Chapter 13
Dawn sat in her room, waiting for Buffy to come in. She could hear her sister, in the hallway, pacing back and forth muttering under her breath. Rehearsing what she wanted to say.
Dawn already knew exactly what she wanted to do. She was going to do what needed to be done. She would cleanse Spike's soul. It would be a gift. She loved Spike, but it wouldn't be a gift to him. It would be a gift for Buffy.
Two years ago, Buffy sacrificed herself for Dawn. In the process she saved the world, but Dawn knew why she did it. She did it for the little sister that was technically less than a year old. The least Dawn could do is return the favor.
Buffy wouldn't want her to do it. And she knew that Spike would absolutely refuse to let her. But Dawn didn't think it was their decision anyway. It was her decision and she wasn't going to let Buffy die or Spike be miserable.
Dawn sighed and began brushing her hair. 'I want to shorten and lighten,' she thought absently. It was the ability to dismiss a life and death situation in the face of grooming techniques that separated teenage girls from the rest of the world. One moment she was wrapped up in her resolution to save her sister and Spike, the next she was weighing the benefits of coloring her hair.
She was so wrapped up in her hair that she failed to hear Buffy enter the room.
"Dawnie," she said gently, "How are you?"
Dawn spun around, surprised. "Buffy, I'm going to do it."
"You can't, you might get hurt. It's dangerous."
Dawn threw her hands in the air, "Life is dangerous. Going to school is dangerous. Every minute of my life as the Key and the slayer's sister is dangerous."
"That doesn't mean we need to heap more danger on top of it," Buffy protested.
"Buffy, you're miserable without Spike."
"So? You don't need to risk your life so that I can have a love interest!"
"Don't shout at me," Dawn said quietly. "Don't you shout at me. And you know this isn't just about Spike. You heard what he said. You'll die if we don't do this."
"We don't know that."
"But the chance is still there. Buffy, you can't leave me again."
"Dawnie.."
Tears sprung to Dawn's eyes. "I've always been so worthless. I mean, you've been training me to fight, but I'm not strong enough to patrol. You guys are like, bodyguards, because I always get hurt or kidnapped. I feel like I haven't been anything except a burden. And I finally have a chance to make it up to you!"
Buffy gently stroked her sister's hair. "No, Dawn. You're not worthless, you're not a burden. You're a girl. A normal, teen-age girl. A sweet, wonderful, beautiful, young woman. A young woman we all love very much."
Dawn took Buffy's hand, "And I love you. Please let me do something about it."
Buffy didn't know what to say.
***
Xander, Anya, Giles, Willow, and Travers all sat in the watcher's living room, silently.
'Goddess, Buffy is a Goddess, Buffy's always been a Goddess,' Xander thought, a little wildly. He felt almost giddy. One of his best friends was destined to become a Goddess. Then he stopped thinking of it in the abstract and it hit him, much the same way her death hit him, like a ton of bricks. "Shit," he breathed.
Giles was furiously wiping his glasses, but his eyes were distant. His brow was furrowed in concentration. His Slayer had such an amazing destiny-if he believed Spike. He had no real evidence that what Spike was telling them was the truth. He didn't talk to Spike's sources, and Spike didn't provide any other proof. All he had was a vampire's word.
Giles didn't know why Spike would lie about something like that, but there was a very strong chance that the vampire was simply mistaken. Giles tried to be open-minded. It was too risky to be otherwise on the Hellmouth. But at the end of the day, he still put his faith in his books, and none of his books mentioned anything like this. Giles was sure he would notice something as serious and as amazing as Buffy becoming a goddess.
And maybe Spike becoming a God. He thought this was completely silly, even more unlikely and absurd that Buffy's supposed destiny. Maybe he had made the whole thing up just so they would hurry and restore his soul. Spike wasn't known for his planning abilities, and maybe he didn't realize how absolutely absurd the implications of this whole mess is.
Giles' eyes fell on Travers. He looked just as shocked and confused as the rest of the group, and his reactions looked genuine. So either Spike really was pulling their legs, or Spike had found the real truth, uncorrupted by the Council's efforts to control and use the girls.
It never occurred to Willow to doubt Spike. Her head was spinning with ways to help them. She could tell he did not want to use Dawn, and she didn't want to make them. The last thing she wanted was to upset Buffy or hurt Dawn. Willow rubbed her eyes and concentrated.
