A/N: AND SO HERE IS THE VERY LONG AWAITED 3RD CHAPTER OF MINE AND KONITSU'S WONDERFUL FIC! I know it took us a while, but I promise that this one may be the funniest one yet. I'm serious! I laughed so much just writing it that I spit on the screen! Ok, too much info, but you get it. OK, here is the very anticipated chapter of "Forcing Love"...
DISCLAIMER: We don't own Zelda. Nintendo does. Ain't that just so nifty? If we owned Zelda, it would consist of hot guys worshiping Konitsu and I. SO NOW YOU KNOW WE DON'T OWN IT! We also don't own "Home Improvment", PIMKIE, Nintendo itself, and if there's a sport on racing pigs, we don't own it either. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
~~~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~~~
Konitsu: *Skips out in black bell bottoms and a tight blue tank top that reads 'Pimkie' in black glitter, her hair is up in one bun on each side of her head and she's wearing Birkenstock sandles* HI ALL!
Magic24: *Runs out after Konitsu wearing a Nintendo shirt that reads "I SAVED...STUFF" and a blue jean-skirt. Her hair is in braids like a jamacan person, and she has fish-net stockings on* YAY! GROOVY! HI! Guess what? OUR SHOW IS A HIT! And now we're back!
Konitsu: I went shopping at... PIMKIE! *runs around dancing happily*
Magic24: I SAVED STUFF! *Dances with Konitsu*
Konitsu: GO US DUDE! *continues dancing*
Magic24: *Regains herself* So anyway, people have voted! WOW! And this is another show of.. SAY IT WITH ME!
Konitsu: FORCING LOVE!
Nerio: You two don't have to force idiotcy, do you?
Magic24: YES! Very good Konitsu! Nerio is back, oh joy. Let's bring out the contestants and LINK!
Konitsu: Oh Link, how I love thee, your hair, is golden sunshine, your eyes, liquid pools of the clearest water...
*Everyone walks out, and the girls swoon and the guys whistle*
Nerio: Oh Konitsu, your brain, the size of a peanut.
Magic24: And how you kill stuff, oh how magical...
Link: Um, nice poem?
Malon: Oh god... I hope I'm not voted off...
Konitsu: DARN TOOTIN IT'S NICE!
Magic24: YES! WE'RE POETS!
Nabooru: You wish!
Nerio: God save us all.
Magic24: Are we all still bitter about the whole "Mountain Dew" thing?
Konitsu: *clears throat* My blood flows in endless rivers, my end is so divine, God gave me no choice, why live life on a line?
Nabooru: *Steps back* That's.... nice...
Magic24: Can we tell who got voted off? WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!
Nerio: She'll get like that once in a while...
Konitsu: I LOVE POETRY! Yes, Magic?
Magic24: People can't vote for people not nominated to be KILL- I mean, voted off! Just thought I'd clear that up! It won't help their chances...
Malon: OH GOD! I'M GONNA DIE!
Link: Calm down!
Konitsu: No, it's just that some idiot voted for Ruto when she WASN'T NOMINATED!
Nerio: It won't work people, they're too...well, I won't say smart, but...
Magic24: Though tis' our fan. But alas, Ruto isn't nominated... so... she... she... STAYS!
Ruto: BOO-YAH!
Magic24: Anyway, now we announce our lovely voter-off person!
Saria: YYEESSS!
Nerio: Don't get to cocky, forest girl.
Magic24: HAHA! Konitsu, please do the honors!
Malon: OH GOD HELP ME! LORD OF ALL CUCKOOS!
Link: Fried Chicken. Yum.
Konitsu: Ah, and we are oh so sad to vote off one green haired beauty, but *Rubs hands toghether* It's time for me to start a forest fire!
Magic24: ONLY YOU CAN START A FOREST FIRE!
Nerio: *manical giggle*
Konitsu: Got that right!
Malon: I STAY ALIVE!
Nabooru: I STAY ALIVE TOO!
Saria: NOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T DIE! I'M ALWAYS TO YOUNG TO DIE!
Magic24: Oh grow up. Seriously, you freak me out with your eternal youth...
Konitsu: Say 'bye-bye', *waves* Bye bye *Sparks at Saria and sets her hair on fire*
Nerio: MWHAHAHA!
