Chapter 12
Spike drove by Buffy's house slowly. Every fiber of his being was begging him to stop and see her. He even stopped the car and thought about backing up, maybe just to sit outside her window. But he knew he couldn't do that either, so he drove on to Giles' house.
"Anybody here?" He called as he opened the door.
"No," Quentin answered.
Spike stopped short, "You're still here? Why are you still here?"
"Rupert is holding me hostage until we figure out what's going on with Buffy."
Spike sat down on the chair across from him. "You have absolutely no idea what's going on, do you?"
"I've told you guys all I know."
"And it wasn't very helpful. Why don't you tell them how to restore my soul?"
"I told you, the spell can't be taken off."
"What did you think Lilith's essence would do to her? And now is not the time for games. I haven't seen her in over a month, I'm hungry, I'm tired, and my patience is worn very thin."
"I thought it would turn her into a super-slayer, so to speak."
"Just that? A slayer with even more strength?"
"Yes."
"Still mortal?"
"Of course," Quentin scoffed. "And when she dies, the next Slayer will inherit all of her power."
"Where did you get this information?"
"Our books."
"Well, you've been trying to hide the truth for so long that you don't even know what it is anymore, Travers."
"And I suppose you know what the truth is?"
"Yeah, I do. Where's Giles?"
"At the Slayer's house."
Spike got up, grabbed the portable phone, and went into the spare bedroom to make his call. "Hey Niblet, where's Giles? Yeah, I need to talk to him...I'm at his place..I promise to tell you all about it...Ok, thanks Niblet..Hey Giles."
"Where are you?"
"Your house. Why don't you guys all come over?"
"Buffy should hear this too."
"Of course. I'll just keep her on the phone."
"We'll be over in 15 minutes. I'll put Buffy on."
"Spike?"
"Hi love. How are you doing?"
"Not good."
"What's wrong?"
"I went out with Dawn the other day after you called. We were at the mall and I freaked. I know I scared Dawn, well, I scared everybody. I also owe the food court money for destroying several of the tables."
"Were you hurt, pet?"
"No, nobody was."
"What set you off?"
"That's where we destroyed the Judge. I always feel a little bit angry when I walk through that area. Apparently the memory really set off my anger."
Spike winced, "Sorry, love."
"So anyway, not going to the mall until we figure out what's going on."
"Buffy, I'm going to tell you what I found out before the group comes over. You deserve to know first. Unless you want to hear it with everybody else."
"No, no, tell me."
"Well, love, you're becoming a goddess."
"What?" Buffy asked sharply. "Did I just hear you correctly?"
"Depends. What did you hear?"
"You said that I'm becoming a goddess."
"Then yeah, you heard correctly."
"How?"
"Sl-Buffy, I really don't know."
"Well, what do you know?"
"That it's part of your destiny. That this is the reason you died and came back. Oh, they're here. I'll explain the rest to everybody."
"Wait.wait, my destiny?!"
"Yeah."
Buffy didn't say anything, just growled with frustration.
Spike walked into the living room when he heard everybody come through the door. "Buffy's on the phone, so just sit down, and I'll tell you everything I know."
Everybody sat down and looked at him expectantly. Dawn wasn't there, she had stayed home to keep Buffy company. Spike took a breath, and then launched into the story. He started by explaining his visit with the seer, and finished with what he learned from the Holy Man.
When he was done, everybody stared at him, mouth open. Even Travers. Buffy was silent on her end of the line. Spike stared back, waiting for the inevitable questions that he didn't have answers for.
"So," Willow finally asked, "If you need to take half of Lilith from Buffy, and Buffy is becoming a Goddess, does that mean you will be a God?"
Spike paused. He had never thought of that, simply because it was far too preposterous and ridiculous.
"I don't know," he said slowly. "All I know is that I have to do this to save her. And I can't until I get my soul back."
"What powers will she have?" Anya asked.
Spike shrugged, "I told you guys everything I know."
"This is extraordinary," Giles breathed.
"You can't trust him. He doesn't know what he's talking about," Travers protested.
Spike glared at him, "Right now I have a lot more credibility than you do, wanker."
"Extraordinary," Giles repeated.
"Buffy? Are you still there?"
"I'm here," she said. "I..I just can't believe this. Are you sure?"
"As sure as I can be, pet."
"Spike, we think we know how to get your soul back."
Spike looked up, "How?" His tone was full of reserved hope.
Willow looked at Giles nervously, "Uh, well, promise you won't interrupt until we tell you everything."
"Ok."
"Giles, do you want to explain?" Willow offered.
"You go ahead, Willow."
Willow took a deep breath and then explained as quickly as she could, gauging Spike's emotions. By the time she was done, his face was set.
