The Diaries
The diaries of key characters from Star Wars have been stolen and made public. In chapter 1 the events of episode II unfolded in Anakin Skywalker's eyes. In this chapter its the turn of...
The Diary of Obi-wan-Kenobi
Page 1
We were commanded by the Jedi Council to protect a politician. I can't see why the council is so concerned its just a Senator. My young padawan learner wanted to start an investigation for a POLITICIAN. I ignored this as just his naievity but then later he said being around the Senator was intoxicating. Well I cleared up that, ranted about politicians and THEN he said he thought Palpatine was a good man!!!! Some chosen one he is.
Page 2
Well last night, I did everythin that involved flying. I bravely rid a dangerous probe, engaged in a courageous and perilous speeder chase AND disarmed an assasin! Oh Ok Anakin helped a tiny bit. But it was me doing all the IMPORTANT things. And today the Jedi Council ordered me to do an investigation for a POLITICIAN. I'll teach her, wait until she is sleeping, silently ignite my lightsaber and-! No thats the dark side talking. Calm and sophisticated I am, calm, sophisticated and good.Ahh.
Page 3
I went and harassed Dex today, he knew exactly what it was, a Kamino Saber Dart! But when I looked for Kamino in the archives, it wasn't there! That stuffy old archive lady told me that if Kamino wasn't in the archives, it didn't exist! I bet she deleted it, I always knew she was a Sith. With lack of anything else to do I went to see Yoda, fat help he was, talked to me like I was a baby and took me into a crowd of horrible leering children. As bad as politicians they are children, as bad as politicians.
Page 4
Kamino is quiet a nice place, sunny sky, warm beachs, tall shady trees, great hotels, not a cloning facilitie in sight in fact! Oh wait thats Caribea. Kamino is a terrible place, rainy and dark with a huge cloning facilitie and anorexic staff. Not only that but there was a Bounty Hunter there, who almost killed me! I was better than him of course bugged his ship. I followed him to Geonosis where I alone fought him in a destructive battle, before tricking him. I then landed on Geonosis where I am writing this now. I'm just going to-to aaaaah aaaah AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Page 5
I am now being held prisoner in a compound on Geonosis, but I still have my diarie! Count Dooku it turns out has a beard! Count Dooku also has white hair! And Count Dooku is a POLITICAL IDEALIST in short a POLITICIAN!
Page 6
Oh yeah and he's a Sith, but who really cares about that stuff anyway?
Page 7
Hah ha I RULE!!!! Me, Anakin and Padme were being executed but I so totally saved them and then there was a huge battle and I tried to get Padme 'accidently' killed with my lightsaber but Anakin was too close. I hate it when he does that.
Page 8
ANAKIN'S HAND ANAKIN'S HAND HIS BEAUTIFUL HAND!!! THAT STUPID ARROGANT POLITICIAN CUT OFF HIS HAND!!! GO YODA GO YODA GO YODA!!!!
Page 9
I was in the jedi temple and Yoda was rattling on about something or other and I told him that it wouldn't have been a victory without the clones. And Yoda just rattled on. Rattler.
Page 10
I saw Anakin getting married, he thought he was safe from me, but his new wife may just slip onto my lightsaber sometime. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!