* This is a game show story. It's not a rip-off of anyone's work, thank god no sueing! It's about the strive for wanting to date Link, Hero of time. There are six contestants: Malon, Marin, Ruto, Zelda, Saria and Nabooru. They are sent to mine and konitsu's little world where only we know where it is.... These are not real people, there are cameras, and we will be making it funny every step of the way. So without further adue, I, Magic24, and my friend konitsu bring you: Forcing Love!!!
Disclaimer: We don't own Link, or any other Zelda characters. We would like to purchase Link though. We DO own this show in all it's sarcastic glory, so no saying we ripped people off please!
~~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~~
*You enter a dark eerie room with an audience, everything is black. You see two figuers walk onto the stage....*
Konitsu: *Dressed in black bell bottoms and a silver shirt. She waves, gets strange looks...* Er, ya, I wandered out of the Sailor Moon section for a bit........introducing.....
Magic24: *Dressed in a navy blue tank with knee-high jeans. Waves, also gets strange looks...* I'm new! Anyway, as we were saying, introducing..... "Forcing Love"!!!!!!
*Audience stares blankly at them...*
Magic24: Tough croud!
Konitsu: Eer, this is a game show, about who's gonna get a chance to date Link!
Nerio (aka Konitsu's unwilling faerie): I WANT TO GO HOME!!!
Magic24: Oh hush up! Anyway, there are six contestants trying to win a date with the ever so dreamy Hero of Time..Link! Only one will win, and we can kick one out at a time, like Survivor, only not.
Konitsu: *Shuves Nerio in a sock, nuff' said* So now that that's over, lets introduce our players!!!
Konitsu: MARIN!!!
*Marin walks in, looks around confused, waves and sits down*
Magic24: Hi Marin, sorry to get you away from Koholint on such short notice...
Marin: It's Ok, I've never seen such places as this!
Magic24: Ok.... MALON!!!
*Comes out, gives a "What the heck!" look at Marin, and sits down*
Konitsu: Oh my god twins!
Malon: I'm not a twin! I swear! She's a clone or something...
Marin: Please, your obviously a spy trying to confuse people!
Magic24: Your both wrong, Nintendo ran out of ideas, so they just used the same person over and over and over....
Konitsu: I knew that! I DID! Ok.... ZELDA!!!
*Zelda walks out with nose held high and doesn't ecknowledge us folk on the stage as well*
Magic24: Uhh, hi Zelda!
Zelda: That's Princess Zelda to you!
Konitsu: We can call you anything we want if we want to, like Princess Poo or....
Zelda: Ug, fine, call me Zelda!
Magic24: I'll deal with her later.... *Blinks* RUTO!!!
*Ruto comes out, hops up and down, then sits*
Konitsu: oookkkkk....
Konitsu: SARIA!!!
*Saria comes out and shakes hands with Magic24 and Konitsu, also waves at audience*
Konitsu: Hey Saria!
Nerio: *From sock* MELP! MELP!!!
Saria: *Gives disgusted look* Are you abusing your faerie? Cause if you are....
Konitsu: Eer, why....NO! *Hides behind Magic24*
Magic24: *Hits sock* Noooo, the faerie is taking a nap....
Saria: Oh, OK.
Magic24:........ Yeah....... NABOORU!!!
*Nabooru comes out, Konitsu stares longingly at her sythe*
Konitsu: I want that pointy thing!!!
Magic24: Yeah! Those are really cool Nabooru, where'd ya get it?
Nabooru: Konitsu should know, she was there purchasing explosives the other day.....
Konitsu: *Hides reciept from "Weapons R' Us* What ever do you mean?
Magic24: *Glances at Konitsu* AND OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST, THE ONE WHICH THIS GAMESHOW IS BASED UPON, PLEASE WELCOME, LINK!!!!
*Audience screams as he comes out, and Konitsu and Magic24 are held back until he's in his seat*
Magic24: *Drooling* Eeer, and there you have it! Our guests for our show!!!
Konitsu: *After hooking something under Zelda's seat* Erm, YUP! Hi Link....
Link: Wait, where am I?
Magic24: In mine and Konitsu's own world....
Konitsu: Yeah, hehehe, and you can't go back until we say!
Link: And this is a show?
Magic24: Duh
Link: What's it about?
Konitsu: *Whispers* Cute but stupid...
Magic24: *Sighs* It's a dating show. *Bonks Konitsu on the head*
Konitsu: OW! Hey does that mean me and Linky-boy can....
Magic24: 0.0 NO!!! Not for us, for the contestants! *Looks at Link dreamily*
Konitsu: Poo....but....FINE!! *Stomps off, then comes back holding an ebony haired man, who is quickly hauled off by security* .....DOUBLE POO!!!!
Magic24: Konitsu please...
