Jocasta Revisited
By D. M. Evans
Feedback - - geekgirzrus@yahoo.com
Rating - R for implied sexual content
Pairing - Cordy/Connor
Spoilers - Up to Slouching Toward Bethlehem
Summery - Cordelia, feeling lost and alone, finds solace in a younger man
CHAPTER FOUR
Connor ducked under the vampire's outreached hands and kicked at its knee, shattering it with a satisfying wet pop. The creature shrieked falling to the ground, rolling in the filth of the alley.
"Now Cordelia!"
He danced away and Cordelia rushed in with a stake. She slammed it full force into the vampire's chest. It jarred her shoulder painfully and she got a lung full of dust as the thing vaporized. She staggered against the wall, hacking.
"That was perfect," Connor said, giving her shoulder an enthusiastic pat that was likely to leave a bruise.
"That's awful." She wheezed some more. "I have dead man in my lungs."
"You learn to hold your breath as you stab." Connor shrugged his slim shoulders. "You'll get the hang of it."
"I'm not sure I want to. Are you certain I was a demon hunter? This so doesn't feel like me," Cordy griped, frantically dusting off her clothes.
"Well, you were trying to be an actress but I don't think it was going well." He gave her an apologetic look.
"Humph, why not? I mean just look at me. Wouldn't you pay money to see a body like this?" She fluttered her hands over her trim form.
"Yeah sure but isn't there more to acting than looking pretty?" Connor asked, when what he wanted to say was 'he wanted to see that body for free.'
She shrugged. "I need a long bath and to burn these clothes, not necessarily in that order. Can we go home now?"
"Sure."
While Cordy bathed, if that's what taking two hours and using up all the hot water could be called, Connor tried to find things to occupy his time, things other than what he wanted to do to Cordy since it just made his body do weird embarrassing things. He exercised some to burn away his nervous energy. He was good and sweaty but Cordy still wasn't done. Connor didn't own a TV to help pass the time. He didn't see the point but he was probably going to need to get one to keep Cordy happy.
He sat on the edge of the bed and saw her woman's magazine on the floor. He picked it up leafing through it, bored. He could barely read. It wasn't a skill he needed in Quor-toth. Holtz had a Bible with him and used it to teach Connor what he did know. He had large chunks of it memorized but not thanks to his reading skill. He just had a gift for remembering things.
The ads in the magazine amazed him. Connor was shocked at how much skin women showed. The stench from the pages bothered him. Why would a magazine need to smell like perfume? His fingers stumbled when he saw the article header '10 things your man absolutely needs to know to please you in bed,' or at least that's what he thought it read. He glanced around frantically. No signs of Cordelia, so he settled in and struggled to read it.
"Okay, Connor, your turn in the shower."
At Cordelia's voice, Connor dropped the magazine as if it had turned into a brand. He felt his cheeks turn red. At least he had made it through five things he needed to do. Most made no sense, sort of like what Cordy had just said to him. Her voice registered, the words were gone in the roar of the blinding panic at getting caught. "What?"
"Hit the shower, hon. You're a mess." She patted his shoulder.
"Oh, right." He might not have much experience with women but he knew that meant 'you aren't getting into MY bed all stinky.'
He headed for the shower, grateful for an escape. As he lathered up he thought about what to do about Cordy. It didn't help that he associated the words 'shower' and 'Cordy' with memories of Cordy and Fred stressing to him in those first days in this world about the importance of showering daily. Holtz had told him more than one or two baths a year would weaken him and make him sick. The ladies had been appalled. Angel had quietly explained that Holtz's beliefs had been disproved nearly a century ago. He had been humiliated. At least Cordy didn't remember the incident.
He arrived at the conclusion he'd have to do what he had done the night before, sleep on his side, facing away from her. He didn't trust his body not to go all out of control on him if he slept snuggled up with her. Once clean and dried, he trailed back into the main room dressed only in the jogging pants that he slept in. Cordelia was reading her magazine. She waggled it at him, grinning.
"Most men wouldn't read this," she said.
Connor huddled in on himself, mortified. "Sorry."
"No, it's a good thing. Most men would rather stumble around blind. I may not remember much but I remember that," Cordy said. "Find anything interesting in it?"
He was too embarrassed to answer. "It smells funny."
