St. Mungo's For Life
By PepsiAngel
Disclaimer: It's all J.K.'s and for once I am thankful for this. 'Baby' belongs to Ashanti.
Author's Note: They made me do it! *Points at She's A Star and Twix* Blame them for any psychological problems this fic causes.
Ginny Weasley now spent her days locked up in a padded cell. Once you hear this tale I'm afraid you too might need serious mental help. It all started one day, back at Hogwarts in her fourth year…
*lots of swirly stuff*
You're being brought back in time, you see. Yes, we have cheap affects, leave me alone.
It was a perfectly sunny May day, giving no premonition of what would lie ahead for the young red head. She was just strolling around the grounds, her head in the clouds, daydreaming of the time when her and Harry would finally get together. In other words, the usual way she spent her Saturdays.
She was not paying attention to where she was going, you can't very well when you are having fantasies about Harry Potter, when she rammed straight into somebody. A certain black haired, glasses wearin' boy-who-lived someone.
"Uh, Harry!" she squeaked, her face burning a bright cherry red.
"Yeah?" he replied, staring at her head. It was then that she realized that she hadn't combed her hair yet! Oh, how mortifying. Actually, she had the misfortune of standing under a flock of birds earlier and one had eaten a bad mouse which, regrettably enough, has the same effect on you as expired cheese. In simpler terms, the bird had taken a hardy diarrhea on her head.
She felt her noggin and stopped all the sudden, her eyes growing wide. At closer in section of the hand she held in front of her face, she saw the gooey white gunk that was undeniably bird doo doo.
Opening her mouth, Ginny let out one continuous screech as she ran full speed into the nearest girl's bathroom. To her horror, there was a person in there all ready. In fact, it was a man.
A very dashing, suave manly man. She immediately recognized him as none other than Gilderoy Lockhart and winced. Lockhart was now teaching at Hogwarts, as a Divinations teacher this time around. Nobody knew why he had gotten the job, many suspected a complicated web of lies again, and as bad as Trelawney had been all the students agreed he was worse.
"Professor! What are you doing in the girl's lavatory?" demanded Ginny, totally forgetting about her hair crisis. However, he didn't seem to hear her. It seemed he was talking to himself, but as she edged closer it became apparent that he was singing ever so softly to himself, or rather his reflection.
"Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby," he crooned lovingly to the mirror. "I love it when I hear your name."
He swooned as he stared into the likeness of his baby blue eyes. "Got me sayin'… baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!" I wish you'd stop sayin' baby, baby, baby, baby, baby! Ginny thought dryly.
"See, I could never feel alone with you in my life," he continued in a voice that would cause any person with the ability to hear to want to jump off the roof of a twenty story building and even those who were deaf desire to end it all. "I'd give up everything I own for you, won't think twice."
His voice, if you could call it that, grew louder now and it was almost as if he forgot where he was. "Almost a shame how I'm mesmerized, such a shame!"
No, it's a shame that I have to suffer through this cruel and unusual torture!
"I lose my thought when I look in your eyes!" He opened his mouth to belt out more but Ginny had enough.
"STOP IT BEFORE I GO BLOODY MAD!" She cried and ran from the room, holding her head, all thoughts of ever cleaning her scarlet mane forgotten.
She rounded the corner at full speed, still yelling, and not caring in the least that everyone she passed was staring at her in alarm. Was this the same quiet, shy Ginny they all knew?
Her eyes landed on Hermione and Ron, who were seated on a bench side by side. Even while in this half-crazed state, she noticed the distance, or lack thereof, between the two. Ron was munching on Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans while Hermione was engrossed in Hogwarts, A History for the umpteenth time.
As she approached them Ron could be heard exclaiming, "Look at this one! Reckon it's a new flavor?" He was looking intently at a white bean with yellow and brown stripes.
Hermione hardly glanced up. "Well, I don't know. Why don't you try it and see?" There was something of a devious smile playing at her lips.