*After a minute, the show is kicking into the other girls*
Malon: REALLY! I get to date Link!
Marin: Nu uh, ME!!!
Zelda: PLEASE! I'm the most worthy to even hold his hand!
Saria: I think he's a bit old for me...
Nabooru: I think he's saucy....
*Marin pounces on Zelda resulting in a cat fight*
Magic24: YOUR ALL WRONG, IT'S ME!!! Oops, forgot....hehe....
Konitsu: *Watching fight* WOHOO! KICK HER ARSE!!!
*Security comes out and separates the two*
Konitsu: But...Zelda...then.... I WANT LINK!!! *Starts crying anime style*
Magic24: *Pats Konitsu on the back* There there, we all want Link... um... Let's get into the rules, shall we?
Link: Man I must be hot!
Konitsu: *Sniff* OK, rule time...
Magic24: *Pulls out extremly long piece of paper with only a few scribbles on it* AHEM! Rule numero uno: No fighting with each other unless it's part of the "Events"
*Ruto is staring at Link with glaze over her eyes and foam on the mouth*
Konitsu: MEDICS! We have a case of Link-itis again!!!
Link: 3rd time this week!
*Ruto is revived and blindfolded*
Konitsu: *Glares at Marin and Zelda, then winks at Marin and gestures under Zelda's stool* Nember zwei: No swearing unless we say so, or we do it... *Smiles sheepishly*
Magic24: *Smiles at Link* Nember three: No hog tying Link to a chair and taking him away from the game!
Konitsu: I swear it wasn't me! *Coughs*
Link: WHAT! I should hope not!!!
Konitsu: Number four, no dissin' the hostesses folks!!!
Magic24: YEAH! I like that rule! Number five, no cheating on any of the events!
Zelda: *Has obviously had enough* I don't have to take this garbage! I'm the freaking Princess of Hyrule!!!
Nerio: *Somehow free* Can it blondie!
Konitsu: Rule number six: You win one, only one date with Link, then he's -ours- unless I say different!
Magic24: *Swears under breath* Number seven: If yo break any of the rules you get booted off this world with no Link!
Konitsu: Unless I say different....Number eight: Konitsu can do anything she wants, even kidnap Linky-boy!!!
Magic24: Number nine: Rule number eight expired yesterday!
Konitsu: Rule number ten! RULE NUMBER EIGHT NEVER EXPIRES!!!
Link: Sheesh, hey, how did I get here?
Nerio: *Sighs* They *Points at the arguing Konitsu and Magic24* want you, they do to! *Points at camera and audience*
Konitsu: Also the magic portal...
Magic24: Aaaannnnyyywaaayyy, you can't kidnap Link -yet- because then there would be no show! AHEM! Rule number eleven: There will be events to determine who is worthy of Link. Whoever does the worst at them gets booted off by us or our fans, good at them or not!
Ruto: What kind of events?
Konitsu: This and that....
Nerio: MASHED POTATO WRESTLING!!!
Konitsu: Can me and Link wrestle???
Link: I don't usually wrestle....
Magic24: WE AREN'T IN THIS GAME!!!
Konitsu: Practice wrestle?
Magic24: No!
Konitsu: AWW!!! Number twelve: We're the judges, and the fans too, so you'll be well advised to be nice to us!
Magic24: Last rule is nobody can even TRY to get out of this place!
Link: Do I participate?
Konitsu: NOPE! You sit with me and Magic the whoollleeee time!!!
Link: Help!
Magic24: *Pulls Konitsu off him* STOP IT YOUR SCARING PEOPLE!!!
Link: *Searching himself for Master Sword, only to find it missing* Ummm, nothing.
Konitsu: FARORE'S WIND I WANNA!
Ruto: LIIIIIINK! I LOVE YOU AND I'LL WIN FOR YOU!!!
Link: Oh goddess....
Konitsu: *Weilds axe and runs at Ruto* YAHHH!!!!
Magic24: OK! Enough of that! Let's tell them about the first event, shall we Konitsu? *Pulls Konitsu next to her*
Konitsu: *Sniffles and puts axe away* Mashed Potato wrestling???
Nerio: God what a hic...
Malon: I love mashed potatoes!
Marin: No -I- love mashed potatoes!
*Give each other look before backing down*
Magic24: WE ALL LOVE MASHED POTATOES! Ok, to the ring!
*Everyone follow her to the ring*
Konitsu: WOHOO!! *Grabs popcorn and plops down in her chair to watch* I missed the Potato Fest last year, this'll more than make up for it!
Nerio: *Mumbling* You are the most back-country peron I've ever seen!
Magic24: Konitsu and I will assign partners, whoever wins gets to stay here and not get booted off! That means three of you won't be leaving just yet... The others will be voted on by our fans, and then will leave. Whoever is the least popular gets off! Buh-Bye! SEE YA!!!
