"Spike?" Buffy called out tentatively. "You here?"
Buffy was extremely nervous. Her senses were telling her that there was nothing at all surrounding her. It seemed that she was nowhere, floating freely in the inky blackness of nothing. At that thought, she panicked and she called again for Spike, this time louder.
She didn't get a response, nor did she expect one. She couldn't feel him at all, not even a little bit.
"Anybody?" She tried to move, to seek somebody out-and maybe beat him or her up for dragging her to this void of darkness-but found that her body wasn't responding to her thoughts. Not even a little bit. She was left to wonder if she had a body at all. She vaguely remembered being in heaven, and it was kind of like this. There was no form, but it wasn't as dark and as empty. She wasn't lost or confused or alone.
"Ok, I must still have my body, because I can talk, right?" Only, Buffy couldn't tell if she was really talking out loud or just thinking the words. She concentrated very hard-were her eyes closed?-on Spike and tried to reach him, and felt a glimmer in response. It was small, but it gave her hope.
"Where am I?"
"A quiet place." The voice was low and calm, soothing. Buffy knew that if she listened to it long enough it could lull her to sleep. It sounded like soft, cotton blankets fresh from the dryer, like hot showers after long patrols, like gently sung lullabies.
"Why am I here? Who are you?"
"So many questions. You miss your vampire, no?"
"Is he here?"
The voice didn't respond, but it didn't need to. "Slayer? Buffy? Where are you?"
"Spike! I'm here.somewhere. Can you see anything?"
"No."
"You are here to think and to talk."
"Huh?"
The Voice seemed to be infinitively patient and wise, and Buffy instinctually trusted it. "This is part of a trial."
"I've had enough bloody trials!" Spike announced angrily.
The Voice continued, ignoring the blonde's outburst. "You must talk to each other about your pasts, your mistakes, apologies, dreams, everything."
"Past? Apologies? We've already done that," Buffy stated.
"No, you both keep too much back. You **must** talk to each other. You will not leave this place until everything is settled."
"Why?" Spike demanded, though honestly, he wasn't too angry about the situation. He'd take advantage of any time to talk to Buffy.
"You will learn in good time."
"Why here? Why not at home over some hot chocolate or something?" Buffy asked.
"There are no distractions here. There is no time. You don't even have bodies to distract each other. There are only your words and thoughts."
"Where is here?"
"You are between dimensions. You have been given a great gift. Use it wisely." And then the Voice was gone, leaving only the spirits of the Slayer and the Vampire.
"This is all your fault, you know," Buffy pouted.
"Me? How is it my fault?"
"You were going on and on about how boring and normal everything was. You practically jinxed us!"
Spike snorted, "Whatever, Slayer. So, now what?"
"We talk, I guess."
"What do you want to talk about?"
Buffy sighed, "I don't know. I mean, when was the last time we had time to actually have a full conversation?"
"Never?"
"I bet all you have to talk about is how many people you killed."
Spike sighed, "Yeah, because that's all I'm about. I don't have hobbies, or layers, or thoughts. Just kill, kill, kill."
"Well, yeah."
"No, Buffy, I'm not that way."
"Ok, maybe not now, since you have the soul."
"No, Buffy, not ever. But you never wanted to see that."
"So you're telling me that when you were the Big Bad, you had more thoughts than just murder and torture?"
"Of course."
"Like what?"
Spike paused. He got the impression that when the Voice said they needed to settle everything, it meant **everything**. Besides, he didn't want to lie to Buffy. "I like to read poetry."
Buffy wasn't shocked; she had seen the books lying around his crypt. "Ok, so massacring and reading. What else?"
"Buffy, I killed a lot of people. I know I did. But I was a vampire."
"Was?"
"Ok, am. But I was different then. Did you bring up Angel's past every time you talked to him?"
"Don't talk about Angel," she said softly.
Spike mentally rolled his eyes. "Oh sorry, didn't realize the precious ponce was off-limits."
"He's dead."
"Uh, yeah, you killed him."
"I know."
"Buffy, you thought you had to."
"I know I had to. It doesn't make it any better."
"Are you going to answer my question?"
"What? Oh. No, I didn't bring it up every time I talked to him."
"Not even after his stint as Angelus?"
"No, not even after that. But..but that was different?"
"How was it different, Buffy? Tell me."
"I don't know."
"Buffy, if you keep avoiding the conversation, we'll be here forever."
"Because I loved him."
Spike struggled to keep his voice even. No good jumping to conclusions-even if they are obvious conclusions. "But not me?"
"No! Of course I love you. But I was just 16 when I loved him, Spike. I still believed in that my charming prince was coming to sweep me away to my happily ever after. Angel wasn't just a vampire, he was the embodiment of every childish fantasy I've ever had!"
In an odd way, that soothed him. "So you're saying that you didn't view him as a vampire at all? Jesus Buffy, you barely saw him as a man!"
"Look, I doubt we're here to discuss Angel."
"No, I bet that's exactly while we're here."
"What are you talking about?"
"He's always been hanging over my head. You may have killed him, but he's not gone."
"What?"
"You're constantly comparing me to your precious Angel. I'm not good enough, or bad enough, or mysterious enough, or whatever else you need from me! Angelus was not the end-all and be-all of vampires, Slayer. You would know that if you bothered to open your eyes once in awhile!"
Buffy was surprised by his outburst. "How long has that been building?"
"Couple years. But you can't deny it." "I know..I did that a lot, at first. Compare the two of you. But Spike, you two are nothing alike, and I realized that fairly quickly."
"Oh of course," he said bitterly, "nothing like Angel. Bet that didn't work out in my favor."
"Well, no," she admitted, "not at first."
A/N-Due to circumstances out of my control, I'm posting the first part of this chapter now, and the last part later tonight or tomorrow. Hope you enjoy it.