Apparently, he hadn't learned his lesson in the past and popped the whole bean into his mouth. A sickly sort of look came over his face as he chewed on it and then-
"Oh, ew, Ron! Try to aim away from my feet next time!"
Ron hardly took notice to Hermione's complaints though, as he was still gagging. "That must have been the worst one I have ever… eaten…"
"What flavor do you think it was?" asked Hermione curiously.
Ron looked up at her and said matter of factly, "Puss."
"Puss? Are you sure?"
"I'm positive! Straight from one of Eloise Midgen's pimples."
Ginny couldn't hold it in any longer and she burst into hysterical mirth. "That is so disgusting!" she managed to gasp out. Hermione was laughing right along with her.
Ron, on the other hand, didn't find the humor in it. "You think it's funny now but wait until you eat acne!" Ginny was howling now and getting even more stares than before.
Before her brother became truly angry, she decided to change the topic. "You won't believe who I ran into in the girl's bathroom."
"Snape?" He joked.
"That might have been better!" She paused dramatically. "It was none other than… Professor Lockhart!"
Now it was Ron's turn to double over with laughter, but Hermione was staring at her in shock. "He must have had a good reason to be in there."
Ginny snorted, "Not unless you count singing love songs to your own reflection a good reason."
Hermione frowned. Apparently that wasn't a decent excuse for being where one really shouldn't be.
"Were you sticking up for that git?" he asked, scowling.
Hermione tried to remain calm. "I was merely pointing out that we should look at his side of the story."
"Even after you know what a huge fraud he is, you're still smitten with the fowl creature!"
"He's not a creature!" she snapped sharply.
Ginny, as disturbed as she was that someone could actually find the walking ego attractive, was just as sick of there quarrelling. "Honestly, if it was anymore obvious that you liked each other, you two might realize it!"
Ron's ears were as crimson as Hermione's flushed cheeks. Ginny chuckled wickedly to herself as she turned on her heel and left them alone to deal with the aftermath of her explosion.
It was quite awhile before her wandering led her anyplace and where it did take her she would come to deeply regret. She was walking down a stone path, the sound of her feet echoing loudly with every step she took. She shivered from the cold and hurried her pace.
Eerie music began to play in the background and as soon as she entered, Ginny knew just where she was. The potion's lair!
The music paused after one loud dun, dun, DUN!
There, snoring with his head on his desk was Professor Snape himself. The girl crept up to him slowly, afraid to wake him but painfully curious to hear what words were being mumbled as she could see his mouth moving.
"Lily, oh, Lily! I've always loved you!" he murmured desperately, drool running from the corner of his mouth. Ew! How very unromantic! Ginny thought to herself in disgust. She briefly pondered what Harry would think if he knew that Severus was moaning out his mother's name riiiiight now.
Somehow she didn't think he'd be pleased.
Snape's eyes opened sleepily and he looked up at her. A drowsy smile appeared on his lips and Ginny began to back away in fear. He stood up and made his way towards her, his hand reached out and clutched her thin wrist.
"I've waited so long to do this," he confessed. Was this giant sap really her potion's professor? He was quoting lines she could have sworn she had read in one of the muggle romance novels her father had bought her mum.
"Uh, I think you've confused me with someone else…" she told him and tried to pull herself away but his grasp was too strong.
"No, you are exactly who I think you are, Lily," he replied. In an instant he had her pinned against the wall and was kissing her passionately. After what felt like hours, he pulled back and opened his eyes.
His pupils grew wide as he recognized her and at the exact same moment they both let out a loud, deafening scream that bounced around the walls and through all the school, and even into the Forbidden Forest causing all the birds to fly away.
*air swirls around again and everyone is pulled back to the present time*
Ginny, even now so many years later, shuddered every time she remembered this horrible day. Immediately after Dumbledore and McGonagall had rushed into the chamber, which was very soon for their simultaneous shout had been heard by all, it was clear that Ginny would never be the same.
Who could blame her though? Being kissed by Severus Snape was enough to send anyone to St. Mungo's for life.