There was just no way around this. None. Either they passed the soul through Dawn, or Spike had to prepare for an eternity without Buffy. And how would Buffy make it? Willow knew her friend well enough to know that she's spent the past month barely functioning at times, and it wasn't just because of a broken heart. She had confessed to Willow that it was almost impossible for her to control her emotions or impulses. She could go from screaming horrible threats at her sister and holding her and loving her in less than a minute. Willow knew this because she witnessed it. More than once.
Willow put on her resolve face. She was going to make this work if it killed her. She no longer felt guilty about pulling Buffy from heaven. If Spike was correct, than it was Willow's destiny to help Buffy meet hers. Willow could sense that she still had an important roll to play.
Travers was reeling from the news. He had very little reason to trust the blonde vampire. But if Spike was correct, than that meant that somehow, somewhere, the Council made a mistake. And that was absolutely unacceptable. There were many things that Quentin kept from his watchers, his Slayer, and his slayers-in-training, but was it possible that the higher-ups were keeping things from him? That was the only possible explanation because there was no way that a Slayer could be destined for something so large and the council be unaware of it.
Anya was simply bored.
***
Spike found himself standing on Buffy's block. He still felt in control of himself, so he didn't dare venture any closer to her house.
God he missed her. He missed her so much that he couldn't even think straight. He just wanted to hold her, feel her sun kissed skin against his cool body, touch her silken hair, kiss her soft, sweet lips, caress her face. He wanted to see her sweet hazel eyes and her wide, bright smile.
Was that smile worth causing Dawn pain? No. Was saving Buffy's life worth causing Dawn pain? No. Buffy wouldn't want that. She died for Dawn once before because Buffy was the hero and Dawn was not.
But Buffy was a hero with a destiny, a destiny greater than all of them put together. A destiny even greater than his love for the Niblet.
Spike took a drag from his cigarette and realized that he would allow Dawn to go through with this crazy scheme if she wanted to. Not for his sake though. Choosing between being with Buffy and Dawn's safety was a no- brainer. He made a promise to protect Dawn until the end of the world. But choosing between Buffy's life and Dawn's safety? He couldn't make that choice. He wouldn't make that choice. That was between his Slayer and her sister.
With that resolved, Spike turned to walk away when he heard the horrible screams coming from the Summers' residence. Without thinking of the possible ramifications of running blindly into Buffy's house, he threw the door open. His demon already surfacing.
He recognized the screams. They weren't Buffy's. They were Dawn's.
Dawn sat in her room, waiting for Buffy to come in. She could hear her sister, in the hallway, pacing back and forth muttering under her breath. Rehearsing what she wanted to say.
Dawn already knew exactly what she wanted to do. She was going to do what needed to be done. She would cleanse Spike's soul. It would be a gift. She loved Spike, but it wouldn't be a gift to him. It would be a gift for Buffy.
Two years ago, Buffy sacrificed herself for Dawn. In the process she saved the world, but Dawn knew why she did it. She did it for the little sister that was technically less than a year old. The least Dawn could do is return the favor.
Buffy wouldn't want her to do it. And she knew that Spike would absolutely refuse to let her. But Dawn didn't think it was their decision anyway. It was her decision and she wasn't going to let Buffy die or Spike be miserable.
Dawn sighed and began brushing her hair. 'I want to shorten and lighten,' she thought absently. It was the ability to dismiss a life and death situation in the face of grooming techniques that separated teenage girls from the rest of the world. One moment she was wrapped up in her resolution to save her sister and Spike, the next she was weighing the benefits of coloring her hair.
She was so wrapped up in her hair that she failed to hear Buffy enter the room.
"Dawnie," she said gently, "How are you?"
Dawn spun around, surprised. "Buffy, I'm going to do it."
"You can't, you might get hurt. It's dangerous."
Dawn threw her hands in the air, "Life is dangerous. Going to school is dangerous. Every minute of my life as the Key and the slayer's sister is dangerous."
"That doesn't mean we need to heap more danger on top of it," Buffy protested.
"Buffy, you're miserable without Spike."
"So? You don't need to risk your life so that I can have a love interest!"
"Don't shout at me," Dawn said quietly. "Don't you shout at me. And you know this isn't just about Spike. You heard what he said. You'll die if we don't do this."
"We don't know that."
"But the chance is still there. Buffy, you can't leave me again."
"Dawnie.."
Tears sprung to Dawn's eyes. "I've always been so worthless. I mean, you've been training me to fight, but I'm not strong enough to patrol. You guys are like, bodyguards, because I always get hurt or kidnapped. I feel like I haven't been anything except a burden. And I finally have a chance to make it up to you!"