Magic24: *Waves her hands and starts to open a black hole in the ground* BYE SARIA!
Saria: *falls into pit* Nooooo!
Konitsu: BYE-BYE!
Link: I can't watch! *Stares at Saria's burning hair, as she falls* Maybe I can...
Magic24: YAY!
Nerio: It's a super nova...
Konitsu: ddduuuudddeeee....
Magic24: That was totally worth it. Oh yeah, Malon almost died.
Link: That. was. freaky.
Malon: DEAR GOD! I CAN'T LOSE!.
Konitsu: You can't lost? Lose, dear, lose.
Nerio: GRAMMER POLICE!
Magic24: Oh, I'm so sowwy. BUT LETS MOVE ON!
Nabooru: Oh, that HAD to sting... Did I mention I want my hair fully intact if I die?
Konitsu: Yes, many times. Now! MOVING ON!
Ruto: I just don't want to think about what they'll do to me if I die...
Link: Fish sticks!
Magic24: Guess what time it is? NO, NOT TOOL TIME! EVENT TIME!
Konitsu: *singing* FISH AND CHIPS AND VINEGAR! VINAGER!
Ruto: AHHHHH!
Nerio: Bad joke, two bad jokes.
Konitsu: Pepper, pepper, pepper, salt!
Malon: Just get on with it...
Konitsu: Magic, I'll allow you to do the honors.
Magic24: I shall lead you over to the pig pen, where you shall pick a piggie!
Link: I really feel sorry for you ladies...
Malon: Why?
Nerio: o.0 I should've guessed.
Konitsu: PIG WRESTLING!
Magic24: Then, you'll all saddle up... AND RACE EACH OTHER!
Konitsu: Or racing...
Magic24: Sorry, Konitsu. Not today...
Link: You all scare me.
Ruto: WHAT THE HECK?
Nerio: Don't worry, you... might...live.
Magic24: *Giggles a lot* PIGGIE RACING! I get to gamble cause I am magical!
Konitsu: -I- would have had you wrestling the pigs, but Magic insisted.
*Every girl walks over to look at the pigs, while Konitsu and Magic set up the track. Link is left to follow them and help.*
Konitsu: Cow pie here, mud hole there *points at locations and said opsitcals spring up*
Magic24: Biiiiiig muddy puddle here. Pig chow here... *Does the same*
Link: I repeat, you all scare me.
Nerio: Hopefully you won't have to get used to them.
Magic24: And Link, you can sit and watch. OK! Let's turn back and see the pigs they selected!
Nabooru: *standing next to a mean looking pig that keeps snorting*
Malon: *Standing next to a black and white pig that looks like a cow*
Magic24: SSOOOWWWWEEEYYYY!
Konitsu: Here, piggy, piggy!
Ruto: *Standing next to a white pig, that looks sickly* THEY MADE ME PICK LAST!
Magic24: And Marin's choice is...
Marin: *rolls eyes, standing next to a gentle looking pig she has adorned with sea shells* Isn't she just precious?
Konitsu: Wonderful, deary.
Link: A pig is a pig.
Nerio: Sow.
Konitsu: OINK!
Magic24: OK! Marin and Ruto, you race. And Malon and Nabooru, you race!
Nerio: I repeat, Sow.
Link: Sow, whatever.
Nabooru: Whatever.
Magic24: WHATEVER!
Konitsu: The two winners will not have the option of being voted off! The two losers, well, one of them faces... DOOM!
Magic24: AND THE OTHER I THROW IN THE MUD!
Ruto: I can't win on this thing!
Konitsu: That's the plan...I'll get you my pretty, and your little pig, too!
Nerio: Good god...
Magic24: Oink Oink-freaking- oink!
Konitsu: OOOIIIINNNNKKKKKK!
Link: Can we go now?
Nerio: No, they're not done yet.
Konitsu: Oinky, Oinky, Oink, OOOIIINNNKKK!
Link: --; how could ya tell?
Magic24: Oinky little piggies go OINK!
*Pigs look at Konitsu and Magic, who are very scary*
Konitsu: BIG PIG GO OOOIIIINNKKK!
Nerio: mmm, bacon!
Magic24: PIGS MAKE HAM!
*Pigs squeal in fear of the rabid fairies, humans, ect.*
Malon: *Watching the pig discussion* Oh god, I'm surrounded my morons...