Konitsu: I want to see Zelda get that spiffyidy little dress of hers dirty!!!
Magic24:*Pulls Ruto and Malon next to each other* YOU WILL FIGHT!!!
Konitsu: Your going down fish girl! *Starts jumping up and down*
Malon: I have to fight a tuna?
Ruto: I'M NOT A TUNA AND YOUR GONNA PAY FARM GIRL!!!
Magic24: Enough! Zelda aaannnnddd Nabooru!!!
Link: *Looks confused and pulls Konitsu back to her seat to ovoid flailing arms*
Zelda: I am NOT fighting in potatoes, let along with her!
Magic24: *pulls out knife* Wanna make something of it Princess?
Konitsu: YOU'LL DO IT! *Pulls out Master Sword and attacks* AHH!!!
Zelda: *Running* AHHH!! EVERYONE HERE IS CRAZY EXCEPT ME!
Link: Uh hey, isn't that my sword?
Saria: *Too busy laughing to say anything*
*Nabooru pounces and pulls everyone off each other half laughing herself*
Konitsu: FINE! Marin and Saria fight!
Saria: I can't fight I'm too young!
Malon: That's your excuse for everything!
Magic24: *Plops down next to Link and puts away knife* Lets start with Malon and Ruto.
Konitsu: *Sits on the other side of him* That's the way it goes! *Rings bell*
*RING*
*Malon jumps into the potatoes and Ruto does the same*
Magic24: *Pulls out eye-glasses* Yup, this should be good!
*Ruto attempts to cut Malon with her fins, but falls in Idaho's finest instant mashed potatoes instead*
Konitsu: *Under umbrella with Link* Ohh, too bad!!!
*Malon starts scratching at Ruto's fishy skin...*
Ruto: ARG!!!
Nerio: Go Ruto! Eep...
Konitsu: *Shoves Nerio in another sock* We'll do the rooting here.
*Ruto jabs Malon in the stomach and Malon falls in the potatoey goodness*
Magic24: HAHAHAHAHA! *Is also under the umbrella with Link*
Link: *Rather squished with a pained look on his face* Err, I personally want Malon to win...
Magic24: Why is that Linky-boy?
Konitsu: GOOD CHOICE! GET UP COW GIRL! GET OVER THERE AND BEAT THAT FISH STICK!
*Malon recovers and upper-cuts Ruto in the jaw. Ruto falls to the mush and Malon pounces on her*
Link: *Squints* Ohhh, Ruto drives me crazy.
Konitsu: She drives -everyone- crazy!
*Ruto gets back up and kicks Malon. Malon returns with a fist in Ruto's stomach. Ruto falls one last time and Malon is the victor*
Saria: Cool!
Nabooru: Well done!
Konitsu: DIE FISH DIE! *Gets ready to jump on Ruto with a knife*
Magic24: *Screaming like crazy* WOHOO! THAT WAS GREAT but....OH MY, KONITSU NO! SHE NEEDS TO LIVE!
*Ruto gets up and runs out of the ring screaming also*
Ruto: *Screaming* WHY IS SHE ALLOWED NEAR SHARP OBJECTS?
Konitsu: *Sits back down* Poo, so who's next?
Nerio: *From sock* LITTLE MISH PRISS!
Link: *Sits back and grins* hehehehe...
Magic24: ZELDA! NABOORU! In the ring please?
Konitsu: *Has learned Link's personal space* So Link-sama, who do you think will win?
Link: Sama?
Magic24: I'm going to ring the bell....
Nerio: *Free again* Sama-a Japanese suffix, put on a name of one deserving great respect.
Magic24: I'm gonna ring it......
Konitsu: Yes, see?
*RING!*
Link: *Sits back and watches fight wondering why the heck Konitsu called him sama...*
*Zelda screams because her feet are dirty, while Nabooru lunges at her with her sythe*
Zelda: AHH! I'm dirty! No NABOORU! You don't want to hurt the Princess do you?
*Ummm, Zelda got hurt, bad.*
Konitsu: That was fast, BLOOD!
Nerio: MEDICS!
Magic24: Enough! Jeez that was fast, and no killing either Nabooru!
*Konitsu is cheering like crazy while Zelda is pulled into the Paramedics section.*
Zelda: OW! I think I need a bath and some tissues and a drink and those little mints that you can chew and.....
*Zelda drifts away*
*Nabooru stands and bows triumphantly*
Magic24: So Link, who do you think will get booted off?
Link: I seriously don't know....Magic-chan....
Konitsu: *Waves Japenese dictionary in front of Magic's face* I good teacher!
Magic24: o.0??? Chan???
Nerio: Chan- a suffix for a girl younger or the same age as you, also designates friendship or strong affection.
Konitsu: See? I good teacher!
Magic24: YOU LOVE ME?