"Absolutely not," he said, just as Buffy yelled into the phone loud enough for everybody to hear, "No!"
Willow picked up the other phone, "Put Dawn on the phone in the kitchen," she instructed Buffy.
"What's up?" Dawn asked.
"Dawn, I think you should hear this too. We have figure out a way for Spike to get his soul back. We need you."
"Do I need to bleed?"
"No! No, nothing like that. Magic is basically knowing how to use energy and the elements. One way to neutralize any spell is to counteract the effects with energy."
"You want to use me to neutralize the spell?"
"No," Spike interrupted, "It's too risky."
Dawn ignored him. "How do you want to do it.
"We'll perform a small spell on you to show your aura, then we will send the soul into you. It'll make your aura glow another color, probably green. Once the aura returns to its natural color, we remove the soul and give it to Spike."
"That sounds dangerous," Buffy said.
"No, it's not," Willow rushed to assure them.
"How long will it last?"
"I don't know how long it will take. Anywhere from seconds to minutes."
"Will it hurt?"
"Probably. You will probably feel some of Spike's pain before the spell is destroyed. I don't know how much though."
"No!" Spike roared into the phone. The three girls pulled the receivers away from their ears and winced. "No," he repeated, this time not quite so loud. "I will not let you be at risk Dawn. I won't let you get hurt."
"Spike, I want to help," Dawn informed him.
"No. I'm not changing my mind about this."
"What about Buffy?" Willow demanded.
"What about her?"
"You said yourself that this is killing Buffy. That she has a whole destiny."
"Well, there's got to be another way."
"There isn't another way," Willow insisted. "Don't you think we've looked everywhere before we decided to tell you about it?"
"I don't like this, Willow," Buffy said quietly.
Spike growled. He absolutely refused to hurt his lil Bit. He'd let the world end first. But at the same time, he couldn't lose Buffy again. He just could not.
"I can't ask you to bear my sins, Niblet," Spike said softly.
"I can't lose Buffy again," Dawn pointed out. "I'm not just a child anymore. I think I can make my own decision."
"No," Buffy said, "You can't make this decision on your own. We'll talk about this now." And she hung up.
"I want to help, Spike." Then Dawn hung up too.
Spike slammed the phone down and stormed out of the house. "Where are you going?" Anya called after him.
"I need to think."
Spike drove by Buffy's house slowly. Every fiber of his being was begging him to stop and see her. He even stopped the car and thought about backing up, maybe just to sit outside her window. But he knew he couldn't do that either, so he drove on to Giles' house.
"Anybody here?" He called as he opened the door.
"No," Quentin answered.
Spike stopped short, "You're still here? Why are you still here?"
"Rupert is holding me hostage until we figure out what's going on with Buffy."
Spike sat down on the chair across from him. "You have absolutely no idea what's going on, do you?"
"I've told you guys all I know."
"And it wasn't very helpful. Why don't you tell them how to restore my soul?"
"I told you, the spell can't be taken off."
"What did you think Lilith's essence would do to her? And now is not the time for games. I haven't seen her in over a month, I'm hungry, I'm tired, and my patience is worn very thin."
"I thought it would turn her into a super-slayer, so to speak."
"Just that? A slayer with even more strength?"
"Yes."
"Still mortal?"
"Of course," Quentin scoffed. "And when she dies, the next Slayer will inherit all of her power."
"Where did you get this information?"
"Our books."
"Well, you've been trying to hide the truth for so long that you don't even know what it is anymore, Travers."
"And I suppose you know what the truth is?"
"Yeah, I do. Where's Giles?"
"At the Slayer's house."
Spike got up, grabbed the portable phone, and went into the spare bedroom to make his call. "Hey Niblet, where's Giles? Yeah, I need to talk to him...I'm at his place..I promise to tell you all about it...Ok, thanks Niblet..Hey Giles."
"Where are you?"
"Your house. Why don't you guys all come over?"
"Buffy should hear this too."
"Of course. I'll just keep her on the phone."
"We'll be over in 15 minutes. I'll put Buffy on."
"Spike?"
"Hi love. How are you doing?"
"Not good."
"What's wrong?"
"I went out with Dawn the other day after you called. We were at the mall and I freaked. I know I scared Dawn, well, I scared everybody. I also owe the food court money for destroying several of the tables."
"Were you hurt, pet?"
"No, nobody was."
"What set you off?"
"That's where we destroyed the Judge. I always feel a little bit angry when I walk through that area. Apparently the memory really set off my anger."
Spike winced, "Sorry, love."
"So anyway, not going to the mall until we figure out what's going on."