Konitsu: AND MANY OTHER DELICIOUS MEAT PRODUCT AND BY-PRODUCTS!
Nabooru: Your first clue...
Magic24: YES THEY DO! OINKY OINKY OINKY OINK! I'm done.
Ruto: I am now scared of pigs.
Konitsu: One more *deep breath* OOOOIIIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKK!!! okay, done.
Marin: I'm scared of them *points at Konitsu and Magic*
Link: Thank the Godesses...
Magic24: Ok, onto the track!
Nerio: It's over.
Konitsu: Contestants, to your pigs! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT!
Marin: You. Have. Mental. Problems.
Magic24: WALK THEM SOWS OVER TO THAT STARTING LINE! *Everyone does so*
Malon: What gave it away?
Nerio: Pigs. Some of them are male.
Konitsu: WHATEVER!
Marin: Oh, I don't know... TAKE A GUESS!
Magic24: WHATEVER! Ok, Malon and Nabooru, you RACE FIRST!
Link: I'm just gonna step away now.
Konitsu: Yes, we should.
Magic24: *Walks up the hill with a big ol' whistle thingy and sits down*
Link: I have the feeling this is the type of thing you watch out of morbid curiosity, like the P-word movie.
Konitsu: I watched it 'cause I was invited...
Nerio: Yes, we've heard the story.
Magic24: So who do you guys think will win?
Konitsu: Malon, because I stage... *gets bonked on the head by a fast flying Nerio*
*Malon gets on the pig, which is funny to watch, and Nabooru does the same. They are now awaiting Magic's whistle*
Konitsu: YEE HAW! RIDE 'EM PIG GIRL!
Magic24: I hope Malon will win too! *Gets ready to blow the whistle*
Link: --; I want to go home.
Nerio: We all do, and just blow the whistle already.
Magic24: *BBBBIIIIIGGGG BBBRREEEAAATTHHEEEE..... Little toot* GO!
Konitsu: GIDDY UP!
*Malon and Nabooru start kicking the pigs, who stand there watching the mud. Soon they start to walk, and slowly lie in the mud*
Magic24: MOVVVEEE STUPID PIGS!
Konitsu: MWHAHA!
Nerio: And how did you plan on this working? Morons.
*Pigs get scared of Magic and Konitsu, and run really fast around the track. Nabooru falls off, so Malon runs ahead*
Konitsu: GET UP POINTY LADY! MWHAHAHA!
Link: What is -wrong- with you?
*Soon Malon's is in a puddle, and so she gets off and pushes the pig. Nabooru isn't far behind, but her pig stops for some grub*
Nerio: She has her 'mental problems' list alphabitized.
Magic24: HAHAHAHA! PUSH THE PIGGY!
Link: --;
*Malon gets the pig going, and crosses the finish line. Nabooru's has fully stopped and is lying in the mud*
Konitsu: MWHAHAHA!
Malon: *BIG BREATH* I WWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!
Magic24: AND IT'S OVER! PIG/COW GIRL WINS THE FIRST RACE!
Link: And my new quote for today "You all scare me"
Konitsu: YEE HAW!
Magic24: I LUV THIS THING!
Malon: Can I clean up now?
Nabooru: *mutters curse words*
Magic24: And I thought Nabooru's pig would win...
Konitsu: I did too, ponder the mysteries of life...
Malon: CAN I CLEAN UP NOW?
Nerio: Don't ponder to much Konitsu, we wouldn't want you to self-combust... YES! CLEAN UP!
Magic24: The ways of god is weird... YES, YES YOU CAN! *Runs down and pushes Nabooru in the mud* HAHAHA! *Runs back up the hill*
*Malon goes off to clean up, while Ruto and Marin set up to race.*
Nabooru: *runs after magic, syth held high*
Konitsu: I wonder if it would be more fun to intervine, or to watch magic get her arse kicked...
Link: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
Nerio: A LOT is wrong with them.
Magic24: *Trips Nabooru* HAHAHA! *Runs away towards the pig pen*
Nabooru: *tackles Magic from behind and starts a cat fight...which Nabooru promptly wins before Link gets sick of them and intervines*
Magic24: *Whining* I could have had her... If I had my marker.....