Link: No, girl, younger, FRIEND!
Magic24: Oohhhh kay Link-chan!
Konitsu: He called me Kon-chan earlier! Nerio does it too!
Nerio: Your not Kon-chan right now Konitsu-baka!
Konitsu: *Screams, then shoves Nerio in "The" sock*
Magic24: Where are Marin and Saria?
Link: *points* Over there...
*Everyone looks at them, they're doing nothing*
Marin: WHAT?
Nerio: *From inside sock* Eer, Sar-chan, YOHOO? Faerie friend lady?
*Saria ignores her and heads towards ring*
Konitsu: Is she dead?
Magic24: 0.0 ..... Don't know, lets start this thing!
*RING*
Konitsu: I don't know who to root for! Farore's Wind help whoever beats up a sage though...
Magic24: Poor Malon and Nabooru...
*Marin jumps into the mashed potatoes, and Saria easily fits through the ropes*
Magic24: I think Marin has the advantage here...
Link: *Mumbling* The ocarina Saria remember~
Konitsu: *Nudges Link* Shoosh about that!
Magic24: No cheating you two!
Both: We're not!
Magic24: *Glares at them* OK, go Saria!
*Saria gets a slap from Marin, and falls into the now very mushy potatoes*
Link, Konitsu, Nerio: THE OCARINA!
*Saria pulls out a small sword and pokes Marin in the arm, a cut*
Magic24: Are you deaf? OCARINA!!!
Konitsu: Not yet, sheesh!
*Saria looks confused, gets a punch, then pulls out ocarina*
Link: That one!
Magic24: There's more than one?
Link: *Gives a "What are you stupid?" Look at Magic* Jeez...
*Saria begins playing a haunting melody, which fills the ring with a green light*
Marin: What the heck?
Nerio: YAY!
Magic24: Ohhh, sooo greeeeeen...
Konitsu: Now the SWORD!
*Saria pulls out sword and lunges at the now stupified Marin*
Marin: AHHHH!!!
*Marin is seriously hurt and the paramedics come for her*
Magic24: OWW! That HAD to hurt!
Link: Wohoo! Magic unite!
Magic24: *Looks at Link* Ohhhhh kay....
Konitsu: Go Saria! *Lightning flashes*
Nerio: I thought you fixed that!
Magic24: AHH!!! I hate lightning!!!
Konitsu: Oops, sorry Magic, must have been that song...
*Marin is carried to the paramedics station and Saria is applauded*
All: YAY! WOHOO!!!
Magic24: *Clinging to Link in fear of lightning* Umm, hi, eer, sorry...
*Saria exits ring*
Konitsu: *More lightning* That's what you get when you get the electrical chair!
Magic24: AHHH! Wait, what electrical chair?
Nerio: Just don't ask.......
Konitsu: Hey, if I can aim this right I can hit..... *More lightning*
Nerio: Erm, I thought you took care of that problem.....
Magic24: OK, we have the three winners, lets line the up. NO KILLING!
Link: I think that's a good idea.....
Konitsu: What? Lining up or killing?
Zelda: *Just back from paramedics* I HATE YOU AND I HATE THIS!!!
Nerio: And we hate you too! *Swaps hand and more lightning*
Magic24: Don't diss the hostesses or you'll meet a terrible fate!
Zelda: What are you a fortune teller?
Magic24: *Glares at Zelda* Onto lighter things, the winner don't get booted off today!!!!
Konitsu: Poor Marin, oh well, I still have Saria and Malon and pointy-lady to root for!
Link: Yeah.....
Konitsu: But either Marin, Ruto, or Zelda gets "Booted off"
*All cheer, then look sad for losers*
Magic24: This is where the fans come in....
*Marin is also back from medic's tent*
Marin: It's up to YOU!
Link: *Points at camera* Yeah you!
Konitsu: Review or you could e-mail me or Magic24.....
Magic24: Reviews are good, it lets us know if we're loved or not!
Link: I know -I'm- loved!
Konitsu: I need to finish my Sailor Moon fic...
Magic24: *Slaps Link* And I need to write poetry....
All:* Wave cheerily*
Magic24: Next time, someone leaves the show, Link is full of himself, and can you say HYPER?
Konitsu: More wrestling?
Magic24: Eer, no.
Link: OK, everyone has to review to vote for who you want gone, Ruto Marin or Zelda!
Magic24: Yeah! And we also need to know to write a new chapter....
Konitsu: So until next time, we all wave you goodbye on....
All: FORCING LOVE!!!
~~~~~~~End of Chapter one~~~~~~~
That was it! How did ya like it? Please review, I can't stress that enough! This was my first fic, so any comments are good ones. Next time, things get crazy, hyper crazy. Link is as dreamy and cocky as ever. And someong already has to leave! *Waves bye bye* But that's up to you! Our fans, or not so much fans, either way! I love you whoever read this fic all the way through! Peace and equality!!! *Nobody has died during this episode of Forcing Love, just got hurt. And what the heck is under Zelda's chair????
