A/N-I am very, very sorry that this took so long to post, and that it's so
short. It's been difficult to write because the heat has been making me
sick. It's hard for me to concentrate with a headache and everything. But I
will keep on plugging away, even if I have to do all my writing at 1:00 in
the morning.
Chapter 10
Spike stepped into the circle with trepidation. This was a holy place, he knew, and he was not worthy enough to be there.
It had been a month since his vision in the desert. He had called Buffy as often as he could, and gave her updates on his whereabouts, but he didn't tell her what his vision had revealed. He wouldn't do that until he had more information.
It felt like he had talked to every seer, every witch, every mystically inclined demon, in the western United States. He was loath to travel any further away from Buffy then he absolutely had to. He wouldn't travel east until he had exhausted all of his resources.
And it seemed he was almost at that point. He had one good lead left. A Holy Man in the Arizona desert. He had been told by several demons and humans that this holy man was extremely wise and knew many things about the past and the future. Spike didn't feel like had much of a choice, even though if the he was truly a wise Holy Man he would not even acknowledge the vampire's existence.
"Enter vampire," a deep voice commanded. "What is it you seek?"
Spike took a deep unneeded breath, "I have questions about the Chosen One."
It occurred to Spike briefly that even if he wanted to bite this man, he would be unable to. Powerful magics swirled around him, protecting him from all, even old age. Spike could smell the age of the man sitting before him, but to the eye he seemed to be no older than 20. Spike understood that appearance could be deceiving. This man may be human, but he easily walked the between the worlds.
They sat in a stone circle, a small fire between them. Above them the sky was still a deep, dark blue, only a few stars twinkling. The moon had yet to rise. Spike was in his element, but he felt oddly out of place.
"She has returned."
"Yes, over a year ago."
The man nodded. "She is ready."
"Ready for what? The light..it told me she was to become a Goddess. It was her destiny."
"Of course."
"So she had to die."
"Of course."
"I don't understand."
"Were you a Christian before you died?"
Startled by the question, Spike could only answer in the affirmative.
"And you were a scholar?"
Spike nodded.
"So you know the stories of resurrection and rebirth? You know that almost every single world religion has the story of a death, murder or sacrifice, and the subsequent return."
"Yes, I know the stories." The mythology of death and resurrection was always particularly fascinating to the vampire, for obvious reasons. "Osiris, Dionysus, Christ, Freyr. Hercules."
"Death is necessary to change the body, make it ready to become the vessel of light." The man's eyes flicked to the vampire, "or dark. You understand this too."
Spike nodded, feeling like a fool. Buffy didn't come back wrong, she came back better. She came back purer.
"The Earth dies every year to prepare itself for Spring. Your Slayer died to prepare for the light she will receive. You died a second death."
Spike frowned but didn't push.
"You sacrificed yourself to gain a soul, and then you lost it again. You will find it. It is not lost to you forever."
"Can you tell me how?"
"Go to her now. You will find an answer."
Spike roared in anger and frustration, "Why does everybody keep saying that? Do you think if I knew how to get it back I'd be here?"
The Holy Man blinked. "You have the answers you seek."
"No! I do not! I don't understand anything! Bloody hell! You're telling me that my Slayer had to die.why did she go to heaven? Why did she get expelled from Heaven? Was that part of the master plan?"
"It was required. You claim to be Christian once, you must know that even Jesus had to experience Hell as well as heaven."
"She kept saying she was in Hell..this world, her life, is hell?"
The man nodded solemnly. "It was part of the cycle."
Spike slammed his fist to the ground, "Sod your bloody cycle! Do you know what that girl has been through? She doesn't deserve this! Her life has been hell for the past seven years."
"Vampire, I know you feel strongly about this. Think of it as the year. She had her Spring, as a child. In the Summer, she was the Slayer. In the Fall, she died. And her Winter, when things seemed darkest, coldest, and the most lonely, was her return. She could not reach her ultimate destiny if she didn't survive that."
Spike was shaking. His words made sense on one level, but that hardly stopped his rage. Buffy had been put through a horrible, terrible ordeal on a path towards a goal she didn't even want.
"But she just wants to be a normal girl, a sister, a friend. She doesn't want to be a Goddess!" Spike protested.
"It's gone too far now. She doesn't have a choice."
"She bloody well does! She's not a pawn to fate or destiny, she's her own woman."
The Holy Man shrugged, "I cannot fight this battle with you Vampire. It's not up to me."
Spike forced himself to calm down. "Why does she need me? Where do I fit in?"
"You compliment her. There cannot be light without dark. There cannot be good without evil. There is a balance. You are her balance. She will not survive without the balance."
He had heard this spiel before. It seemed to be the only thing anybody could tell him about the situation. Of the dozens of conversations he had over the past month, all of them ended with the same warning. "You must find her. She needs you. There's a balance."
Spike was more than happy to be her balance, the dark to her light, the evil to her good. He would be more than happy to lay down his life for her. He would be more than happy to take on half of this Lilith thing. He would dance the Mexican Hat Dance for her if she wanted him to, or needed him to. His willingness was not in question. The only problem was, he didn't know what to do. Nobody knew what to do.
He stood up and looked at the man then at the desert around him, feeling confused and helpless. As he stood there, the full moon rose behind him, large and luminous, seeming to eat the entire sky.
The Holy Man gasped as the vampire stood as a dark outline against the silver light. In the light of the rising moon, Spike looked more than powerful. He looked ancient, and yet young. His body was that of a predator, but his eyes and face was innocent. He began to move out of the circle, and he walked with a casual grace. For a moment the dark vampire stood illuminated looked every bit the creature of light and power he was destined to become, and the Holy Man felt a tremor of fear shoot through his body.