"Buffy, I'm going to tell you what I found out before the group comes over. You deserve to know first. Unless you want to hear it with everybody else."
"No, no, tell me."
"Well, love, you're becoming a goddess."
"What?" Buffy asked sharply. "Did I just hear you correctly?"
"Depends. What did you hear?"
"You said that I'm becoming a goddess."
"Then yeah, you heard correctly."
"How?"
"Sl-Buffy, I really don't know."
"Well, what do you know?"
"That it's part of your destiny. That this is the reason you died and came back. Oh, they're here. I'll explain the rest to everybody."
"Wait.wait, my destiny?!"
"Yeah."
Buffy didn't say anything, just growled with frustration.
Spike walked into the living room when he heard everybody come through the door. "Buffy's on the phone, so just sit down, and I'll tell you everything I know."
Everybody sat down and looked at him expectantly. Dawn wasn't there, she had stayed home to keep Buffy company. Spike took a breath, and then launched into the story. He started by explaining his visit with the seer, and finished with what he learned from the Holy Man.
When he was done, everybody stared at him, mouth open. Even Travers. Buffy was silent on her end of the line. Spike stared back, waiting for the inevitable questions that he didn't have answers for.
"So," Willow finally asked, "If you need to take half of Lilith from Buffy, and Buffy is becoming a Goddess, does that mean you will be a God?"
Spike paused. He had never thought of that, simply because it was far too preposterous and ridiculous.
"I don't know," he said slowly. "All I know is that I have to do this to save her. And I can't until I get my soul back."
"What powers will she have?" Anya asked.
Spike shrugged, "I told you guys everything I know."
"This is extraordinary," Giles breathed.
"You can't trust him. He doesn't know what he's talking about," Travers protested.
Spike glared at him, "Right now I have a lot more credibility than you do, wanker."
"Extraordinary," Giles repeated.
"Buffy? Are you still there?"
"I'm here," she said. "I..I just can't believe this. Are you sure?"
"As sure as I can be, pet."
"Spike, we think we know how to get your soul back."
Spike looked up, "How?" His tone was full of reserved hope.
Willow looked at Giles nervously, "Uh, well, promise you won't interrupt until we tell you everything."
"Ok."
"Giles, do you want to explain?" Willow offered.
"You go ahead, Willow."
Willow took a deep breath and then explained as quickly as she could, gauging Spike's emotions. By the time she was done, his face was set.
"Absolutely not," he said, just as Buffy yelled into the phone loud enough for everybody to hear, "No!"
Willow picked up the other phone, "Put Dawn on the phone in the kitchen," she instructed Buffy.
"What's up?" Dawn asked.
"Dawn, I think you should hear this too. We have figure out a way for Spike to get his soul back. We need you."
"Do I need to bleed?"
"No! No, nothing like that. Magic is basically knowing how to use energy and the elements. One way to neutralize any spell is to counteract the effects with energy."
"You want to use me to neutralize the spell?"
"No," Spike interrupted, "It's too risky."
Dawn ignored him. "How do you want to do it.
"We'll perform a small spell on you to show your aura, then we will send the soul into you. It'll make your aura glow another color, probably green. Once the aura returns to its natural color, we remove the soul and give it to Spike."
"That sounds dangerous," Buffy said.
"No, it's not," Willow rushed to assure them.
"How long will it last?"
"I don't know how long it will take. Anywhere from seconds to minutes."
"Will it hurt?"
"Probably. You will probably feel some of Spike's pain before the spell is destroyed. I don't know how much though."
"No!" Spike roared into the phone. The three girls pulled the receivers away from their ears and winced. "No," he repeated, this time not quite so loud. "I will not let you be at risk Dawn. I won't let you get hurt."
"Spike, I want to help," Dawn informed him.
"No. I'm not changing my mind about this."
"What about Buffy?" Willow demanded.
"What about her?"
"You said yourself that this is killing Buffy. That she has a whole destiny."
"Well, there's got to be another way."
"There isn't another way," Willow insisted. "Don't you think we've looked everywhere before we decided to tell you about it?"
"I don't like this, Willow," Buffy said quietly.
Spike growled. He absolutely refused to hurt his lil Bit. He'd let the world end first. But at the same time, he couldn't lose Buffy again. He just could not.
"I can't ask you to bear my sins, Niblet," Spike said softly.
"I can't lose Buffy again," Dawn pointed out. "I'm not just a child anymore. I think I can make my own decision."
"No," Buffy said, "You can't make this decision on your own. We'll talk about this now." And she hung up.
"I want to help, Spike." Then Dawn hung up too.
Spike slammed the phone down and stormed out of the house. "Where are you going?" Anya called after him.
"I need to think."