Disclaimer: We don't own Link, or any other Zelda characters. We would like to purchase Link though. We DO own this show in all it's sarcastic glory, so no saying we ripped people off please!
~~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~~
*You enter a dark eerie room with an audience, everything is black. You see two figuers walk onto the stage....*
Konitsu: *Dressed in black bell bottoms and a silver shirt. She waves, gets strange looks...* Er, ya, I wandered out of the Sailor Moon section for a bit........introducing.....
Magic24: *Dressed in a navy blue tank with knee-high jeans. Waves, also gets strange looks...* I'm new! Anyway, as we were saying, introducing..... "Forcing Love"!!!!!!
*Audience stares blankly at them...*
Magic24: Tough croud!
Konitsu: Eer, this is a game show, about who's gonna get a chance to date Link!
Nerio (aka Konitsu's unwilling faerie): I WANT TO GO HOME!!!
Magic24: Oh hush up! Anyway, there are six contestants trying to win a date with the ever so dreamy Hero of Time..Link! Only one will win, and we can kick one out at a time, like Survivor, only not.
Konitsu: *Shuves Nerio in a sock, nuff' said* So now that that's over, lets introduce our players!!!
Konitsu: MARIN!!!
*Marin walks in, looks around confused, waves and sits down*
Magic24: Hi Marin, sorry to get you away from Koholint on such short notice...
Marin: It's Ok, I've never seen such places as this!
Magic24: Ok.... MALON!!!
*Comes out, gives a "What the heck!" look at Marin, and sits down*
Konitsu: Oh my god twins!
Malon: I'm not a twin! I swear! She's a clone or something...
Marin: Please, your obviously a spy trying to confuse people!
Magic24: Your both wrong, Nintendo ran out of ideas, so they just used the same person over and over and over....
Konitsu: I knew that! I DID! Ok.... ZELDA!!!
*Zelda walks out with nose held high and doesn't ecknowledge us folk on the stage as well*
Magic24: Uhh, hi Zelda!
Zelda: That's Princess Zelda to you!
Konitsu: We can call you anything we want if we want to, like Princess Poo or....
Zelda: Ug, fine, call me Zelda!
Magic24: I'll deal with her later.... *Blinks* RUTO!!!
*Ruto comes out, hops up and down, then sits*
Konitsu: oookkkkk....
Konitsu: SARIA!!!
*Saria comes out and shakes hands with Magic24 and Konitsu, also waves at audience*
Konitsu: Hey Saria!
Nerio: *From sock* MELP! MELP!!!
Saria: *Gives disgusted look* Are you abusing your faerie? Cause if you are....
Konitsu: Eer, why....NO! *Hides behind Magic24*
Magic24: *Hits sock* Noooo, the faerie is taking a nap....
Saria: Oh, OK.
Magic24:........ Yeah....... NABOORU!!!
*Nabooru comes out, Konitsu stares longingly at her sythe*
Konitsu: I want that pointy thing!!!
Magic24: Yeah! Those are really cool Nabooru, where'd ya get it?
Nabooru: Konitsu should know, she was there purchasing explosives the other day.....
Konitsu: *Hides reciept from "Weapons R' Us* What ever do you mean?
Magic24: *Glances at Konitsu* AND OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST, THE ONE WHICH THIS GAMESHOW IS BASED UPON, PLEASE WELCOME, LINK!!!!
*Audience screams as he comes out, and Konitsu and Magic24 are held back until he's in his seat*
Magic24: *Drooling* Eeer, and there you have it! Our guests for our show!!!
Konitsu: *After hooking something under Zelda's seat* Erm, YUP! Hi Link....
Link: Wait, where am I?
Magic24: In mine and Konitsu's own world....
Konitsu: Yeah, hehehe, and you can't go back until we say!
Link: And this is a show?
Magic24: Duh
Link: What's it about?
Konitsu: *Whispers* Cute but stupid...
Magic24: *Sighs* It's a dating show. *Bonks Konitsu on the head*
Konitsu: OW! Hey does that mean me and Linky-boy can....
Magic24: 0.0 NO!!! Not for us, for the contestants! *Looks at Link dreamily*
Konitsu: Poo....but....FINE!! *Stomps off, then comes back holding an ebony haired man, who is quickly hauled off by security* .....DOUBLE POO!!!!
Magic24: Konitsu please...
*After a minute, the show is kicking into the other girls*
Malon: REALLY! I get to date Link!
Marin: Nu uh, ME!!!
Zelda: PLEASE! I'm the most worthy to even hold his hand!
Saria: I think he's a bit old for me...
