'm here Red. Why don't you come downstairs?"
She noticed his bag sitting on the floor as soon as she came down. "You leaving?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Why? Is it because of what happened last night? Buffy knew you'd be upset."
"She told you?"
"Well, not all the details, but there are bites all over her neck and face and." Willow stopped talking when she saw the stricken look on Spike's face.
"Is she ok?"
"Yeah, she said she was fine. She's acting like she's fine. She wanted me to check on you."
"I'm fine Red. It's partially about last night. I don't want to risk hurting her again. Mostly I don't want to put her in the position she'd have to stake me. But I'm also going to look for some information."
Willow sighed and sat down. "We're not big on the info right now. We only have so many resources."
"I'm sure you'll find something soon. But I can't just sit here and be useless. There are a lot of old and wise and learned demons, and humans, in this world. I knew a few of them myself."
"You're not going anywhere dangerous, are you?"
Spike shook his head. "No more than usual. Don't worry, I'll be able to defend myself now anyway."
"Do you know Buffy can smell everything?"
Spike frowned, "What?"
"She can smell everything. She says that she wishes you were there to help her deal with it. She says it's like seeing a whole new world."
"Is she doing anything else, uh, vampire like?"
"She can see in the dark pretty good, and we can't even whisper around her anymore. I mean, she's always had sensitive ears, but now she says she can even hear our pulses," Willow explained.
"So basically she's got all the advantages of being human and of being a vampire."
Willow nodded.
"Thanks Red. Can you stop by later tonight? I want to write her a letter. I'd drop it by myself, but."
"No problem, I'll be here after sundown."
"Thanks. Oh, and don't tell her I'm leaving. I'll explain everything to her."
"Ok."
"See ya, ducks."
Willow's new information about Buffy's new and improved senses only strengthened his resolve to go. She needed to keep this power and if he couldn't figure out a way to fight it, then he'd make damned sure that she could use her strength without fear.
Buffy, I have to go now. Don't be mad. I'm coming back. But I can't just sit here in this crypt waiting for the Scoobies to find something. There are a few places I can go, books I can find, to help. But no matter what, I will be back. I AM sorry about last night. I could have drained you. I wanted to drain you. I can't trust myself to even be in the same town as you right now. The chances are too great that I'll run into you and do something I'll really regret. Something we both will. Take care of yourself. I'll write you to let you know where I'm at and what I found. Love always William.
"He did that," Giles said flatly the next morning when Buffy emerged from her room. Giles was referring to the various bite marks on her face and neck that she couldn't cover with make-up.
"Yes," Buffy said calmly, but didn't volunteer anymore information.
"You know it's dangerous to be around him."
"Well, we kinda just ran into each other," Buffy said lamely.
"Yes, Willow told me that he dragged you out of the Bronze, growling," Giles said.
"Yeah, he was kinda upset. He saw me dancing with somebody else."
Giles sighed and removed his glasses. "Did he hurt you?"
Buffy shrugged, "I knocked him out and dragged him back to his crypt. Someone should go check on him today."
"God Buffy, what happened to you?" Dawn asked horrified.
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"Was it Spike? He was acting a little crazy last night."
"A little?" Willow spoke up, "He looked like he was ready to kill everybody in the room."
"Oh, he did not," Buffy protested. "You guys are exaggerating." Though she had to admit that Spike probably did look pretty frightening. She hadn't been afraid of him, why should she be? She could crush his skull between her hands as easily as crushing a grape.
"Well, if you're sure your OK."
"I'm sure," Buffy said with a bright, and sincere, smile.
***
Spike woke up disoriented and confused. He looked around and realized he was in the upper part of his crypt He didn't know how got there though.
He concentrated and reached for Buffy. She seemed to be ok. Relieved, he warmed some blood for breakfast and rubbed his head gently. He realized he had a knot in the back. At the same time his eyes caught the note on the microwave.
"Don't be sorry? Sorry about what?" Then the memories hit him. "Oh..God."
Spike put the blood down, no longer hungry. He remembered coming back into the Bronze and seeing her dancing with some wanker. That didn't bother him so much. What bothered him was the fact that he completely lost control.
He remembered their furious coupling and how he fed from her..twice. And was more than willing to do it a third time but she knocked him out. "She didn't know what else to do..to stop me? Oh God."
He began pacing the room quickly. He could have drained her, he ***would*** have drained her if she would have let him. "Drain her, I would have drained her," he muttered under his breath repeatedly.
This was not good. This was very, very bad. What if next time he saw her and lost control she wouldn't be able to stop him? What if he hurt her? He was relieved that she apparently wanted him as badly as he wanted her, but what of next time? What if next time she didn't want it? What if he tried to force himself on her? Again.
