ANDIE
Day 4, 5:05 pm
Dean and I were walking on the sidewalk by a street to nowhere in particular. I found myself wondering what the point was in going out on this date anyway. After this, I'd probably never see him again, so why bother dating during the 1 more day we'd be here? Finally, I voiced my thoughts to fill the silence.
"What are you doing, Dean?"
He looked at me. "What?"
"Are you just messing with my head, or what? What did you hope to accomplish here?"
He paused. "I… I'm not sure I follow you."
"Get real. We both know that once we leave Philly we'll never meet again."
"I like being with you. Do I need more of a reason than that? Why not hang out while we can? We never got much chance back when I was riding for you guys, if you can call it riding."
"If you like being with me, then why do you hang out with my brother instead?" The words shot out of my mouth before I had time to think. Once they came out, I regretted them.
"You think I prefer him over you? Is that it?"
"No," I said quickly. "I just meant that our relationship-"
"This has nothing to do with us," he replied. "This is about you and Andy."
I hung my head. I didn't like how this conversation was steering. "Can we just forget it?"
"No, because then it'll still be there."
"I'll settle things with Andy, I promise."
"Are you jealous of him, or overprotective of me? That's what I wanna know. Is this just another excuse to hate him?"
I continued my steady stare downwards. I didn't like talking to Dean like this. "Jealous, I guess. I mean, he got to the X Games and I didn't. Do you know how hard that was on me? Maybe he'll always be better, though. Maybe girls weren't meant to be better than guys. I just beat the crappy ones."
"Hey, hey. Hold up. Who are you and what did you do with Andrea Carson? My Andrea Carson. The one that got 1st last year racing with the pros. Let me tell you something, they weren't the "crappy ones." Those were real pros that you kicked butt."
"You don't understand. Maybe I'll be able to beat some guys, but when push comes to shove, the guys will always win, eventually."
"What about Kori? She got gold today. She beat Clowers. Doesn't that count for anything?"
"That doesn't count for anything in my life," I replied bitterly.
"You know what? It does. She proved that girls can beat guys. If my cousin can beat a legend, you, Andrea Carson, can beat your twin brother. Besides… you have to keep in mind that he does freestyle and you do downhill. Maybe more people tried out for downhill. Maybe all the freeriders suck."
I gave him a faint smile. It was a cute attempt at an excuse. "Maybe. Thanks."
"Anytime. So… maybe when I go back to Massachusetts, we can still be friends? E-mail and stuff?"
"I'd like that."