Malon: Ok, I'm clean and back, who's next?
Konitsu: *twirls frying pan* Weapons of world desctructions...don't leave home without them!
Nerio: --;
Magic24: *Gets at the top of the hill* Ok, let's get ready...
Konitsu: RUTO AND MARIN! Get on the pigs and line up!
Magic24: *BIIIIG BREATH..... LITTLE WHISTLE BLOW* GOOO GOOO GOOO!
Malon: Why do you do that?
Ruto: *grumbles about 'stupid sick pigs' as her coughs and chockes when she tries to get it to go*
Magic24: It's fun.
*Marin whispers calm words to her pig, and it ambles slowly down the race way, ignoring all obsticals, while Ruto has submitted to the 'push and curse' tactic for her pig... I think you know who wins*
Magic24: HAHAHA! GO SEA PIG GO!
Malon: Why couldn't my pig do that?
Konitsu: *watching Marin's pig amble slowly along* This is going to take FOREVER!
Nerio: No idea.
Link: You. Are. All. Insane.
Nerio: Your first clue...
Magic24: It's like a big snail...
Konitsu: *singing* IT'S THE PIG RACE THAT NEVER ENDS!
Magic24: *singing* YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND!
Malon: DEAR GOD!
Konitsu: SOME PEOPLE STARTING RACING IT NOT NOWING IT WAS SLOW!
Link: *grumbling* If I had my sword with me right now...
Marin: *about halfway down the track* Good piggy.
Magic24: AND THEY JUST KEPT ON RACING SO THEIR HEAD KONITSU WOULDN'T BLOW!
Ruto: *about two inches away from the starting line* Stupid pig.
Malon: STOP! GO MARIN! WIN THE DAMN RACE SO THEY'LL STOP!
Konitsu: IT'S THE PIG RACE THAT NEVER ENDS!
Marin: You shouldn't scream, she's going just as fast as she can! *pats piggy*
Magic24: AND IT WILL GO ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!
Link: I can't believe I let them keep me here...
Nerio: I'm halfway to singing myself.
Link: *goes barbarian tactic on the two hostess and knocks them out*
Nerio: Nevermind...
Magic24: *Grumbling while being unconious* Some Piggies, started racing it...
Malon: My hero
Konitsu: *talking in her sleep* Pretty pigg....sooooeeeyyy.
Link: Happy to oblidge.
Nerio: He made them stop! I LOVE YOU MAN! *glomps Link as best a fairy can*
Magic24: *Recovers* Why the hell did you do that? I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU WANT TO DIE?
Konitsu: *wakes up* Do not kill the bishie! SAVE THE BISHIES!!! *blinks* Yama-sama.
Link: *Rolls eyes*
Magic24: Very well. But never hit me again, I've already been beat up today... *Watching race* WHY ISN'T THIS OVER YET?
Nerio: Yes, Konitsu, chase after Yamato.
Malon: Go faaaaar away....
Konitsu: Yes, it is over, cast your vote, I most go to my annual Yama stalkers meeting now... I bid you good day. *waves and wonders off*
Nerio: Don't. wanna. know.
Link: No one does.
Magic24: I WILL FINISH THEN! *Grabs Konitsu* Vote for either Ruto or Nabooru.
Malon: You can't vote me off!
Ruto: I DON'T WANT TO BE A FISH STICK!
Konitsu: *zombie mode* Must...stalk...
Nerio: --;;
Konitsu: Ishida...booty...good...
Nerio: 0.o
Magic24: THE PIGGIE JUMPED OVER THE MOON! *Blinks* Oh never mind.... Anyway, vote vote vote!