"Huh? Oh, those are perfume samples, that's how they get you to buy their product. Come here." She patted the bed beside her, and he obliged. "Let's see if we can find one for men."
Cordy found a Calvin Kline for men and rubbed it on his neck. His face screwed up and she laughed.
"What? Don't you like it?"
"No. You can't sneak up on anything smelling this strong." Would she get mad if he washed his neck? He wanted rid of the stuff. It made his nose burn but he decided not to risk upsetting her.
"You don't wear it going to a fight." She ruffled his hair. "You wear it out dancing."
He sank into himself, his arms crossing his torso protectively. "I don't dance."
"We'll have to rectify that," Cordy said.
"Okay." His eyes widened with fear. "Guess I should have pretended to like the perfume."
Her face went somber. "No, Connor, never pretend to be what you're not. No one's worth that."
He smiled at her. "Okay, but you do it."
"I do not." She looked affronted.
"You do. You pretend to be blonde." He touched her hair.
Cordy laughed. "Woman's prerogative. It's okay to change your hair color if you want to."
"I like you better with your dark hair. It seems more like you." He wisely kept 'and blond makes you look old' to himself. He had spent just enough time around Fred to know women hated age and weight references.
"Thanks. Maybe I'll let it grow out."
He smiled. "Do you like how that stuff smells?" He indicated his neck.
Cordy ducked her face closer to him and sniffed. Her hair tickled his bare shoulders. "Smells very nice," she said softly.
Connor caught her shoulders, maneuvering her so he could press his lips to hers. She didn't pull away. She took over the kiss, leading him into it more deeply. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, surprising him. He didn't know people did that. As he tensed, she stroked his back, her lips not leaving his. Suddenly she did break contact and put a hand on his chest, pushing away gently.
"Cordy?" Puzzlement laced that simple word, weighing it down.
"We can't do this," she said softly.
All his muscles tensed. He feared this would happen. Was she thinking of his father? Did she think he wasn't attractive enough? Everyone kept telling him he was special but it felt like they were really saying 'little freak.' "Why not?"
"It's wrong."
"Because of him?" Connor couldn't keep the pain and anger out of his voice.
She shook her head. She knew he meant Angel. "No, Connor, because you're still a kid."
"No, I'm not! I'm a lot of things but I'm not a kid. I'm not sure I ever was," he replied, his face getting warm.
"There are laws, hon. You have to be eighteen."
"For all you know I am. I'm not really sure how old I am." A hint of sorrow snuck into his voice. "It's not like we kept track all that well in Quor-toth but I'm close to eighteen."
Cordy's lips twitched up. "There is that."
He touched his forehead to hers. "I'm old enough. Cordy, I care about you. I want this.if you do."
"It's been a while," she said, wavering. She stroked his back.
"It's been never." He gave her a nervous smile.
She brushed her fingers along his cheek. "I guess I never thought about that, not a lot of dating where you came from.
"You and Fred are about the only two women I've ever known," he admitted.
"And that makes this wrong, too, Connor. You don't know what you're feeling is real or is just because you don't have a lot of experience being around others. Boys your age tend to fall hard and fast," Cordy said and it sounded lame to both of them. Connor looked offended.
"It's real," he said, sulking. He turned his blue eyes on her and whispered. "I wanted you to be my first."
Cordy gave him such a gentle look it almost stopped his heart. Her lips pressed against his soft and quick like the touch of a feather. "I have things to teach you then."
"Yes, please," he rasped out, the blood thundering in his head as it made a mass exodus to points south.
Cordy kissed him again, pressing him back against the mattress. Her tongue danced with his. His nose kept getting in the way of the kiss but Cordy made the little necessary adjustments. His body didn't take long to respond but this time he wasn't embarrassed.
After their love session left them exhausted, Cordelia's strong arms wrapped around him tightly pulling him flat against her. Connor embraced her back, too drained, too utterly thankful to speak. He might have felt clumsy and maybe not particularly good at it but he wouldn't trade this night for anything.
* * *
Beers hated pulling the night shift. L.A. got scary once the sun set. Worse, for the most part whomever he was trailing was in for the night and the job got deadly dull. That's how it was most nights. Tonight, however, was not dull. He sat surrounded by his spy gear, making audio recordings to go along with all the snap shots he was taking.
