Warning: There is some Padme bashing in here, but not much.
The Diaries
The diaries of many Star Wars characters have been stolen and made public. In chapter 1 Anakin Skywalker told his story of how his search for Padme's perfume led him from Coruscant to Naboo, from Naboo to Tattooine, from Tattooine to Geonosia and from Geonosia back to Naboo. And in chapter 2 the fact of Obi-wan's hate of politicians was revealed. But what secrets lurk in...
The Diary of Senator Padme Amidala
Page 1
My decoy died! She was blown to smithereens just like that. Oh well I never liked her anyway, I acted sad naturally so that my loyal subjects would not think that I'm a heartless cow. But I am HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHAH! Ani came back to me today. I knew he couldn't go for long without the taste of my perfume. Well ten years isn't long to Yoda is it? But if their watching me day and night how am I supposed to sneak off to Kamino to have my age genetically altered? Hmm questions so many questions.
Page 2
Me and Ani are leaving for Naboo, I'm supposed to disguise myself as a refugee so I'll just put on my white satin gown with black lacing and my special hat and vale to match. And there I look like a Queen...er...of refugees.
Page 3
Today was hectic, I kissed Ani! And I got a letter from Jar Jar! I may have to kill him because of the spelling mistakes.
dear Padme
Hoping yousa is having a wonduful time with Ani. Mesa isa having a few itsy bitsy probilems. Numbur wun, mesa is having bombad responsibilities, filling in for yu is so difficult. Numbur too, mesa is having so many problems when trying to write! People say mesa's spellin isant good! It is good wright?
Yours sincerly
Jar Jar
I wrote a simple reply so as to refrain from sending a death threat.
Dear Jar Jar
No
From Padme
P.S DI...
I finished off the day by refusing to tell Ani where I get my perfume. And the ultimate lie "WE LIVE IN A REAL WORLD!!!" God I have got to stop lieing!
Page 4
Gone to Tattooine to supposedly 'Find Ani's mother' yeah right, HE WANTS THAT PERFUME!!!!!
Page 5
The funeral was so sad. I almost cryed, but then a fly flew into my tear ducts. Stupid fly.
Page 6
We flew to Geonosia and got caught red handed. Literally I accidently stuck my hand into some red paint. We were then taken out to execution, on the way I became immensely attracted to Anakin. I only saw the can of love potion bodyspray after I kissed him. I slashed my back with a metal chain, but I recovered from the immense pain after a couple of seconds. Miraculous what fear can do to you.
Page 7
It was so romantic, Anakin was protecting me in the battle. I was so attracted to him! Then I saw him respraying his love potion bodyspray again. Hmph!
Page 8
I fell off the ship, and I didn't die! Hahahahahah very nice of me a swift landing, graceful, timed, perfect. I was knocked unconscious gently because of my skill.
Page 9
ANAKIN'S HAND ANAKIN'S HAND HIS BEAUTIFUL HAND! THAT ARROGANT COUNT WITH A BAD DRESS SENSE CUT OFF ANAKIN'S HAND! GO YODA GO YODA GO YODA GO YODA!
Page 10
I told Anakin where I really get my perfume, he was so pleased we had
a ceremony. I noticed a camera on one of the flowers though. Could somebody
be watching us? NAHHHH!