Link: And were leaving *Hurridly closes the curtain, but you catch a glimpse of Konitsu runnig off after another blonde bishie*
*You can also hear Magic singing the "Song that Never Ends" and people hitting her.*
*sparkly letters* THE END... for now! *dum dum ddduuummm* MHUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA *evil giggle*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: AND SO ENDS THIS WEIRD STORY OF OURS! DEAR GOD! Now, vote for either Ruto, or Nabooru. I think Ruto will go, but just think, wouldn't it be cool if we FORCED LINK TO DATE HER? *Giggles* THAT WOULD BE SO WEIRD! And fun to watch... Next week: ROBOT TORTURE AND ANGRY PIGEON POOP! *Giggles again* We just came up with that! See ya next time, and review! THERE WILL BE A PRIZE COMING UP FOR YOU GUYS SHORTLY! ~Magic24
DISCLAIMER: We don't own Zelda. Nintendo does. Ain't that just so nifty? If we owned Zelda, it would consist of hot guys worshiping Konitsu and I. SO NOW YOU KNOW WE DON'T OWN IT! We also don't own "Home Improvment", PIMKIE, Nintendo itself, and if there's a sport on racing pigs, we don't own it either. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
~~~~~~~Forcing Love~~~~~~~
Konitsu: *Skips out in black bell bottoms and a tight blue tank top that reads 'Pimkie' in black glitter, her hair is up in one bun on each side of her head and she's wearing Birkenstock sandles* HI ALL!
Magic24: *Runs out after Konitsu wearing a Nintendo shirt that reads "I SAVED...STUFF" and a blue jean-skirt. Her hair is in braids like a jamacan person, and she has fish-net stockings on* YAY! GROOVY! HI! Guess what? OUR SHOW IS A HIT! And now we're back!
Konitsu: I went shopping at... PIMKIE! *runs around dancing happily*
Magic24: I SAVED STUFF! *Dances with Konitsu*
Konitsu: GO US DUDE! *continues dancing*
Magic24: *Regains herself* So anyway, people have voted! WOW! And this is another show of.. SAY IT WITH ME!
Konitsu: FORCING LOVE!
Nerio: You two don't have to force idiotcy, do you?
Magic24: YES! Very good Konitsu! Nerio is back, oh joy. Let's bring out the contestants and LINK!
Konitsu: Oh Link, how I love thee, your hair, is golden sunshine, your eyes, liquid pools of the clearest water...
*Everyone walks out, and the girls swoon and the guys whistle*
Nerio: Oh Konitsu, your brain, the size of a peanut.
Magic24: And how you kill stuff, oh how magical...
Link: Um, nice poem?
Malon: Oh god... I hope I'm not voted off...
Konitsu: DARN TOOTIN IT'S NICE!
Magic24: YES! WE'RE POETS!
Nabooru: You wish!
Nerio: God save us all.
Magic24: Are we all still bitter about the whole "Mountain Dew" thing?
Konitsu: *clears throat* My blood flows in endless rivers, my end is so divine, God gave me no choice, why live life on a line?
Nabooru: *Steps back* That's.... nice...
Magic24: Can we tell who got voted off? WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!
Nerio: She'll get like that once in a while...
Konitsu: I LOVE POETRY! Yes, Magic?
Magic24: People can't vote for people not nominated to be KILL- I mean, voted off! Just thought I'd clear that up! It won't help their chances...
Malon: OH GOD! I'M GONNA DIE!
Link: Calm down!
Konitsu: No, it's just that some idiot voted for Ruto when she WASN'T NOMINATED!
Nerio: It won't work people, they're too...well, I won't say smart, but...
Magic24: Though tis' our fan. But alas, Ruto isn't nominated... so... she... she... STAYS!
Ruto: BOO-YAH!
Magic24: Anyway, now we announce our lovely voter-off person!
Saria: YYEESSS!
Nerio: Don't get to cocky, forest girl.
Magic24: HAHA! Konitsu, please do the honors!
Malon: OH GOD HELP ME! LORD OF ALL CUCKOOS!
Link: Fried Chicken. Yum.
Konitsu: Ah, and we are oh so sad to vote off one green haired beauty, but *Rubs hands toghether* It's time for me to start a forest fire!
Magic24: ONLY YOU CAN START A FOREST FIRE!
Nerio: *manical giggle*
Konitsu: Got that right!
Malon: I STAY ALIVE!
Nabooru: I STAY ALIVE TOO!
Saria: NOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T DIE! I'M ALWAYS TO YOUNG TO DIE!
Magic24: Oh grow up. Seriously, you freak me out with your eternal youth...
Konitsu: Say 'bye-bye', *waves* Bye bye *Sparks at Saria and sets her hair on fire*
Nerio: MWHAHAHA!
Magic24: *Waves her hands and starts to open a black hole in the ground* BYE SARIA!
Saria: *falls into pit* Nooooo!
Konitsu: BYE-BYE!