Nabooru: I think he's saucy....
*Marin pounces on Zelda resulting in a cat fight*
Magic24: YOUR ALL WRONG, IT'S ME!!! Oops, forgot....hehe....
Konitsu: *Watching fight* WOHOO! KICK HER ARSE!!!
*Security comes out and separates the two*
Konitsu: But...Zelda...then.... I WANT LINK!!! *Starts crying anime style*
Magic24: *Pats Konitsu on the back* There there, we all want Link... um... Let's get into the rules, shall we?
Link: Man I must be hot!
Konitsu: *Sniff* OK, rule time...
Magic24: *Pulls out extremly long piece of paper with only a few scribbles on it* AHEM! Rule numero uno: No fighting with each other unless it's part of the "Events"
*Ruto is staring at Link with glaze over her eyes and foam on the mouth*
Konitsu: MEDICS! We have a case of Link-itis again!!!
Link: 3rd time this week!
*Ruto is revived and blindfolded*
Konitsu: *Glares at Marin and Zelda, then winks at Marin and gestures under Zelda's stool* Nember zwei: No swearing unless we say so, or we do it... *Smiles sheepishly*
Magic24: *Smiles at Link* Nember three: No hog tying Link to a chair and taking him away from the game!
Konitsu: I swear it wasn't me! *Coughs*
Link: WHAT! I should hope not!!!
Konitsu: Number four, no dissin' the hostesses folks!!!
Magic24: YEAH! I like that rule! Number five, no cheating on any of the events!
Zelda: *Has obviously had enough* I don't have to take this garbage! I'm the freaking Princess of Hyrule!!!
Nerio: *Somehow free* Can it blondie!
Konitsu: Rule number six: You win one, only one date with Link, then he's -ours- unless I say different!
Magic24: *Swears under breath* Number seven: If yo break any of the rules you get booted off this world with no Link!
Konitsu: Unless I say different....Number eight: Konitsu can do anything she wants, even kidnap Linky-boy!!!
Magic24: Number nine: Rule number eight expired yesterday!
Konitsu: Rule number ten! RULE NUMBER EIGHT NEVER EXPIRES!!!
Link: Sheesh, hey, how did I get here?
Nerio: *Sighs* They *Points at the arguing Konitsu and Magic24* want you, they do to! *Points at camera and audience*
Konitsu: Also the magic portal...
Magic24: Aaaannnnyyywaaayyy, you can't kidnap Link -yet- because then there would be no show! AHEM! Rule number eleven: There will be events to determine who is worthy of Link. Whoever does the worst at them gets booted off by us or our fans, good at them or not!
Ruto: What kind of events?
Konitsu: This and that....
Nerio: MASHED POTATO WRESTLING!!!
Konitsu: Can me and Link wrestle???
Link: I don't usually wrestle....
Magic24: WE AREN'T IN THIS GAME!!!
Konitsu: Practice wrestle?
Magic24: No!
Konitsu: AWW!!! Number twelve: We're the judges, and the fans too, so you'll be well advised to be nice to us!
Magic24: Last rule is nobody can even TRY to get out of this place!
Link: Do I participate?
Konitsu: NOPE! You sit with me and Magic the whoollleeee time!!!
Link: Help!
Magic24: *Pulls Konitsu off him* STOP IT YOUR SCARING PEOPLE!!!
Link: *Searching himself for Master Sword, only to find it missing* Ummm, nothing.
Konitsu: FARORE'S WIND I WANNA!
Ruto: LIIIIIINK! I LOVE YOU AND I'LL WIN FOR YOU!!!
Link: Oh goddess....
Konitsu: *Weilds axe and runs at Ruto* YAHHH!!!!
Magic24: OK! Enough of that! Let's tell them about the first event, shall we Konitsu? *Pulls Konitsu next to her*
Konitsu: *Sniffles and puts axe away* Mashed Potato wrestling???
Nerio: God what a hic...
Malon: I love mashed potatoes!
Marin: No -I- love mashed potatoes!
*Give each other look before backing down*
Magic24: WE ALL LOVE MASHED POTATOES! Ok, to the ring!
*Everyone follow her to the ring*
Konitsu: WOHOO!! *Grabs popcorn and plops down in her chair to watch* I missed the Potato Fest last year, this'll more than make up for it!
Nerio: *Mumbling* You are the most back-country peron I've ever seen!
Magic24: Konitsu and I will assign partners, whoever wins gets to stay here and not get booted off! That means three of you won't be leaving just yet... The others will be voted on by our fans, and then will leave. Whoever is the least popular gets off! Buh-Bye! SEE YA!!!
Konitsu: I want to see Zelda get that spiffyidy little dress of hers dirty!!!
Magic24:*Pulls Ruto and Malon next to each other* YOU WILL FIGHT!!!
