I never knew what time it was within the white, confined room I was kept
in, but why would I need to? I do know it was especially early when I fell
asleep yesterday, however, because the asylum was still smoldering hot.
The air conditioner had broken down due to being overworked; it has been a
really hot summer. I loved it, made me feel human as my ass stuck to the
plastic covering my cot. But in this heat, all you can really do is sleep,
or at least lye and gaze at the stucco ceiling, envisioning kittens and
puppies.
Gotta love those yellow pills.
Normally, I don't dream with such heat, but I did this day. I dreamt Tyler was real, and Tyler and I were next-door neighbors. We were great friends. The friend I always wished for, Tyler was. Only, he had Marla. I, well, all I had was a little bitch of a poodle. How I hated that poodle, it always pissed on my Yin/Yang shaped table, of course my favorite piece of Swedish furniture. Damn poodle.
Next thing I know, I'm splashed with water, cold fucking water, and Tyler is standing over me.
'Is this still the dream?'
"Of course not, fuck head." Tyler walked back and forth, watching me as I stumbled to my feet, but I couldn't get up, a sharp pain shot through my senses. My leg, it hurt so bad, felt like some creature was gnawing on it. Looking down, I saw it in a splint, blood everywhere, and swollen like a fucker. "Hurts, don't it?"
"What did you do to me?" But as the words came out of my mouth, I realized I was no longer in my safe padded room, but in some dark, dank place. It reeked of urine and death. I looked back at Tyler, who was laughing at me. "Where am I? What the fuck did you do this time?"
"I'm saving us. Now we don't have to take those pills which slowly kill me, we don't have to have the same mashed potatoes and shit, we are free again, and being free means being able to start Fight Club back up again." He walked over to a bag, which had a hazardous sign on it.
"You're crazy Tyler! You know I wont go along this time, I wont allow you to do this." He came back over to me and grabbed for my arm, which I promptly tore away.
"Stop struggling, this will help the pain." He fought with me for only a few seconds, but I was too weak to keep it up and he thrusted a needle into my right arm. "Haven't I always taken care of you? What have I done for you to distrust me so?" He got off of my chest and took a step back. I slowly tried to pull myself over to the nearest wall so I had something to brace myself on to get up. "Fuck, why are you so difficult to me? All I have done was give you a better life, a life worth living, and you know it." He walked over my mangled leg and squatted down. "Look, I need you, I need you just as much as you need me," his blue eyes stared in mine like an eagle looks at its' prey, "but we have to work together if we are going to make our friendship better. You do want us the way we were before, don't you? That unconditional love I gave you, don't you miss that?"
"Tyler, you're crazy. I'm crazy." His face had a hurt expression swept over it, which was quickly changed into anger as he slapped me.
"Fuck you, Fuck you!" He got back up and walked to the other side of the room, then came back, then returned to the other side again in his pacing. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? You gave me freedom, and now I want more. I want to finish my work, don't you see?" He came back over to me, pleading eyes meeting again with my own. "We can't truly be free until we have deconstructed civilization as we know it, you know that's the truth. We have to finish what we started."
"No, Tyler, we don't. I'm through with that idea, I'm through with fight club." He took a step back, peering down on me, with a scowl of a smile, quite devious, and laughed.
"That's the brilliant part; we don't have to do anything with fight club, we don't have to restart the mission, we don't have to recreate the same teams of space monkeys. They never ceased their training, they continued fight club on their own. They still create and complete project mayhem homework, all on their own! Can you imagine?" He stopped and gave me a genuine smile, the one that you would kill for, and then kneeled next to me, taking my face into his hands, his surprisingly warm hands. "You did the best thing for us by being put in that jail of a place. The publicity was unbelievable."
"You," He laughed as he rubbed my face gently with his thumb, "you kept Fight Club alive." I looked at him in horror, instantly knowing what he meant. "The people out there, the hundred or so fight clubs full of Space Monkeys, are waiting for their savor, for their new god, Tyler. But its you, don't you understand? You did all this, whether you fight it or not, you continue to purposely plan things so it always goes your way in the long run. You are going to be the one who finally reestablishes the new world order, with peace, and prosperity, and all around blissfulness."
By this time I was wheeling with thoughts in my head, all wanting to deny responsibility. But it came down to the same thing every time, Tyler was right, I was right. Everything Tyler said kept re[eating itself in my head, and it was starting to make sense to me, I was realizing Tyler's visions.
"Imagine it, just as I always have dreamt, we will bring humans back to what they are meant to be, the keepers of this earth. We were put here to protect it, but instead all we do is fuck it up. Not anymore. No, we will make it so gray slate buildings will become the new caves for fruit bats in South America, School grounds the new hunting pastures of Cougars in North America. Vines and flowers of all types will eventually take root, making the cities we live in now into towered forests. Damns will be torn down to make way for the soon to be flourishing again fish. All is possible, and will be done. Be done because of you, you will be mother earth."
I gave him a queer look, "Mother earth?"
"Fine, fucking FATHER earth! It doesn't matter; you will be worshipped across the planet, forever. Of course you will forever more be referred to as 'Sir'." He laughed again. "Can you picture it? In the future they will have 'Books of the Sir,' your very own bible! You will be looked upon as God, eventually you will be God, they wont know any other such deity." I thought about all this with untainted disgust, and found it ultimately distasteful to think of such things…but the more I thought, the more I liked it.