Link: I can't watch! *Stares at Saria's burning hair, as she falls* Maybe I can...
Magic24: YAY!
Nerio: It's a super nova...
Konitsu: ddduuuudddeeee....
Magic24: That was totally worth it. Oh yeah, Malon almost died.
Link: That. was. freaky.
Malon: DEAR GOD! I CAN'T LOSE!.
Konitsu: You can't lost? Lose, dear, lose.
Nerio: GRAMMER POLICE!
Magic24: Oh, I'm so sowwy. BUT LETS MOVE ON!
Nabooru: Oh, that HAD to sting... Did I mention I want my hair fully intact if I die?
Konitsu: Yes, many times. Now! MOVING ON!
Ruto: I just don't want to think about what they'll do to me if I die...
Link: Fish sticks!
Magic24: Guess what time it is? NO, NOT TOOL TIME! EVENT TIME!
Konitsu: *singing* FISH AND CHIPS AND VINEGAR! VINAGER!
Ruto: AHHHHH!
Nerio: Bad joke, two bad jokes.
Konitsu: Pepper, pepper, pepper, salt!
Malon: Just get on with it...
Konitsu: Magic, I'll allow you to do the honors.
Magic24: I shall lead you over to the pig pen, where you shall pick a piggie!
Link: I really feel sorry for you ladies...
Malon: Why?
Nerio: o.0 I should've guessed.
Konitsu: PIG WRESTLING!
Magic24: Then, you'll all saddle up... AND RACE EACH OTHER!
Konitsu: Or racing...
Magic24: Sorry, Konitsu. Not today...
Link: You all scare me.
Ruto: WHAT THE HECK?
Nerio: Don't worry, you... might...live.
Magic24: *Giggles a lot* PIGGIE RACING! I get to gamble cause I am magical!
Konitsu: -I- would have had you wrestling the pigs, but Magic insisted.
*Every girl walks over to look at the pigs, while Konitsu and Magic set up the track. Link is left to follow them and help.*
Konitsu: Cow pie here, mud hole there *points at locations and said opsitcals spring up*
Magic24: Biiiiiig muddy puddle here. Pig chow here... *Does the same*
Link: I repeat, you all scare me.
Nerio: Hopefully you won't have to get used to them.
Magic24: And Link, you can sit and watch. OK! Let's turn back and see the pigs they selected!
Nabooru: *standing next to a mean looking pig that keeps snorting*
Malon: *Standing next to a black and white pig that looks like a cow*
Magic24: SSOOOWWWWEEEYYYY!
Konitsu: Here, piggy, piggy!
Ruto: *Standing next to a white pig, that looks sickly* THEY MADE ME PICK LAST!
Magic24: And Marin's choice is...
Marin: *rolls eyes, standing next to a gentle looking pig she has adorned with sea shells* Isn't she just precious?
Konitsu: Wonderful, deary.
Link: A pig is a pig.
Nerio: Sow.
Konitsu: OINK!
Magic24: OK! Marin and Ruto, you race. And Malon and Nabooru, you race!
Nerio: I repeat, Sow.
Link: Sow, whatever.
Nabooru: Whatever.
Magic24: WHATEVER!
Konitsu: The two winners will not have the option of being voted off! The two losers, well, one of them faces... DOOM!
Magic24: AND THE OTHER I THROW IN THE MUD!
Ruto: I can't win on this thing!
Konitsu: That's the plan...I'll get you my pretty, and your little pig, too!
Nerio: Good god...
Magic24: Oink Oink-freaking- oink!
Konitsu: OOOIIIINNNNKKKKKK!
Link: Can we go now?
Nerio: No, they're not done yet.
Konitsu: Oinky, Oinky, Oink, OOOIIINNNKKK!
Link: --; how could ya tell?
Magic24: Oinky little piggies go OINK!
*Pigs look at Konitsu and Magic, who are very scary*
Konitsu: BIG PIG GO OOOIIIINNKKK!
Nerio: mmm, bacon!
Magic24: PIGS MAKE HAM!
*Pigs squeal in fear of the rabid fairies, humans, ect.*
Malon: *Watching the pig discussion* Oh god, I'm surrounded my morons...
Konitsu: AND MANY OTHER DELICIOUS MEAT PRODUCT AND BY-PRODUCTS!
