Paint the Sky with Stars
--by Egon Starcollector
Disclaimer: I don't own HP, "Weird Al" Yankovic, or 'Hee Haw.' I just have a sick mind. ;)
That night, Stacy said her prayers, climbed into bed, and fell almost instantly asleep. The next thing she knew, she was in Potions class. Professor Snape strode in wearing a yellow plastic jumpsuit--and proceeded to break into "Weird Al" Yankovic's song "Dare to Be Stupid." Suddenly, Parvati Patil jumped onto the stage (*Waitaminute, what stage?*) with him and started snoring into the microphone.
Stacy awakened with a start, only to find that Parvati really WAS snoring. *Gah, she sounds like she's sawing redwoods!*
Stacy turned over, readjusted her pillow, and went back to sleep.
"Welcome to Hogwarts Hee-Haw!" Purple curtains parted to reveal Professor Dumbledore and Professor Hagrid sitting on stools, doing the "pickin' and grinnin'" instead of Buck Owens and Roy Clark. The Hee Haw Honeys were two dozen veela, while Professor Flitwick filled in for Grandpa Jones and Professor McGonagall--in a monstrous hat!--played Minnie Pearl. *This is sick...just sick!* her mind screamed. But it wasn't over yet. Justin-- wearing a buckskin coat and singing John Denver songs--was the headliner, with Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Dean as his backup band. But the special guest stars were two manticores dressed like Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson who sang "Good-Hearted Woman" and then ate the audience.
Stacy was more than glad to wake up from that one. *Great. Now my subconscious does parodies.*
She sat up, annoyed. Bad enough she was wide awake, but now her dreams were bugging her. She only had dreams that weird under two circumstances: when she was feverish or when she was stressed. She checked her forehead. Not a sign of fever. That meant she was tense--either that, or she'd finally gone 'round the bend.
Then again, she had plenty to be tense about. Her sweet and fluffy romance with Justin had suddenly developed some unneeded steam...and now they were fighting about it. Wasn't studying for her Apparition license enough? Actually, weren't her regular classes enough? Or relocating to another country? Or...okay, enough already. No sense feeling sorry for herself. She stretched and leaned back, ready for another go at sleep.
And then, she heard something.
A sniffle. A gasp. A choked sob. Somebody was crying.
Somebody...who sounded an awful lot like Hermione.
This was not good. Stacy didn't know Hermione all that well, but she didn't seem like the kind of girl to cry a lot. And that was bothersome. Stacy liked having a girl cousin her own age--a fellow witch, no less!--so she'd quite taken to Hermione. Therefore, Stacy didn't like hearing her cousin cry.
She climbed out of bed. After the third or fourth attempt, she managed to get her feet into her slippers. She stood up and staggered across the room...and staggered right into her nightstand. She sucked in her breath sharply as she hopped around on her right foot, clutching her left toes and biting back a few choice words.
Being human was not for wussies, that was for sure. All those little problems stemming from imperfection...bruises and what-have-you. At times like this, Stacy ALMOST wished she were a Mary Sue in a poorly-written fanfiction. Mary Sue, the chronically perky, pretty, and perfect. But Stacy didn't do perky. She was not, in her estimation, pretty. (She couldn't figure out how she and Hermione could look so much alike--yet the face could be so much more flattering to Hermione.) And she blinking well wasn't perfect.
Mary Sue wouldn't have punched Malfoy. Or blown up at Justin. Or had a bad day. Or had weird psycho dreams. Or stubbed her toes.
"Hermione, quit that sniveling! I need my beauty sleep!" Or launched into protective mode and given serious thought to drowning Parvati in the sink.
Mary Sue was perfect. Stacy was human.
Stacy decided she hated Mary Sues--and Mary Sue writers--as a species.
However, Mary Sue would've known what to say to Hermione--and to Stacy's dismay, she hadn't the faintest clue how to help her cousin feel better.
"H'mione...wassamatter?" *Oh, great start. I sound drunk!*
"Harry...."
"What? What's wrong? What'd he do?"
"N-nothing...he's wonderful...it's just...I had the most awful nightmare...."
"Sh, sh, it's okay...." Stacy pulled Hermione into a hug and rocked her gently, sitting on the edge of the bed. "What happened?"
"Volde--He Who Must Not Be Named--came after him...and did horrible things to all the Muggle-borns...and then killed Harry with his bare hands...oh! Oh! Oh!"
Stacy held her cousin tightly, not sure what to say. Though she didn't like to think about it, Hermione's nightmare could too easily be prophetic-- especially here in Europe. In the States, it didn't seem like so much of a threat. But here....
"Honey, it was just a nightmare. You know Harry will stop him...that's what he was born to do, wasn't it?"
"I know...but sometimes...it's just so hard to be in love with that boy."