Buffy was extremely nervous. Her senses were telling her that there was nothing at all surrounding her. It seemed that she was nowhere, floating freely in the inky blackness of nothing. At that thought, she panicked and she called again for Spike, this time louder.
She didn't get a response, nor did she expect one. She couldn't feel him at all, not even a little bit.
"Anybody?" She tried to move, to seek somebody out-and maybe beat him or her up for dragging her to this void of darkness-but found that her body wasn't responding to her thoughts. Not even a little bit. She was left to wonder if she had a body at all. She vaguely remembered being in heaven, and it was kind of like this. There was no form, but it wasn't as dark and as empty. She wasn't lost or confused or alone.
"Ok, I must still have my body, because I can talk, right?" Only, Buffy couldn't tell if she was really talking out loud or just thinking the words. She concentrated very hard-were her eyes closed?-on Spike and tried to reach him, and felt a glimmer in response. It was small, but it gave her hope.
"Where am I?"
"A quiet place." The voice was low and calm, soothing. Buffy knew that if she listened to it long enough it could lull her to sleep. It sounded like soft, cotton blankets fresh from the dryer, like hot showers after long patrols, like gently sung lullabies.
"Why am I here? Who are you?"
"So many questions. You miss your vampire, no?"
"Is he here?"
The voice didn't respond, but it didn't need to. "Slayer? Buffy? Where are you?"
"Spike! I'm here.somewhere. Can you see anything?"
"No."
"You are here to think and to talk."
"Huh?"
The Voice seemed to be infinitively patient and wise, and Buffy instinctually trusted it. "This is part of a trial."
"I've had enough bloody trials!" Spike announced angrily.
The Voice continued, ignoring the blonde's outburst. "You must talk to each other about your pasts, your mistakes, apologies, dreams, everything."
"Past? Apologies? We've already done that," Buffy stated.
"No, you both keep too much back. You **must** talk to each other. You will not leave this place until everything is settled."
"Why?" Spike demanded, though honestly, he wasn't too angry about the situation. He'd take advantage of any time to talk to Buffy.
"You will learn in good time."
"Why here? Why not at home over some hot chocolate or something?" Buffy asked.
"There are no distractions here. There is no time. You don't even have bodies to distract each other. There are only your words and thoughts."
"Where is here?"
"You are between dimensions. You have been given a great gift. Use it wisely." And then the Voice was gone, leaving only the spirits of the Slayer and the Vampire.
"This is all your fault, you know," Buffy pouted.
"Me? How is it my fault?"
"You were going on and on about how boring and normal everything was. You practically jinxed us!"
Spike snorted, "Whatever, Slayer. So, now what?"
"We talk, I guess."
"What do you want to talk about?"
Buffy sighed, "I don't know. I mean, when was the last time we had time to actually have a full conversation?"
"Never?"
"I bet all you have to talk about is how many people you killed."
Spike sighed, "Yeah, because that's all I'm about. I don't have hobbies, or layers, or thoughts. Just kill, kill, kill."
"Well, yeah."
"No, Buffy, I'm not that way."
"Ok, maybe not now, since you have the soul."
"No, Buffy, not ever. But you never wanted to see that."
"So you're telling me that when you were the Big Bad, you had more thoughts than just murder and torture?"
"Of course."
"Like what?"
Spike paused. He got the impression that when the Voice said they needed to settle everything, it meant **everything**. Besides, he didn't want to lie to Buffy. "I like to read poetry."
Buffy wasn't shocked; she had seen the books lying around his crypt. "Ok, so massacring and reading. What else?"
"Buffy, I killed a lot of people. I know I did. But I was a vampire."
"Was?"
"Ok, am. But I was different then. Did you bring up Angel's past every time you talked to him?"
"Don't talk about Angel," she said softly.
Spike mentally rolled his eyes. "Oh sorry, didn't realize the precious ponce was off-limits."
"He's dead."
"Uh, yeah, you killed him."
"I know."
"Buffy, you thought you had to."
"I know I had to. It doesn't make it any better."
"Are you going to answer my question?"
"What? Oh. No, I didn't bring it up every time I talked to him."
"Not even after his stint as Angelus?"
"No, not even after that. But..but that was different?"
"How was it different, Buffy? Tell me."
"I don't know."
"Buffy, if you keep avoiding the conversation, we'll be here forever."
"Because I loved him."
Spike struggled to keep his voice even. No good jumping to conclusions-even if they are obvious conclusions. "But not me?"
"No! Of course I love you. But I was just 16 when I loved him, Spike. I still believed in that my charming prince was coming to sweep me away to my happily ever after. Angel wasn't just a vampire, he was the embodiment of every childish fantasy I've ever had!"
In an odd way, that soothed him. "So you're saying that you didn't view him as a vampire at all? Jesus Buffy, you barely saw him as a man!"
"Look, I doubt we're here to discuss Angel."
"No, I bet that's exactly while we're here."
"What are you talking about?"
"He's always been hanging over my head. You may have killed him, but he's not gone."
"What?"
"You're constantly comparing me to your precious Angel. I'm not good enough, or bad enough, or mysterious enough, or whatever else you need from me! Angelus was not the end-all and be-all of vampires, Slayer. You would know that if you bothered to open your eyes once in awhile!"
Buffy was surprised by his outburst. "How long has that been building?"
"Couple years. But you can't deny it." "I know..I did that a lot, at first. Compare the two of you. But Spike, you two are nothing alike, and I realized that fairly quickly."
"Oh of course," he said bitterly, "nothing like Angel. Bet that didn't work out in my favor."
"Well, no," she admitted, "not at first."
A/N-Due to circumstances out of my control, I'm posting the first part of this chapter now, and the last part later tonight or tomorrow. Hope you enjoy it.