Nabooru: Your first clue...
Magic24: YES THEY DO! OINKY OINKY OINKY OINK! I'm done.
Ruto: I am now scared of pigs.
Konitsu: One more *deep breath* OOOOIIIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKK!!! okay, done.
Marin: I'm scared of them *points at Konitsu and Magic*
Link: Thank the Godesses...
Magic24: Ok, onto the track!
Nerio: It's over.
Konitsu: Contestants, to your pigs! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT!
Marin: You. Have. Mental. Problems.
Magic24: WALK THEM SOWS OVER TO THAT STARTING LINE! *Everyone does so*
Malon: What gave it away?
Nerio: Pigs. Some of them are male.
Konitsu: WHATEVER!
Marin: Oh, I don't know... TAKE A GUESS!
Magic24: WHATEVER! Ok, Malon and Nabooru, you RACE FIRST!
Link: I'm just gonna step away now.
Konitsu: Yes, we should.
Magic24: *Walks up the hill with a big ol' whistle thingy and sits down*
Link: I have the feeling this is the type of thing you watch out of morbid curiosity, like the P-word movie.
Konitsu: I watched it 'cause I was invited...
Nerio: Yes, we've heard the story.
Magic24: So who do you guys think will win?
Konitsu: Malon, because I stage... *gets bonked on the head by a fast flying Nerio*
*Malon gets on the pig, which is funny to watch, and Nabooru does the same. They are now awaiting Magic's whistle*
Konitsu: YEE HAW! RIDE 'EM PIG GIRL!
Magic24: I hope Malon will win too! *Gets ready to blow the whistle*
Link: --; I want to go home.
Nerio: We all do, and just blow the whistle already.
Magic24: *BBBBIIIIIGGGG BBBRREEEAAATTHHEEEE..... Little toot* GO!
Konitsu: GIDDY UP!
*Malon and Nabooru start kicking the pigs, who stand there watching the mud. Soon they start to walk, and slowly lie in the mud*
Magic24: MOVVVEEE STUPID PIGS!
Konitsu: MWHAHA!
Nerio: And how did you plan on this working? Morons.
*Pigs get scared of Magic and Konitsu, and run really fast around the track. Nabooru falls off, so Malon runs ahead*
Konitsu: GET UP POINTY LADY! MWHAHAHA!
Link: What is -wrong- with you?
*Soon Malon's is in a puddle, and so she gets off and pushes the pig. Nabooru isn't far behind, but her pig stops for some grub*
Nerio: She has her 'mental problems' list alphabitized.
Magic24: HAHAHAHA! PUSH THE PIGGY!
Link: --;
*Malon gets the pig going, and crosses the finish line. Nabooru's has fully stopped and is lying in the mud*
Konitsu: MWHAHAHA!
Malon: *BIG BREATH* I WWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!
Magic24: AND IT'S OVER! PIG/COW GIRL WINS THE FIRST RACE!
Link: And my new quote for today "You all scare me"
Konitsu: YEE HAW!
Magic24: I LUV THIS THING!
Malon: Can I clean up now?
Nabooru: *mutters curse words*
Magic24: And I thought Nabooru's pig would win...
Konitsu: I did too, ponder the mysteries of life...
Malon: CAN I CLEAN UP NOW?
Nerio: Don't ponder to much Konitsu, we wouldn't want you to self-combust... YES! CLEAN UP!
Magic24: The ways of god is weird... YES, YES YOU CAN! *Runs down and pushes Nabooru in the mud* HAHAHA! *Runs back up the hill*
*Malon goes off to clean up, while Ruto and Marin set up to race.*
Nabooru: *runs after magic, syth held high*
Konitsu: I wonder if it would be more fun to intervine, or to watch magic get her arse kicked...
Link: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
Nerio: A LOT is wrong with them.
Magic24: *Trips Nabooru* HAHAHA! *Runs away towards the pig pen*
Nabooru: *tackles Magic from behind and starts a cat fight...which Nabooru promptly wins before Link gets sick of them and intervines*
Magic24: *Whining* I could have had her... If I had my marker.....
Malon: Ok, I'm clean and back, who's next?
Konitsu: *twirls frying pan* Weapons of world desctructions...don't leave home without them!
Nerio: --;
Magic24: *Gets at the top of the hill* Ok, let's get ready...