"You mean...?"
"No, I'm not breaking up with him. It just...hurts...."
Stacy cradled Hermione gently, stroking her hair and trying not to cry herself. It wasn't fair that Harry should have such a burden on such skinny shoulders...or that Hermione should have a burden that was just as heavy because she loved him.
Unfortunately, life wasn't fair.
The next night, Professor Jupiter was already in the Astronomy Tower when Stacy got to class. Blast. She leaned over and whispered to Justin, "Could we take a walk after supper?"
"S-sure."
Stacy tried not to make it too obvious that she was hurrying through her leg of lamb, biscuits, and green beans amandine. But, she was one of the first Gryffindors to finish her supper.
She had just enough time to retrieve her heavy cloak, put it on, and run back to the Great Hall. Justin met her at the base of the moving stairs. "Ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
They walked in near-silence for a while, speaking in monosyllables. Finally, she asked him about something that bothered her. "Um...why doesn't Hogwarts have a chapel?" *Way to avoid the subject, Stacy.*
"Hm? Well, it did have one. However, it burned down in the seventeenth century and was never rebuilt."
"I wonder why?"
He shrugged. "Don't know. Would you like to see where it was, though?"
"Sure!"
He lead her around the castle to a spot near Slytherin Tower. "The ruins are right here...there really isn't much left. Watch where you step; it's sunken in a bit."
She followed behind him, careful to match his steps as closely as possible. To her surprise, she suddenly saw the remains of a large stone foundation. Most of the foundation was overgrown, with just a few of the larger stones rising above the vegetation. There was a large sinkhole in the center; she was amazed it hadn't been filled in.
"Not too many people walk on this side of the castle, if that's what you're thinking," he said, startling her. "I guess they don't feel it's necessary to fill this in since it's so close to the forest." He sat down on a large stone and motioned for her to sit next to him. "I like to come here a lot...it's sort of my quiet place to think and pray. You're the first person I've brought here," he finished, blushing faintly in the moonlight.
"I...I guess I don't know what to say."
He took a deep breath. "Look, Stacy...I'm really sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have lost control like that. Can you forgive me?"
"If you can forgive me for losing my temper."
"Of course. You had every right to do so." He sighed. "When I'm near you, Stacy...it's like I can't think anymore. I can only feel. It's strange...I know we haven't known each other all that long, but you've come to mean so much to me.... It isn't logical, I know. But when I'm near you, I start thinking about things like...like...oh, I'm not sure I can put it into words!" He took a deep breath, turned so he was looking into her eyes, and clasped her hands in his. "Dory...what I'm about to say, I've never said to anyone before. I...I love you."
Stacy couldn't breathe. She wanted to hear it and didn't want to hear it, all at once. It was too soon...but it felt right, at the same time.
"I've botched it, haven't I? I'm moving too fast...oh, I was never good at this sort of thing...Stacy I'm sorry, I...."
"JoJo?"
"Hm?" he said, his eyes brightening at the nickname.
"Shut your tater trap and kiss me."
"What? Um...."
"Your MOUTH, man! Your tater trap is your MOUTH! Now use it for something besides generating hurricanes!"
He smiled and kissed her tenderly. She pulled him close--then thought of something. "Um...then again...this used to be a chapel...."
"Oh my goodness, yes!" he stammered, blushing. "Stacy...I've an idea. I think...I think we should pray together so something like that doesn't happen again."
"You know...you're right."
They clasped their hands together and bowed their heads. Justin began to speak quietly. "Father God, forgive us for our momentary lapses of reason. You know well how I feel about Stacy...how I hope she will someday feel about me. I...I don't want to risk anything happening to this relationship- -" Stacy noticed that he squeezed her hands gently when he said this-- "and I don't want to do anything that is not right in Your eyes. I'm sure Stacy feels the same way, loving You as she does. Father, please give us the strength to fight temptation. Guide us in the way we should go so that we do not fall into sin. We thank You for Your many blessings and ask that You bless our relationship and help it grow. In this and all things, Father...Thy will be done. In Jesus' name, Amen."
"Amen," Stacy echoed.
They looked at each other...strange as it seemed, Stacy thought she felt some sort of connection. "Do you feel it too?" Justin breathed.
"Yes...I think I do...what do you think it is?"
"I think that was the right thing to do...and maybe, just maybe...God's giving us the go-ahead," he said, grinning.
"I hope so," Stacy heard herself say before she realized she really DID hope so.
"So do I."
They walked hand-in-hand back to the castle. Justin kissed her gently at the foot of the stairs before heading up to Hufflepuff Tower. "I...I love you," Stacy said softly, not daring to think he'd heard.
He stopped suddenly and turned around halfway up the stairs. He smiled at her. "I love you, too."
Stacy nearly floated up to Gryffindor Tower.