She would probably kill him, and he had no problem with that. He'd want her to. But he never, ever wanted to put her in the position where she'd have to kill him. Spike didn't know what he exactly he would do though.
It occurred to him that he told her watcher that he would not accept their current situation. He was waiting around with his thumb up his arse for answers from their books and the Council and that git Travers. But there was no reason for that. Spike knew that there were always ways to find the answers if you knew what questions to ask.
He could leave tonight and he wouldn't come back until he knew how to solve this. Spike had been around long enough to know that the resources were there if you knew who to pay, who to ask, who to bribe, who to kill.
He began packing his bag, something he hadn't bothered to do the last time he left. He put in a few shirts and pants, but mostly he filled it with money, jewels, various books, and documents. He was going to try to be prepared for any eventuality.
He still had some contacts, demons and humans, who knew to stay on the good side of the Big Bad-even if said Big Bad had a chip in his head and was currently enjoying a stint as the Slayer's lap dog. He even had an idea of who to visit first.
Spike finished packing than sat down to really plan his trip. He knew that the slayerettes didn't think he was a "plan man". They figured he was more of a fighter and Angelus was the big planner. They were partially right. Spike wasn't big on devising large and elaborate plans of destruction, but that didn't mean he couldn't. He knew how to be careful and conscientious, knew how to look at the details carefully.
He took out his notebook and pen and quickly jotted out the things he wanted to know. Was it really the Slayer's destiny to take on Lilith's demon? Where did Spike fit in in all this? Why was it so important that he have a soul? It was obvious to him that he was not meant to die at her hands, that he needed to stay alive for something. Something that scared the piss ant Travers and his gang of wankers. But what?
He also needed to find out what type of magic would allow him to get his soul back. He knew he'd have to ask about that carefully, it wouldn't do to broadcast his new souled status. But he figured there were a few demons that he could talk to.
He quickly wrote down various names and the places he had last seen them. Brazil, London, New York, Mexico, someone right here in California. He would go there first though he doubted that the demon will be able to help him much.
He knew that Buffy would be extremely pissed at him for leaving. She wouldn't like it one bit, and she wouldn't care what his reasons were. Even if he sat her down and explained them carefully and thoroughly. But that wasn't an option. He'd have to settle for talking to whoever came by-he hoped it would be the witch-and leaving her a letter.
Just as the thought occurred to him he heard someone bang into his crypt. "As long as it's not Harris," Spike muttered.
"Spike?" He heard Willow call, "You here?"
"I'm here Red. Why don't you come downstairs?"
She noticed his bag sitting on the floor as soon as she came down. "You leaving?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Why? Is it because of what happened last night? Buffy knew you'd be upset."
"She told you?"
"Well, not all the details, but there are bites all over her neck and face and." Willow stopped talking when she saw the stricken look on Spike's face.
"Is she ok?"
"Yeah, she said she was fine. She's acting like she's fine. She wanted me to check on you."
"I'm fine Red. It's partially about last night. I don't want to risk hurting her again. Mostly I don't want to put her in the position she'd have to stake me. But I'm also going to look for some information."
Willow sighed and sat down. "We're not big on the info right now. We only have so many resources."
"I'm sure you'll find something soon. But I can't just sit here and be useless. There are a lot of old and wise and learned demons, and humans, in this world. I knew a few of them myself."
"You're not going anywhere dangerous, are you?"
Spike shook his head. "No more than usual. Don't worry, I'll be able to defend myself now anyway."
"Do you know Buffy can smell everything?"
Spike frowned, "What?"
"She can smell everything. She says that she wishes you were there to help her deal with it. She says it's like seeing a whole new world."
"Is she doing anything else, uh, vampire like?"
"She can see in the dark pretty good, and we can't even whisper around her anymore. I mean, she's always had sensitive ears, but now she says she can even hear our pulses," Willow explained.
"So basically she's got all the advantages of being human and of being a vampire."
Willow nodded.
"Thanks Red. Can you stop by later tonight? I want to write her a letter. I'd drop it by myself, but."
"No problem, I'll be here after sundown."
"Thanks. Oh, and don't tell her I'm leaving. I'll explain everything to her."
"Ok."
"See ya, ducks."
Willow's new information about Buffy's new and improved senses only strengthened his resolve to go. She needed to keep this power and if he couldn't figure out a way to fight it, then he'd make damned sure that she could use her strength without fear.
Buffy, I have to go now. Don't be mad. I'm coming back. But I can't just sit here in this crypt waiting for the Scoobies to find something. There are a few places I can go, books I can find, to help. But no matter what, I will be back. I AM sorry about last night. I could have drained you. I wanted to drain you. I can't trust myself to even be in the same town as you right now. The chances are too great that I'll run into you and do something I'll really regret. Something we both will. Take care of yourself. I'll write you to let you know where I'm at and what I found. Love always William.