'I? God?' it did sound great, and was completely possible, no doubt about that. Tyler would figure it out, he had plans.
No, scratch that, I had plans.
Gotta love those yellow pills.
Normally, I don't dream with such heat, but I did this day. I dreamt Tyler was real, and Tyler and I were next-door neighbors. We were great friends. The friend I always wished for, Tyler was. Only, he had Marla. I, well, all I had was a little bitch of a poodle. How I hated that poodle, it always pissed on my Yin/Yang shaped table, of course my favorite piece of Swedish furniture. Damn poodle.
Next thing I know, I'm splashed with water, cold fucking water, and Tyler is standing over me.
'Is this still the dream?'
"Of course not, fuck head." Tyler walked back and forth, watching me as I stumbled to my feet, but I couldn't get up, a sharp pain shot through my senses. My leg, it hurt so bad, felt like some creature was gnawing on it. Looking down, I saw it in a splint, blood everywhere, and swollen like a fucker. "Hurts, don't it?"
"What did you do to me?" But as the words came out of my mouth, I realized I was no longer in my safe padded room, but in some dark, dank place. It reeked of urine and death. I looked back at Tyler, who was laughing at me. "Where am I? What the fuck did you do this time?"
"I'm saving us. Now we don't have to take those pills which slowly kill me, we don't have to have the same mashed potatoes and shit, we are free again, and being free means being able to start Fight Club back up again." He walked over to a bag, which had a hazardous sign on it.
"You're crazy Tyler! You know I wont go along this time, I wont allow you to do this." He came back over to me and grabbed for my arm, which I promptly tore away.
"Stop struggling, this will help the pain." He fought with me for only a few seconds, but I was too weak to keep it up and he thrusted a needle into my right arm. "Haven't I always taken care of you? What have I done for you to distrust me so?" He got off of my chest and took a step back. I slowly tried to pull myself over to the nearest wall so I had something to brace myself on to get up. "Fuck, why are you so difficult to me? All I have done was give you a better life, a life worth living, and you know it." He walked over my mangled leg and squatted down. "Look, I need you, I need you just as much as you need me," his blue eyes stared in mine like an eagle looks at its' prey, "but we have to work together if we are going to make our friendship better. You do want us the way we were before, don't you? That unconditional love I gave you, don't you miss that?"
"Tyler, you're crazy. I'm crazy." His face had a hurt expression swept over it, which was quickly changed into anger as he slapped me.
"Fuck you, Fuck you!" He got back up and walked to the other side of the room, then came back, then returned to the other side again in his pacing. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? You gave me freedom, and now I want more. I want to finish my work, don't you see?" He came back over to me, pleading eyes meeting again with my own. "We can't truly be free until we have deconstructed civilization as we know it, you know that's the truth. We have to finish what we started."
"No, Tyler, we don't. I'm through with that idea, I'm through with fight club." He took a step back, peering down on me, with a scowl of a smile, quite devious, and laughed.
"That's the brilliant part; we don't have to do anything with fight club, we don't have to restart the mission, we don't have to recreate the same teams of space monkeys. They never ceased their training, they continued fight club on their own. They still create and complete project mayhem homework, all on their own! Can you imagine?" He stopped and gave me a genuine smile, the one that you would kill for, and then kneeled next to me, taking my face into his hands, his surprisingly warm hands. "You did the best thing for us by being put in that jail of a place. The publicity was unbelievable."
"You," He laughed as he rubbed my face gently with his thumb, "you kept Fight Club alive." I looked at him in horror, instantly knowing what he meant. "The people out there, the hundred or so fight clubs full of Space Monkeys, are waiting for their savor, for their new god, Tyler. But its you, don't you understand? You did all this, whether you fight it or not, you continue to purposely plan things so it always goes your way in the long run. You are going to be the one who finally reestablishes the new world order, with peace, and prosperity, and all around blissfulness."
By this time I was wheeling with thoughts in my head, all wanting to deny responsibility. But it came down to the same thing every time, Tyler was right, I was right. Everything Tyler said kept re[eating itself in my head, and it was starting to make sense to me, I was realizing Tyler's visions.
"Imagine it, just as I always have dreamt, we will bring humans back to what they are meant to be, the keepers of this earth. We were put here to protect it, but instead all we do is fuck it up. Not anymore. No, we will make it so gray slate buildings will become the new caves for fruit bats in South America, School grounds the new hunting pastures of Cougars in North America. Vines and flowers of all types will eventually take root, making the cities we live in now into towered forests. Damns will be torn down to make way for the soon to be flourishing again fish. All is possible, and will be done. Be done because of you, you will be mother earth."
I gave him a queer look, "Mother earth?"
"Fine, fucking FATHER earth! It doesn't matter; you will be worshipped across the planet, forever. Of course you will forever more be referred to as 'Sir'." He laughed again. "Can you picture it? In the future they will have 'Books of the Sir,' your very own bible! You will be looked upon as God, eventually you will be God, they wont know any other such deity." I thought about all this with untainted disgust, and found it ultimately distasteful to think of such things…but the more I thought, the more I liked it.
'I? God?' it did sound great, and was completely possible, no doubt about that. Tyler would figure it out, he had plans.
No, scratch that, I had plans.