Konitsu: Your going down fish girl! *Starts jumping up and down*
Malon: I have to fight a tuna?
Ruto: I'M NOT A TUNA AND YOUR GONNA PAY FARM GIRL!!!
Magic24: Enough! Zelda aaannnnddd Nabooru!!!
Link: *Looks confused and pulls Konitsu back to her seat to ovoid flailing arms*
Zelda: I am NOT fighting in potatoes, let along with her!
Magic24: *pulls out knife* Wanna make something of it Princess?
Konitsu: YOU'LL DO IT! *Pulls out Master Sword and attacks* AHH!!!
Zelda: *Running* AHHH!! EVERYONE HERE IS CRAZY EXCEPT ME!
Link: Uh hey, isn't that my sword?
Saria: *Too busy laughing to say anything*
*Nabooru pounces and pulls everyone off each other half laughing herself*
Konitsu: FINE! Marin and Saria fight!
Saria: I can't fight I'm too young!
Malon: That's your excuse for everything!
Magic24: *Plops down next to Link and puts away knife* Lets start with Malon and Ruto.
Konitsu: *Sits on the other side of him* That's the way it goes! *Rings bell*
*RING*
*Malon jumps into the potatoes and Ruto does the same*
Magic24: *Pulls out eye-glasses* Yup, this should be good!
*Ruto attempts to cut Malon with her fins, but falls in Idaho's finest instant mashed potatoes instead*
Konitsu: *Under umbrella with Link* Ohh, too bad!!!
*Malon starts scratching at Ruto's fishy skin...*
Ruto: ARG!!!
Nerio: Go Ruto! Eep...
Konitsu: *Shoves Nerio in another sock* We'll do the rooting here.
*Ruto jabs Malon in the stomach and Malon falls in the potatoey goodness*
Magic24: HAHAHAHAHA! *Is also under the umbrella with Link*
Link: *Rather squished with a pained look on his face* Err, I personally want Malon to win...
Magic24: Why is that Linky-boy?
Konitsu: GOOD CHOICE! GET UP COW GIRL! GET OVER THERE AND BEAT THAT FISH STICK!
*Malon recovers and upper-cuts Ruto in the jaw. Ruto falls to the mush and Malon pounces on her*
Link: *Squints* Ohhh, Ruto drives me crazy.
Konitsu: She drives -everyone- crazy!
*Ruto gets back up and kicks Malon. Malon returns with a fist in Ruto's stomach. Ruto falls one last time and Malon is the victor*
Saria: Cool!
Nabooru: Well done!
Konitsu: DIE FISH DIE! *Gets ready to jump on Ruto with a knife*
Magic24: *Screaming like crazy* WOHOO! THAT WAS GREAT but....OH MY, KONITSU NO! SHE NEEDS TO LIVE!
*Ruto gets up and runs out of the ring screaming also*
Ruto: *Screaming* WHY IS SHE ALLOWED NEAR SHARP OBJECTS?
Konitsu: *Sits back down* Poo, so who's next?
Nerio: *From sock* LITTLE MISH PRISS!
Link: *Sits back and grins* hehehehe...
Magic24: ZELDA! NABOORU! In the ring please?
Konitsu: *Has learned Link's personal space* So Link-sama, who do you think will win?
Link: Sama?
Magic24: I'm going to ring the bell....
Nerio: *Free again* Sama-a Japanese suffix, put on a name of one deserving great respect.
Magic24: I'm gonna ring it......
Konitsu: Yes, see?
*RING!*
Link: *Sits back and watches fight wondering why the heck Konitsu called him sama...*
*Zelda screams because her feet are dirty, while Nabooru lunges at her with her sythe*
Zelda: AHH! I'm dirty! No NABOORU! You don't want to hurt the Princess do you?
*Ummm, Zelda got hurt, bad.*
Konitsu: That was fast, BLOOD!
Nerio: MEDICS!
Magic24: Enough! Jeez that was fast, and no killing either Nabooru!
*Konitsu is cheering like crazy while Zelda is pulled into the Paramedics section.*
Zelda: OW! I think I need a bath and some tissues and a drink and those little mints that you can chew and.....
*Zelda drifts away*
*Nabooru stands and bows triumphantly*
Magic24: So Link, who do you think will get booted off?
Link: I seriously don't know....Magic-chan....
Konitsu: *Waves Japenese dictionary in front of Magic's face* I good teacher!
Magic24: o.0??? Chan???
Nerio: Chan- a suffix for a girl younger or the same age as you, also designates friendship or strong affection.
Konitsu: See? I good teacher!
Magic24: YOU LOVE ME?
Link: No, girl, younger, FRIEND!
Magic24: Oohhhh kay Link-chan!
Konitsu: He called me Kon-chan earlier! Nerio does it too!
Nerio: Your not Kon-chan right now Konitsu-baka!