Disclaimer: I don't own HP, "Weird Al" Yankovic, or 'Hee Haw.' I just have a sick mind. ;)
That night, Stacy said her prayers, climbed into bed, and fell almost instantly asleep. The next thing she knew, she was in Potions class. Professor Snape strode in wearing a yellow plastic jumpsuit--and proceeded to break into "Weird Al" Yankovic's song "Dare to Be Stupid." Suddenly, Parvati Patil jumped onto the stage (*Waitaminute, what stage?*) with him and started snoring into the microphone.
Stacy awakened with a start, only to find that Parvati really WAS snoring. *Gah, she sounds like she's sawing redwoods!*
Stacy turned over, readjusted her pillow, and went back to sleep.
"Welcome to Hogwarts Hee-Haw!" Purple curtains parted to reveal Professor Dumbledore and Professor Hagrid sitting on stools, doing the "pickin' and grinnin'" instead of Buck Owens and Roy Clark. The Hee Haw Honeys were two dozen veela, while Professor Flitwick filled in for Grandpa Jones and Professor McGonagall--in a monstrous hat!--played Minnie Pearl. *This is sick...just sick!* her mind screamed. But it wasn't over yet. Justin-- wearing a buckskin coat and singing John Denver songs--was the headliner, with Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Dean as his backup band. But the special guest stars were two manticores dressed like Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson who sang "Good-Hearted Woman" and then ate the audience.
Stacy was more than glad to wake up from that one. *Great. Now my subconscious does parodies.*
She sat up, annoyed. Bad enough she was wide awake, but now her dreams were bugging her. She only had dreams that weird under two circumstances: when she was feverish or when she was stressed. She checked her forehead. Not a sign of fever. That meant she was tense--either that, or she'd finally gone 'round the bend.
Then again, she had plenty to be tense about. Her sweet and fluffy romance with Justin had suddenly developed some unneeded steam...and now they were fighting about it. Wasn't studying for her Apparition license enough? Actually, weren't her regular classes enough? Or relocating to another country? Or...okay, enough already. No sense feeling sorry for herself. She stretched and leaned back, ready for another go at sleep.
And then, she heard something.
A sniffle. A gasp. A choked sob. Somebody was crying.
Somebody...who sounded an awful lot like Hermione.
This was not good. Stacy didn't know Hermione all that well, but she didn't seem like the kind of girl to cry a lot. And that was bothersome. Stacy liked having a girl cousin her own age--a fellow witch, no less!--so she'd quite taken to Hermione. Therefore, Stacy didn't like hearing her cousin cry.
She climbed out of bed. After the third or fourth attempt, she managed to get her feet into her slippers. She stood up and staggered across the room...and staggered right into her nightstand. She sucked in her breath sharply as she hopped around on her right foot, clutching her left toes and biting back a few choice words.
Being human was not for wussies, that was for sure. All those little problems stemming from imperfection...bruises and what-have-you. At times like this, Stacy ALMOST wished she were a Mary Sue in a poorly-written fanfiction. Mary Sue, the chronically perky, pretty, and perfect. But Stacy didn't do perky. She was not, in her estimation, pretty. (She couldn't figure out how she and Hermione could look so much alike--yet the face could be so much more flattering to Hermione.) And she blinking well wasn't perfect.
Mary Sue wouldn't have punched Malfoy. Or blown up at Justin. Or had a bad day. Or had weird psycho dreams. Or stubbed her toes.
"Hermione, quit that sniveling! I need my beauty sleep!" Or launched into protective mode and given serious thought to drowning Parvati in the sink.
Mary Sue was perfect. Stacy was human.
Stacy decided she hated Mary Sues--and Mary Sue writers--as a species.
However, Mary Sue would've known what to say to Hermione--and to Stacy's dismay, she hadn't the faintest clue how to help her cousin feel better.
"H'mione...wassamatter?" *Oh, great start. I sound drunk!*
"Harry...."
"What? What's wrong? What'd he do?"
"N-nothing...he's wonderful...it's just...I had the most awful nightmare...."
"Sh, sh, it's okay...." Stacy pulled Hermione into a hug and rocked her gently, sitting on the edge of the bed. "What happened?"
"Volde--He Who Must Not Be Named--came after him...and did horrible things to all the Muggle-borns...and then killed Harry with his bare hands...oh! Oh! Oh!"
Stacy held her cousin tightly, not sure what to say. Though she didn't like to think about it, Hermione's nightmare could too easily be prophetic-- especially here in Europe. In the States, it didn't seem like so much of a threat. But here....
"Honey, it was just a nightmare. You know Harry will stop him...that's what he was born to do, wasn't it?"
"I know...but sometimes...it's just so hard to be in love with that boy."
"You mean...?"