Chapter 10
Spike stepped into the circle with trepidation. This was a holy place, he knew, and he was not worthy enough to be there.
It had been a month since his vision in the desert. He had called Buffy as often as he could, and gave her updates on his whereabouts, but he didn't tell her what his vision had revealed. He wouldn't do that until he had more information.
It felt like he had talked to every seer, every witch, every mystically inclined demon, in the western United States. He was loath to travel any further away from Buffy then he absolutely had to. He wouldn't travel east until he had exhausted all of his resources.
And it seemed he was almost at that point. He had one good lead left. A Holy Man in the Arizona desert. He had been told by several demons and humans that this holy man was extremely wise and knew many things about the past and the future. Spike didn't feel like had much of a choice, even though if the he was truly a wise Holy Man he would not even acknowledge the vampire's existence.
"Enter vampire," a deep voice commanded. "What is it you seek?"
Spike took a deep unneeded breath, "I have questions about the Chosen One."
It occurred to Spike briefly that even if he wanted to bite this man, he would be unable to. Powerful magics swirled around him, protecting him from all, even old age. Spike could smell the age of the man sitting before him, but to the eye he seemed to be no older than 20. Spike understood that appearance could be deceiving. This man may be human, but he easily walked the between the worlds.
They sat in a stone circle, a small fire between them. Above them the sky was still a deep, dark blue, only a few stars twinkling. The moon had yet to rise. Spike was in his element, but he felt oddly out of place.
"She has returned."
"Yes, over a year ago."
The man nodded. "She is ready."
"Ready for what? The light..it told me she was to become a Goddess. It was her destiny."
"Of course."
"So she had to die."
"Of course."
"I don't understand."
"Were you a Christian before you died?"
Startled by the question, Spike could only answer in the affirmative.
"And you were a scholar?"
Spike nodded.
"So you know the stories of resurrection and rebirth? You know that almost every single world religion has the story of a death, murder or sacrifice, and the subsequent return."
"Yes, I know the stories." The mythology of death and resurrection was always particularly fascinating to the vampire, for obvious reasons. "Osiris, Dionysus, Christ, Freyr. Hercules."
"Death is necessary to change the body, make it ready to become the vessel of light." The man's eyes flicked to the vampire, "or dark. You understand this too."
Spike nodded, feeling like a fool. Buffy didn't come back wrong, she came back better. She came back purer.
"The Earth dies every year to prepare itself for Spring. Your Slayer died to prepare for the light she will receive. You died a second death."
Spike frowned but didn't push.
"You sacrificed yourself to gain a soul, and then you lost it again. You will find it. It is not lost to you forever."
"Can you tell me how?"
"Go to her now. You will find an answer."
Spike roared in anger and frustration, "Why does everybody keep saying that? Do you think if I knew how to get it back I'd be here?"
The Holy Man blinked. "You have the answers you seek."
"No! I do not! I don't understand anything! Bloody hell! You're telling me that my Slayer had to die.why did she go to heaven? Why did she get expelled from Heaven? Was that part of the master plan?"
"It was required. You claim to be Christian once, you must know that even Jesus had to experience Hell as well as heaven."
"She kept saying she was in Hell..this world, her life, is hell?"
The man nodded solemnly. "It was part of the cycle."
Spike slammed his fist to the ground, "Sod your bloody cycle! Do you know what that girl has been through? She doesn't deserve this! Her life has been hell for the past seven years."
"Vampire, I know you feel strongly about this. Think of it as the year. She had her Spring, as a child. In the Summer, she was the Slayer. In the Fall, she died. And her Winter, when things seemed darkest, coldest, and the most lonely, was her return. She could not reach her ultimate destiny if she didn't survive that."
Spike was shaking. His words made sense on one level, but that hardly stopped his rage. Buffy had been put through a horrible, terrible ordeal on a path towards a goal she didn't even want.
"But she just wants to be a normal girl, a sister, a friend. She doesn't want to be a Goddess!" Spike protested.
"It's gone too far now. She doesn't have a choice."
"She bloody well does! She's not a pawn to fate or destiny, she's her own woman."
The Holy Man shrugged, "I cannot fight this battle with you Vampire. It's not up to me."
Spike forced himself to calm down. "Why does she need me? Where do I fit in?"
"You compliment her. There cannot be light without dark. There cannot be good without evil. There is a balance. You are her balance. She will not survive without the balance."
He had heard this spiel before. It seemed to be the only thing anybody could tell him about the situation. Of the dozens of conversations he had over the past month, all of them ended with the same warning. "You must find her. She needs you. There's a balance."
Spike was more than happy to be her balance, the dark to her light, the evil to her good. He would be more than happy to lay down his life for her. He would be more than happy to take on half of this Lilith thing. He would dance the Mexican Hat Dance for her if she wanted him to, or needed him to. His willingness was not in question. The only problem was, he didn't know what to do. Nobody knew what to do.
He stood up and looked at the man then at the desert around him, feeling confused and helpless. As he stood there, the full moon rose behind him, large and luminous, seeming to eat the entire sky.
The Holy Man gasped as the vampire stood as a dark outline against the silver light. In the light of the rising moon, Spike looked more than powerful. He looked ancient, and yet young. His body was that of a predator, but his eyes and face was innocent. He began to move out of the circle, and he walked with a casual grace. For a moment the dark vampire stood illuminated looked every bit the creature of light and power he was destined to become, and the Holy Man felt a tremor of fear shoot through his body.