"Thank you Mrs. Robinson," he muttered, reaching into his pocket for his cellular. He hit one of the programmed numbers. "Sorry to call so late Ms. Morgan but you're going to want to know about what your girl is doing and who with."
CHAPTER FOUR
Connor ducked under the vampire's outreached hands and kicked at its knee, shattering it with a satisfying wet pop. The creature shrieked falling to the ground, rolling in the filth of the alley.
"Now Cordelia!"
He danced away and Cordelia rushed in with a stake. She slammed it full force into the vampire's chest. It jarred her shoulder painfully and she got a lung full of dust as the thing vaporized. She staggered against the wall, hacking.
"That was perfect," Connor said, giving her shoulder an enthusiastic pat that was likely to leave a bruise.
"That's awful." She wheezed some more. "I have dead man in my lungs."
"You learn to hold your breath as you stab." Connor shrugged his slim shoulders. "You'll get the hang of it."
"I'm not sure I want to. Are you certain I was a demon hunter? This so doesn't feel like me," Cordy griped, frantically dusting off her clothes.
"Well, you were trying to be an actress but I don't think it was going well." He gave her an apologetic look.
"Humph, why not? I mean just look at me. Wouldn't you pay money to see a body like this?" She fluttered her hands over her trim form.
"Yeah sure but isn't there more to acting than looking pretty?" Connor asked, when what he wanted to say was 'he wanted to see that body for free.'
She shrugged. "I need a long bath and to burn these clothes, not necessarily in that order. Can we go home now?"
"Sure."
While Cordy bathed, if that's what taking two hours and using up all the hot water could be called, Connor tried to find things to occupy his time, things other than what he wanted to do to Cordy since it just made his body do weird embarrassing things. He exercised some to burn away his nervous energy. He was good and sweaty but Cordy still wasn't done. Connor didn't own a TV to help pass the time. He didn't see the point but he was probably going to need to get one to keep Cordy happy.
He sat on the edge of the bed and saw her woman's magazine on the floor. He picked it up leafing through it, bored. He could barely read. It wasn't a skill he needed in Quor-toth. Holtz had a Bible with him and used it to teach Connor what he did know. He had large chunks of it memorized but not thanks to his reading skill. He just had a gift for remembering things.
The ads in the magazine amazed him. Connor was shocked at how much skin women showed. The stench from the pages bothered him. Why would a magazine need to smell like perfume? His fingers stumbled when he saw the article header '10 things your man absolutely needs to know to please you in bed,' or at least that's what he thought it read. He glanced around frantically. No signs of Cordelia, so he settled in and struggled to read it.
"Okay, Connor, your turn in the shower."
At Cordelia's voice, Connor dropped the magazine as if it had turned into a brand. He felt his cheeks turn red. At least he had made it through five things he needed to do. Most made no sense, sort of like what Cordy had just said to him. Her voice registered, the words were gone in the roar of the blinding panic at getting caught. "What?"
"Hit the shower, hon. You're a mess." She patted his shoulder.
"Oh, right." He might not have much experience with women but he knew that meant 'you aren't getting into MY bed all stinky.'
He headed for the shower, grateful for an escape. As he lathered up he thought about what to do about Cordy. It didn't help that he associated the words 'shower' and 'Cordy' with memories of Cordy and Fred stressing to him in those first days in this world about the importance of showering daily. Holtz had told him more than one or two baths a year would weaken him and make him sick. The ladies had been appalled. Angel had quietly explained that Holtz's beliefs had been disproved nearly a century ago. He had been humiliated. At least Cordy didn't remember the incident.
He arrived at the conclusion he'd have to do what he had done the night before, sleep on his side, facing away from her. He didn't trust his body not to go all out of control on him if he slept snuggled up with her. Once clean and dried, he trailed back into the main room dressed only in the jogging pants that he slept in. Cordelia was reading her magazine. She waggled it at him, grinning.
"Most men wouldn't read this," she said.
Connor huddled in on himself, mortified. "Sorry."
"No, it's a good thing. Most men would rather stumble around blind. I may not remember much but I remember that," Cordy said. "Find anything interesting in it?"
He was too embarrassed to answer. "It smells funny."
"Huh? Oh, those are perfume samples, that's how they get you to buy their product. Come here." She patted the bed beside her, and he obliged. "Let's see if we can find one for men."