"No, I'm not breaking up with him. It just...hurts...."
Stacy cradled Hermione gently, stroking her hair and trying not to cry herself. It wasn't fair that Harry should have such a burden on such skinny shoulders...or that Hermione should have a burden that was just as heavy because she loved him.
Unfortunately, life wasn't fair.
The next night, Professor Jupiter was already in the Astronomy Tower when Stacy got to class. Blast. She leaned over and whispered to Justin, "Could we take a walk after supper?"
"S-sure."
Stacy tried not to make it too obvious that she was hurrying through her leg of lamb, biscuits, and green beans amandine. But, she was one of the first Gryffindors to finish her supper.
She had just enough time to retrieve her heavy cloak, put it on, and run back to the Great Hall. Justin met her at the base of the moving stairs. "Ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
They walked in near-silence for a while, speaking in monosyllables. Finally, she asked him about something that bothered her. "Um...why doesn't Hogwarts have a chapel?" *Way to avoid the subject, Stacy.*
"Hm? Well, it did have one. However, it burned down in the seventeenth century and was never rebuilt."
"I wonder why?"
He shrugged. "Don't know. Would you like to see where it was, though?"
"Sure!"
He lead her around the castle to a spot near Slytherin Tower. "The ruins are right here...there really isn't much left. Watch where you step; it's sunken in a bit."
She followed behind him, careful to match his steps as closely as possible. To her surprise, she suddenly saw the remains of a large stone foundation. Most of the foundation was overgrown, with just a few of the larger stones rising above the vegetation. There was a large sinkhole in the center; she was amazed it hadn't been filled in.
"Not too many people walk on this side of the castle, if that's what you're thinking," he said, startling her. "I guess they don't feel it's necessary to fill this in since it's so close to the forest." He sat down on a large stone and motioned for her to sit next to him. "I like to come here a lot...it's sort of my quiet place to think and pray. You're the first person I've brought here," he finished, blushing faintly in the moonlight.
"I...I guess I don't know what to say."
He took a deep breath. "Look, Stacy...I'm really sorry about the other day. I shouldn't have lost control like that. Can you forgive me?"
"If you can forgive me for losing my temper."
"Of course. You had every right to do so." He sighed. "When I'm near you, Stacy...it's like I can't think anymore. I can only feel. It's strange...I know we haven't known each other all that long, but you've come to mean so much to me.... It isn't logical, I know. But when I'm near you, I start thinking about things like...like...oh, I'm not sure I can put it into words!" He took a deep breath, turned so he was looking into her eyes, and clasped her hands in his. "Dory...what I'm about to say, I've never said to anyone before. I...I love you."
Stacy couldn't breathe. She wanted to hear it and didn't want to hear it, all at once. It was too soon...but it felt right, at the same time.
"I've botched it, haven't I? I'm moving too fast...oh, I was never good at this sort of thing...Stacy I'm sorry, I...."
"JoJo?"
"Hm?" he said, his eyes brightening at the nickname.
"Shut your tater trap and kiss me."
"What? Um...."
"Your MOUTH, man! Your tater trap is your MOUTH! Now use it for something besides generating hurricanes!"
He smiled and kissed her tenderly. She pulled him close--then thought of something. "Um...then again...this used to be a chapel...."
"Oh my goodness, yes!" he stammered, blushing. "Stacy...I've an idea. I think...I think we should pray together so something like that doesn't happen again."
"You know...you're right."
They clasped their hands together and bowed their heads. Justin began to speak quietly. "Father God, forgive us for our momentary lapses of reason. You know well how I feel about Stacy...how I hope she will someday feel about me. I...I don't want to risk anything happening to this relationship- -" Stacy noticed that he squeezed her hands gently when he said this-- "and I don't want to do anything that is not right in Your eyes. I'm sure Stacy feels the same way, loving You as she does. Father, please give us the strength to fight temptation. Guide us in the way we should go so that we do not fall into sin. We thank You for Your many blessings and ask that You bless our relationship and help it grow. In this and all things, Father...Thy will be done. In Jesus' name, Amen."
"Amen," Stacy echoed.
They looked at each other...strange as it seemed, Stacy thought she felt some sort of connection. "Do you feel it too?" Justin breathed.
"Yes...I think I do...what do you think it is?"
"I think that was the right thing to do...and maybe, just maybe...God's giving us the go-ahead," he said, grinning.
"I hope so," Stacy heard herself say before she realized she really DID hope so.
"So do I."
They walked hand-in-hand back to the castle. Justin kissed her gently at the foot of the stairs before heading up to Hufflepuff Tower. "I...I love you," Stacy said softly, not daring to think he'd heard.
He stopped suddenly and turned around halfway up the stairs. He smiled at her. "I love you, too."
Stacy nearly floated up to Gryffindor Tower.