Konitsu: RUTO AND MARIN! Get on the pigs and line up!
Magic24: *BIIIIG BREATH..... LITTLE WHISTLE BLOW* GOOO GOOO GOOO!
Malon: Why do you do that?
Ruto: *grumbles about 'stupid sick pigs' as her coughs and chockes when she tries to get it to go*
Magic24: It's fun.
*Marin whispers calm words to her pig, and it ambles slowly down the race way, ignoring all obsticals, while Ruto has submitted to the 'push and curse' tactic for her pig... I think you know who wins*
Magic24: HAHAHA! GO SEA PIG GO!
Malon: Why couldn't my pig do that?
Konitsu: *watching Marin's pig amble slowly along* This is going to take FOREVER!
Nerio: No idea.
Link: You. Are. All. Insane.
Nerio: Your first clue...
Magic24: It's like a big snail...
Konitsu: *singing* IT'S THE PIG RACE THAT NEVER ENDS!
Magic24: *singing* YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND!
Malon: DEAR GOD!
Konitsu: SOME PEOPLE STARTING RACING IT NOT NOWING IT WAS SLOW!
Link: *grumbling* If I had my sword with me right now...
Marin: *about halfway down the track* Good piggy.
Magic24: AND THEY JUST KEPT ON RACING SO THEIR HEAD KONITSU WOULDN'T BLOW!
Ruto: *about two inches away from the starting line* Stupid pig.
Malon: STOP! GO MARIN! WIN THE DAMN RACE SO THEY'LL STOP!
Konitsu: IT'S THE PIG RACE THAT NEVER ENDS!
Marin: You shouldn't scream, she's going just as fast as she can! *pats piggy*
Magic24: AND IT WILL GO ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!
Link: I can't believe I let them keep me here...
Nerio: I'm halfway to singing myself.
Link: *goes barbarian tactic on the two hostess and knocks them out*
Nerio: Nevermind...
Magic24: *Grumbling while being unconious* Some Piggies, started racing it...
Malon: My hero
Konitsu: *talking in her sleep* Pretty pigg....sooooeeeyyy.
Link: Happy to oblidge.
Nerio: He made them stop! I LOVE YOU MAN! *glomps Link as best a fairy can*
Magic24: *Recovers* Why the hell did you do that? I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU WANT TO DIE?
Konitsu: *wakes up* Do not kill the bishie! SAVE THE BISHIES!!! *blinks* Yama-sama.
Link: *Rolls eyes*
Magic24: Very well. But never hit me again, I've already been beat up today... *Watching race* WHY ISN'T THIS OVER YET?
Nerio: Yes, Konitsu, chase after Yamato.
Malon: Go faaaaar away....
Konitsu: Yes, it is over, cast your vote, I most go to my annual Yama stalkers meeting now... I bid you good day. *waves and wonders off*
Nerio: Don't. wanna. know.
Link: No one does.
Magic24: I WILL FINISH THEN! *Grabs Konitsu* Vote for either Ruto or Nabooru.
Malon: You can't vote me off!
Ruto: I DON'T WANT TO BE A FISH STICK!
Konitsu: *zombie mode* Must...stalk...
Nerio: --;;
Konitsu: Ishida...booty...good...
Nerio: 0.o
Magic24: THE PIGGIE JUMPED OVER THE MOON! *Blinks* Oh never mind.... Anyway, vote vote vote!
Link: And were leaving *Hurridly closes the curtain, but you catch a glimpse of Konitsu runnig off after another blonde bishie*
*You can also hear Magic singing the "Song that Never Ends" and people hitting her.*
*sparkly letters* THE END... for now! *dum dum ddduuummm* MHUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA *evil giggle*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: AND SO ENDS THIS WEIRD STORY OF OURS! DEAR GOD! Now, vote for either Ruto, or Nabooru. I think Ruto will go, but just think, wouldn't it be cool if we FORCED LINK TO DATE HER? *Giggles* THAT WOULD BE SO WEIRD! And fun to watch... Next week: ROBOT TORTURE AND ANGRY PIGEON POOP! *Giggles again* We just came up with that! See ya next time, and review! THERE WILL BE A PRIZE COMING UP FOR YOU GUYS SHORTLY! ~Magic24