Buffy gently stroked her sister's hair. "No, Dawn. You're not worthless, you're not a burden. You're a girl. A normal, teen-age girl. A sweet, wonderful, beautiful, young woman. A young woman we all love very much."
Dawn took Buffy's hand, "And I love you. Please let me do something about it."
Buffy didn't know what to say.
***
Xander, Anya, Giles, Willow, and Travers all sat in the watcher's living room, silently.
'Goddess, Buffy is a Goddess, Buffy's always been a Goddess,' Xander thought, a little wildly. He felt almost giddy. One of his best friends was destined to become a Goddess. Then he stopped thinking of it in the abstract and it hit him, much the same way her death hit him, like a ton of bricks. "Shit," he breathed.
Giles was furiously wiping his glasses, but his eyes were distant. His brow was furrowed in concentration. His Slayer had such an amazing destiny-if he believed Spike. He had no real evidence that what Spike was telling them was the truth. He didn't talk to Spike's sources, and Spike didn't provide any other proof. All he had was a vampire's word.
Giles didn't know why Spike would lie about something like that, but there was a very strong chance that the vampire was simply mistaken. Giles tried to be open-minded. It was too risky to be otherwise on the Hellmouth. But at the end of the day, he still put his faith in his books, and none of his books mentioned anything like this. Giles was sure he would notice something as serious and as amazing as Buffy becoming a goddess.
And maybe Spike becoming a God. He thought this was completely silly, even more unlikely and absurd that Buffy's supposed destiny. Maybe he had made the whole thing up just so they would hurry and restore his soul. Spike wasn't known for his planning abilities, and maybe he didn't realize how absolutely absurd the implications of this whole mess is.
Giles' eyes fell on Travers. He looked just as shocked and confused as the rest of the group, and his reactions looked genuine. So either Spike really was pulling their legs, or Spike had found the real truth, uncorrupted by the Council's efforts to control and use the girls.
It never occurred to Willow to doubt Spike. Her head was spinning with ways to help them. She could tell he did not want to use Dawn, and she didn't want to make them. The last thing she wanted was to upset Buffy or hurt Dawn. Willow rubbed her eyes and concentrated.
There was just no way around this. None. Either they passed the soul through Dawn, or Spike had to prepare for an eternity without Buffy. And how would Buffy make it? Willow knew her friend well enough to know that she's spent the past month barely functioning at times, and it wasn't just because of a broken heart. She had confessed to Willow that it was almost impossible for her to control her emotions or impulses. She could go from screaming horrible threats at her sister and holding her and loving her in less than a minute. Willow knew this because she witnessed it. More than once.
Willow put on her resolve face. She was going to make this work if it killed her. She no longer felt guilty about pulling Buffy from heaven. If Spike was correct, than it was Willow's destiny to help Buffy meet hers. Willow could sense that she still had an important roll to play.
Travers was reeling from the news. He had very little reason to trust the blonde vampire. But if Spike was correct, than that meant that somehow, somewhere, the Council made a mistake. And that was absolutely unacceptable. There were many things that Quentin kept from his watchers, his Slayer, and his slayers-in-training, but was it possible that the higher-ups were keeping things from him? That was the only possible explanation because there was no way that a Slayer could be destined for something so large and the council be unaware of it.
Anya was simply bored.
***
Spike found himself standing on Buffy's block. He still felt in control of himself, so he didn't dare venture any closer to her house.
God he missed her. He missed her so much that he couldn't even think straight. He just wanted to hold her, feel her sun kissed skin against his cool body, touch her silken hair, kiss her soft, sweet lips, caress her face. He wanted to see her sweet hazel eyes and her wide, bright smile.
Was that smile worth causing Dawn pain? No. Was saving Buffy's life worth causing Dawn pain? No. Buffy wouldn't want that. She died for Dawn once before because Buffy was the hero and Dawn was not.
But Buffy was a hero with a destiny, a destiny greater than all of them put together. A destiny even greater than his love for the Niblet.
Spike took a drag from his cigarette and realized that he would allow Dawn to go through with this crazy scheme if she wanted to. Not for his sake though. Choosing between being with Buffy and Dawn's safety was a no- brainer. He made a promise to protect Dawn until the end of the world. But choosing between Buffy's life and Dawn's safety? He couldn't make that choice. He wouldn't make that choice. That was between his Slayer and her sister.
With that resolved, Spike turned to walk away when he heard the horrible screams coming from the Summers' residence. Without thinking of the possible ramifications of running blindly into Buffy's house, he threw the door open. His demon already surfacing.
He recognized the screams. They weren't Buffy's. They were Dawn's.