Konitsu: *Screams, then shoves Nerio in "The" sock*
Magic24: Where are Marin and Saria?
Link: *points* Over there...
*Everyone looks at them, they're doing nothing*
Marin: WHAT?
Nerio: *From inside sock* Eer, Sar-chan, YOHOO? Faerie friend lady?
*Saria ignores her and heads towards ring*
Konitsu: Is she dead?
Magic24: 0.0 ..... Don't know, lets start this thing!
*RING*
Konitsu: I don't know who to root for! Farore's Wind help whoever beats up a sage though...
Magic24: Poor Malon and Nabooru...
*Marin jumps into the mashed potatoes, and Saria easily fits through the ropes*
Magic24: I think Marin has the advantage here...
Link: *Mumbling* The ocarina Saria remember~
Konitsu: *Nudges Link* Shoosh about that!
Magic24: No cheating you two!
Both: We're not!
Magic24: *Glares at them* OK, go Saria!
*Saria gets a slap from Marin, and falls into the now very mushy potatoes*
Link, Konitsu, Nerio: THE OCARINA!
*Saria pulls out a small sword and pokes Marin in the arm, a cut*
Magic24: Are you deaf? OCARINA!!!
Konitsu: Not yet, sheesh!
*Saria looks confused, gets a punch, then pulls out ocarina*
Link: That one!
Magic24: There's more than one?
Link: *Gives a "What are you stupid?" Look at Magic* Jeez...
*Saria begins playing a haunting melody, which fills the ring with a green light*
Marin: What the heck?
Nerio: YAY!
Magic24: Ohhh, sooo greeeeeen...
Konitsu: Now the SWORD!
*Saria pulls out sword and lunges at the now stupified Marin*
Marin: AHHHH!!!
*Marin is seriously hurt and the paramedics come for her*
Magic24: OWW! That HAD to hurt!
Link: Wohoo! Magic unite!
Magic24: *Looks at Link* Ohhhhh kay....
Konitsu: Go Saria! *Lightning flashes*
Nerio: I thought you fixed that!
Magic24: AHH!!! I hate lightning!!!
Konitsu: Oops, sorry Magic, must have been that song...
*Marin is carried to the paramedics station and Saria is applauded*
All: YAY! WOHOO!!!
Magic24: *Clinging to Link in fear of lightning* Umm, hi, eer, sorry...
*Saria exits ring*
Konitsu: *More lightning* That's what you get when you get the electrical chair!
Magic24: AHHH! Wait, what electrical chair?
Nerio: Just don't ask.......
Konitsu: Hey, if I can aim this right I can hit..... *More lightning*
Nerio: Erm, I thought you took care of that problem.....
Magic24: OK, we have the three winners, lets line the up. NO KILLING!
Link: I think that's a good idea.....
Konitsu: What? Lining up or killing?
Zelda: *Just back from paramedics* I HATE YOU AND I HATE THIS!!!
Nerio: And we hate you too! *Swaps hand and more lightning*
Magic24: Don't diss the hostesses or you'll meet a terrible fate!
Zelda: What are you a fortune teller?
Magic24: *Glares at Zelda* Onto lighter things, the winner don't get booted off today!!!!
Konitsu: Poor Marin, oh well, I still have Saria and Malon and pointy-lady to root for!
Link: Yeah.....
Konitsu: But either Marin, Ruto, or Zelda gets "Booted off"
*All cheer, then look sad for losers*
Magic24: This is where the fans come in....
*Marin is also back from medic's tent*
Marin: It's up to YOU!
Link: *Points at camera* Yeah you!
Konitsu: Review or you could e-mail me or Magic24.....
Magic24: Reviews are good, it lets us know if we're loved or not!
Link: I know -I'm- loved!
Konitsu: I need to finish my Sailor Moon fic...
Magic24: *Slaps Link* And I need to write poetry....
All:* Wave cheerily*
Magic24: Next time, someone leaves the show, Link is full of himself, and can you say HYPER?
Konitsu: More wrestling?
Magic24: Eer, no.
Link: OK, everyone has to review to vote for who you want gone, Ruto Marin or Zelda!
Magic24: Yeah! And we also need to know to write a new chapter....
Konitsu: So until next time, we all wave you goodbye on....
All: FORCING LOVE!!!
~~~~~~~End of Chapter one~~~~~~~
That was it! How did ya like it? Please review, I can't stress that enough! This was my first fic, so any comments are good ones. Next time, things get crazy, hyper crazy. Link is as dreamy and cocky as ever. And someong already has to leave! *Waves bye bye* But that's up to you! Our fans, or not so much fans, either way! I love you whoever read this fic all the way through! Peace and equality!!! *Nobody has died during this episode of Forcing Love, just got hurt. And what the heck is under Zelda's chair????