Cordy found a Calvin Kline for men and rubbed it on his neck. His face screwed up and she laughed.
"What? Don't you like it?"
"No. You can't sneak up on anything smelling this strong." Would she get mad if he washed his neck? He wanted rid of the stuff. It made his nose burn but he decided not to risk upsetting her.
"You don't wear it going to a fight." She ruffled his hair. "You wear it out dancing."
He sank into himself, his arms crossing his torso protectively. "I don't dance."
"We'll have to rectify that," Cordy said.
"Okay." His eyes widened with fear. "Guess I should have pretended to like the perfume."
Her face went somber. "No, Connor, never pretend to be what you're not. No one's worth that."
He smiled at her. "Okay, but you do it."
"I do not." She looked affronted.
"You do. You pretend to be blonde." He touched her hair.
Cordy laughed. "Woman's prerogative. It's okay to change your hair color if you want to."
"I like you better with your dark hair. It seems more like you." He wisely kept 'and blond makes you look old' to himself. He had spent just enough time around Fred to know women hated age and weight references.
"Thanks. Maybe I'll let it grow out."
He smiled. "Do you like how that stuff smells?" He indicated his neck.
Cordy ducked her face closer to him and sniffed. Her hair tickled his bare shoulders. "Smells very nice," she said softly.
Connor caught her shoulders, maneuvering her so he could press his lips to hers. She didn't pull away. She took over the kiss, leading him into it more deeply. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, surprising him. He didn't know people did that. As he tensed, she stroked his back, her lips not leaving his. Suddenly she did break contact and put a hand on his chest, pushing away gently.
"Cordy?" Puzzlement laced that simple word, weighing it down.
"We can't do this," she said softly.
All his muscles tensed. He feared this would happen. Was she thinking of his father? Did she think he wasn't attractive enough? Everyone kept telling him he was special but it felt like they were really saying 'little freak.' "Why not?"
"It's wrong."
"Because of him?" Connor couldn't keep the pain and anger out of his voice.
She shook her head. She knew he meant Angel. "No, Connor, because you're still a kid."
"No, I'm not! I'm a lot of things but I'm not a kid. I'm not sure I ever was," he replied, his face getting warm.
"There are laws, hon. You have to be eighteen."
"For all you know I am. I'm not really sure how old I am." A hint of sorrow snuck into his voice. "It's not like we kept track all that well in Quor-toth but I'm close to eighteen."
Cordy's lips twitched up. "There is that."
He touched his forehead to hers. "I'm old enough. Cordy, I care about you. I want this.if you do."
"It's been a while," she said, wavering. She stroked his back.
"It's been never." He gave her a nervous smile.
She brushed her fingers along his cheek. "I guess I never thought about that, not a lot of dating where you came from.
"You and Fred are about the only two women I've ever known," he admitted.
"And that makes this wrong, too, Connor. You don't know what you're feeling is real or is just because you don't have a lot of experience being around others. Boys your age tend to fall hard and fast," Cordy said and it sounded lame to both of them. Connor looked offended.
"It's real," he said, sulking. He turned his blue eyes on her and whispered. "I wanted you to be my first."
Cordy gave him such a gentle look it almost stopped his heart. Her lips pressed against his soft and quick like the touch of a feather. "I have things to teach you then."
"Yes, please," he rasped out, the blood thundering in his head as it made a mass exodus to points south.
Cordy kissed him again, pressing him back against the mattress. Her tongue danced with his. His nose kept getting in the way of the kiss but Cordy made the little necessary adjustments. His body didn't take long to respond but this time he wasn't embarrassed.
After their love session left them exhausted, Cordelia's strong arms wrapped around him tightly pulling him flat against her. Connor embraced her back, too drained, too utterly thankful to speak. He might have felt clumsy and maybe not particularly good at it but he wouldn't trade this night for anything.
* * *
Beers hated pulling the night shift. L.A. got scary once the sun set. Worse, for the most part whomever he was trailing was in for the night and the job got deadly dull. That's how it was most nights. Tonight, however, was not dull. He sat surrounded by his spy gear, making audio recordings to go along with all the snap shots he was taking.
"Thank you Mrs. Robinson," he muttered, reaching into his pocket for his cellular. He hit one of the programmed numbers. "Sorry to call so late Ms. Morgan but you're going to want to know about what your girl is doing and who with."